Never Knew I Needed You
by SunnyCait
Summary: Santana has an unexpected consequence of her actions, and is forced to deal with something she isn't ready for. Santana/Quinn/Brittany Friendship, might turn into something more. I REALLY suck with summaries! NOT repetitive of Quinn's tale.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - I feel kind of cheated! I've had this in the works for quite some time, and all of the sudden I see like 3-4 fics where Santana is or gets pregnant. I thought the idea would be ultimate irony... And challenging to write. As a mother I know how much your perceptions of the world can change once you have a child/become pregnant... I thought it'd be interesting to see how it would change for Santana, how a pregnancy would affect her relationships, with Quinn and Brittany especially. She's such a ... well. Bitch. Which is where the challenge comes in. Now I have a lot written but really so much could be done with this story... I am stuck on where to go really. So I thought I'd post up the story and get some opinions... If someone has spare time and feels like being my sounding board, PLEASE let me know. I have some major ideas but can't decide on the direction. Anyway, read on and let me know what you think!**

Despite what everyone thought, Santana couldn't speak, read, write, or understand any Spanish beyond "Hola", "adios", "si" and "una vez mas". Her parents didn't even speak Spanish, save for terms of endearment and when they yelled at her and her brothers. Seriously, since when does having the last name Lopez mean you automatically are Spanish speaking? Hell didn't J. Lo only learn it to play Selena? Who, by the way, also only learned it to be more "Mexican". The whole thing was a fallacy. Which is why she rolled her eyes and closed her Spanish book as people scrambled to pick partners for their newest assignment, something about what they planned to do over spring break. To be written, of course, completely in Spanish. She grumbled to herself and shoved the book in her bag, since she already had no clue what was going on. Of course, no one would dare ask to be her partner, so she was safe there. Brittany was always her partner, in any of their classes. The tall blonde practically skipped over to Santana's table, and beamed her a huge smile.

"Hey partner!" Brittany said brightly. Santana pushed her desk partner's crap onto the floor to make room for her friend. Any irritation she felt towards the class and language in general sort of melted away when Brittany sat down, her giant smile still plastered on her face. It was hard to be angry when that face was around.

"Hey Britt. Why are you so happy?" Santana dug out a nail file from her bag and began to groom herself, idly paying attention to the task at hand, as normal. She felt sick, and was trying to distract herself from that. She'd been feeling off for the past couple of weeks, but was ignoring her symptoms as best as she could, too busy with Glee Club and Cheerios practice to take the time to care for her health all too much. As long as she could cheer, sing, and dance, she knew she'd be fine anyway. Brittany sat down beside her and continued to smile happily.

"It's Glee Club day!" Brittany chirped in reply. Santana scowled and looked at Brittany sideways.

"You don't have to be so obviously in geek-love with it," she retorted crossly. Seeing Brittany's crestfallen face, she sighed and checked herself, as she so often did when talking to Brittany. It was too easy to upset her, and Santana often forgot Brittany was one of the few people she didn't like to upset. She hooked her pinky with her friend's and smiled at her. "I'm happy we're going to rehearsal too," she admitted, in a voice too low for anyone else to hear. She only once told anyone besides Brittany that she enjoyed the Glee Club. And she did, when it wasn't full of loser-centric drama she didn't care anything about. She gave Brittany a subtle smile and wrinkled her nose. Brittany's grin returned full force, wider than before.

"I thought you might be in a bad mood. I'm glad you're not."

"No, I'm not in a bad mood, Britt," Santana reassured her. "I've just been feeling under the weather lately." Brittany stared back at her with a confused face. "I mean I don't feel well," she added quickly, before she had to explain that turn of phrase in too great of detail. Brittany's confusion became concern.

"I noticed you have been taking even more trips to the girls' bathroom than you normally do, even more than to skip classes. Does your tummy hurt?" she asked, placing a hand on Santana's stomach, as if she could feel if the other girl was in pain. Santana layed her hand over Brittany's hand on her own belly and nodded.

"A little. It's more of a throw-up feeling." When Brittany frowned at this news, Santana wrapped her hand around Brittany's and drew it away from her stomach. "It's not that serious though."

"I remember when Quinn would throw up all of the time," Brittany said slowly, the wheels turning in her head.

"That was morning sickness, sweetie," Santana assured her. She only used cutsie names for Brittany; she was the only one deserving.

"Maybe you're pregnant!" Brittany squealed, loud enough for practically everyone in class to hear her, including Mr. Shue. Strike that "deserving" comment, apparently. Santana would have blushed if she hadn't spent the last two years perfecting her cool.

"BRITTANY!" she hissed, grabbing her friends wrist and yanking her arm lightly to get her to shut up. She glared around the room at anyone who was looking at her because of the outburst. They all turned back to their work immediately, their curiousity overwhelmed by their absolute fear of Santana. "Do you have something to say Free Willy?" she spat at a plus size girl who was stupid enough to not look away as fast as the others did. The girl grimaced and turned around, pretending to read out of her Spanish book. Santana winced inwardly; she knew that was cruel, even for her. Mr. Shue shot her a "Behave" look before going to help a student with the assignment. Santana looked at Brittany with muted disdain. "I'm not pregnant," she whispered furiously. "Don't even say that. Look at what happened to Quinn as soon as everyone realized she was carrying her parasite." The meer thought of such a fate befalling her made her want to puke right then and there. Brittany looked hurt but also like she was about to say something else.

"What do you..."

"She's a flippin' pariah now! No one speaks to her. The nerds SLUSHIED her, for God's sake!" Santana said, maintaining her low but harsh whisper. She wanted to squash this and now, before Brittany said anything to anyone else. That was the last thing she needed, was people thinking that she was pregnant.

"Oh. Okay... I'm sorry," Brittany said softly, her eyes downcast. Santana knew she was being harsh but she felt she had to be, at least in this instance. She was about to reiterate the fact that she wasn't pregnant when the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Sighing, she decided she'd made her point well enough not to continue berating her friend. She brushed Brittany's arm with the back of her fingers and gave her a smile.

"Come on, let's go grab something to eat before Glee Club." Brittany still looked a little unsure, so Santana stood up and stooped down to touch noses with her. "My treat!" At this Brittany perked up considerably.

"Dairy Queen!"

Neither girl was able to drive yet (Santana never bothered to study for the test and Brittany... well) so they walked off campus and down 33rd Street to the Dairy Queen. They wolfed down small vanilla and chocolate twist cones, not savoring it as they should have probably. Ice cream, or any junk food really, was a rare treat for them, seeing as they had to stay in tip top shape for the Cheerios. A few minutes after throwing her napkin in the trash can, Santana felt ill again. This time was a little different than before, and she knew her stomach meant it's threats now.

"Britt, I gotta..." she started to say, but dashed off into the bathroom mid-sentence, Cheerio's skirt flipping up slightly in her rush. She was aware someone else was in the bathroom as she heaved into the public restroom's toilet, but right now she didn't care. She puked until there was nothing coming up, until her abs burned slightly from the effort. When it was over, she quickly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and flushed the toilet. "Gross." She opened the stall door and a familiar voice greeted her.

"Hey Santana. Having fun I see." Quinn was standing at the sinks, drying off her hands with a papertowel. Her belly was far too big to even attempt to hide now, although Santana felt that Quinn might be secure enough with the pregnancy not to try.

"Watch it, Tubbers," Santana growled. Quinn rolled her eyes and tossed her papertowel in the garbage.

"Get over yourself, Santana," the pregnant girl told her. Seeing the situation she had been found in Santana considered Quinn's statement and dropped her death stare. She began to wash her hands in the sink.

"I'm really grouchy lately," she said half heartedly in explaination. "What are you up to? I don't see you trolling Dairy Queen that often." Quinn raised an eyebrow at her and made a "Hmm" sound, as if she wanted to talk about something else.

"All the baby wants is Oreo Blizzards," she said with half a laugh. The two hadn't been at ease with each other in ages, ever since Quinn was kicked off the Cheerios. It was slightly awkward to be making banter, especially since they were standing in the bathroom Santana had just lost her lunch and ice cream cone in. Santana gave a sort of chuckle.

"How much longer until that thing pops out?" she asked, now wiping her mouth and face off, glancing at Quinn and her baby bump in the mirror. Quinn held a hand on top of her stomach and bit her lip in thought.

"Two more weeks. Maybe sooner."

"Ah," Santana commented, now ready to leave the bathroom. She hesitated, waiting for Quinn to say something else or follow her. But the other girl made no moves. She just stared at Santana, scrutinizing her.

"What about you?" she asked slowly.

"What about me what?" Santana shot back. The queasy feeling returned, but she knew it was her nerves this time and not her stomach.

"Santana..." Quinn began, pausing with uncertainty in how to continue on with the conversation. She shook her head and smiled instead. "Nothing. Let's get out of here, some girl upchucked and the smell is making my head hurt," she said with a hint of a tease. The two girls exited the bathroom and joined up with Brittany, who looked at Santana worriedly.

"Are you okay? Is your tummy sick again?" she asked, and Santana knew she was restraining herself from reaching out and touching her stomach just to find out for herself.

"I'm fine," Santana told her, taking her hand and squeezing it. She hated for Brittany to worry, it just didn't suit her well at all. And Brittany cared far too much about other people, at least in Santana's opinion. Brittany seemed to notice Quinn standing there all of the sudden.

"Hi Quinn!" she said brightly, and then she cast a sideways glance at Santana, as if to make sure it was okay to talk to Quinn.

"Hey Brittany." Santana gave a barely noticeable nod and Brittany took Quinn's hand with her free one. Linked with her two best friends, she beamed.

"Let's walk back to school together. We're going to be late for Glee Club." No one commented on Brittany's statement, they just went along with her, the two other girls allowing themselves to be lead all the way back to McKinley High School.

When they reached the auditorium, it seemed the day's meeting was already well underway. The guys were standing off to one side arguing, and the girls to another, and Mr. Shue was in the middle, waving his hands around in what seemed like an attempt to restore order. Rachel saw them walk in and threw her hands in the air, taking a few steps towards them.

"Finally! I am getting extremely exhausted of always waiting on you stragglers to get practice under way!" she exclaimed, her hands coming to rest on her hips.

"If all you're doing is waiting how can you be exhausted?" Finn asked, truly perplexed.

"Keeping this talent from bursting forth by waiting is a tiring effort!" Rachel explained. Mercedes rolled her eyes at Rachel and waved at them.

"Hey Quinn, hey Brittany! Come on, we're going to start with "Beautiful Liar"." Santana's feelings weren't hurt by Mercedes not greeting her. Ever since that Puck thing they weren't exactly speaking. They warmed up and each member took their place on the stage. Just as she was about to start singing, it happened again. She barfed. Right on stage. In front of the entire Glee Club.

"Are you serious!" Artie yelled, rolling himself backwards from the carnage.

"Santana, that's just nasty," Mike said, crinkling his nose in disgust. Tina stood by horrified, so did the rest of the Glee Club except for Quinn and Brittany. Brittany promptly threw up also (albeit into Kurt's hat) and Quinn rushed to Santana's side, as fast as she could manage to get across the stage by waddling.

"Are you okay?" she asked Santana, her voice full of concern. She placed her hand on Santana's back as she hurled again.

"This is quite possibly the worst day of my life," Kurt said in complete horror, holding his hat that now contained Brittany puke and staring at Santana puking again. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes to keep the offending image out. "Most definitely the worst day of my life."

"Word," agreed Puck.

"Guys just stop it," Mr. Shue said, coming up on stage and dodging the mess on the stage floor. "Santana, you need to go home. Matt, go get a janitor... Now...". Matt ran off quickly; there was no need to tell him to get the heck out of there and fast. Santana looked as if she might go again and Mr. Shue stepped back slightly. "Whoa!"

"Sorry, Mr. Shue," Santana said weakly, allowing Quinn to hold her hand. "I'm not sure what's wrong with me..." She looked tired and pale, very unlike the vivacious and livewire Santana they saw every day. It made everyone even more uneasy, although they couldn't possibly be more grossed out. Quinn put her arm around Santana's shoulders and started to lead her off of the stage. Brittany regained her composure, and after a simple apology to Kurt about his hat, followed the other two girls out of the auditorium and out of the front doors of the school.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay! So I've had some positive remarks on this one already, both from people here and in real life. So onward I shall go! It will pick up pace soon enough, but it has to kind of plod on for a bit to get everyone where they're supposed to "be". Then the real drama shall start. :) Please if you have any ideas or comments, feel free to send me a message or review this chapter. Read on, dear readers! **

They made it to Brittany's house, where all three of them headed up to Brittany's bedroom. Quinn took action, ordering Brittany to run a bath in her adjoining bathroom and simultaneously sitting Santana on the bed and taking off her shoes and socks.

"Guys, seriously, it's not that big of a deal," Santana argued, even though she made no real effort to stop them from babying her. A bath sounded extraordinarily awesome right now. Quinn took out her ponytail and ran her fingers through her hair so it wouldn't puff up, and got her Cheerios uniform off of her. She tossed them in a corner and planned to launder them.

"I have to hand it to you Santana, that's one way to get out of Glee practice," Quinn said lightly, trying to make her friend feel better.

"I just threw up. Twice. In front of the entire Glee Club. I am now officially a loser," Santana dead-panned. She was definitely not in the mood for making light of what just happened. Quinn gave a little half shrug, but didn't say anything more. Brittany called out from the bathroom for Santana. She heaved herself from the edge of Brittany's bed and walked in her bra and undies into the bathroom. Brittany had run the water decently hot and the tub was filled with bubbles that smelled like strawberries. Santana recognized the scent as being very Brittany.

"I love bubbles, so I thought you would like them too," she told Santana, happily running her hands through the white foam. Santana smiled in spite of herself.

"Thanks, Britt." Brittany crinkled her nose merrily and left Santana to her bath. Santana finished getting undressed and lowered herself into the tub. She let out a huge breath of air. She was suddenly so tired, and the strong scent of strawberries was making her stomach do little flips. She had no idea what had come over her to make her feel like this. It was pretty ridiculous. She'd always been a very healthy person, and now it was like she was falling apart. It had begun to affect her activities and that was just not okay with her. That's all she really had going for her was Glee Club and the Cheerios. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the edge of the tub, careful to not get her hair wet. She stayed there for some time, breathing deeply to keep the waves of nausea at bay until the water turned too cool to be comfortable.

"San?" Brittany called in to the bathroom, right as Santana was wrapping herself in a towel. Brittany came in anyway and handed her a box. "Quinn says you have to like, pee on it." Santana stared wide-eyed at the box, reading the front print.

"EPT Pregnancy Test..." Santana stopped reading and looked at Brittany in horror. "What did you tell her?" she said evenly, even though she wanted to scream. Brittany was a great friend but she was dumber than a box of rocks and sometimes that came back to bite Santana in the ass, like now. "What did you tell Quinn?" Brittany looked hurt, and recoiled slightly. Even if Santana didn't sound overly mad, she knew her best friend well enough to know she'd messed up somehow. She rubbed her hands together nervously and stepped a little bit closer.

"I just told her how your tummy has been hurting, and how you've been throwing up..." As she had earlier, she placed her hand on Santana's stomach. Santana fought the urge to smack her hand away. "I was just trying to help," Brittany ended feebly. Santana tilted her head back closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths. She had to remind herself that Brittany meant well. After a few moments she was able to reply calmly.

"I am _not_ peeing on that _fucking_ stick." Well. Calmly for Santana under the circumstances.

"Santana, who are you fooling?" came Quinn's voice from the doorway. She stood with her left hand on her hip and her right on the giant swell that was her stomach. "You said it yourself, you never say no. And are you even on birth control?" Santana was silent. Brittany nodded her head slowly in agreeance with Quinn.

"You did say that, remember when..."

"Yes, I remember that! I was there," Santana interrupted, angrily. She didn't address either point Quinn had just made, which only emboldened Quinn more.

"Just do it," Quinn coaxed. "It won't hurt to at least rule it out, right? If it's negative then it's just a stomach bug."

"It IS just a stomach bug," Santana insisted. "It is," she repeated, less convincingly. She hated to think it but they could be right... She never said no... And she wasn't on birth control. She wasn't so stupid as to not use a condom though. She always made sure she used condoms. But they weren't 100% effective. Right? Wasn't that what she learned in health class? She started getting this awful sinking feeling. What if she was pregnant? Her parents would kill her! She'd be kicked off the Cheerios... She had only just been made captain of the squad. She'd never be able to show her face at school again. Her life would, in effect, be over.

"Please, Santana," Quinn asked, a soft plea in her voice. Suddenly Santana realized that if she were pregnant, she was looking her future in the face. Quinn was actually living the nightmare. She felt a little ashamed of herself, and embarrassed to have been so blind about what this pregnancy had meant for Quinn. Wordlessly she opened the box, and waved her friends away with one hand, not looking them in the eyes. Once she was alone, she followed the directions on the box, and kept the time with her cell phone. When there was a minute left to wait, she called for them to come back. The three of them sat hunched over on the edge of the tub, waiting. It seemed like the longest three minutes of Santana's life. When the time was up, she closed her eyes tight.

"One of you look. I can't." Quinn didn't hesitate to reach for the test, remembering how she'd felt when she had done this same thing... alone. She held it in her hands and studied it for a moment. She bit her lip and glanced at Brittany, who was still smart enough to read the people closest to her. And she started crying.

"Oh Santana!" Brittany yelped, wrapping her long arms around her best friend. Santana still held her eyes shut tight, fighting the tears that were freely falling down her face. She remained rigid, even when Quinn joined in the embrace. Santana's hand brushed against Quinn's stomach as Quinn reached her arms around her shoulders, and she felt the baby inside kick. Hard. Even it knew what was happening, mocking her. The effort to stall her tears seemed futile, and finally she let loose with a low wail. Quinn and Brittany reacted by hugging her tighter, trying to protect her. The few times they'd seen Santana cry had been nothing like this. They weren't sure what to do besides just hold her, and whisper what small words of comfort they could force from their lips.

When Santana had cried herself to almost the point of dehydration, the three girls returned to Brittany's room and flopped on their backs on the bed, Santana nestled between her two friends. They lay there in silence for awhile, just being.

"Quinn, I'm sorry," Santana said after several minutes, her voice husky and rough from crying. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when it happened to you." She wasn't looking her in the face, her gaze was set on a star on the ceiling. Brittany still had glow in the dark stars peppering her room, even though she was too old for them. Quinn sighed audibly.

"I'm just sorry it's happening to you, too. It was hard for me, it still is. I can only imagine it will be much worse for you."

"How?" Brittany asked, wondering.

"She's the head bitch in charge now," Quinn said matter-of-factly.

"So were you, when it happened to you," Santana pointed out. She felt nauseous again and cursed the stupid parasite growing in her stomach, now realizing how obvious this should have been right from the start.

"But it means more to you, Santana. And I know it does. It always has," Quinn said softly. She turned on her side, causing her stomach to glance Santana's arm. She noticed how Santana flinched at their contact but ignored it. "Ever since I came here Freshman year and became Sue's favorite. I knew you were in line for head cheerleader. And you've wanted it ever since then, and hated me for getting it, for being who you were supposed to be."

"Santana doesn't hate you, you're her friend," Brittany interjected defensively. Santana was surprised at Quinn's accuracy but not at Brittany's naivete. In Brittany's world, friends didn't think mean thoughts about each other.

"Well I don't hate you _now_," she said flatly. She remembered the burning anger when Quinn was announced head Cheerio, how she wanted to punch Quinn in the face almost everyday for the first two months of her reign. Yes, still they were friends, but being the captain of the cheerleading squad's right hand girl was a poor subsitute for the real power. And yes, she enjoyed every moment since her status changed from second in command to, as Quinn put it so pleasantly, Head Bitch in Charge. It would kill her to lose that power.

"What are you going to do?" Brittany asked softly, her fingers smoothing Santana's hair back from her temple, almost petting her.

"I'm getting rid of it," Santana said firmly. She didn't even need to think about that. It was the only way to keep things exactly as they had been this morning, when she was oblivious to her plight. It was the only way things could stay normal for her. Brittany's little strokes stopped, but she didn't say anything. Santana didn't have to look at her to know she was probably frowning, or, more even more probable, looked confused. She could feel Quinn's gaze on her face, judging. "I'm not like you," she stated, and she knew Quinn knew she was addressing her from her slightly apologetic tone. "I can't put myself through what you are going through. And I may have been raised Catholic just like you, but I can't justify having this baby, not for any reason." She moved her head slightly so she could see Quinn's face. "It's okay to hate me," she said simply. Quinn shook her head and grabbed Santana's hand in hers.

"I don't hate you. And no matter what you decide, I'll support you." Santana couldn't believe her ears at this point.

"What have I done to deserve that? What have I ever done to deserve you supporting me? I sure as hell didn't support you. And I'm not a good friend, either."

"Santana." Quinn's tone was hard, as if she were talking to a stubborn child. "Don't make this harder for yourself. You're going to need some good friends by your side for this." The irony struck Santana hard, like someone punched her in the chest and knocked the wind out of her. Where were Quinn's friends when she needed them? Selfishly absorbed in high school crap that didn't really matter, she realized now. Well she'd make up for that. Santana squeezed Quinn's hand.

"You will too."

"Let's make a pact!" Brittany squealed, sitting upright. Santana knew she was expected to sit up as well, and obliged, as did Quinn, though she needed a push up. The three girls formed a little triangle on the middle of the bed, sitting cross legged with their knees touching. "Take my pinky," she said excitedly, holding her left hand out to Santana. She hooked her right pinky with Brittany's. "And Quinn take my other." Quinn did as she was told, and wordlessly completed the chain by taking Santana's pinky with her own. Brittany was absolutely beaming. They leaned their heads in close, so that all their foreheads were touching.

"This is so middle school," Santana couldn't help but saying. Neither girl acknowledged her comment.

"Let's promise to start being better friends," Brittany said plainly. "And be there for each other and support each other. Real friends! Like Spongebob and Patrick." After a beat she added, "And um Sandy." They all couldn't help but giggle.

"I promise," Quinn said, smiling at her friends.

"I promise," Santana repeated. And she meant it.

**A/N Part 2: Okay so it was a bit cheesey. But I had to get them back together LOL! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it's taking me so long to update! I am a bit stuck on a few things. There's so much to cover but I really need to get a move on, getting momentum built up. Just trying to figure out a few details that are standing in the way of really rolling this story out.**

Santana and Quinn left Brittany's house and were now at Santana's place. They had stopped by the drugstore and bought another test, just to be sure. Hiding it from her parents would have been hard, except she knew that they were already out, visiting her eldest brother's new apartment. Her second eldest brother was at work, where he'd be for the next five or so hours. Before going upstairs to Santana's room, they fixed a plate of sandwiches and brought them upstairs, along with the test. They settled on the futon that was squeezed into the corner of her tiny room (since she was the only girl, she didn't have to share growing up but it did mean she got the smallest bedrooom) and flipped on the TV. Santana watched Quinn scarf down three sandwiches with lightening speed in amazement, not partaking in the snack herself, still too queasy to even entertain the thought of eating real food. Quinn shrugged, and offered one to Santana as she took a bite of her fourth sandwich.

"Want one?" she asked through her mouthful of turkey and cheese.

"Um no," Santana said, wrinkling her nose. "It makes my stomach upset." She reached for her canteen of Sue's Master Cleanse (pretty much the only thing she could keep down these days, however ironic that was) and was about to take a drink when she noticed Quinn making a horrified face. "What?" she asked, frowning in her direction.

"Why are you drinking that? You're pregnant."

"Quinn, I told you. I'm not keeping it. I don't think it really matters." And with that she threw back her head and chugged half the bottle. Quinn looked perturbed but didn't say anything. It was odd to see Quinn not voicing her opinion as freely as she once did, which meant more work for Santana ultimately because now she had to decipher her silences or pauses. She supposed she wouldn't be able to be as crass as she'd been in the past... Especially when talking about this situation. "Do you want me to stop?" she asked, trying to appease her friend. To her it truly didn't matter, but it obviously struck a chord with Quinn, who nodded. "Fine." Santana capped the canteen and tossed it, the bottle landing in a pile of dirty clothes by her bed. A few minutes of silence passed before Quinn spoke again.

"Who's is it?" Santana blanched visibly, and bit her lip. She hadn't given any thought to that aspect, there simply hadn't been time between when she found out and now.

"Um..." It took her a few seconds to really think about it, not that she wanted to at all. Once she had, she wished she hadn't. "It's either Puck's or... Finn's..." She winced and waited for Quinn to react to that news. It was either the baby of Quinn's baby's daddy or ex-boyfriend. Either scenario did not look good for that pinky promise pact they had just made less than an hour ago. Quinn did not hide her shock.

"Finn? Santana!" she exclaimed, eyes wide and mouth agape, sandwich forgotten.

"I know!" Santana said with a groan and another wince. She put her face in her hands, ashamed. She had no idea how Quinn would feel about that little nugget of knowledge. She knew if it was her, she'd be beating her ass already.

"I mean Puck I get, he's a whore," Quinn said flippantly, before continuing in a more shocked voice. "But... Finn's a virgin!"

"No, he's not..." Santana said slowly. Yeah, that whole pact was about to go out the window, she could feel it. She felt dirty even acknowledging what she'd done, she could only imagine (and wildly imagine, at that) how Quinn felt about it.

"You...?" Quinn was staring at her, hard. Santana nodded.

"Yeah... Like a month ago..." She waited for Quinn to blow up. Instead Quinn sat quietly. After a few awkward seconds, she spoke.

"Wow. I did not see that coming. At all." Santana swallowed hard. This was excrutiating. They had just made up, and now she had jeopardized their friendship again.

"I didn't either really..." she said uncomfortably. If only she'd kept her damn legs closed and not cared so much about stupid being popular!

"We don't have to talk about it," Quinn said quickly. "At least not right now. It's too much at once." She breathed in deeply through her mouth, her chest rising and falling heavily. Then she took a giant bite of her sandwich and rifled through the grocery bag the pregnancy test was in. She handed the box to Santana. "Just go be sure." Santana opened it and took out a test, surprised to find another in there as well.

"Hey, there's two in here. You want to take the other one?" Santana joked, getting up from the futon and heading towards the door of her bedroom. She was just happy to be able to run away from this situation for a little while. She wasn't as lucky as Brittany to have her own private bathroom, so she'd have to use the one shared by all of the Lopez family.

"Ha ha," Quinn scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You pee on both of them." Santana went to the bathroom and took both tests. There was a knock at the door just as she was pulling her pants back up, causing her heart to jump in her throat. She thought for sure it was one of her parents, or god forbid, one of her older brothers.

"What do you want?" she called out, praying for it to be her dad, who would be the least likely to notice anything fishy if she lied well enough.

"It's just me, how is it going?" It was Quinn. Of course it was Quinn. The others would be gone for hours still. Santana breathed in deeply, calming her nerves.

"Come in, I still have to wait," she said cooly. Quinn let herself in and stood by Santana's side, staring at the clock on the wall. The wait time passed by quicker this time, before she knew it it was time to read the tests.

"Want me to do it again?" asked Quinn, a hand already out for the first test. Santana nodded her assent. Quinn peered at the little plastic window and clicked her tongue. "Positive." She looked at the second test, and looked apologetically at Santana. As she was about to open her mouth, Santana held up her hand.

"I think I get it." This just didn't stop getting more real, did it? Suddenly she was reminded of earlier that day in the restroom at Dairy Queen. After she had asked Quinn when her baby was due, Quinn had said "What about you?". Santana turned a steely gaze to Quinn. "How did you know? At Dairy Queen?" Quinn shrugged and lifted and dropped her hand dismissively.

"I don't really know. Just a feeling." Santana waited for more of an answer than that. With a sigh, Quinn obliged her. "I've noticed you looking uncomfortable and making runs to the bathroom every five seconds at school for the past week and a half. And you've been more touchy," she said carefully, alluding to the fact she almost threw down with Mercedes, over Puck, who she had no real interest in. "But it was mostly a guess," she added quickly. "I mean it's not obvious or anything; you're not even showing." Santana looked down at her abdomen, frowning.

"I have gained like three pounds. I just thought it was stress." Sue had bi-weekly weigh-ins for all of the Cheerios which were stictly enforced after Quinn was kicked off the team, so Santana was well aware of that very subtle change. She wouldn't be able to hide any further weight gain from Sue for very long, without being told to only consume water for a week straight. From prior experiences, that was not fun. This baby thing needed taken care of, and soon.

"Will you go with me to the clinic?" she asked, forcing the words out in a hurry. Quinn shook her head apologetically, looking down at the tiles on the bathroom floor.

"I'm sorry but no. I think that's something Brittany is going to have to do," she told her friend, although not unkindly. "I trust you to make the right decision for yourself, but I can't be there... during something like that." Quinn avoided Santana's gaze. "I hope you can respect that."

"No, yeah, I understand." Santana did understand why Quinn wouldn't... _couldn't_... go to the abortion clinic with her. She was sure it was something Quinn didn't even consider for herself. But she also knew she couldn't ask that of Brittany. She remembered how Brittany had acted when she'd said she was getting rid of it. Oh sure, Brittany would go with her if she wanted her to. That's just the kind of friend she was. But it was really too much to ask of her; Santana couldn't imagine asking her. She wouldn't want to tarnish Brittany, or risk taking a bit of her innocence away by having her go through that ordeal by her side. Without even thinking of mentioning it to Brittany, she knew she would have to do it alone. With that resolve, Santana felt confident again. She had a plan. Everything would get back to normal, as soon as she could get an appointment at that clinic. In fact, she might as well start pretending now. "Come on, let's go back to my room. This bathroom is too small to hang out in." She crammed the tests back into the box and took it with her back into her room, where she stuffed it in the very bottom of her trashcan. She knew her mother wouldn't check the trash; she just wasn't that kind of mom. She and Quinn spent the rest of the evening in her room, watching TV and catching up on the things they'd missed in each other's lives while their friendship was on hiatus. Santana explained all about Finn, and the Puck thing, while Quinn did the same. The ridiculousness of the situation did not escape either one of them, in fact it became the butt of many jokes up until Santana's parents came home.

**A/N And here is where I am stuck. Hopefully I am able to have a creative minds meeting with one of my best friends (and one of the best Glee fanatics out there I know) and she can help me make the decisions that need to be made in order to get going again. Man. It's hard to pick and choose what we'll see for Santana, because obviously, it's A LOT but I don't want to show the same things Quinn went through. Luckily they forget her storyline on the show quite a bit so it's all good for the most part LMAO. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry the time it took me to upload! I have tons worked out now, thank god. Thank you to my dearest friend Auggie and my new pal Significanct Insignificance, who both helped me immensely. Auggie, you're the only one I can talk to about Glee all day with! And you're always a huge amount of help and inspiration. Love you! **

**This chapter is going to be long. It was originally written as two chapters... But the first part wasn't long enough to stand on it's own, I thought. So you get one long chapter. And I did my research the best I could, if some of the technical aspects are off, just go with it. It's Fanfiction. **

"Santana! We're back from Sambora's. Come, we've brought you leftovers, _mija_!" she heard her father yell. Despite the knowledge that they had no clue what was going on, Santana felt panicked and nervous at their arrival. Quinn sensed this and flicked her eyes to the door of Santana's room.

"Are you going to tell them?"

"No," Santana said automatically. "No. They don't need to know anything about it, once I have it taken care of there won't be any reason to tell them anything. There's no use worrying them about something that isn't even an issue."

"If you say so," Quinn said, letting it drop. If Finn hadn't told her parents with that ridiculous song she wasn't sure how or when she would have told them anyway.

"_Mija_?"

"Coming, Dad!" Santana yelled back. "Come on, I have to pretend to eat. You can eat most of it and distract them," she said to Quinn, helping her friend up from the futon with a mock groan.

"I'm glad I could be of use to you." The two went downstairs and were greeted joyously by Santana's parents. Quinn was scooped up into a big hug by Santana's mother, a tall, curvy woman with Santana's cheekbones and jawline.

"We haven't seen you in quite some time, Bunny," she said to Quinn, using the nickname that only Santana's parents used for her. Neither girl had any idea where it came from but Quinn liked it. She smiled at Santana's mother.

"I've been a little busy," she said, rubbing her stomach. Santana's father gave her a wink and patted her on the shoulder. He was a short, portly kind of guy, darker like Santana while her mother was lighter skinned.

"Well don't be a stranger, eh?" he told her, before eyeing his daughter. Santana had taken the opportunity to fix her and Quinn plates of the food her parent's had brought back from her brother's while Quinn and her parent's had their mini-reunion. She handed Quinn's plate (obviously overloaded in comparison to the plate Santana had fixed herself) and the two girls sat down at the dining room table with her parents. "Santana, how was your day? I feel like I barely see you anymore between your cheerleading and your singing group."

"Glee Club, Daddy," she corrected him, rolling her eyes. "And it was good. Very uneventful." She took a large bite of food in an effort to keep them from asking her any further questions about her day. She felt like she could puke at any moment, but carried on chewing as if the food was the best in the world. If she hadn't been so repulsed by it, she was sure she'd have loved the food.

"Uneventful?" her mother questioned, mildly disbelieving. "No new songs or dances or routines today?" Quinn shook her head, coming to Santana's aid.

"Uneventful would definitely be the word for it," she insisted, and began to eat voraciously, as if she hadn't just demolished an entire plate of sandwiches by herself upstairs. It was no where near as hard for her to scarf down food as it was for Santana at that moment.

"If you say so," Santana's father said passively. "I've got to get some work done in the office, but you ladies have fun." He kissed each of the girls on the top of their head and gave his wife a peck on the cheek. "Santy, get to bed early tonight. You look a little tired." Santana gave him a forced smile and her father left to his office in the back of her parents' bedroom, followed shortly by her mother. Santana emptied her plate into the trash can and sat with Quinn while she finished her food. When she was done, the two said good-night.

"Make sure you get some rest," Quinn echoed Santana's father's sentiment before she went back to Puck's house to sleep. Santana gave her a quick hug, and did as they suggested. Before her eyes closed for the last time that night, she felt a little surge of confidence. Tomorrow would be fine, and if she could maintain an air of normalcy, there would be no kinks in her plan.

Try as she might, she couldn't just return to normal the next day. She felt the stares from the other Glee kids in the hallways as she walked past, in her classes, and by the time Glee Club rolled around, she was sick of it. She was sitting back in the corner of the choir room with Brittany at her side as usual when she snapped.

"That's it!" she practically yelled. Since everyone's attention had already been turned to her, all of the heads in the room snapped away from her direction, pretending to be doing something else, most of their faces flushed from being caught. She was sure none of them thought they were being so obvious; too bad that's what Glee practically meant! "Oh no," she continued, standing up. "Please, don't let me stop you from gawking. I'm sure yesterday is all you can talk about, you mouth breathers!"

"Santana," Quinn said in a cautioning tone, glancing around at the other Glee kids and then back to Santana.

"No, just out with it, I'm not going to have myself be the subject of loser gossip."

"Out with what?" Tina asked meekly, and Artie shot her a look.

"Can you just be quiet? Do you like having her trigger ready like this? She'll kill us for sure!"

"Well she can't think we're that stupid," Rachel said from her seat at the front, turned around so she could see the rest of the Glee Club. "She's been working too hard for the Club lately. She's run down and caught a stomach bug. Happens to the best of us unfortunately," she said matter-of-factly, alluding to the week she lost her ability to hear pitch. That must have made her more sympathetic, because Santana wasn't sure what else would cause her to say that. A warning look from Quinn made her consider carefully what was happening. Rachel had just given her a way out of telling the Glee Club anything. So she took it, noting to be less of a bitch to Rachel the next time she felt like saying something harsh to her.

"Yeah. That's all it is," she agreed. "So you all can shut it." Brittany reached a hand out for Santana's, encouraging her to sit back down with a little tug. Santana did just that, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring straight ahead, ignoring the inquiring looks she knew Brittany was giving her, pushing off her hand when she reached for hers to hold in their usual fashion. She'd make it a point to make it up to her later, but her blood was running too hot to be nice right now.

The awkwardness was broken when Mr. Shue came in, excited about some new number or something, Santana wasn't sure because she wasn't listening. Her mind was not on singing or dancing today. Instead it was on the six pounds she'd gained over the past half week. Right after weigh-ins today she snuck away to the janitor's closet and made a phone call to 411, and they put her through to a Planned Parenthood. She made an appointment for that afternoon. Now she had less than an hour to go before she had to be there at the clinic. She hadn't told Quinn or Brittany, and didn't plan on telling them, either.

The people at the clinic had told her if she was early enough along, they'd just give her pills to take care of it. But first they would need to do an ultrasound. She supposed if she was too far along for the pills they'd make her have someone pick her up after the procedure. Then she'd call Brittany. Even if she couldn't drive, they'd figure something out. Or Puck. She had guessed that if the pregnancy was ten weeks old, it could be Finn's. There was a gap in time between the last time she'd slept with Puck and when she'd slept with Finn. But there'd been no gap since after Finn... If she remembered well enough it was the next day they slept together. After such an ego let down ("_I didn't feel anything_") she'd needed something to boost her sexual confidence slightly. But she was sure it was Puck's. It only made sense. Besides, if she was that far along she'd be showing or something, she was positive. It was definitely Puck's. If she had done the math better earlier, she would never have had to tell Quinn about how she took Finn's virginity. Her guess when she'd said they'd slept together a month ago was wrong. She scowled harder, angry at herself. Wasn't that just lovely. Not that she would tell either of the boys, no matter whose it was. But it would be nice to know, she supposed, for knowing's sake.

She was suddenly relieved it was Puck's. It would be easier to live with herself if the baby was his. It's not like they could ever be together seriously. She knew how much of a player he was, and how he liked to cheat. She'd BEEN one of the girls who he'd cheated on his girlfriend's with, so she knew very well his habits and inability to remain monogamous. So in her mind this cemented the resolve that it was Puck's. If it were Finn's... Well Finn is just too much of a baby himself. No matter what they had done, he still had the swagger of a virgin, and it was still exhausting to look at him. She didn't get how any man could be truly happy with a complete lack of sex in their lives. Then there was that thing with Rachel... She knew he loved _her_. And despite this Jesse kid, she knew Rachel loved Finn back. Or would, eventually, when she came to her senses. So in a way, it was good for Finn too, despite the fact that he would probably make a good dad. She remembered how hard it was on him when he thought Quinn's baby was his. She may not actually _like_ like the guy, but she felt that she owed it to him not to mess up his life any more than it had already been. It'd been a mistake for them to sleep together in the first place. She saw that now. She was most definitely making the right choice.

The rest of Glee Club passed by rather quickly, and before she knew it it was time for her to go. She made some stupid excuse she didn't really realize she was making and left, leaving Brittany behind, confused. They always left Glee together. But something in Santana's expression made her decide not to question it right now, and she watched her friend leave with a furrow in her brow. At the doorway Santana paused and looked over her shoulder, giving Brittany a strained (and fake) smile and a little wave good-bye. She caught Quinn's eye for a moment, and then left the choir room, a little less menacing than usual as she walked down the halls of the school. She went to the locker room and changed out of her Cheerio's uniform and into street clothes, a simple purple t-shirt and jeans. She was sure being out of her uniform would make it hard for anyone to realize who she was. Finally she left the school. She took a bus the eight miles to the Planned Parenthood, and stood looking at a small sign in the corner of the door to the building for a few minutes.

"**Use rear entrance**"

She frowned but did as the sign said, walking around to the back. She expected protesters or picketers, or something... But there was nothing. It was calm and quiet all around her. She straightened her back, tugged her shirt down a bit, and walked into a small room with a receptionist's desk behind a glass window, and another door off to the right. She was greeted by the large woman sitting at the desk behind the window. She was asked to hand over her cellphone, which she did. Then a security guard went over her with a metal detecting wand. He gave her the clear and she was let into the clinic. She was a bit puzzled as to why there was that much fuss over getting into this place. Then she remembered where she was. Of course they'd be careful, they probably got bomb threats constantly. Once inside she saw another receptionist, and went up to her.

"Name?" the woman asked, not looking up from her computer.

"Santana Lopez," Santana answered in a quiet voice. She was sure no one she knew would be here, but just in case she wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible. She was given a clipboard with some paperwork to fill out, and sat down in a corner with it. The atmosphere was decidedly thick... The place reeked of despair and depression. A quick glance around her revealed four other girls waiting, one with what might be her boyfriend, one with her mother, and two alone. The one with her mom couldn't have been more than thirteen or fourteen, Santana guessed. She couldn't tell if any were actually there for abortions, since Planned Parenthood also gave out birth control. When the one girl's man friend accidentally met her eyes, she quickly looked away and finished filling out some of the most ridiculous questions she'd ever answered, not looking up again until she was done. When she had returned the completed pages, the receptionist simply nodded at her, gesturing towards a door. A nurse met her and took her blood, weighed her, took her temperature, and wrote down her height. As soon as she got back into the waiting area, the receptionist beckoned her over, and pointed to yet another door.

"Go ahead and go back to exam room three. Someone will be with you shortly, hun." Santana grimaced at being called hun by someone she barely knew, but said nothing and went through the door, found the room with a big 3 on it's sign, and sat down on the exam table. It was uncomfortable (and why wouldn't it be) so she shifted around the entire time she waited. She let her mind remain blank. She wasn't going to take the chance she'd cut and run if she gave this too much thought. So she didn't think at all, instead focusing on the impossible task of getting comfortable on the hard, plastic-y exam table. It wasn't long before someone knocked on the door, and without waiting for a reply from Santana, came in.

"Santana Lopez?" the short woman asked her. She had short grey hair, and glasses. She had a kind face though, and that settled Santana's nerves slightly. She only just realized she felt nauseous, though she didn't know if it were morning sickness or the fact that she was about to have an abortion.

"Yes," she answered softly, pushing the thoughts away again. She didn't care. This was right. She was right.

"I'm Dr. Graham. Do you know how far along you are?"

"No. I don't."

"When was your last period?" Santana thought back; it was more than a year ago she was sure.

"I don't normally have one. I do cheerleading, it puts a lot of stress on my body. I just stopped having one." She'd found that out after her mother had taken her to a doctor seven months ago after she realized she wasn't buying tampons for her daughter anymore. It never bothered Santana.

"Ah. I see. I'm surprised your body was able to accomodate for a pregnancy," the doctor mused. Santana felt like rolling her eyes. She was surprised too, considering the many opportunities she'd had to get pregnant.

"Yeah." She tried hard to send off a "don't talk to me more than you have to" vibe. It seemed to work, because then the doctor got straight to the point.

"As I'm sure someone told you, our methods will be different depending on your length of gestation. We'll do an ultrasound and decide what would be best for you. But first I need you to talk to a friend of mine, a counselor, and there's a twenty four hour wait period before we can either administer the medication or get you ready for a procedure. All of your options will be discussed, and you can ask as many questions as you want, no matter what they are." The doctor's tone was warm and friendly, and she smiled nicely at Santana while she spoke. Santana couldn't muster up the effort to smile back.

"I don't have any questions," she said firmly. "I just want to get this over with. Can't we just do it today?" She was irritated she had to come back the next day. She had planned to just have this done and over with before dinner.

"I'm sorry hun," -there was that annoying term of endearment again- "But it's the law in Ohio. Everyone has to do it, no matter how sure they are." With that the doctor patted her on the knee, and then left, leaving Santana feeling a little bitter. This was her body, she knew what she wanted. She didn't want a baby. This was happening, no matter what anyone told her. Nothing would change her mind. She kept repeating these lines to herself, all through the counselor's talk with her, and any efforts the counselor made to make her open up. She was strong in her resolve. Once they were finished talking, the counselor left, telling her a technician would be in to do the ultrasound and handing her a gown to change into in the meantime. It sure seemed like everything happened fast in this place; the technician didn't come more than a few minutes after the counselor left, lugging a large ulstrasound machine. A regular hospital was never this fast, but she supposed in this business, every minute counted. And she was thankful, it was less time she had to keep refocusing her attention on something trivial and stupid, anything other than thinking of where she was at that moment.

The tech was small and spritely, very peppy, compared to everyone else, at least. She bubbled on about the gorgeous weather as Santana sat stony faced, waiting for her to get a move on.

"You want to just lay back here for a second, hun, and we can see how far along you are," the tech said in a chipper voice. Santana wondered if they taught all their employees to say "hun" or if it was just something these women did naturally. In some ways, the technician reminded Santana a lot of Brittany. She seemed to not realize where she was, acting so happily in a friggin' abortion clinic. Santana did as she was bade, and the tech pulled out stirrups for her feet and told her to put her feet in them and scrunch down, which she also did. She felt very exposed, but supposed this might be the easiest part of the whole thing; all she had to do was lie there. She mentally checked out anyway, turning her face away from both the technician and the machine. "This'll be uncomfortable," the tech warned, settling down on a stool between Santana's legs. Santana was only barely aware that there was anything going on. She buried herself further away from what was happening, not feeling the internal ultrasound wand or the hand palpating her abdomen. "Hmm," she heard the tech mumble.

"What?" she asked in a flat voice, not turning her head, staring at a spot on the wall on the other side of the room. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to be concerned or not.

"From your chart I wouldn't have guessed you to be this far along, is all," the tech said non-plussed. "You're almost out of your first trimester. And you're still having morning sickness?" Santana's eyes couldn't help but roam to the side where the tech's voice was coming from, straining to look at her face without turning her head at all. There was no way she wanted to even glance at the monitor screen. It would be too real then.

"What does that even mean?" She ignored the morning sickness comment for fear of looking stupid.

"You're about eleven weeks into your pregnancy."

"Okay. And what does _that_ mean?"

"You won't be able to take the pills, for one. You'll have to have a D&C most likely." Santana had done enough Googling the night before to know that was the scary option, the option that meant you'd have to have your uterus scraped. That did not sound like any sort of fun Santana was willing to have. "For two," the tech continued, "The fetus is very small for being how far along you are. Frankly it's kind of shocking you're even still carrying." Santana wasn't sure she was so shocked about that; she barely ate solids and for the past little while when she did, she threw up. She wasn't exactly the poster child for healthy diet habits. "You need to look at the screen," the tech said after a few long moments. Santana shook her head. No way. "I'm sorry," the tech started to say, voice soft. "But I'm required to make sure that you do, before we can move along any further. So you understand fully, and know..."

"I know what it is!" snapped Santana angrily. "I already know. I, like, wave the right to whatever. I'm done."

"Ms. Lopez, please." After a few long moments, Santana sighed.

"Seriously? I have to?"

"I'm afraid so." Santana slowly turned her head, just enough to where she could see the screen. The picture was shades of black, white, and grey. She had no idea what she was looking at, but the image throbbed, and moved. A tiny flicker in the middle of it all caught her attention.

"What... what is that?" she asked, pointing to the flickering spot, despite herself. She wished she hadn't asked, that she wasn't even curious. She wanted to look away. But she was unable to tear her eyes away from the throbbing, flickering image.

"That's the baby's heart," the technician said gingerly. She turned the monitor more towards Santana, and pointed to the dark spots. "This is the amniotic fluid, the water-y stuff the fetus lives in." She moved her finger to a lighter spot, the throbbing part. "This is the fetus. It's head is here," she explained, moving her finger over slightly.

"I...", Santana wasn't sure what she was going to say. She watched the image, watched the flicker of a heartbeat. Her hand moved over her own heart without realizing what she was doing. She could feel it plainly, beating wildly in her chest, feel it... _Bomp bomp bomp_... Pumping blood through her body, from her head to her toes, to the baby. _Bomp bomp bomp_. Her breathing was becoming shallower and more rapid, her hand rising and falling with her chest, her heart steadily thumping against it, harder, harder. Then something stupendous happened: her own heart beat in perfect rhythm to the flicker on the screen. Their hearts synced up. It only lasted for a few seconds but it was enough for Santana. "I want to go home," she choked out, tears standing in her eyes, still locked on the screen. "I want to go home now."

**A/N Part 2: Yeah. That was harder than I thought to write. Hopefully it came off as it should. I think in the next chapter it will explain a bit better what Santana was thinking exactly. Or as she might say, NOT thinking. If anyone gets where "bomp bomp bomp" came from, you get a cookie. :D Any comments or suggestions, feel free to drop me a line!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ask and ye shall recieve. Also I feel like I had to get this up because I am paranoid Santana is getting OOC. **

She didn't go straight home, though. She talked again to the doctor, who was just as nice as she'd been when she was planning to get the abortion, no more, no less. She gave Santana a bottle of prenatal vitamins, and prescribed her something for the nausea. She referred her to a women's clinic, and gave her a talking to about her weight. If she were serious about this pregnancy, she'd have to step it up. The doctor called her "high risk", but told her if she could change, it was probable her baby would be fine. Santana had meerly nodded, understanding but still a little in shock from her ordeal. She just wanted to get out of there. She was very much in true _shock_... She was feeling everything at once to the point it felt like nothing and she needed to go somewhere, far away, and just get away from it. Prescription in hand, she left the Planned Parenthood and walked a few blocks before realizing she was miles from home, and no buses were running any time soon. She whipped out her cellphone (retrieved from the first receptionist window) and was about to dial, but she remained with her eyes on her contact list. Her first instinct was to call her mom. But that wouldn't do. It was too much, too soon. She scrolled down the list and highlighted Quinn's name, and pressed call. Quinn picked up after two rings.

"Quinn, it's me. Can you come get me? I'm..." She looked around for something familiar, and it took a few seconds for her to find her bearings. "By the gas station on Maple Grove." She could barely think, everything was flooding over her. All of the choices she'd have to make now, what she'd just agreed to by walking out of that Planned Parenthood. She had freaked out, over what? A heartbeat? So what! _Bomp bomp bomp_, she could hear her heart throbbing in her ears, pulsing, taunting her. That baby had a heart beat. That baby, which was growing inside her. She heard it. She saw it there on that monitor, it was inside of her, with it's tiny heart, beating. "Oh god," she cried softly. It was real, it was all too real.

"_Santana are you okay?_" Quinn sounded anxious, calling to her friend through the phone. "_Santana? Santana?_ _Santana, answer me. Santana!_"

"I'm fine, Quinn, I'm sorry," Santana answered finally, snapping to. "Can you come?"

"_I'm already in the car. I'm coming. Hang on, okay?_" And then the line went dead over the phone. Santana crossed the street to the gas station, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a car in her stupor. She sat down on the side of the gas station, not really caring if anyone saw her or what it might look like she was doing. It wasn't long before Quinn was there for her. She parked her little car right by where Santana was sitting, and jumped out of the car almost before the engine cut off.

"Quinn," Santana said in monotone. Her face was virtually blank, with no hint of emotion at all.

"Oh Santana... You did it, didn't you?" Quinn asked quietly, squatting down as best as she could and sweeping a hand over Santana's cheek, absolutely not expecting a reply. And Santana didn't give one. She allowed herself to be hoisted up off of the ground, and she got into Quinn's car. Quinn took them to Brittany's house, since Quinn certainly wasn't taking Santana to Puck's house, and she had a feeling Santana didn't want to be home right now. She called Brittany and let her know they would be arriving shortly. They didn't speak the whole way there, Santana just stared out the window at the scenery passing. Quinn almost forgot what she looked like out of her Cheerios uniform, and was actually really surprised that she wasn't wearing it now. She tried to find a change in her friend, physically, some sign of the trauma her body had just went through. But she wasn't sure really what she was looking for. She gave up when Santana became subconciously aware of her sneaked glances and shifted her body to face the car door more. They got to Brittany's house soon enough, and Brittany ushered them inside and down into the family room.

"What happened?" Brittany asked, curling herself around Santana on the couch, her chin resting on her shoulder. Santana barely noticed Brittany's hands on her, one hand petting her hair and the other resting softly on her waist. Quinn sat off a little bit from them on the ottoman, watching the two interact. Santana never let people touch her like that, only Brittany was able to be so close and intimate with her. And so they sat, waiting for Santana to speak. When she didn't, Quinn scooted closer to them.

"Was it... awful?" Quinn's words were barely audible, but Santana heard her.

"I didn't do it. I couldn't," Santana said. "I just... it's heartbeat. It has one, you know." Brittany moved the hand that was on Santana's waist down to her lower stomach.

"Here," Brittany said simply. Santana nodded, her cheek brushing against Brittany's.

"There." The tide of thoughts and emotions had faded to a slow ebb, but she was still overwhelmed. "I should have just... done it."

"You did the right thing," Quinn told her. "I mean..." Quinn searched for the words. "I don't know."

"You don't know what?" Brittany asked, more used to being the one in the dark.

"I thought about it, too," Quinn said softly. She didn't move from her spot, but she leaned in closer. "It was only a few moments, but I thought about it. It would have been easier than this. It would have helped keep my life normal."

"Why didn't you?" Santana bored into her eyes. She wasn't sure if she was looking for reassurance or what, but this news sparked a tiny glimmer of hope in her.

"Because I knew it was a baby... from the start. I just couldn't fathom killing it." Brittany and Santana absorbed this for a few seconds. They knew that Quinn was religious, and that an abortion would have gotten Quinn killed in her house, and not just kicked out. But neither thought for a second she would have even entertained the thought. This was certainly news to them.

"That's not why I didn't do it," Santana said forcefully. Then her voice dropped again. "I don't know why I didn't do it. I don't know what I just did, by leaving that clinic. I could have been done with this, I could have gone back to how it was before. And now I can't go back there, and... It has a heartbeat. Like, an honest to god heartbeat," Santana whispered. Brittany and Quinn just stayed silent, waiting for their friend to finish her lament, listening with hearts breaking for her. "But I don't... I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to go through what I'm about to go through. I just want to close my eyes and wake up and have this all be a stupid dream!" Quinn moved closer still and laid a hand on Santana's knee.

"I can tell you, it's not a dream. And you're going to have to deal with whatever you decide, no matter what."

"Don't go back," Brittany said suddenly, her voice slightly alarmed, her hand pressing harder, inarguably in a protective manner against Santana's stomach. "I don't want them to hurt your hearts."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey! Here's a new chapter. We're getting the ball rolling rather quickly now. :D I had to break this into two chapters, so 6 and 7 are coming at you in the same night. Enjoy!**

That did it for Santana. Her best friend's childlike request had reached her, in the depths of her being, and she knew the option was out, permanently. It didn't pain her as she thought it would have. And if you'd told her two days ago that she'd be in this position, she'd have laughed in your face at the stupidity and obvious error in your thinking. And yet, here she was. The only thing to do was deal with it. She was not one to let matters sit around unresolved, she was definitely an aggressor, in all facets of her life.

After that she'd ended up going home after all. And within a matter of minutes of arriving there, it was out. She'd told her parents. They reacted as she thought they would: hurt, disappointed, and very condescending. Her mother had had her oldest brother when she was seventeen, and she always let her children how hard that was. Her mother cried, her father almost did, and they yelled, of course. This went on all night, periods of crying and wailing pitifully "How did we fail you, _mija_?" and shocked silence on her parents' part intermingled with bouts of screaming matches, and "Santana, you're supposed to be a smart girl! Think of what you've done to us! We raised you better than this!". But in the end they let her know they were there for her, and they would be as supportive as they could be. They weren't going to kick her out like Quinn's parents had, which Santana was grateful for but she was sure in the first place they would never be so cold and callous to their only daughter, no matter what mess she'd gotten herself into. She didn't bother telling them she almost had an abortion, that would only have crushed them further. That would be her, Brittany, and Quinn's secret.

When they asked why the father of her baby wasn't there with her, stepping up and taking responsibility, she stalled them. She was not going to admit she hadn't told him yet. She definitely was not going to tell them she didn't even know who the father was. They'd have killed her right then and there. She only told them that she thought this would be easier, coming from just her. And truthfully she couldn't have imagined that scene, or Finn or Puck coming out alive from the experience if either had taken part in telling them. She also told them that they had yet to tell his parents (which was the truth) but that she had plans to tell them soon (not the truth). She begged her parents to let them handle that aspect themselves, which they begrudgingly agreed to.

And the next day, she told Sue. Not in so many words... or even the exact words... in fact Sue didn't know she was pregnant at all. Santana was brave, but she knew Sue would tell everyone. She could squash the speculation and gossip from the other Cheerios easily, but wouldn't have been able to pass her pregnancy off as a rumor if Sue knew. But, she effectively quit the Cheerios at least. After seeing what happened to Quinn, she decided to end her stint as captain of the squad on her terms, not on Sue's. I mean, who was badass enough to quit the Cheerios when they were the friggin' head cheerleader? So she knew her Cool was safe, for now at least. She knew she could have gone on longer, probably another week or so before the weight gain was too obvious and she was put on a water diet, but it wasn't worth it. Besides, Nationals was over, they were done for the season. Santana wasn't so great with math, so she wasn't sure if she was going to be back for the next. She supposed there would be no time. And while that sucked (and it really, really sucked, Cheerios was a huge part of her life) she wasn't sure really what else could be done about it. Even she couldn't keep up the frantic schedule she was currently on lugging a baby belly around. And if she were going to avoid becoming a statistic, she'd need an education, and frankly, that needed a ton of work anyway. The thought of having to quit Glee crossed her mind once or twice, but each time she had a knot in her stomach and pushed it out of there as fast as she could think about something less horrifying. On one hand she hated how attached to that stupid club (and the stupid people in it, she admitted) but on the other, she enjoyed being a part of something that seemed so effortless, unlike the Cheerios. There were still practices and everything, but the work wasn't backbreaking, and it was actually fun. She wasn't happy with the prospect of having to leave what was still most definitely the best part of her day. So she didn't entertain the thought for long. She was Santana Lopez, she could work it out. Regionals was the next day, anyway. She was able to shove past everything that was happening and put on her show face, going in with a competetive and winning attitude.

* * *

Defeat was crushing. That's what Sue had told her, albeit being on the Cheerios never offered the chance to experience it. Now sitting on the bus after placing second at Regionals, Santana felt like she knew what that saying meant. There wasn't a smiling face in the bunch. All of the Glee Club members sat, somber and still. Their vivacious group was reduced to blank faces and, with no shame admitting it, tears galore. They'd worked so hard... They didn't straight up lose, but coming in second just seemed so unfair after all they'd had to put up with, all of the obstacles they'd had to overcome to reach this place in their lives. And for what, to lose? Rachel was crying freely at the front of the bus, Finn holding her for once not out of pity but empathy. Puck was laying down in the last two seats of the bus. Mercedes and Kurt sat together, looking forlornly out of the bus window. Mike and Matt were listening to their iPods, intent to just forget the whole thing ever happened. Tina was leaned over the back of her seat, whispering quietly to Artie, who had his eyes closed, head leaning against the side of the bus. Quinn and Brittany sat across from Santana, who was in front of Tina. Santana had her legs stretched out across the aisle, her feet resting on Brittany's legs. She never thought winning some stupid singing competition would mean so much to her. After she'd quit Cheerios, this was all she'd had left, and she failed. So much for her Cool, it was certainly gone after this escapade.

"I just don't understand," Rachel said through her sobs. "We were great. We were stupendous. And we lost!" Finn hugged her closer and whispered comforting words to her as her tears picked up with renewed relish. Mr. Shue stood up, despite the moving bus. He addressed the team as a whole, knowing they all felt how Rachel did, even if they weren't quite that dramatic.

"Guys, I know this was a disappointment. I'm not going to lie, I'm disappointed, too," he told them, looking from face to face. "But you know what? We shouldn't let this get us down. We should be proud. Look what we've done here! We've thrown together the most rag-tag group I've ever seen at McKinley High, and made it to Regionals. I remember when it was just the five of you guys, struggling to even make up the Glee Club. And now look, your group is now twelve members strong!" Brittany raised her hand, eliciting a small groan from half of the kids on the bus. Mr. Shue looked at Brittany with an eyebrow raised, and sighed. "Yes, Brittany?"

"You mean fourteen."

"Brittany, there's only twelve of us, toots," Mercedes said gently, as if she were talking to a child. Santana sat up straight in alarm, her eyes staring daggers at Brittany to hide her sudden alertness. Her stomach started to churn, and the urge to puke was strong. No... She couldn't be that dumb. Brittany shook her head.

"No, fourteen. You forgot Quinn and Santana's babies." And there it was. The single most revealing, stupid, retarded thing to ever come out of Brittany's mouth. Santana's eyes flew open wide and she felt frozen there, still staring at Brittany in complete horror. Quinn was shooting her a look as well, although less subtle, and that was saying something. Brittany didn't seem to take any notice, obviously pleased with her recent accomplishments in the math department as she smiled, oblivious.

"Um... what?" Puck finally said, sitting up from where he had been laying, pretending not to care. He stared at Santana and mouthed "What the fuck?" silently. Santana could only blink in response. This wasn't happening. That didn't just happen. She was imagining, clearly. There was no way that Brittany had just told the entire Glee Club, one of her teachers, and some random bus driver that she was pregnant. Not even she was that dumb.

"I'm going to second that motion," Kurt said. He was looking perplexed at Santana, and Mercedes looked slightly amused but still awed.

"Santana is pregnant?" Tina asked, now turned around facing Santana, where all the drama was surely about to erupt from. "Like seriously?"

"No way! No FRIGGIN WAY did I get TWO girls pregnant in High School!" Puck yelled. Brittany slowly realized what she had done, and looked at Santana apologetically, her mouth open wide in the horribleness of what she'd actually said. And then it was mass chaos, words blurting forth from every direction around Santana.

"I'm sorry, through my own despair I must have heard wrong. Santana's pregnant?" Rachel said, tears forgotten. Finn looked ashen faced, clutching Rachel to him still, now using her for support as opposed to the other way around.

"Brittany, are you sure?" Artie questioned, believing it was quite possible that Brittany was mistaken. It was Brittany, after all.

"It was bound to happen," Mercedes said smugly. Santana would have to remember to beat that heifer down the first chance she got.

"Is it mine?" Matt asked, leaning over his seat towards Santana, a frown on his face. Sadly (and duly noted by all the kids on the bus) he was serious.

"Or mine?" Kurt asked with a little tinkle in his voice. No one laughed. Sure later they would, but right now it was too shocking of a situation to even think of laughing. Santana sank down slowly in her seat, pulling her legs towards her and curling up. She had nothing to say, nothing to defend herself with. She could try denying it, but honestly how far would that get her? The truth would eventually came out anyway. She just wish it hadn't been like this. The questions and statements began to overlap eachother so much that Santana couldn't make out any words at all.

"Guys that's enough!" Quinn said loudly, sitting up on her knees so she appeared taller and could see everyone on the bus better. "Just shut up! Shut up!"

"No you shut up!" Santana found herself yelling. She had risen from the fetal position and now was sitting up straight, pulling herself up even higher than normal. She was Santana. She didn't shirk from a little confrontation. She glared at Brittany hard and swooped what she hoped was a fierce gaze over the entire bus. "You all just shut the fuck up! Who are you to judge me? Why don't you just shut up! So what?"

"Santana, calm down," Mr. Shue said softly, making his way down the bus aisle, careful not to fall as the bus was still in motion.

"No, I'm not going to calm down! This is bullshit! I've been perfect, I've been everything they wish they could be, and one mistake and suddenly _I'm _the loser?" Santana took a deep breath as she let the tears fall unabashedly. She hadn't realized she'd been screaming the words. Brittany got up from her seat and sat down next to Santana, and attempted to pull her into her arms. "No!" Santana sobbed, pushing her friend away. "I can't believe you did that! I can't believe you told them! I'm supposed to be your best friend! How could you do that to me?"

"I-I-I'm s-sorry," Brittany stammered, unsure of what to do or say. She'd never crossed Santana before; this was all new to her. "You know I'm not that smart, Santana, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to! I'm still your best friend!"

"Everyone's right, you're just a blonde retard!" Santana spat, shoving Brittany effectively out of her seat and onto the floor. Brittany looked up at her friend, too stunned to speak. Her lip quivered and she looked as if she was about to cry. But Santana didn't feel bad. For once Brittany was just like the others, not someone to be protected and guarded.

"Santana that's enough!" Mr. Shue yelled, finally reaching her row on the bus. He helped Brittany back into the seat with Quinn and stooped over Santana, his blue eyes meeting her dark ones at an almost equal height. "Calm down." Her chest was heaving, and eyes wet with emotion. But she listened, taking a few moments to breathe deeper and slower. He looked at all the rest of the Glee club. "You guys too. Let's just discuss this, and maintain a decent volume level, okay? Why don't you all think about someone other than yourselves for once? Think about what this means for Santana. I didn't see anyone jumping on Quinn's case when you all found out she was pregnant." Tina leaned over the front of her seat and bit her lip.

"Santana are you okay?" she asked carefully, not wanting a fist to suddenly come flying at her face.

"What do you care!" Santana growled. She wasn't going to be lulled into a false sense of security just because Mr. Shue gave some half-assed speech.

"Santana, we do care," Artie said. He didn't have to strain to see Santana's face clearly; she was still sitting up high and mighty. "We're obviously not that good at showing it..." A slow look around the bus revealed most of the Glee club was looking away from Santana, embarrassed. "But we do care. You're part of our team."

"And a good part," Kurt added, although even he hated to admit it.

"That's right. And being a part of this team means you're a part of this family," Mr. Shue said. "A weird, wacky, family who don't always get along, or see eye to eye, but deep down, we have each other's backs. We have to, to make this work like it does."

"Mr. Shue's right. Look at how you treat me," Quinn spoke up, talking to the whole team. She had quickly gotten over Santana yelling at her; it's not like it hadn't happened before, and at least Santana had a real reason tonight. "I was a witch with a capital B to all of you. For a long, long time. And you guys were still there for me when I got kicked off the Cheerios, out of my house... And I can honestly say you guys are some of the best friends I've ever had. It may have taken me a long time to realize that, but it's the truth. And I'm proud to be a part of this family." There were murmers of agreement throughout the bus. Santana was still not so sure about all of this, but they were right in a weird way. They had never shown outright malevolence to her, no matter what she'd done. Not even when she was a spy for Sue, they didn't come down on her then. Maybe if she let them in, it wouldn't be such a bad thing. If she let them be there for...

"I'm sorry, I'm not going to sit here and play Partridge Family with the lot of you," Puck said suddenly, interuppting Santana's thoughts. He stood up and looked her up and down, his eyes sweeping her body slowly. "Who's the dad?" Quinn looked as if she was about to say something to aid Santana, but Santana didn't let her. She was already in this mess, she might as well get it all out at once.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Puck asked angrily.

"It's either yours, or Finn's," she said slowly. She knew that was the absolute worst thing to say right now, that it would hurt Rachel and Finn himself. They'd already had a low blow today. She was glad then that she did end up telling Quinn already. Quinn was past it, as much as she had any right to be upset in the first place. Quickly she snapped to. _She_ was the one with the real hardship right now, not that Cabbage-Patch doll or Jew-Face. Her face set itself into a scowl almost naturally. There were many gasps and exclaimations from her fellow Glee clubbers, and Matt looked visibly relieved.

"You whore! You tramped out hussy!" Rachel practically leapt out of her seat towards Santana, face ablaze with anger. Suddenly her face softened, shaking her head in Santana's direction. "No. I should have expected this from _you_," she said coldly. She turned to Finn, who was looking quite green at this point. "But you. You told me you didn't do anything with her. You lied to me, blatantly lied to my face."

"You slept with that Jesse kid! And you knew I had feelings for you," Finn retorted with just as much venom, scowling.

"We all knew that," Mercedes commented.

"I didn't sleep with Jesse," Rachel admitted. "I just told you that to make you jealous."

"Why are all of you girls so crazy?" Artie mumbled to himself, although everyone heard him.

"Wait. You slept with my girlfriend? And possibly got her pregnant?" Puck was livid by now, this entire revelation was too much for him. In his own mind he was too much of a stud for anyone to cheat on him, no matter how much he personally slept around.

"I wasn't your girlfriend!" Santana yelled, her first sentence after Rachel called her a whore. Surely it was warranted, she supposed, but it still stung like a bitch to hear. No one had the juice to say it to her face, even if it was the consensus around school to begin with.

"Well how nice is that! That's like the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it, Puck?" Finn said with uncharacteristic snark. "It's as if you've forgotten you knocked up my girlfriend. And I was actually _dating_ her!"

"Oh. Yeah. I guess I forgot about that." Puck sucked his teeth and took a deep breath.

"What kind of messed up family impregnates each other's girlfriends?" Kurt lamented with a sigh.

"And Puck you've tried to get with every girl in Glee Club except for Tina," Mercedes added. Tina blushed at the acknowledgement.

"Yeah but I didn't get them _all _pregnant," Puck argued lamely.

"Seriously?" Quinn said with a roll of her eyes.

"Stop the bus," Mr. Shue called up to the bus driver. The bus driver had no qualms with this at all after all of the yelling, and pulled over on the side of the road. It didn't seem to matter that they were in the middle of nowhere and it was pitch dark outside.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Nananana! Here's the continuation of that last chapter for you. Starting AND ending on dialogue is one of my biggest pet peeves, but here it is. *sighs* Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

"Is this really safe, Mr. Shue?" Matt asked, swallowing nervously. "I mean this is how ninety percent of horror movies start."

"The kind where everyone dies," Mike added. Mr. Shue ignored them.

"I need everyone off this bus. Except for you, Mike and Matt. And you, Rachel. And you Kurt and Mercedes. And you, Quinn, Brittany, Tina, and Artie." Santana, Puck, and Finn looked at Mr. Shue like he was crazy. He simply shook his head.

"Go on. This is obviously not a subject that needs to be discussed with everyone in earshot. Take it off the bus. We'll all be fine waiting here until you're done." When none of the three moved he urged them again. "Go." Hesitantly Finn got up from his seat (squeezing past Rachel, who didn't bother to move for him) and waited at the door for it to open. Puck followed next, and he grabbed Santana's wrist as he stormed past her seat, pulling her up and into the aisle.

"Puck!" Quinn, Mercedes, and Mr. Shue yelled in unison. Santana yanked back her arm angrily.

"I can walk." She fixed her skirt and absentmindedly ran her fingers over her hair to smooth whatever flyaways had occured during Puck's manhandling. But she didn't say anything further to him about it, and probably wouldn't. He was mad, and she understood that. It's a wonder neither of them hauled off and hit her in the first place.  
The driver opened the door, and the three of them walked off the bus. Santana stumbled slightly as she stepped onto the ground, and neither boy reached out a hand to steady her. She pretended not to notice. Once they were off of the bus they stepped away a little, but not too far. It was eerily quiet out there on the side of the road; no cars passed the stopped bus. It was creepy and frankly made Santana frightened, but she didn't show it. She folded her arms over chest and stood, waiting. She didn't have to wait long before Finn spoke.

"I'm just going to say it. How are we supposed to believe you?"

"Why in hell would I lie about being pregnant?" Santana scowled. She was not the type of girl to lie for attention, especially not this kind of obviously unwanted attention.

"He means about one of us being the dad," Puck explained. "And he's right. We all know you sleep around."

"With you, okay? I slept around with _you_, while you cheated on every girlfriend you've ever had," Santana corrected him. "Don't act like I'm on trial here."

"You kind of are. You can't just tell us it's one of us when it could be anyone," Finn said. Santana glared at him. He was being abnormally assertive tonight and she did not dig it. It was not a good look for him, she decided, ranking right up there with being studly or good in bed.

"It couldn't be _anyone_. It's you, or Puck. That's it. You two are the only ones I slept with around the time this baby was concieved." Finn looked like he was doing some heavy thinking. Also something that did not look good on him.

"How far are you? We had sex over two months ago," Finn said skeptically, having done the math in his head.

"Eleven weeks," she answered.

"You've been to the doctor?" Puck asked in a mildly concerned voice. He quickly masked whatever he was feeling with an attempt at being macho. "I'm not paying for that visit if you can't prove it's mine. I'm already hustling my ass off to pay for Quinn's kid."

"God, Puck. I'm not asking either of you for money. My dad's a lawyer, and my parents support me. I don't need your damn money, okay?" It felt good to at least not be in that situation like Quinn was... Having to pay for everything herself, having to move out of her home and live with her baby's father.

"What are you doing with it?" Finn asked hesitantly. If it was his and Santana was getting rid of it he couldn't say for sure that he'd feel bad.

"I'm keeping it." Finn remembered Quinn saying those same words, but she'd been much more forceful than Santana had been, which kind of surprised him.

"And giving it up for adoption? Or raising it?" Puck asked. Honestly she was positive her parents would never allow her to give the baby up. It would be something that would be dealt with internally, within the family. They'd more or less told her that when she'd informed them of her pregnancy.

"Raising it, I guess." She wasn't sure how either boy would feel about that little newsflash but she guessed it wouldn't be all sunshine and smiley faces.

"If you're doing that then we need to know before the kid gets here whose it is," Puck said.

"I hate to agree with Puck, but he's right. I don't know about him but if _this _kid turns out to be mine, I'm going to take care of it." Finn felt awkward being in Puck's corner on any subject, but went with it.

"Yeah same here. If it's mine I want to be a part of it's life."

"But not mine," Santana added, knowing what they were thinking of saying but didn't have the balls to say. "Neither of you. And that's fine, whatever."

"Look we don't need to talk about it right now, okay? We don't have to worry about it until we find out whose it is," Finn said, breaking the tension.

"How do we do that?" Puck asked, letting his gaze rest on Santana's abdomen. Santana shifted her body and held her arms further down her body to block his view. She wasn't some freak to be stared at.

"I don't know but we can Google it or something," Finn said flippantly. He looked back towards the bus. "Is this settled enough that we can get on our way home?"

"There's really nothing else to talk about until we know whose it is," Puck agreed. He looked Santana in the eyes. "You cool?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever," she replied cooly, walking towards the bus. She was just glad that was out of the way. She was not looking forward to the talk that would come after they found out who the baby belonged to. Or really any talks that would surely crop up after this harrowing night. The door swung open and the three of them got settled back in their seats. Much to Santana's relief, most everyone else besides Mr. Shue, Quinn, and Artie were sleeping, tired from the loss and drama combined.

"Everything good?" Mr. Shue asked them, eyeing them all warily as if he expected they really didn't talk about anything. He let his gaze rest on Santana for a few seconds longer. "You're okay?"

"We've got it under control, Mr. Shue," Finn said. He didn't take his seat next to Rachel, as she was slumped over most of it, and he sure as hell didn't want to have any more commotion tonight by waking her, as surely she'd want to talk. Puck simply nodded his chin at Mr. Shue and went back to the back of the bus and promptly laid back down. Mr. Shue caught Santana's hand as she walked by him, and he questioned her with his eyes again.

"I'm fine," she said, forcing herself to sound that way. She saw Mr. Shue glancing at the bruise that was beginning to form on her wrist from where Puck had grabbed her. "Seriously."

"Santana, if you ever need anything, you know you can come to me, okay?"

"I know, Mr. Shue. Thanks." With that Mr. Shue dropped her hand and let her continue back to her seat. The bus roared to life again and was on it's way back to Lima, all of it's cargo onboard once again. Quinn was still awake, sitting on the aisle side of the seat she still shared with Brittany, who was sleeping in what had to be an uncomfortable position. Her head and neck were slumped down against her chest, pressed against the window of the bus. Santana frowned slightly as she sat down, watching Brittany. She remembered what she'd said to Brittany, how she shoved her. She wished that the blonde girl was awake so she could apologize, maybe not directly, but in her Santana way.

"How'd they take it?" Quinn asked in a whisper, bringing Santana's attention away from Brittany's sleeping form.

"As well as could be expected I guess. We're going to have to find a way to tell who the baby's dad is before it's born before the shit really starts hitting the fan." Quinn nodded, and followed Santana's eyeline, which despite herself had come to rest on Brittany again.

"You should sit with her," Quinn said, getting up with some effort and switching seats with Santana before she could protest. Santana couldn't take looking at Brittany sleeping like that for another moment. She gingerly moved Brittany around so that she was less folded in on herself. Brittany half-awoke, looking groggily around her, trying to figure out why she was being jostled. When she saw Santana, she smiled faintly and leaned into her, laying her head on the other girl's chest.

"Santana, I'm sorry," Brittany murmered, still mostly asleep. Santana rested her chin on the top of Brittany's hair and breathed in her scent. Strawberries.

"No, baby. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you," Santana whispered softly into the dark, moving a stray lock of blonde hair back behind Brittany's ear. Brittany snuggled in closer, her face rubbing against the fabric of Santana's shirt.

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. You were just being Mean Santana," she said dreamily. After a few seconds, Santana was sure she had fallen back asleep, judging from the depth of her breathing. Brittany had used their code name for when Santana was being an outright bitch. It wasn't much of a code, but it worked for them. Mean Santana. Santana let herself wonder how she would keep up with being the head bitch in charge with all of this pregnancy nonsense going on. She saw how soft Quinn had gotten... although it seemed to suit her well, much better than being a bitch ever did. She wasn't sure it would work the same way for her. She didn't want to be soft... Soft people were doomed to failure, always walking around getting hurt and allowing it by not having a backbone. No, she wouldn't become that, no matter what happened. She'd fight whatever hormonal changes this baby brought vehemently.

The bus ride ended two hours later, and everyone was roused by Mr. Shue's voice telling them they had made it home. It was around midnight, and there were parents waiting to pick up the kids who didn't drive, Santana being one of them. She made no move to untangle herself from Brittany, who by now was laying underneath the smaller girl, roles of protector (even if in sleep) reversed for once. Quinn poked her in the side gently, prodding her to get up. With a groan she sat up, and pulled Brittany up with her, waking her almost instantly. Before any of them could actually make it off the bus, Finn was standing at the front, blocking anyone from exiting. Santana grimaced at him with contempt. This night was already long enough, what the hell was he thinking standing in the way of all of them finally going home?

"I know we all just want to get out of here, but I have to make you guys promise something," Finn said, unsure of himself.

"Oh my god, what? What else could there possibly be for you to say?" Rachel was obviously a little more than perturbed with Finn still.

"Would you just be quiet? For two seconds, that's all I'm asking," Finn replied. He turned away from Rachel and faced the rest of the bus. "What happened on this bus needs to say here. We've only got a month left of school before summer vacation starts. There's no need for this-" he motioned to Santana with a noncomittal wave of his hand "-to get around. I'm sure we can all manage to keep our mouths shut for four weeks."

"Who are we kidding, with this group it'll be all the school can talk about by tomorrow morning," Puck said roughly.

"No, it won't," Kurt retorted. He too addressed the entire bus. "Everyone raise your right hand." No one even looked to make sure Brittany had raised the correct hand this time, they knew she wouldn't make another SNAFU like she had earlier that night. "Repeat after me: I promise that I'll not speak a word of this ludicrous event to any member outside of this Glee Club. Under penalty of a ban from the club." No one argued if Kurt really had the power to make a consequence like that, but they went with it anyway, each repeating the lines exactly as spoken. "I think we should be okay now." He winked at Finn, causing the tall jock to look slightly mortified.

"Okay then." With that out of the way, they all got off the bus and went on their respective ways. Santana's mother was there to pick her and Quinn and Brittany up and take them back to her house. She greeted them with a wave from where she stood, leaning against her parked SUV in her pajamas.

"Hi girls!" she called brightly. Santana stopped herself from rolling her eyes. Her mother was really nothing like her in her mannerisms; she was too nice, and Santana would never wear pajamas out of the house. Her mother took the three girls into her arms as best as she could, enveloping them in a tight embrace. "Listen, I heard what happened. You guys still did a great job, I'm sure of it." None of the girls replied, instead looking at the ground. Santana's mom reached for her chin and angled her daughter's face up at her own. "Something else happen, _mija_?" she asked, concern etched into her features.

"The whole Glee Club knows, Mama."

"About...?" She posed the question as if she already knew the answer.

"Yeah," Santana answered, looking away to the left, towards the parking lot. She had no desire to look at her mom, because her mom would automatically see how much it'd hurt her. Santana's mother clicked her tongue and kissed her daughter's forehead lightly. She knew and didn't even need to look into Santana's eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. It was bound to happen sooner or later. But they're your friends, right, they're supportive of you, eh _mija_?" Santana thought about it for a few seconds before nodding her head against her mother's hand.

"Yeah..."

"That's a good thing then. Come on, girls, let's go home."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N So here's the next chapter! It's kindy fluffy but I figured we'd need it, since this is sandwiched between drama-filled chapters. Yep, you read right, next chapter the angst monster rears it's ugly yet fascinating head. **

Later that night, after Brittany and Quinn had fallen fast asleep in her bed, Santana quietly crept out of her window and onto the roof of her house. It'd been a long time since she'd done it, but she remembered the peace she'd felt when she was younger, just staring up at the night sky. It was the entire reason she'd never teased Brittany for having her glow in the dark stars still; even the fake stars soothed her. She was hoping to recapture that feeling tonight, as she was in dire need of some sort of tranquility. The last three days had been tumultuous.

First, she found out she was pregnant. Then she'd walked into an abortion clinic, all by her lonesome and with every intention of _having_ an abortion, and came out still pregnant. Then she'd told her parents, who while they were shocked, at least they weren't barbaric or cruel, and in hindsight were actually being pretty decent about the whole ordeal. While it was easier than she thought it would be, it didn't change the fact that it'd been hard and stressful.  
Then she'd quit the Cheerios, something she would probably always live with regretting deep inside. That's who she was up until two days ago: a Cheerio, who sang in the Glee Club for fun. That was her true passion... Sure it'd fallen off of it's path somehow with all of Sue's madness, but she had loved it, and it was her entire being for two years of her life. Suddenly she was just the girl in Glee Club, secretly clinging to that little bit of normalcy. And then she'd horribly failed in that department, losing at Regionals. And then... yes, the list went on and on. The bus ride home had brought the devastation level of Santana's life up to a seven at least. She'd been called a whore and a liar, she'd been completely awful to her best friend. Even though everything seemed to be okay for now, it was a lot to process and she needed these few moments to herself to properly wrap her mind around all that had occurred.

She scooted close to the edge of the roof, and let her legs dangle off the edge. She leaned back onto her elbows, and tilted her head back, basking in the moonlight. The night was abnormally dark... the moon was nonexistant and she could barely see past her own roof. It was kind of neat. She turned her attention to the stars above her. Other people felt smaller when looking up at the stars, like they didn't matter in the grand scheme of the universe. But the stars didn't have that affect on her. Instead they made her feel warm all over, safe, and secure. When she looked at the stars, she was sure of herself and of her life, like nothing could touch her. She couldn't explain why, they just did, ever since she was a little girl. Turns out she wasn't thinking about much of anything after all; she was just relishing the quiet and the still of the night, and enjoying the feeling the stars allowed her to feel for the first time in a long time. Maybe that was better though, than thinking about it. She laid down all the way and put her hands behind her head, reveling.

Her rooftop adventure was in danger of being cut short when she heard someone clear their throat behind her. She didn't bother to turn and see who it was, instead letting them announce their presence.

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" Brittany whispered with her head hanging out of the window, afraid of waking Santana's parents. She crawled through the window regardless and sat down crosslegged next to Santana.

"Just looking at the stars," Santana whispered back. She had no fear of her parents waking, she'd done this many times before with no issue. Without thinking her moved over slightly and put her head in Brittany's lap. Automatically Brittany ran her fingers through her dark hair, working out any tiny tangles they ran across.

"Oh." They remained that way for quite some time before Brittany stirred, disturbing Santana's peaceful haze she was in. "Let's go back to bed," the blonde suggested. Santana didn't think it sounded as tempting as remaining where they were now, but it wasn't a bad idea either considering the fact that she did feel tired. So she agreed because she was sure Brittany was exhausted and she didn't want to keep her up any more than she needed to be.

"Good idea, Britt." They went back inside through the window, and very carefully got back into bed, trying not to wake Quinn. Santana's queen sized bed seemed so much smaller than it usually did, probably because of Quinn's huge baby belly and the fact that Quinn had to sleep with a body pillow almost twice her pre-pregnancy size. Despite their attempts to return to bed inconspicuously, as soon as Santana slipped back under the covers Quinn sat up on one elbow and looked at them both, her eyes heavy with sleep.

"Where were you guys?" she managed to ask.

"Just on the roof," Brittany told her simply, snuggling down into her pillow and closing her eyes.

"Is that safe?" Quinn questioned slowly. She was still in a sleepy daze so she wasn't as quick as normal. Santana lightly pushed her shoulder to indicate that she should just lay back down, and she did without a pause.

"It's just a roof; we're only one story up," Santana whispered, knowing that Quinn would fall back to sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. And sure enough she did. Even though Santana felt tired, she couldn't fall asleep. While she felt better, she really had gotten nothing accomplished as far as figuring this mess that was her life out. She tossed and turned as much as she was able to with Quinn and Brittany in the bed with her.

"Santana," Brittany grumbled, eyes still closed. "Stop flopping and go to sleep."

"I can't, Britt. There's too much going on in my mind."

"If you think, it'll just hurt," Brittany told her, although it was muffled through her pillow. Santana suppressed a laugh. She was sure for Brittany that was true. Thinking was never her strong suit. She slipped out of bed and creeped to her bedroom door.

"I'll be back," she whispered into the dark, just in case either of her friends were awake. She then crept downstairs and knocked on her brother's door. "Hendrix," she called softly.

"Ugh, what?" she heard Hendrix say in an irritated voice. Without saying anything else she opened the door and tiptoed to his bedside.

"I can't sleep." Her big brother sat up on one elbow and even though it was dark and she couldn't see his face, she could feel that he wasn't entirely happy to be woken up. He probably had to work early in the morning like usual. To her surprise, he spoke to her in a gentle voice.

"Did you try the stars?"

"Didn't work," she told him, not surprised that he knew about her rooftop habit.

"Why not, San? Do you need to talk?" he asked. She heard him pat the bed, so she sat down.

"My head is just too full to sleep with all of this baby stuff," she told him. He reached over and flipped the switch on his nightstand lamp. They both squinted at the sudden flood of light. He gingerly sat up the rest of the way and scratched his head sleepily.

"That reminds me, I have something for you," he said, his voice raspy with sleep. "Over by my desk. It's a big box, you can't miss it." Santana gave him an odd look but went over to the desk and found the box easily. Automatically she could tell it was a bassinet, from the picture on the box. She looked back at her brother, confused but interested. He had already swung his legs over the side of the bed, and proceeded to put on sweatpants over the boxers he slept in. "Want to help me with it?"

A few minutes later they were out in the livingroom, both of them hard at work assembling the bassinet. Well, it was mostly Hendrix doing the work, but Santana helped as she could, turning screws and reading directions out loud for him. They mostly went about their business in silence, the only speaking revolved around the task at hand. Whether that was because it was the dead of night or for other reasons, Santana wasn't sure. Neither of her elder brothers had really spoken to her about her situation. She knew her parents had told them, probably the same day she'd told them themselves. She had expected her brothers to be angry with her, or smug... Not just nothing. But when Hendrix showed her the bassinet he'd bought for her, and asked her to help him assemble it, she readily agreed and was grateful to him. She knew he was busy... at twenty he had a lot on his plate, going to school full time and working a full time job on top of that. He was barely home, which made this time more special, even if they should have been sleeping. If only he was really talking _to_ her instead of just _at_ her. She thought maybe she'd have to be the one to start the dialogue though.

"Hendrix..." she started to say. "What made you do this?"

"The bassinet you mean?" he asked, gesturing to the pieces laying all around them. "I'm not sure now!" He laughed and reached for the screwdriver, which lay closer to Santana. She handed it to him and he began to put two pieces of the frame together.

"No I mean... Why did you get me it in the first place?" She played with the drawstring on her pajama shorts, keeping her eyes on her fingers as they entertwined with the light blue string. Hendrix simply shrugged.

"You'll need it won't you?" She could feel him looking at her, so she looked up and met his gaze.

"Yes," she said evenly. She knew that was his way of asking if she was keeping it. Her parents already knew this, at least as of three days ago, but she didn't know how much they'd told her brothers. It hadn't even been a discussion, it was just implied and assumed by all parties once the news was out. Hendrix let out a sigh, as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

"In a way I am happy about that," he told her. He had now put down what he had been working on and was focused just on his sister. "It shows you are being responsible for your choices." He sounded so much like an after school special she almost started to tune him out. Then his voice changed, softer and more melancholy now. "But also it makes me sad for you, _hermanita_. It's not what I envisioned for my baby sister. You're so young, Santana."

"I know," she told him, a knot forming in her stomach. She knew she had disappointed him, like she had her parents. She looked back down at her hands, still fiddling with her drawstring. It killed her inside... She never showed it too much outwardly, but she adored her big brothers, and respected and loved her parents very much. They were all so good to her. She hated making them feel like they'd failed.

"I know you know. But I'll be here for you, you know that, too, yeah?" He reached over and tilted her chin up, so that she had to look him in his eyes. "I love you, _cariño_. Anything you need, no matter what." She nodded against his hand and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks, Hendrix." He kissed her gently on her forehead, and picked up the screwdriver again, setting back to work.

"Now comes the part I know you don't want to talk to me about," he started to say. She braced herself, not exactly sure what he meant. "Who is the father? And do I need to have a talk with him?" She knew what he meant now, and it wasn't pleasant. "Talking with" someone usually meant beating the crap out of them to her older brothers. They were good guys, but someone had to stick up for themselves, and their little sister. They had to teach her how to hold her own. It was necessary being one of the few minorities in a small, hick-ish town, and one of the reasons Santana was the way she was now: cool, dominating, and able to intimidate with a single glare. So it was understandable that Hendrix was right, she didn't exactly want to talk to him about this.

"I don't think you'll need to do that," she told him hesitantly. "And I'm not entirely sure." Hendrix's head jerked up, and he looked at his sister with a look of extreme shock.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked her, spitting the words out. Of course he knew that his sister was a little promiscuous, but not to this extent.

"It's not as bad as you think. There was some... I don't know what to call it, necessity sex? And then casual sex. Just too close together to call." She was candid with her brother, not bothering to try and sugar coat any of it. They didn't have that sort of relationship and neither had tried to make it otherwise. This was easier, and made them closer if anything.

"Puck..." her brother said, knowing that he had been her boyfriend up until a couple months ago. He didn't like the kid, especially since he knew that he'd knocked up Quinn Fabray. "And who?"

"You don't know him, Finn Hudson...?" Her brother shook his head.

"No, I don't know the name," he agreed with a sigh. He looked at her concernedly. "Do mom and dad know this?"

"They don't. And I would appreciate if you wouldn't tell them... Or Sambora," Santana said. The oldest Lopez child didn't live at home anymore, but he was home at least twice a week to visit. When he'd left for college, it gave Santana and Hendrix the opportunity to become closer. She knew she could probably trust him, but because he was the eldest he would judge harder, and question it more. It would be easier if he was as in the dark about that aspect as her parents were.

"Okay, kid. But damn." He shook his head at her, eyes back on the project at hand. "That's a mess."

"Tell me about it," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. "It feels so weird to be so... I don't know. Flippant about it, I guess."

"It is what it is, San," Hendrix replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Not much you can do about it. But you know it will come out eventually. Especially because you have awhile before you have the kid."

"No it won't. We're going to find out a way to test sooner..."

"Good idea. Without mom and dad knowing?"

"Can you help me with that?" she asked sheepishly. He nodded, and finished putting together the last parts of the bassinet.

"I'll do my best." He gestured to the bassinet with both hands, a big smile on his face. "And it's finished. Looks awful good, doesn't it?" Santana nodded, fingering the white ruffle of the bassinet carefully. It had taken him less than thirty minutes to put together completely.

"It does. I'll let you know when you can set up the crib and other stuff for me too," she joked.

"Ha! You'll have to be of more help for me to do that!" he said with a laugh. "Let's go put this upstairs. Mom and dad don't know I bought it... Don't want to freak them out with all of this baby stuff too soon. They'll just have to get over it I guess, that baby is coming whether they're ready or not." He looked at her pointedly. "That goes for you, too."

"I'm not ready yet, but I'm..." She couldn't even say "getting there" because it just wasn't true. She wasn't sure she'd ever be ready for this, or when she'd start feeling like she was getting closer to it. Hendrix seemed to know what she was going to say.

"Soon enough," he said shortly. The two of them carried the bassinet into Santana's room, and with little noise stuck it in the only space she really had available, between her futon and her TV. Her brother gave her a kiss goodnight and headed back to his own room. Santana settled back into bed and only turned over twice before falling blissfully asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry! I forgot! *smacks self* K, we're movin right along. Special shout out to Auggie of course, my ever helpful Argentinian bestie, and FuFuLuffs, my awesome new buddy who has been SUPER helpful, and inspirational, and let's me incorporate her awesome lines into this chapter LOL! Love you ladies! :)**

Quinn went into labor two days after Regionals. Santana didn't find out why exactly she was missing from school that day until she tried calling her phone during lunch, only to have a nurse answer it. After a few moments of confusion she was told what was taking place. Practically in shock, Santana quickly told Brittany what was going on.

"Quinnishavingthebaby!"

"She's having the baby here?" Brittany asked, looking around for their laboring friend. Santana sighed and rolled her eyes; she did not have time for this today. They had to get to the hospital as soon as they could.

"Brittany, she's not here, she's at the hospital. Come on, we have to go!"

"Should we tell the others?" Santana thought for a moment, meanwhile walking hurriedly out of the cafeteria, Brittany trailing behind by a few feet. Santana let out an exasperated growl and took Brittany's arm, tugging her quickly behind her, scattering other students in her wake effortlessly.

"I'm not sure what Quinn would want," she said after they'd made it out of the school. Santana just realized that they had no way to get to the stupid hospital. "Fuck!" Brittany ignored Santana's outburst, oblivious and just happy to be free of Santana's vise-like grip on her wrist. She rubbed her wrist tenderly and continued on with her own train of thought.

"I think we should. So they can be there for her if they want." Santana's face suddenly lit up. She wholeheartedly agreed, and whipped her phone out again and dialed Kurt.

"Cello?" came his song-songy girl voice. Santana scowled inwardly but didn't make the effort to really do it.

"Kurt, it's Santana. I need a favor."

"And by that do you mean that you don't really need a favor but more like you have a command?" Kurt said, a hint of fear in his voice at what Santana could possibly want with him.

"Yeah, that. You're skipping the rest of school. Meet me and Brittany out front right now. We need you to take us somewhere."

"Well can Mercedes at least come?" Kurt asked, hesitant but not willing to say no. She may be puking at weird times and pregnant but she was still Santana, and she was not to be trifled with.

"Fine, whatever, just get here," she told him, irritated that he didn't just appear in front of her right when she said so. "You have five seconds or I'll jack your car myself, and _if_ I return it, it won't be in one piece. Run." With that Santana shut the phone, crossing her arms and resigned to waiting. She hated waiting. She also hated the idea of Quinn at the hospital by herself, in pain, probably afraid. She didn't think once why Quinn didn't call them when she went into labor; it just didn't cross her mind.

"Do you even know how to hotwire a car?" Brittany asked, skeptical but completely believing that Santana could. Santana rolled her eyes and was about to give a snarky reply when she saw Kurt, Mercedes, and Rachel (Rachel?) running through the front doors. "What's she doing here?" Brittany asked for the both of them.

"Couldn't shake her, sorry," Mercedes said, completely unapologetically. "She just came with us."

"We were in the middle of practicing a number and I demanded to know what on earth was so much more important than perfecting our interpretive dance to "Louboutins" so I decided to come along," Rachel said, in her usual high and mighty tone. Santana didn't feel as if she had the time to argue with Rachel and her crap right now, though she might have time to throw in a quick punch. In the end she decided against it, remembering the "family" talk they'd had on the bus, even if it did leave a bitter taste in her mouth to recall it and have to apply it.

"Cram it Jew-face. Let's just GO." The five of them got into Kurt's large black SUV and got to the hospital in seven minutes flat, which was too long for Santana, even if Kurt had sped the whole way. On the ride she told them what they were doing there, and the other three seemed intent on staying as well. Santana figured Quinn's leap into Ms. Nice Girl helped fuel that. Mercedes and Kurt seemed to be her friends at any rate. Hell, even she and Rachel didn't seem to have problems lately. And that was saying something.

They found the obstetrics ward and were grilled thoroughly by the male nurse at the doors. Apparently you had to be asked in to this sort of place. Santana got herself in by just being her; her powers of intimidation just as strong outside of the high school setting. She found her way to Quinn's room, where, surprisingly, she was met by Puck. She eyed him cooly, and attempted to push him out of her way, as he was blocking the doorway.

"Nuh uh." Puck didn't budge, and Santana took a step back, ready to rip his throat out. Quinn was feet away, and this big stupid hunk of stupid was standing in her way!

"Move it or I'll kill you," she said, narrowing her eyes and stepping closer to Puck. Puck didn't doubt her threat and held his hands up defensively.

"Look, it's not me. If it were up to me it'd be you in there and not me. But Quinn doesn't want anyone in there right now."

"What?" Santana spat, disbelieving. "Puck do not mess with me right now."

"Sorry! It's just what she said. Look, wait in the waiting room, and I'll come out and let you know what's going on when stuff happens," he said, calmly, despite the fact Santana was ready to kill him where he stood. When she realized he really wasn't going to let her in, she calmed down slightly.

"What _is_ happening in there?"

"Not a lot. The doctor said that things were moving fast though. She's already like... nine centimeters... dia.. whatever."

"Dialated?" Santana quizzed, feeling kind of smart for knowing at least something about childbirth. Puck rolled his eyes.

"Yeah that. I'm not a doctor." Santana didn't know much about this whole having babies thing, but she knew that meant the baby would probably be here soon-ish.

The time seemed to drag on and on, and Santana could have sworn that the clock on the waiting room wall literally stopped ticking for minutes on end. The five friends (since when did those Glee losers become her friends? she wondered, kind of amazed at the fact) sat on the uncomfortable polyester couchs in the waiting room. Thankfully it didn't seem as if anyone else was having any babies that night, so no one else was there besides them. The room was set up with two doors, one you could freely walk in and out of, and one that lead to the obstetrics ward. There was a small window in that door, looking out into the hallway. In front of that door is where Santana moved to stand, with her arms crossed over her chest. Brittany stood behind her, her hands on her shoulders. Santana leaned her head back against her friend's chest and sighed.

"This is taking forever."

"I know," Brittany said simply. There were not too many words they could think of to say right now. They were too worried and frightened for Quinn to carry on a conversation. Even the usually chatty Mercedes and Kurt were quiet. Rachel was uncharacteristically mostly silent, she still made the off comment here and there, to which no one replied. After they'd been there for what felt like forever (three hours) they heard an earsplitting scream. Santana turned and looked wide eyed and looked at the others, her mouth hanging open slightly.

"Was that Quinn?" Mercedes asked, a hint of worry in her voice. She too stood up and stood by Santana and Brittany, straining to see through the window and down the hallway, hoping to catch a glance of something going on. Again they heard a scream. "If only she could have that much power when she sings..." Kurt remained where he sat, his face pale and eyes closed.

"This is not what I signed up for," he said in a scared voice.

"Oh my god," was all Rachel could muster up to say. "Oh my god." At that moment Finn burst through the waiting room door, slightly out of breath. Mercedes had text him earlier to let him know what was going on, against Santana's better judgement.

"Hey..." he started to say something but was stopped when a scream reached his ears. He stared wide eyed at the rest of them, and made a horrible face. "What are they doing to her?" he asked, his voice higher than normal.

"I have no idea but that can't be okay," Mercedes told him. She looked through the window with Santana and Brittany still. "I can't see anything, can you?" Santana shook her head. There weren't even any nurses moving around that she could see.

"No," Brittany replied. "All I see is the hallway. Hey it's kind of like Grey's Anatomy!" she said with a little girlish squeal. Santana knew this was when she was supposed to give Brittany a stern look to tell her she was being innappropriate, but her eyes were glued to the window. Later she'd mention something, if she remembered.

An hour later, the screams were more and more frequent, but they became less a frightening experience and more like macabre background music. They finally figured out they wouldn't see anything out of that damn little window, and the girls had sat back down a half hour ago. Finn sat on the floor closest to the door, unsure if he was really wanted there or not. The rest of the Glee Club decided to stay behind at school, although they'd told the members who were there to send Quinn their love. So the eight of them sat and twiddled their thumbs. Santana was scowling in her usual fashion when she realized that she had to pee, and bad. She definitely didn't want to leave the waiting room in case anything happened, but at the same time, nothing had really happened in the last four hours. She figured she might be safe enough, if she made it quick.

"I'm going to try and find a bathroom," she told the others, getting up from her seat beside Brittany and Kurt. Finn also got up with a little cough.

"I'll go with you." Santana raised her eyebrow at him and gave a shrug, not saying anything either way about him coming along. The two left the waiting room and wandered the halls of the hospital without speaking, scouting for a restroom that wasn't labled "For Patient Use Only". After roaming for long enough, Santana let out a disgusted growl.

"Screw it." She ducked into one of the "forbidden" bathrooms and did her business as quickly as possible. When she was done, Finn was still waiting for her. She figured he'd have found his way back to the waiting room by now. "Do you have to go or something?" she asked, giving him a look.

"Noooo," Finn answered, drawing out the word. "I kind of wanted to talk to you though."

"Well thanks for waiting until I had pee'd at least," Santana said with an attempt at humor.

"Yeah." Finn chuckled a little bit, more trying to appease Santana than out of actually finding her funny. "So are you doing okay? I mean, this is going to be you in a few months," he said. Santana was surprised he was concerned about her feelings, considering everything that was going on. But then again Finn had always struck her as sensitive. Kind of girly, in a way.

"I'm fine. I mean... it's a little concerning," she admitted, although it was veiled in aloofness. Finn saw through it easily, of course. "But I can handle it."

"It certainly doesn't sound like a walk in the park."

"No, it doesn't."

"Are you worried... about when you...?" Santana was giving him a look that would normally have sent him hightailing it far away from her, but he persevered, ignoring her terrifying face for the time being. "I guess all of it. Are you scared?" Santana laughed harshly, the sound unsettling Finn. She knew he was trying to go all sensitive guy on her and she wasn't into it.

"Scared? Santana Lopez, scared? No. I'm not _scared_." She kept her voice hard and scathing. But inside she was. She was very scared, if she let herself think about it, which seemed to be happening almost every second since she walked out of that Planned Parenthood still pregnant. She couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but all of it was very frightening... being pregnant, the actual childbirth, after the baby came... She especially was afraid of that last one. Having no knowledge of how any of it worked was a severe disadvantage as well, and just added to her fears. So yes, she was actually very scared. But she wouldn't show it, especially not to Finn. She maintained her glowering vibe and hoped he was fooled.

"If you say so," he said calmly. They simultaneously started walking back to the waiting room, and Finn continued to talk, much to Santana's chagrin. "I was doing some Googling last night, and I found out a way we can tell who the baby's dad is." Santana's face faltered for a few seconds, the surprise obvious on her face, even if just briefly.

"How?"

"It's called an amniocent... isis... Or something. Basically like they stick this needle into your uterus, draw out some of the fluid the baby is swimming around in, and they can test that somehow against Puck and my blood samples, and that will tell us who the dad is." He caught the slightly panicked look that she probably didn't realize she was doing. "They numb you, and it won't hurt the baby," he added quickly. Santana nodded her head, her eyes remaining forward.

"Then that's what we have to do. As soon as we can."

"Well the sites I was reading all say you have to wait until you're like sixteen weeks along to do it. That's still... what six weeks away?"

"Five," Santana corrected. "Almost four."

"So we'll have to wait, but it's not as long as having to wait until the baby is here."

"Yeah." She stopped walking and turned to him, her arms folding over her chest by force of habit. "Thanks for... Googling," she told him hesitantly. Finn gave her a nervous smile.

"Well it's the least I could do. It could be mine. And I'm sure you want to know just as much as we do." Santana flicked her hair back over her shoulder and eyed the ceiling as she exhaled deeply.

"I didn't plan it this way."

"I know," he said in a quiet voice. He was staring at her, but she didn't give him the satisfaction of looking into his eyes. She already hated talking like this with people; it was uncomfortable and awkward. It was easier to pretend to be speaking with a wall. Still she trucked on, knowing that it had to be said.

"That night was a mistake, Finn." Despite her desire to forget she was talking to him, she found herself looking Finn straight in the face, her chin slightly elevated to give her a superior air. "And no matter what happens with this-" she didn't even bother to indicate the baby, knowing he knew exactly what she meant, "I know that you're in love with Rachel, and you're like her biggest fan and whatever." She noticed his face fall and remain that way hereafter when she mentioned Rachel's name. She chose to continue without acknowledging the change. "You were right that night. It didn't mean anything. I just want to make that perfectly clear that if this baby is yours, I don't want to be with you. I don't want to trap you." Well that was out finally. She felt like she really had to spell it out for Finn, just in case. She knew what kind of guy he was. If the baby was his, he'd at least entertain the thought of dating her. She was not going down that road, not with Sensitive Emotions Ken-doll here. She narrowed her eyes at him unaware she was doing so, her arms crossing over her chest out of habit again. "And seriously. I'm not going to be stuck with _you_, either," she added, lilting the end of her sentence as if it were a tease. She hardly realized she'd said it that way until she saw Finn smirking at her.

"Come on. It wasn't that bad," he joked, grinning lopsidedly. Santana turned on her heel and they resumed their walk back to the waiting room. She couldn't help but comment over her shoulder:

"Obviously."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I wanted to get this out before "Journey" aired or else I'd be kicking my own ass for not writing this as awesome as the writers for Glee did, LMAO! It's a wee shorter than my normal chapters are. And some technical aspects are off, but play along with me. :) As always reviews and comments are more than welcome. I dislike writing fluff so I apologize ahead of time if the end of this seems off, haha. Read on! **

Puck entered the waiting room less than ten minutes after Finn and Santana returned. He looked like he'd been crying, but no one dared to ask him if he was alright. He sniffed and rolled his shoulders back, as if flexing. "Well Beth is here. She weighs eight pounds, twelve ounces." Everyone waited with bated breath for him to continue, all eyes on Puck. "She's beautiful," he said softly, a catch in his voice. "Really, really beautiful."

"Did they take her already?" Mercedes asked gently, so as not to upset Puck any more than she had to.

"Yeah her adoptive parents have already kind of taken over..."

"Puck..." Santana started to say, although she wasn't sure exactly what words she planned on saying. Her heart ached oddly for him. He was obviously pained by this experience, and she couldn't help but feel the unfairness of the situation. He had to say hello and goodbye to his daughter in the same twenty minute time span. It seemed cruel, even if they all knew this is how it would pan itself out.

"I'm okay. I'm just glad I got to meet her."

"Did you hold her?" Rachel asked tentatively, and everyone knew that she was thinking of when her birthmother gave her over to her fathers. Puck inhaled and exhaled deeply to steady his nerves.

"I did. I even got to kiss her goodbye." Before he could start crying or they could ask him more questions, he turned to Santana. "Santana, Quinn wants you. You too, Brittany," Puck said, motioning to each of them with a nod of his head. Wordlessly the two linked pinkies and sought out Quinn, leaving the others to comfort Puck as well as they could. They hesitated outside of her door, and Brittany slipped her hand into Santana's and squeezed it. Santana glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, and could tell she was going to cry.

"Now just stop. Brittany, you can't cry when we go in there," Santana told her. She wiped her friend's tears away as a few fell despite her efforts to stall them on her command. "You have to be brave for Quinn, can you do that?" she asked softly, looking into Brittany's eyes with a silent plea. Brittany nodded and sniffed.

"Yeah I can." Santana waited a few more brief moments before knocking on the door when she was sure Brittany had gotten herself under control. There was no reply, but she let them in anyway. Quinn was resting, sleeping on her side clutching a pillow. All of that with Brittany a few seconds ago was for nothing after all. She couldn't decide whether they should stay or go. Against her better judgement, she decided for both her and Brittany that they would stay. They quietly pulled two chairs that were off to the side of the room up to Quinn's bed and sat down on either side of her. Santana couldn't help herself, and found herself smoothing sweaty hair away from Quinn's face. She looked peaceful, Santana thought, and so that was a blessing of somesort after all that screaming earlier.

A nurse came in and looked sympathetically at Quinn's sleeping form. She said a vague hello to the two other girls.

"I'm sorry, but I have to wake her. I need to take her temperature and feel her abdomen." Santana nodded, and got up from her seat, urging Brittany to do the same. Brittany hesitated but followed, and they scooted against a far wall. The nurse put her hand on Quinn's shoulder and gently rocked her. "Ms. Fabray... Ms. Fabray, I'm sorry to wake you, but I just need to give you a quick look over." Quinn nodded with her eyes still closed.

"Sure," she said softly. "Can I see my baby?" The nurse made a face and shook her head.

"No, honey. They took her away already."

"Oh." Quinn was waking up more, and sat up a bit to aid the nurse as she did her duties. "I forgot, I'm sorry," she said sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it. Are you feeling okay?"

"All things considered," Quinn said simply. She noticed that Santana and Brittany were in the room too. She smiled faintly at them. "Hey, guys. Sorry you have to see me like this," she said, gesturing to her messy hair, her hospital gown, and lack of make-up. Santana shook her head.

"It's fine. Puck said you wanted to see us... Are you...?" Santana didn't finish her question, but furrowed her eyebrows heavily, gesturing with her hand. Brittany just stared.

"I hurt, yeah. But I'm okay."

"Like emotionally though?" Brittany asked, a worried look on her face. Quinn nodded at her through a groan as the nurse palpated her stomach.

"I'm going to be okay," she said. "Really."

"Are you sad?" Brittany persisted, not paying any attention to the nurse that was still in the room. Santana gave her a withering look, letting her know she'd probably better just shut up.

"San, don't look at her like that; it's fine," Quinn said. She turned her attention to Brittany. "I am sad. But mostly I am happy... Beth is going to be very loved. You should have seen how her adoptive parents looked when they held her. The absolute joy... They're going to take good care of her. So I am mostly happy for her. And a little sad for me."

"And Puck?" Brittany questioned. The nurse left without a word, leaving the girls alone.

"And Puck. But we'll be okay, as long as Beth is. That's why we did this... So she'd have a better life than we could give her." Santana couldn't help but think about herself in that moment, and felt slightly guilty for being so selfish. She could see no difference between her and Quinn, and yet she was keeping her baby. She wondered with a frown if that was wrong... If she shouldn't be more seriously considering adoption. How could she expect to make it work if Quinn couldn't? Quinn reached a hand out for Santana, which Santana took, her frown still on her face. "It's not the same for you, Santana," Quinn said softly. Santana gave her a look, and was almost ready to ask how she'd become so adept at reading her mind. "I know your parents. They're going to help you in any way they can. You're in a better position to keep your baby than I am."

"I'm sorry," Santana blurted out. "I'm sorry that you had to do what you just did. I'm just... sorry." Quinn shook her head, and drew her friend closer. Santana sat on the edge of the bed with Quinn, looking down at their hands.

"Don't. I admit I am jealous of you. That your parents are supportive. That you get to keep your baby, and love it and raise it and hug it every day. I'm jealous of those things. And a huge part of me wishes that I could have what you are going to have with your baby. But I know it's going to be hard for you, too. In different ways than this is hard for me. And I'm not jealous of that. So Santana, it's okay. And I don't want you to keep anything from me because of this. Not your baby's first smile, or it's first word, or any of it. Promise me that." Without thinking Santana drew her friend into a hug, and depite herself Quinn started to cry. Even though she gave a pretty speech Santana knew that she was hurting, she had enough sense to know that.

"It's not fair," Santana said simply. "And I _am_ sorry." Quinn nodded her head against her friend's shoulder, tears falling freely.

"It's _not_ fair," she agreed sadly. "Just promise me I'll get to share in your baby's life, if I can't be in mine's," Quinn said through her quiet weeping.

"Of course you can," she assured her friend, giving her a tiny kiss on her forehead. She tilted Quinn's face up so that she was looking into her eyes and gave her a smile. "You can be it's really cool aunt, who sneaks it into R rated movies and shows it how to properly throw a slushie." This elicited a small smile from Quinn, which made Santana feel better.

Brittany had remained set off a little from her two friends, just watching them interact, as she felt she had no real awareness of what they were even talking about. Santana noticed this now and motioned for Brittany to come over to them, turning her body so that Brittany could sit on her lap and she could still comfort Quinn. She smiled at Brittany too. "And you can be it's really fun aunt."

"I can teach it to do somersaults!" Brittany crowed cheerfully, face lighting up. "I used to love doing those when I was a kid." Quinn and Santana laughed, and reached for Brittany in unison. The three of them huddled into a little ball, Santana wrapping an arm around each of the other two girls' shoulders protectively. She would always be their sheild, she decided. She'd been doing it for Brittany so effortlessly throughout their friendship, and even though she'd only recently discovered the dire need Quinn had been in for the same sheltering, she would do the same for her. They'd gone through a lot together even before Quinn and Santana's respective baby-gates, but with those further events, they were undoubtedly bonded for life now.

"I love you guys," Brittany said after a few moments of lingering in her friends' embrace. The other two were used to her unsullied and innocent way of speaking by now, but her admission still made Santana's throat feel constricted and her eyes to prick with wetness. Santana tightened her grip on them and nodded her head into Brittany's neck. She couldn't say it right now, but she felt the same way, so much so, it almost hurt. And she knew they knew that, without her having to speak.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Okay so this is long! And as you can see, some parts are not like what is going on in the show. I mean... Obviously, but you'll see more what I mean when you read. :) Carry on dears! Ah, also there is a song in this one... It won't happen often, but when it actually *fits* into the story it will happen. I mean, it is GLEE after all. But don't get too used to it. ;) **

It was a week after Beth was born that Quinn returned to school. Santana and Brittany had visited her often, and the weekend before her return was spent at Santana's home almost exclusively. Puck's mom was more than willing to let Quinn stay at the Puckerman residence, despite the fact that Quinn was no longer pregnant with her son's child. Whether it was from maternal instinct or pity, no one really knew, but Quinn didn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Her parents didn't contact her, even though she was sure that they knew by now she'd had the baby. This inwardly upset Santana, because the whole thing still made little sense to her to begin with. But when Quinn talked about it, she remained stoic and as supportive as she could manage.

No one in the Glee Club pretended that Quinn and Puck hadn't just given up a baby. Santana expected the others to just move on and forget the whole thing, but that wasn't the case. They were all sensitive to the fact, and went out of their way to make sure Quinn was emotionally supported, which actually took a lot of weight off Santana's shoulders. She had never been good at this emotional crap, and her own situation made her not entirely the best person to talk to about it with anyway. She noticed that Quinn and Rachel were slowly bonding over the experience, one as a birth mother and one as a child whose mother had signed her parental rights over. It was odd (and as Brittany would say, "icky") to see them become closer, but Santana shrugged it off as being good for Quinn. If Rachel was anything, she was adept at dealing with her emotions, and by proxy, the emotions of others. Empathy was never Santana's "thing" anyway. It was better left to other people at this point in time.

By Tuesday of that week, Finn had made an appointment for Santana's amniocentisis, and had been informed that they wouldn't have to wait as long as they'd thought. A different procedure altogether could tell determine paternity even earlier, and it could be performed now. Finn had cornered Santana in the library where she was studying to deliver the news. Santana listened to him explain (as best he could) with her head propped up with one hand and an open book in front of her. She didn't even bother to feign boredom as he talked; she knew this was important. It was a relief to know they wouldn't have to take as long as they originally thought, but at the same time it meant they'd all have to face the results sooner. She wasn't sure she was ready, but Finn had already went through all the trouble of calling an OB and setting up an appointment for her. There was no point in dragging this out.

"So, this Thursday is when the appointment is. It's after school... Is that okay?" he asked, out of breath from his long and rambly story. Santana nodded curtly and closed her book. Her mind wasn't really on history anyway.

"What time?" she asked, standing. The bell rang to signal that it was time for Glee Club.

"It's at four," he told her. They walked together to the auditorium, where they would be goofing around, since there was a little over two weeks of school left. There was no real point to rehearsing any numbers since they hadn't made it to Nationals, but they still would meet and have spontaneous sing-a-longs, she was sure.

"I'll have my brother drive me," Santana said, keeping her voice low so that none of the other students in the hallway would hear. So far everyone had kept their mouthes shut, and she wasn't going to slip up when they were almost in the clear. "And I'll let Puck know."

"I'll do it," Finn quickly offered. "He'll just give you attitude." Santana looked at him slightly wary out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't sure where that came from, but she decided to just go with it.

"Fine, whatever." They walked into the auditorium together, and then parted ways, Finn sitting with Puck, Mike, and Artie, and Santana sitting with Brittany as usual. Santana wasn't listening as Brittany told her some elaborate story about what her cat had eaten for breakfast or some other nonsense, instead watching Finn. She noticed when he took Puck aside, and glanced quickly away when both boys looked in her direction.

"And that's when my mom told me unicorns aren't real. Can you believe that?" she heard Brittany say with utter disbelief, her tale finally over.

"That's crazy," Santana said halfway shocked as if she'd been paying attention the entire time.

"I know right?" Santana could tell she was about to launch herself into another story, and she zoned out again. Soon they would know who the father was, and they'd have to actually talk about this whole baby thing. It made her insides shaky to think about it... There were decisions to be made, some important (where would the baby live, how much did they want to see the baby, how exactly was whoever turned out to be the father going to support her, what was expected of her in all of this, how they'd tell his parents) and some not so important (whether they wanted the baby to be a boy or a girl, what name would they choose, whose mother would be the first to hold it). But ultimately this is what had to be done, and she knew it, even if she didn't exactly like it. This is what came with the choice to keep the baby. She had a sudden thought and whipped out her cellphone, nodding to whatever Brittany was saying as she yammered on, oblivious to the fact that Santana wasn't paying her any attention at all. She texted her brother Hendrix and let him know what was going on. Within a few seconds he texted her back letting her know he would be there Thursday, and telling her not to worry. Easy for him to say, she thought. She put this baby thing on the back burner and turned her focus onto Brittany and her newest anecdote, deciding to take his advice after all. Thursday couldn't come and pass soon enough.

* * *

And Thursday arrived as pronounced as bull in a China shop. It was only ten in the morning but it seemed like everything was going wrong. Santana's alarm hadn't gone off, and she missed first period altogether, and was late for second period. She couldn't find a shirt that didn't sit oddly on her. She'd steadily been gaining weight since stopping with Sue's Master Cleanse and starting to eat solids, and the nausea pills had done their job so she could keep it down. She didn't have a pronounced belly yet, but she was indeed looking fatter she thought. She'd settled for a billowy light blue shirt she was sure would be too obvious, but paired it with skinny jeans that she had to leave unbuttoned so they'd fit. The temporary fix wasn't obvious as the shirt was rather long anyway, so it worked out. But she wasn't satisfied that the average person couldn't tell she was pregnant, so she was self-concious.

She was still getting used to wearing real clothes in school, anything that wasn't her Cheerios uniform. It was a difficult transition already and now she wasn't even fitting into her clothes the right way. She tried hard not to let her insecurity show at school, and she was sure she was just imagining stares from her peers. Only when she got into third period did she realize she'd completely forgotten the essay that was due that day at home. And for once she'd actually put in a real effort to do the assignment, so it more than irritated her that it was laying on the kitchen table. She considered skipping the class, so she could turn it in tomorrow. She decided that was a good enough idea. Hey, she'd done the work! If her mind wasn't all over the place she'd have remembered it. Instead of turning left after the girls' bathroom, she took a right, and headed for the choir room. To her surprise, Puck was already there.

"Hey," he said idly from where he was sitting at the piano. He played a few bars and hummed along with his own playing.

"Hey... Are you ditching too?" She sat on top of the piano and listened to him play with her eyes closed. She loved the guitar, but when his fingers ran expertly over the keys of the piano, it was almost euphoria for her. Something about it but she didn't know what, akin to the stars she supposed.

"Nah. Free period," he said after a few moments. He continued playing and humming, and eventually Santana recognized the tune.

"Is this Joy Williams?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He did not strike her as a guy who would listen to this type of music. He only nodded.

"Do you know it?"

"Well enough," she admitted. She knew the song probably didn't seem like her thing either. He paused and started over, and motioned to her with a nod of his head. She had to guess on when to join in, but did, letting her voice mingle with the melody Puck was playing. "_You're speaking a dead, dead, dead language, and you don't sound like yourself. I hope it's just lost in translation, so why don't you show, don't try to tell? And brick by brick we started crumbling, will I find you when it falls_?" She shut her eyes tightly, and allowed herself to really feel the song. "_Oh I wonder when did it all stop making sense? I don't understand. I remember we were so sure, so innocent, oh, but that was then. Can we ever go back_?" Puck slowed the tempo down, and there was a slight pause from her. "_Don't hold your breath, look around, try to let it out, pin it down, but you can't. Oh I wonder, when did it all stop making sense? I don't understand. I remember we were so sure, so innocent, oh, but that was then. Can we ever go back again? Can we ever go back_?" The last few notes played out, and Santana smiled happily to herself. Singing made her feel good, like a release. It was nice to be able to pour her emotions out that way, and people just _liked_ it, no matter what the emotion was, and didn't think anything more of it than that she was just into the song. It was the perfect way to bare her soul without actually doing it, and if it was anything Santana liked, it was secrecy. When she looked at Puck, he was also smiling.

"That was good. I'm glad you're getting more opportunities to showcase your voice, you know, in Glee," he said, and she took an exaggerated bow from where she still sat on the piano, mocking his Gleek-y compliment.

"Thank you, thank you," she said playfully. She looked out at an imaginary crowd with a huge grin on her face and waved her hand daintily. "Yes, I love you too!" Puck laughed openly, and not the sniggering laugh he normally did, but a real belly laugh.

"You're full of it, you know, San?"

"I've been told that before, yes." She cheekily pushed his shoulder with her shoe with a grin. It was rare she was able to be this playful, and she was surprised she felt comfortable being like this with Puck of all people. She supposed as often as he'd seen her naked, there wasn't much to be shy about.

"It wouldn't be too bad, raising a kid with you," Puck said out of the blue. "When you don't have your panties in a bunch, you're fun." Santana rolled her eyes and laughed, leaning on her hands that gripped the edge of the piano.

"You don't want a kid. You've pretty much proved that," she threw at him, a little more harshly than she'd meant it. He'd had his chance with Beth to be a father, and he didn't take it. He'd let Quinn give away the child they'd made without so much as a single fuss. Why on earth would this baby be different? Puck's eyes were suddenly downcast.

"I think it's the opposite. All of this with Beth, it's... Changed me," he said slowly, as if he were thinking about this for the first time. He shrugged one of his shoulders and sat up straighter, looking at her now. "I don't know. All I know, is if this baby is mine, I'll be better. I messed up with Quinn. I was horrible to her." Santana bit her bottom lip. She couldn't tell him he was wrong, because he wasn't. He barely tried, although he did support her financially. Emotionally though, he didn't do squat for Quinn. He placed a hand gently on her knee. "I can be better. I know it's hard to believe me just because I'm saying it, but it's true. Can you... If it's mine, can you just give me a chance to prove it?" He searched her face for a hint of understanding, for some sort of cooperation or acceptance. His face was drawn, as if he was in pain. Santana was almost afraid of him and of the raw emotion he was displaying. She wasn't used to him being vulnerable. So she did what she could at that point in time; she nodded, and placed her hand over his, giving it a slight squeeze.

"I can do that," she agreed. If it were his, she could definitely at least give him a chance to be a father. Kids need two parents, right? Maybe he had changed enough to where he could step up and really be a dad. Puck gave her a smile, and turned back to the piano, taking his hand off of her knee. She frowned slightly at the loss of contact but Puck didn't seem to notice. He started to play another song and this one she didn't recognize.

"So are you ready for today? Not scared or anything?"

"I'm ready," she assured him. "I just want to get it over with." Puck stopped playing and hopped up, grabbing Santana around the waist and lifting her up and off the piano and setting her feet on the ground in one smooth motion.

"Let's get out of here. You want a burger?" he asked her, grinning devilishly.

"What kind of question is that?"

* * *

After their run out for burgers, Puck and Santana returned to school for the last three periods of the day. Santana felt better after talking with Puck (surprisingly) and being fed. She almost bounced through the rest of the day, although it was very subtle. She still had to maintain what was left of her badass reputation after all, which did not include bouncing. After school let out, she made some excuse to Brittany as to why they couldn't hang out that afternoon, instead telling her to come by for dinner. Brittany was happy with that and didn't think anything of the fact that Hendrix picked Santana up from school. He almost never did that. But he gave her a ride home too, so it was all gravy in her mind. Santana waved goodbye to her friend as Brittany walked up the sidewalk to her front door. When Brittany was safely inside, Hendrix drove them over to the hospital. Santana scoured the parking lot and found Puck's truck and Finn's little Cavalier easily, parked next to each other. While she was getting the procedure done, they would be getting their blood drawn so the lab could run their DNA against that of the baby's.

"They're here," she told her brother as he pulled into a parking space semi-close to the entrance. He cut off the engine and sighed.

"I'll meet them?"

"Please, _please_ don't say anything to them." Her pleas were not actual pleas, but just a rare show of courtesy. "Or I'll tell Mama about your porn collection," she threatened, and she meant it.

"Touche, little sis," he laughed, his hands up in the air defensively. "I'll be good." The two of them walked into the hospital, and were directed to OB. Santana checked in with the receptionist and was given a stack of papers to fill out.

"Why do they seem to love to hand out paperwork?" Santana said with a frown. It sure took her long enough to fill them out and give them back to the receptionist. Then they waited another fifteen minutes before she was called back to see the doctor.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Hendrix asked, rising from his seat. Santana shook her head.

"No. I can do it on my own." She didn't give him time to protest, instead turning on her heels and going to the back.

She was surprised at how much like the abortion clinic this was. Not like, the atmosphere she supposed, but the fact that she had to answer ridiculous questions, change into a gown, and was subjected to another ultrasound. This time she didn't shy away from the image, instead staring at it with intensity, drinking in the sight. The tech let her watch the screen for a little longer than was needed, and even let her hear the heartbeat.

"That's cool," she said under her breath, although she was sure the tech could hear her considering she was only a meer few feet away. There was still something in there, which may have been an odd thought, but one that crossed Santana's mind instantly after the first steady string of _bomp bomp bomps_.

"Okay, so you're right; you're about thirteen weeks along. We'll go ahead and have Dr. Nguygen perform the chorionic villus sampling. Now what will happen is he'll insert a tiny tube into your cervix, and carefully collect a sample. It will be a little uncomfortable, but it won't be painful. Then we'll run the results against those of..." She paused to look at her notes. "Mr. Hudson and Mr. Puckerman. And you should know the paternity within a week." Santana was surprised at the way the nurse spoke to her, like this was something that happened every day. There was absolutely no judgement at all, just like at the abortion clinic. Hell if it were her, she'd be judging hard and fast. She nodded her head to show that she understood. "Now, the rest of today you need to stay off of your feet, and for the next three days, you're to not do anything strenuous. You may cramp or bleed a little, and that's normal. But if you feel like something is not right, we'll need you to come in right away."

"Okay..." Santana said, not really understanding what all of that meant really but going with it. How was bleeding normal? Doesn't that in itself mean something is wrong?

"Alright then, I'll just go grab Dr. Nguyen and we'll have you out of here in about a half hour, hun." Santana frowned. There was that word again! It must be just a habit to anyone who works in a clinical setting at this rate. She looked terse as the nurse left the room. She secretly wished that she'd let Hendrix come... Or had brought Brittany along. It seemed though that it would be too hard to explain to Brittany what was going on, and she didn't really want her brother to see her with her legs up in stirrups. They were close, but not that close. There was a swift knock at the door.

"Yes?" she said, confused. Don't doctors normally just walk right in? The door opened and Finn poked his head in. "What are you doing here?" she asked, slipping and using her bitchy tone normally reserved for school use. Given the unforseen intrusion she didn't blame herself.

"Hi to you too," Finn said sarcastically. He looked around the exam room as if looking for something. "I got my blood drawn, and so did Puck." He opened the door wider to reveal Puck standing behind him. "Just wanted to see if you like, needed us or something."

"You don't have to stay." Santana looked Finn straight in the eye, challenging him. Why he thought she might _need_ them was beyond her.

"Well I kind of want to."

"I have to admit, hospitals seriously freak the fuck out of me," Puck said, looking down the hallway nervously.

"You can go, Puck," Finn told him, and everyone could tell from his tone that if Puck left he'd think of him as a punk. Puck shook his head.

"If you're staying, I'll stay."

"Who says either one of you are staying?" Santana asked with an eyebrow raised. She was slightly amused by them, but mostly she was irritated they were there in her space. She may have wanted someone here a few seconds ago, but she knew she didn't want either of _them_ there with her. It was a rare moment of weakness and one she didn't plan on acting on.

"Well it's one of ours... We should probably be here," Finn said with a look at Puck for back up.

"He's right."

"Fine!" Santana exclaimed, throwing her hands up in defeat. She supposed they were right. She turned to them and stared them down, a deep scowl on her face. "But neither of you are copping a look at my ass!" She alluded to the fact she was in a hospital gown, which provided very little rear coverage.

"It's not like we haven't seen it before," Finn said, smirking slightly. He glanced at Puck and a knowing look passed between them, eliciting a chuckle from Puck. They must be past being pissed each other, which was just peachy for her, she thought with a roll of her eyes.

"Although from a slightly better angle," Puck said, using his hands as a frame and laughing at the "secret" he and Finn shared.

"It's not too late for me to make you leave," Santana threatened, letting them know she wasn't going to be made fun of or be a party to their childish antics. They sobered up, and Finn sat down in the chair in the room while Puck stood against the wall, and all three remained silent. It wasn't long before the tech came back in with the doctor.

"Ah. I'm Dr. Nguyen, and you must be Ms. Lopez?" the doctor said after referring to the chart in his hand. He extended a hand to her and she shook it. "Was the procedure explained to you?" She nodded her head. "And do you have any questions?" Only a million... but she shook her head again. She wasn't going to look stupid in front of the boys.

"I do, will it hurt the baby?" Puck asked automatically, his arms crossed over his chest. Santana was secretly thankful that he asked, although she didn't show it.

"Nope, won't hurt a thing. It'll be a little uncomfortable for Ms. Lopez here, but the baby won't feel anything."

"And risks of her miscarrying or something weird like that...?" Finn said, lilting his sentence at the end to form a question where there really wasn't one. The doctor addressed Finn.

"Very, very low. It's a relatively routine procedure, one I've done hundreds of times," he assured them. He looked back at Santana. "Are we ready now?"

"Yes," she answered, sounding more sure than she was. She was instructed to lay down on the exam table and put her feet into stirrups. With a hint of panic, she automatically demanded that the boys leave, but the tech drew a little half curtain around her body so that they could only see from her belly button up. Her gown was lifted, exposing her stomach to the boys. She wondered if they could see the fat that she could. They didn't seem to be noticing though.  
The tech ran the ultrasound wand over her abdomen again, and held it rather low this time. The doctor expertly slid a small tube inside of her, and she could feel it as it bumped against her, hitting her cervix. She felt it wind itself up slightly further. Uncomfortable was right, she thought, grimacing slightly. But before she knew it, it was over, and the doctor was telling her to put her legs down and to remain laying for a few more minutes. He ran off with the sample, and returned to tell her what the nurse already had: stay off her feet the rest of the day, no strenuous activity for three days, come back if she thought something was wrong. They would call her and let her know the results. So with that, the boys left, and Santana donned her clothes again and went home with Hendrix.

**A/N Pt. 2: As always, reviews, comments, ideas, all more than welcome! I love to hear what you guys are thinking!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: FLUFF. Believe me there will be enough drama in the next chapter to hold you over. Enjoy this.**

Santana and Hendrix mutually decided that they'd tell their parents that she was ill, and maybe pulled a muscle in her back on top of it, and that's why she would be laid up in bed for the rest of the evening. The lie went over without a hitch, and no one protested against the girls eating upstairs in Santana's room when Brittany came over for dinner. Her mother even carried their plates upstairs herself, serving her daughter where she was lying in bed, already dressed in her pajamas and snuggled with Brittany.

"Are you feeling okay? You know if you're feeling poorly maybe we should go to the hospital; I don't want it to be anything with the baby," her mother said, her voice full of concern. Santana didn't like to see her worry needlessly but knew it's just what had to be done. There was no way she was going to tell them what had really happened, and risk further disappointing her parents. Besides, she wasn't really sick. It was a totally harmless lie.

"No, Mama, I'll be okay, really. If I think something is really wrong, then we can go. I just need to rest I think," she said, expertly playing her mother like a fiddle. Manipulating and scheming were two of her strong suits, even when it came to grownups. Her mother reluctantly agreed, handing Brittany's plate to her.

"Okay. Well, if either of you girls need anything, you just give a shout."

"Thanks, Mama." When her mother had left the room, Santana sighed. She turned to Brittany and raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you buying this?"

"Buying what?" Brittany asked, looking around confused. Santana exhaled deeply.

"Nevermind. But just so you know, I'm just pretending my back is hurt. I'm really fine. Okay?" she told her friend, searching Brittany's face for any signs that she understood what she'd said, praying she wouldn't regret the decision to let Brittany in on the secret.

"Oooookay," Brittany said slowly, glancing off to the right. After a slight pause, she looked back at Santana, a question clearly on her mind. "Why?" Santana explained in the simplest way possible what happened today, and for once, Brittany seemed to comprehend. "Oh okay. I get it. You're smart, San." Her face lit up happily at Santana's sheer brilliance, which of course made Santana giddy. She sat her plate down on her nightstand and cuddled up close to her best friend, smiling blissfully.

"I was thinking about something, Britt," Santana said, allowing Brittany to run her hand up and down her back lightly. She wasn't sure how to bring this up really, but today had made her realize that if she was going to get through the birth of the baby, she would need someone besides either Finn or Puck with her to keep her sane. Those two were completely clueless.

"Mmm?" Brittany mumbled softly, eyes closing. The Cheerios still had practice even if it was the off season, so Santana knew she was probably exhausted from that. Winning Nationals only caused Sue to push them harder, she thought, a slight pang of ironic pain that she wasn't included in the debacle that was Cheerios any more. She missed it horribly, although she still listened to Brittany's stories and tales from the practices as if she didn't miss it at all. She reached for Brittany's hand and linked their pinkies, causing Brittany's eyes to flutter open and look at her friend expectantly.

"When it's born, would you be there with me?" she asked softly, focused back on the subject at hand.

"In the hospital?" Brittany asked, back to being wide awake. She looked unsure of what Santana was asking her. Her hand stopped roaming Santana's back as if the extra effort would somehow prevent her from understanding.

"In the room with me, I mean," she clarified, wiggling slightly to remind Brittany that she had been rubbing her back seconds before. She didn't expect to feel like this request was so important... But it was. Brittany was her best friend, and she wanted her with her when she delivered. She was the only one who truly "got" Santana, and frankly was the only one any good at soothing and calming her. She figured that would come in handy since neither of the boys were any good at either of those things, even if neither had really been given the chance to try. Brittany did not let her down, a huge smile spreading across her face.

"I want to!" she shrieked joyously, her hand now pressing tightly against Santana's back in her excitement.

"Thank God," Santana said with a laugh, hugging Brittany to her. "I don't think I could do it without you there." She felt Brittany tense in her arms, and she loosened her grip so she could get a good look at Brittany's expression, which was somewhat terrified. "What?"

"I don't want to push a baby out, San!"

"Britt... _You_ don't have to. I do. You just have to, like, hold my hand..." Santana told her, slightly confused as to what went on in Brittany's head sometimes. At this news Brittany's face flooded with relief, and she rested her head back on Santana's shoulder.

"Oh. That I can do." After a few moments she craned her head back to look at Santana, her one eyebrow raised skeptically. "You're sure I won't have to?"

"Positive," Santana replied, laying a kiss on Brittany's forehead with a small chuckle. She really could be a piece of work, this one. But Santana loved her for it. Dumb as a box of rocks, but the girl was still her best friend.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey peeps! So here is some more drama for you. It's a little off-kilter but it'll all make sense, just trust me on this one. ;) **

Santana walked through the hall that Monday in a half-way decent mood. She was on her way to Spanish class (barf) when she saw Kurt and Mercedes talking at Tina's locker, waiting for their friend to walk to their History class all three shared next period. She almost decided she would be nice and wave when part of the conversation drifted to her ears.

"What is Santana doing, thinking she can be a mom? She's about as maternal as a piranha," Mercedes was saying, not even bothering to whisper. She was laughing, and Kurt looked uncomfortable but gave a small sound of amusement, if only for Mercede's sake. Santana's blood immediately started to boil. So this is what families do, huh? Talk shit behind each other's backs? Didn't Mercedes stick up for her to Puck on the bus? Or maybe she misinterpretted that, and she was always a backstabbing heifer. Mercedes gave a haughty chuckle. "We probably won't get to see how she fails at that; she'll throw up the kid first!" Kurt laughed along with her now, in his high tinkly laugh. Oh, that's just rich, Santana thought. The gayest gay ever making fun of her. What right did these losers have? She was on them almost instantly, adrenaline pumping through her fast.

"What the fuck were you saying, Poundcake?" she spat, eyes narrowed into slits and drawn up to her full height. There was no way in hell she was letting Ms. Two-Day-Cheerio talk smack about her. She didn't care what Mr. Shue said, as soon as Mercedes had opened her mouth, it was open season. Mercedes' face blanched for a second before taking on a "bitch please" expression.

"You heard me, Queen of Bulimia-Land." And that was all it took for Santana. She snapped, and slammed the books she was carrying onto the ground and went for the other girl's face, her left hook connecting with a sickening thud to Mercede's chin. Mercedes didn't back down, and before anyone knew what was happening they were rolling around on the floor, insults flying through the air almost as fasts as fists. Santana had more practice at this sort of thing and also was in a lot better shape than Mercedes, so she was easily winning. Then she lost her footing, and Mercedes was able to pin her down, holding her arms back to the ground leaving Santana with kicking as her only defense. She twisted and turned like a rabid dog caught in a noose, effectively landing several blows to Mercedes' stomach and managing to get one hand free.

Tina had turned the corner to reach her locker when she saw the cluster of students, and she pushed her way through the crowd of bystanding students to see what was going on. When she saw her two fellow Glee Clubbers going at it like two pissed off lionesses she screamed and dove in, attempting to pull Mercedes off of Santana to no avail.

"Mercedes! Stop!" Tina shrieked, the only one in the crowded hallway trying to put a stop to the madness. "MERCEDES! She's PREGNANT! What the hell are you doing! SHE'S PREGNANT! Stop, PLEASE!" By now Tina was crying, both from the stress of the situation and from fear. All at once all activity in the hall ceased. Santana jumped up quickly as soon as Mercedes released her other hand, and she was about to demand Mercedes get up and finish the damn fight when she noticed the quiet. She looked around, her hair disheveled and the buttons on her blouse popped off, revealing her bra and bare midriff. Everyone was staring at her.

Suddenly everything had registered at once. She snapped her head to Mercedes, seething, and tears sprang to her eyes out of sheer rage as she stood there shaking. Mercedes remained on the ground looking up at Santana with her mouth open, completely horrified. Tina made as if to come to Santana's aid, and to her surprise Santana let her. She swiftly closed the front of Santana's shirt and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Move it!" Tina shouted, manuevering herself and Santana's mostly unweilding body through the crowd of stunned faces. As fast as the quiet had fallen upon them, chaos resumed. Everyone was shouting and exclaiming, not bothering to hide any shock or awe about what had just occurred.

Tina rushed Santana into the girls' bathroom, and they were followed quickly by Kurt, who managed to push his way through the crowd. Once inside, Tina told Kurt to stay by the door and to not let anyone in, no matter what. Santana was bawling now, sinking down into the corner of the bathroom, her hands over her ears, shoulders shaking.

"Is she okay?" Kurt asked, his voice even higher than normal. He glanced anxiously at the door behind his back, as if he would actually have to fend someone off if they tried to get in.

"Santana?" Tina asked nervously. She'd never had to interact with Santana one on one, and this wasn't how she pictured the first time being. She bent down to Santana's level and placed a hand carefully on her leg. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do we need to call 911?" Santana only shook her head, her sobbing too violent to allow her to answer properly. Tina stood up, not sure what to do. She looked at Kurt accusingly. "You were right there! Why didn't _you_ stop them? What were you doing that was so important you couldn't get them to knock it off?"

"I was in _shock_, Tina! I didn't know what was going on," Kurt explained, staring at Santana with wide eyes. Santana had started to rock back and forth, and all sounds had ceased, it was just silent weeping that looked a hell of a lot like convulsing. There was rapid knocking at the door.

"You can't come in!" Kurt called, and he braced himself against the door.

"It's Quinn you fairy, open this door right now or I swear to God-" She didn't get to finish her threat before Kurt flung open the door and grabbed her, bringing her inside the bathroom.

"Thank God! You know what to do!" Quinn spotted her friend immediately and her expression turned sour.

"What the hell happened?" Quinn asked, her voice shrill. She dropped down on the dirty bathroom floor next to Santana and wrapped her arms around her friend. Santana clung to Quinn for dear life.

"They all know, they all know, they all know," she moaned pitifully, although Quinn could only just make out the words.

"What?"

"Mercedes and Santana got into a fight and Tina let slip that Santana is pregnant..." Kurt explained, leaving out the details, especially the ones that incriminated himself.

"In front of everybody!" Tina added with a little wail. She dropped to her knees next to Santana. "I'm sorry Santana! I didn't know what else to do! She was going to hurt you or the baby, I'm sorry!" she cried, her mascara running from her tears. Quinn patted Tina's shoulder quickly before pressing Santana's face closer against her neck, as if attempting to stop her from spewing something hateful at Tina before she could say what she wanted to say.

"No, Tina, you did the right thing," Quinn said diplomaticaly. She kissed Santana on the side of her head as best as she was able to since it was pressed up against her own neck. "Santana, what were you thinking, fighting?" she said sadly. "We need to get you to a hospital. Something could have happened to the baby. Didn't you just get that test done recently, too?" She got up slowly, bringing Santana with her. "Did she kick or punch you in the stomach?" Santana shook her head and gave a watery "no". Quinn looked at Tina and Kurt for corroboration. Tina shook her head also, adding that she hadn't really seen all of the fight, just the tail end of it.

"Not that I saw," Kurt said. "I should have stopped them sooner..."

"Just shut up," Quinn snapped, guiding Santana to the door. "Tell your fat friend she's going to get beat, and this time the girl she's fighting isn't pregnant!" She turned over her shoulder to look at Tina. "I'm taking her to the ER. You call and let them know we're on our way." She looked at Kurt again, and he gulped. "Give me your shirt." It wasn't a request, it was a command. Kurt did as he was told, albiet shakily. Quinn slipped the ruined button up shirt off of Santana and pulled the sweater Kurt had been wearing on over her head, carefully fitting her arms through the sleeves. Kurt had a t-shirt on underneath, so he was still decent. Tina had placed the phone call by then, and within ten minutes Quinn and Santana were riding in Quinn's car to the hospital, managing to get out of school without getting caught by teachers or too many prying student eyes.

Santana cried still, her mind too wracked with grief to really care what she looked like. Why should she care now, anyway? She'd worked so hard to create her image and now it was all gone. It took her years to make herself into this entity, and only five seconds to have it completely shatter. Devastated didn't even begin to cover it. So she allowed herself to feel every emotion, like she'd never before.

Throughout the ride Quinn made sidelong glances at her friend, worried and anxious. She asked Santana if she was okay almost twenty times, to which Santana replied "yes" through her tears without hesitation. If she hadn't been so damn sad Santana would have been annoyed at her repetitiveness. As it stood she couldn't care less. She couldn't bring herself to even answer truthfully. She was very obviously _not_ okay.

Once they arrived at the hospital things happened very quickly, so much that it was a blur in Santana's mind. She was taken off for an ultrasound, her vitals were taken, questions fired at her from every angle. She was surprised when her father showed up, extra clothes in hand and a tall black man in tow as well. As far as she knew no one had called him, unless Quinn had done so on the sly. Santana was confused as she lay on a gurney in her hospital gown, Quinn at her side also looking quite perplexed, having not gotten ahold of either of Santana's parents and having no clue who the other man with Santana's dad was.

"Are you alright?" were thankfully the first words out of his mouth. She nodded, and nodded again when he asked about the baby. "Nothing happened to the baby? Are you sure?" he pressed anxiously.

"That's what they told me, Daddy. I'm waiting for discharge papers right now..." Santana explained. She was sure of that much; Quinn had made sure they were positive the baby was fine before she would assent to Santana going home. Santana was groggy and confused from the crying and the whirlwind of events at the hospital so she wasn't tracking exactly. "How did you know I was here?"

"Mr. Jones called me, _mija_," her father explained tersely, gesturing to the man who was with him. Mercedes' dad. Now it all made sense to Santana.

"Was Mercedes aware that you were pregnant?" Mr. Jones asked, concerned. "I raised my girl to stick up for herself but this is over the line, absolutely and completely," he said, partly to Santana but mostly to her father. Santana's dad nodded his head but didn't look the other man in the eye. Santana could tell he was livid and trying to remain calm in the presence of Quinn and Mr. Jones.

"No, she didn't," Santana told him. Technically she had started it, but Mercedes didn't have much of a choice in the matter once Santana had slugged her. She wasn't looking to protect Mercedes from her parents but she also wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. Quinn looked at her and coughed a bit.

"She did," Quinn spoke up. "Our entire Glee Club knew." If Santana were more with it she'd have glared at Quinn for telling the truth.

"That's the kind of girl you raised?" Mr. Lopez said darkly to Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones looked shocked, searching for words.

"Certainly not!"

"Daddy, it was my fault," Santana said, speaking quickly. She knew the lawyer in her father would not let this rest and could lead to some bad things if this wasn't squashed right away. "I started it," she admitted. He looked disgustedly at her, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sure she'd been in fights before, and almost always started the physical part, but somehow she knew that this time was very different and that he was truly angry. Santana felt like starting to cry again, and realized what a friggin' daddy's girl she was. "Daddy, I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"Santana Adriana Lopez, what the hell were you thinking?" His voice boomed, his volume causing the other people on the floor to snap their heads and look in their direction. Santana blushed visably and fought back tears. She wasn't sure what else she had expected but his obvious disappointment and hurt was painful for her.

"Mr. Lopez!" Quinn spoke up, unwanting to tread on his toes but not able to keep her mouth shut if it meant Mercedes got off blameless. "Mercedes said some awful things about... Santana and the baby. You know Santana's temper as well as I do," Quinn said earnestly. Indeed they both knew how easily Santana flew off the handle, although normally she was not one to get physical save for extreme circumstances, like defending Brittany. "She wasn't thinking." Santana's father just stared at Santana, too angry to trust himself to respond to Quinn respectfully.

"This is beyond me right now. You're supposed to be responsible for another life and not acting like an immature child," he said, his voice lower now so as to not draw more attention to their odd little group, but still cold and bitter. Quinn could see where Santana got her venom from; the statement wasn't even directed at her and she felt scathed.

"She _is_ a child," Mr. Jones said, speaking slowly. Things were already tense enough and Santana could have killed him for saying something else to fuel the fire. "She is a child, and this was a mistake. Both of our girls are to blame for this, equally." Mr. Lopez took a deep breath.

"The baby is okay?" he asked again, much calmer now. Santana nodded tearfully, brushing a hand over her face. He nodded his head and breathed in deeply again. "That is what is important." He looked at Mr. Jones, more under control. "I trust you're going to speak with your daughter about this?"

"Of course. This is not going to be treated lightly."

"I appreciate you coming down here with me," Mr. Lopez said courteously. Mr. Jones nodded shortly.

"I wanted to be sure we got the whole story and that your grandbaby was alright. I can't imagine if it were my daughter, pregnant at this age." Santana caught the flash of anger in her father's eyes, brief as it was, and waited for the storm to return.

"I think I have it under control here now." His tone was cool and dismissive, as Santana's often could be. Mr. Jones said a quick goodbye and made a fast exit. No sooner had he left than a nurse came to speak with Santana, discharge papers in hand. Undoubtedly the papers had been ready for some time and the nurse had just waited until the drama had died down to give them to her.

"Here you go, hun." Santana gladly signed the top page and turned to get up, reaching for the clothes her dad held out to her in a slightly disdainful manner. The nurse gave him a funny look. "Is this the father?" the portly woman asked, eyeing Santana's father as if he were a creeper.

"He's _my_ dad," Santana retorted, embrassment momentarily gone and her bitch returning. "What are you, some kind of perv?" She scowled and stood, taking the clothes from her father. The nurse gave a huff and mumbled something under her breath. Santana couldn't help but flip her off behind her back, which warranted a throat clearing from her father. She clutched the back of her hospital gown and went into the bathroom right next to where they were to change, ignoring her father's rebuff for now. She would hear about all of this later, she was sure.

As she changed into the jeans and t-shirt she could hear Quinn and her dad talking. She couldn't make out the words, but she frowned anyway. She was sure it wasn't good, whatever it was. She didn't bother preening in the mirror, knowing there wouldn't be too much she could do without her make-up or a hairbrush. She settled for blindly smoothing down her hair and hoping she looked half-decent.

"I'm ready to go," she announced as she exited the bathroom. To her surprise Quinn was no longer there; it was just her father sitting on the bed waiting for her.

"She's meeting us at the house," her father explained, offering an answer to her unasked question. "We need to talk." He patted the hospital bed beside him. "Sit." She immediately did as she was bade, knowing that she'd already fucked up pretty severely. She had to be expecting some sort of "talk". Might as well humor him now and maybe it won't be so bad if she just sits and takes it. She steeled herself for a tongue lashing, her face set in a blank expression and eyes downcast. She waited for him to speak first. "You know what you did was wrong. It was dangerous. It was downright _stupid_," he said, not bothering to hide his scorn any. Santana merely nodded; he was right after all. "Santana, you've always been this way. You've always been a scrapper, like your brothers. But you can't be like this anymore. It's not about you. It's about that life you're carrying. You can't afford to act so selfishly and unthinkingly, or you're going to have to face some serious consequences you aren't ready for."

"I'm already not ready," she couldn't help saying, her voice small, like a little girl who was being scolded. Which, in truth is what she was right now. Her father was the only one who could make her feel this way, like a child. He sighed and put an arm around his daughter's shoulders, hugging her to his side. As his youngest child and only daughter, she was his weakness. As unhappy and disappointed as he was with her, he couldn't bare to see her so downtrodden.

"I understand that, San, I do." He kissed the top of her head lovingly before continuing talking. "But it's time to _get_ ready. You made a choice to have sex, and you made choices subsequent of that decision that lead you to where you are. You were grown enough to do that, and you need to be a grown-up now. It's not fair, but that's the reality of the situation. You have to make some changes with yourself."

"I know, Daddy." She leaned into his side and sighed wearily. "I understand." He placed another kiss on her hair and stood, extending a hand to her to help her up.

"Let's go home, baby."

* * *

Quinn was already at the house when the father and daughter pair returned from the hospital, waiting in Santana's room for her friend. Santana's mother wasn't home yet, and her father was leaving the girls alone so that he could go and talk to his wife about the day's events without Santana around. It could go either way with her mother, Santana knew. She would either be extremely angry or extremely sympathetic. She was glad her dad was the one telling her mother and would be the one to recieve her initial instinctual reaction. She sat cross legged on her bed with Quinn at her side, suddenly morose as she thought over what had happened with a clearer head now that she'd had time to truly think about it.

"Mercedes was right. I'm going to be a bad mom," Santana said sadly after a few moments of silently brooding. Quinn furrowed her brow and moved closer to her friend, placing hand on her shoulder.

"No you won't, Santana," Quinn assured her, to no avail. Santana simply shook her head sadly, refusing to be comforted.

"All I could think about after the fight was that everyone would know I was pregnant. I didn't give a damn about the baby," she admitted glumly. She was ashamed of herself... A good mother's first thought would have been their unborn child. A good mother wouldn't have let her temper get away from her and start a damn fight in the first place. But no, she had been worried about her popularity, and the fact that her secret was no longer a secret. "What kind of mother does that? You said so yourself, when you're pregnant, you're responsible for two lives. You wouldn't let people bump you in the hallway, and I'm throwing down with a girl three times my size without hesitation." Santana removed Quinn's hand from her shoulder and laid down on her bed, clutching her pillow to her chest and laying on her stomach. She kind of wished Quinn would go away so she could wallow in her ill-humor alone.

"Do you remember why?" Quinn asked after a long pause.

"Why what?" Santana's reply came muffled as she turned her face into the pillow.

"Why you got into the fight."

"Because Mercedes said I would be a bad mother!" Santana growled, as if Quinn were being stupid right now. Wasn't this just what they were talking about?

"Exactly. Santana, she hurt your feelings. You want to be a good mom."

"Well yeah," Santana said, rolling her eyes at her friends inane statements. "I don't know anyone who wants to be a bad mom."

"It scares you doesn't it? I mean it really scares you," Quinn ventured, laying down beside her friend and looking her in the eyes. Santana avoided her gaze expertly, saying nothing. Damn that Quinn and her apparent psychic abilities! It was like she didn't have a secret in the world when she was around. At least Brittany was too vapid to pick up on her innermost thoughts _that_ easily. "It's okay to be scared. I think all moms are scared of being bad mothers."

Santana bit back a response that she knew would hurt Quinn, as she was slowly learning it did no good to lash out at her friends just because she was hurt, no matter how much she wanted others to feel as poorly as she did. Instead she still said nothing. Suddenly Quinn gave a little chortle, surprising Santana. She coughed and wiped the smile off of her face when she saw the glare Santana was giving her.

"I'm sorry. But... you've already been kind of acting like a mother to Brittany for so long. Protecting her, entertaining her, humoring her... She's like a giant kid, and you're amazing with her." Santana had to smile at that. She didn't like to think people thought she was simply babying Brittany, when in fact she really did love the girl and enjoyed her company immensely. It was true Brittany was sometimes more like a child than a teen, but her childlike innocence was one of Santana's favorite traits in her friend. She had never thought though that just being a good friend to Brittany would mean she might be able to hack it as a mother. "I mean... you kiss the girl's boo-boos," Quinn added, this time not suppressing her laughter. Santana hadn't known that was something Quinn knew of, but it was true enough. "I think my point is, if you can care and love someone like that who is not even blood to you, you can manage to muster up some of the same for your actual child. Does that make sense?" Santana thought for a few seconds. She had a valid point she supposed.

"It does." She didn't say that she had had just about zero maternal feelings towards the baby she was carrying so far. She decided to assume that Quinn was right, and that the feelings would come along when she was ready.

"And after today I think you'll be more aware of yourself... No more fighting," Quinn said, slightly admonishing her friend. Santana nodded.

"No more fighting," she promised. She rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. "I suppose I have to apologize to Mercedes?"

"I wouldn't go that far. But you can't blame her for fighting back, can you? You'd have killed her," Quinn pointed out, smirking slightly. Santana was impossibly small but also shockingly fierce.

"True enough," Santana agreed, smirking in unison with her friend. She remembered something that had stuck out through the haze she'd been in ever since the fight had been abruptly ended. "Did you seriously tell Kurt you were going to fight Mercedes?"

"I was just mad... I wouldn't really," Quinn explained, laying down next to Santana. Santana moved her head over so that Quinn could share her pillow.

"I know you wouldn't. But thanks for saying it anyway."

"Sure." After a few moments, Quinn looked Santana in the eye, a hesitant expression on her face. "I know it'll be hard, but I think you need to squash this Mercedes mess. Otherwise Glee Club will be extremely awkward." Santana agreed, although it would take a heavy amount of pride swallowing to let Mercedes off the hook that easily. She also knew that this pregnancy would be hard enough without just adding more fuel to the fire. She would settle this Mercedes thing, without resorting to using her fists.

**A/N Part 2: As always, review away! Comments and suggestions welcome. **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I always mean to be faster with these updates, seriously... Baby Daddy drama starts next chapter, for those of you who are dying for this story to reach that point, haha! I know it's been a long road! Hang in there. It's worth it. As always reviews, comments, suggestions, all welcome!**

Today would be hell. It was the day after Santana's fight with Mercedes and she just knew today would be pure hell. First, she'd have to deal with the fact that by now everyone knew she was pregnant. If they didn't, it'd be a friggin' miracle, and in all of Santana's sixteen years she'd never witnessed a miracle so she wasn't expecting God to trot one out for her now. Especially after the whole sex before marriage and carrying a bastard thing. Nope, there would be no divine intervention for her any time soon, so she'd have to deal on her own.

Secondly, she'd have to confront Mercedes. Or be confronted, one of the two. And undoubtedly also by the Glee Club. Oh god, they'd probably _sing_ about it!

On her walk to school all she could think about were possible songs the Glee Club would choose to convey their feelings. Would they seriously have time to learn and rehearse songs in time to belt them at her by the end of the school day? If Rachel got wind, she knew it was entirely possible. She also knew Rachel would definitely know, and that the whole club would. Between Tina, Kurt, and Mercedes, the rest would have been undoubtedly told even before the end of the school day yesterday. Ah... yes, she'd missed Glee yesterday... And so had Quinn. _They_ had been there though. Yep, the Glee Club definitely knew. Wonderful.

She rounded the corner and McKinley High loomed several blocks away in the distance. Other students were walking too, and she spotted Brittany waiting in her usual place by the Durant Street sign, where they met in the morning to finish walking to school together. Brittany didn't see her until she was right next to her, and when she did she let out a gasp and hugged Santana fiercely.

"Santana! Oh, I heard what happened! Is everything okay?" she asked, her voice very concerned. Santana didn't mention that she had been the one to tell Brittany what had happened in the first place, and she'd already been informed that nothing bad had really happened. She hugged Brittany back loosely and gently tugged herself out of her friend's death grip. At least she didn't have to worry about anything Brittany would have to say.

"I'm fine, Britt. The baby is fine too," she added in a low voice before Brittany could ask, her eyes sweeping the streets for anyone who was paying attention to them. To her surprise no one was. She made a tiny noise of satisfaction and linked her pinky with Brittany's as they started to walk. When they were close to the school and there got to be a higher concentration of their peers, she took on her normal superior air, head held high and eyes straight forward, her face set in a cold glare. She braced herself for the onslaught that was sure to come.

It wasn't long before her first stare: an ex-fellow Cheerio gaped at her openly as they walked up the stairs and Santana reached for the school door. She paid her no heed, and carried on with her chilled appearance as she deftly ignored what felt like continual staring. It was only when they'd reached their lockers that Santana started to hear the whispers.

"Did you hear? She's the newest Juno."  
"What's Sue feeding those Cheerios, fertility drugs?"  
"The only thing she was ever good at was back handsprings and laying on her back."  
"I heard the whole football team has screwed her."  
"Whose the one stupid enough to knock _her_ up?"  
"Bitch still scares me even though she's pregnant."

She said nothing and did nothing to acknowledge the steady trickle of offending speech that filtered through the buzz of the busy school. She pretended she couldn't hear a damn thing. Brittany on the other hand was starting to get angry, and before Santana could stop her she barked at a boy who'd uttered one obscenity or another in Santana's direction.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to kick you in the face!" The other kids around were now staring at Brittany as the Cheerio fumed, cheeks red. Santana held onto Brittany's elbow in an effort to stop her, although she was half inclined to let her friend do as she please.

"Don't bother. They're not worth it," Santana said in a low (yet highly menacing) tone. "None of them are worth the breath it takes to bitch them out. They can't even say shit to my face, they have to do it behind my back. They're _cowards_, Brittany." She threw out the insult with ease, surveying the gaggle of teenagers lurking around with haught, her voice now at a decent enough volume she knew they would all hear her. She drew herself up taller, and flicked her eyes icily over the ones she had heard most clearly in their utterings. "And they obviously don't know me if they think I won't end their reps so _completely_ and so _effectively_ they'll wish they'd fall into an alternate universe where their lives weren't complete torture without so much as a second thought-" she paused for effect before narrowing her eyes once more and continuing, "If _any_ of them try to step to me."

Every face in the hallway looked away, and Santana smirked, pleased with the reaction. Brittany still looked pissed, but was easily lead away by Santana, who effortlessly parted the gathered student body in her wake as they walked to first period. She was almost giddy enough to smile at how much power she still held, Cheerio or not. She'd have to thank Brittany later for sparking that doozy of a speech, knowing that would quell at least very obvious gossip until they were out of school. She didn't have much faith that when she returned to school that August she'd be as effective at stomping out their petty yet malicious chatter, not with an obvious baby belly constantly reminding her peers of her plight. She would settle for the remaining two weeks of school and the rest of the summer to play themselves out semi-peacefully.

She knew right away that Artie knew when he gave her a small, slightly pitying smile and wave as she and Brittany walked into their first class. She didn't respond, only shifting her gaze elsewhere when he turned slightly to get her attention. After a few minutes of trying he faced the front of the class again. Their teacher had just begun the lesson (which naturally she wasn't listening to) when Finn clumsily burst through the classroom door. Santana's head jerked up from filing her nails, and her gaze automatically locked with his. He looked worried but just stood there.

"Mr. Hudson, can I help you with something? Did you get lost?" Mr. Sealy asked him sarcastically, his hand still pointing to a map of whatever country they were supposed to be learning about. Santana gave Finn a slight nod and he turned to Mr. Sealy, clearing his throat.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. This doesn't look like my math class... I'll just... go," he said with unease, backing out of the classroom and shutting the door behind him.

"Excuse the interupption folks," Mr. Sealy said, turning his attention back to the giant map tacked up on the white board. "And you'll see here that-" Santana's hand shot up and he gave her a weary look. "Ms. Lopez? Do you have something to say about Greece?"

"I need to use the lady's room," she told him, not waiting for permission before she got up from her seat. A look to Brittany told her not to follow, and she didn't. She wrinkled her nose cheekily at Mr. Sealy over her shoulder as she walked out of the room. Finn was waiting outside for her, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. To her surprise, Puck was also in the hallway, arms crossed. Finn looked relieved to see her, and Santana raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. Then suddenly a look of anger washed over his face, which further confused Santana. Puck wore a similar expression, but then again he almost always looked like that, usually when their on/off again relationship was off. What the hell was their problem? Surely not that she and Puck weren't dating; they weren't even having sex any more.

"Why didn't you call me?" Finn asked her, standing up a little straighter. Despite his slightly harsh tone, he didn't meet her eyes, instead remaining rather meek. Santana almost rolled her eyes, but before she could Puck spoke.

"Yeah, what the hell? You go to the hospital and you can't even give at least one of us a call? And what were you doing fucking fighting? Are you retarded or something? Even I know you can't run around doing that while your eggo is preggo," Puck spat, eyes blazing. Santana was completely taken aback, and stood with her mouth parted slightly in shock while she tried to figure out what the hell was going on. Why didn't she call them? What? Since when were they vested in this pregnancy past finding out who the father was? She wasn't even about to begin to believe they cared about _her_, even slightly. She wasn't that foolish.

"Dude, chill. She doesn't have mental issues." Finn said to his friend, although Santana could tell he wasn't exactly sure that true as he shot her an wary look, asking her if that was right or not. She felt color rise to her face, but she spoke with a more gentle tone that she wanted to use.

"Seriously? I'm like, not some invalid who can't handle herself. It's called being independent," she told them. She was trying to remain calmer than she felt, and slightly more diplomatic. If she delved deep, she could understand where they were coming from. But she had to dig awfully deep, and even then it still didn't make a whole lot of sense. "Why do either of you care anyway?" she spat despite herself, both hands on her hips, and chin slightly in the air.

"Sorry," Puck said halfheartedly, and Santana knew it was for the retard comment. He ran his hand over his still shaved head and sighed. "I don't get it either. But when Kurt was telling us what happened all I could think about was the baby. And it kind of sucks donkey balls you didn't even let us know what was going on."

"One of us is the dad, Santana," Finn chimed in. "We need to know this kind of stuff." Santana returned to her soul searching place and again tried to "get" them. It worked slightly better this time.

"Excuse me. I wasn't aware," she said showing more tenativeness than she intended, but she surely felt it. It was the truth. She didn't expect any sort of emotional support from either boy, not even after they'd found out who the father was. She certainly hadn't expected for them to be so freakishly attached to a child who at this point they had no clue to whom it belonged to.

"Well... now you know," Puck stated as his face softened just enough to make Santana believe he was no longer angry. Finn nodded in agreeance.

"You're not alone in any part of this, Santana," Finn added. Santana felt an uncommon prick of tears in her eyes, although she couldn't place exactly why she was having feelings right now. Oh, crying _yesterday_ had made perfect sense, but this just didn't equate at all.

Puck uncrossed his arms with a sigh and stepped closer to Santana, and brought her into his arms, hugging her. She was reminded of the times he'd held her in a show of romanticism when they were dating, and she had to admit it felt nice. She didn't allow herself to hug him back, of course, instead remaining stiff in his arms. She ceased her waterworks almost as fast as the urge had snuck up on her. She pulled out of his grasp and stepped back, smoothing her shirt down nonchalantly.

"Thanks." It was one word; it was simple, but it expressed exactly what she felt: no more, no less. Finn gave her a warm smile, and her heart soared a little. She brought it back down into her chest easily as the next words left his mouth.

"So... like the whole school knows now... I've heard at least five people talking about it this morning." The fact that her face fell slightly did not go unnoticed.

"Who do I need to slushie around here?" Puck asked, nudging her with his elbow very gently, a grin on his face. She smiled back, shaking her head.

"Britt and I handled it this morning. I think we'll be okay at least until next semester. Then you may have to take up a charge account at Buddy's Gas Station." It was clearly a joke, and both boys laughed even if they knew it was probably going to end up being true. But they didn't have to think about it right now, right? The three parted ways, Santana returning to her class and the boys going back to wherever they came from in the first place. It wasn't even nine am and Santana was completely done with drama for the day.

* * *

Brittany came up to her before lunch, all a twitter and kind of jittery. Santana rarely saw Brittany like this so she automatically knew something was wrong. So much with being done with drama for the day. Neither girl spoke a word as they rushed to their lockers, and then Santana pounced anxiously.

"What happened, Britt?"

"Coach Sylvester wants to see you in her office... Now." Brittany was obviously distressed; she knew as well as Santana that Sue would tear Santana apart once she found out the reason her head Cheerio quit the squad so unceremoniously. Brittany fidgeted and looked on the verge of tears as she wrung her hands together, not able to look Santana in the eye.

"No way." Santana wasn't going to subject herself to whatever humiliation Sue had in store for her by walking right into her lair. She wasn't one to beg for punishment, and today already was sucking ass. She did not need to face Coach right now. Brittany exhaled as if she was really having trouble with this herself.

"She said if you didn't, she'd come to Glee Club and have her piece then," she explained, still wringing her hands. "You should just go, San... If you wait it will just make it worse!" Brittany had a slightly desperate plea in her voice, and Santana knew that Brittany was doing her caring too much thing. It was sweet but at the same time made Santana's stomach turn a little bit. She'd have to go, for Brittany's sake if anything.

"You're right," she admitted after a few more seconds of watching Brittany jitter. "I'll speak with her now and then that'll be the end of it," she said surely. She put her hands on Brittany's shoulders and looked into her friend's eyes, Brittany meeting her brown eyes with watery blue ones. She breathed in deeply and out with a _whoosh _sound, and Brittany did the same, her eyes locked on Santana's. When Brittany seemed calmer Santana gave her the best smile she could fake. "It'll be okay. She can't touch us anymore ever since she broke Karen's wrist. And remember what I told you?" Brittany nodded her head and wiped a tear that had managed to fall despite the soothing.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones..." Brittany said slowly, the emotion still in her voice.

"But words will never hurt me," Santana recited along with her friend. It had been their mantra to get through the especially gruelling practices or whenever Sue went on a rampage, screaming and yelling at the squad for hours on end. Sue was brutal, but Santana could take it. She'd had tons of practice, right? She squared her shoulders and proceeded to flash Brittany yet another faked smile. Brittany looked on forlornly as Santana walked away, confidently striding in the direction of Sue's office.

Santana knocked on the office door quietly, silently praying Sue wasn't in. That wasn't the case, much to her dismay.

"If that's you, Will, go and wash your over-producted hair and then don't come back. If it's someone else, come in but watch your step!" came Sue's bark of a voice. Santana let herself in, her eyes automatically at her feet looking for whatever might be on the ground. She could see nothing, so she straightened her head back up and smoothed down her shirt. Sue was sitting behind her desk, busy madly scribbling on a piece of paper. When she looked up, she gave Santana a strained and sickly smile. "Lopez. Sit." She gestured to a chair across from her desk with her pen, and Santana did as she was bade, feeling an odd sense of deja vu.

How often had she sat in this very spot and plotted and schemed with Sue about how to destroy Glee Club? And now it was literally one of the only things she had left and would do anything to preserve it. She almost laughed at the irony but was halted when she realized Sue was staring at her.

"You wanted to speak with me?" She had to bite off adding "coach", reminding herself that Sue wasn't her coach anymore. Sue said nothing for a few moments, instead setting down her pen and holding her hands under her chin, fixing Santana with a curious yet hateful stare. Santana refused to drop her own gaze, and sat waiting. They remained that way, both unwavering, for a solid two minutes until Sue spoke.

"Thanks for saving me the trouble of kicking you off the squad, Lopez." She genuinely sounded grateful, but Santana was not put at ease by the sentiment that accompanied the tone. She raised one eyebrow slightly, knowing Sue wasn't done. "I should have known how this would pan out. What I can't figure out is if you're following in your peoples' footsteps, and starting your rapid production of Spanish-speaking spawn at an early age, or if you're desperate enough to jump on Q's baby-making coat-tails in a ploy for attention. Either way, what you really are has come to light: a sheep. You always were a follower." Sue had regained her biting menace, and Santana felt the sting of her words as if she'd been struck with a willow switch. She ignored the blatantly racist statement, instead focusing on the fact she was being called a farm animal notorious for being unable to think on it's own, instead blindly going along with the flock. The truth stung a bit harder than she thought it should have, but she recognized that as the reason it hurt in the first place: it _was_ true. Of course her getting pregnant had nothing to do with wanted to emullate Quinn or an attention ploy. That part was just stupid, even Santana knew that.

Sue leaned in closer, and pointed an accusing finger at her. "And frankly that's not what Sue's all about." Sue then leaned back and picked up her pen again, her attention no longer on Santana fully. "So thank you for leaving on your own accord. Leaves me more energy for more important things, like working on routines for next year, or goat wrestling." Santana only made a slight face at how weird that sounded, and knew better than to think of it any more than she absolutely had to. She waited a few seconds longer, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Sue pointed at the door and snapped her fingers, not looking up from her scribbling. "Now get out, I think your morning sickness is contagious. And watch for the tarantula that is running around here somewhere." Santana did not need telling twice, and made to get up. Sue looked at her suddenly, eyes blazing, freezing Santana mid-rise from her seat. "You were going places, Santana. You were the best this squad has seen in a long time. I can't fathom why someone with such talent would just toss it out the window, and for what? A little pink or blue bundle of need? It's the most ridiculous piece of crap I've ever heard. But I'm going to tell you something." Santana waited, holding her breath. She was confused and kind of lost, and just wanted to leave. Sue pointed her finger at Santana and made a jabbing motion. "When you pop that sucker out of there and you get back into tip top shape, come back to the squad. Sue Sylvester thinks even less of teen mothers than she does of pregnant teens, but like I said, you're the best I've seen in awhile. You're a hard worker, and you're ruthless and conniving. Just what this squad requires. Don't speak any baby at practices and you can have your captaincy back." Santana waffled for a few seconds for words to say, but none came easily. Did Sue really just say that? No, she was dreaming. That was ludicrous... and yet suddenly she was flooded with relief. She could be a Cheerio again! She smiled widely at Sue and got up the rest of the way.

"Thanks, Coach." Sue looked away again, merely nodding her head.

"Go on and go. I've no time for mushy tripe."

As she walked to the cafeteria to rejoin Brittany, Santana was puzzled. That seriously wasn't as bad as it should have been... Not at all. In fact it went... Well. None of this made any sense to her. In all of her dealings with Sue, she'd never thought a conversation like that could even occur. She wondered if Sue was getting soft. First saving Glee for another year, now holding her spot on the squad for her as she went through Baby Gate 2.0? Whatever. She wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth or whatever that hickish expression was.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Me again! Here's the long awaited chapter haha. We also have another song stuck in here... Very Glee-esque. Again it won't happen often but if it fits in I'll try. Anyhoo, this was another that should have probably been two chapters but I'm tired of being mean to you guys LOL! Have fun! As always, comments, suggestions, reviews, all welcome! **

"Why are _you_ scared?" Santana snarked, as she, Brittany, and Tina (yep, Tina) were walking to Glee Club, a good half hour before today's session was even due to begin. Brittany was a sickly offwhite and was obviously stressed, despite what Santana had told her about being able to come back to Cheerios. Tina shared the same expression, although Santana's comment was definitely aimed at her and not Brittany as she also had a gleam of fear in her countenance.

"No reason..." Tina said slowly, nervously toying with her back pack strap. She swallowed and avoided Santana's gaze, which she could feel as easily as a hot iron pressed against her face. She'd been surprised when the two other girls had easily accepted her presence when she'd started walking along side them, and neither had said anything to her when she fixed her stride to match theirs.

The fact was Santana was grateful that Tina had been there the day before, and if the nerdy-Goth girl wanted to walk with them to Glee Club, she guessed that was okay. She'd never really minded Tina except for the sheer amount of tears that girl could muster up in a matter of seconds. Besides being overly emotional, she was okay. She did what she wanted and didn't really care about what other people thought, and that was cool.

Tina got up the nerve and met Santana's eyes. "Except the fact that you have that "I'm a great white shark and I destroy everything in my path" look on your face. Again."

"Well you don't have to worry about it, the look's not for you." Santana cracked her neck as a nervous tic as she fixed her eyes forward. She was going into the choir room prepared for Mercedes if she decided to cop an attitude with her. They didn't hesitate when they got to the door, and Santana exhaled deeply as she scanned the room on her way to sit down in her usual spot.

Like she had expected for being so early, no one was around, but there was already a mic stand out with a few stools arranged around it. As if by some silent cue, Mercedes, Rachel, Puck, and Kurt came in, and seemed a little startled to see the other three in the choir room already. Mercedes seemed most stunned, but managed a smile.

"Santana, I have something I need to say to you..." Mercedes said, taking her place on the first stool directly behind the mic. Kurt and Rachel sat too, flanking her on either side. Puck winked at Santana, and sat down at the piano.  
Santana looked back at Brittany with a confused face, and Brittany shrugged. "What's going on here?"

"I have less of a clue than you do, duh," Brittany said, biting her lip and looking underneath the piano as if there may be a hint under there, to which Puck chuckled.

Tina shifted her weight uncomfortably and then sat down. With a hesitant wave she beckoned the other two girls to join her. Raising one eyebrow questioningly, Santana sat, and Brittany followed like a puppy. Santana did not believe this, they _were _going to sing! How did these things happen? They seriously must have worked on this last night or this morning. What freaks...

Brittany reached for her hand and Santana took it out of habit. She might as well sit back and take whatever was coming; once these geeks were set on singing they wouldn't rest until the last note. She didn't get why Puck was in on it, but she was sure she'd find out soon enough. She glanced at Tina to see if she knew this was going to happen, and from the color in the other girl's cheeks she could tell she'd had at least some idea. She leaned in closer to Tina and scowled.

"Fair warning would have been nice," she only half growled. Part of her was intrigued, although she'd never admit it. She turned and waited, giving Mercedes a "Get on with it" motion of her arm. Puck began to play, and Mercedes started singing when he gave a nod of his head.

"_Will you listen to my story? It'll be just a minute. How can I explain? Whatever happened here, I never meant to hurt you. How can I cause you so much pain_?" Santana sat up straighter. What was this, a song apology? What the hell happened to just saying "I'm sorry", or even a freakin' card? But part of her softened as the song continued, Mercedes' voice now joined by Kurt and Rachel's.

"_When I say I'm sorry, will you believe me? Listen to my story, say you won't leave me. When I say I'm sorry, can you forgive me? When I say I'll always be there, will you believe, will you believe in me_?" Song apology it was indeed, but the lame-ness wore off as they sang because the emotion in their voices was obvious. Santana couldn't help but feel it even if she wasn't overly willing to. Ultimately this is what she wanted right, for all this grief and nastiness to be put behind them? Brittany's hand squeezed hers tighter, and Santana sneaked her a small smile before turning back to the trio in front of them.

"_All the words I come up with, they're like gasoline on flames. There's no excuse, no explaination. Believe me, if I could undo what I did wrong, I'd give away all that I own. When I say I'm sorry, will you believe me? Listen to my story, say you believe me. When I say I'm sorry, can you forgive me? When I say I'll always be there, will you believe? If I told you I'd been cleaning my soul, and if I promise you I'll regain control, will you open your door?"  
_

Kurt stood up, and let his clear high voice ring in._ "And let me in."  
_

Rachel stood as well, a sad smile on her face for her line:_ "Take me for who I am." _Mercedes rose last, and the three were shoulder to shoulder as Mercedes belted the last lyric. _"And not who I've been_."

When they were finished, Brittany and Tina clapped, both with tears running down their faces. Santana blinked back her own with a little swallow, but it wasn't enough to stop them from falling. Yes, Santana Lopez had been touched. The simple act of singing a song was undoubtedly worth more than any words they could have said. Damn Glee Club, she thought with a wry smile to herself.

Wordlessly she got up from her chair and went to Mercedes. Mercedes opened her arms for Santana with a nervous smile, and without thinking Santana hugged her, and not lightly. Rachel and Kurt joined in, and Brittany and Tina watched from a distance, smiles on their faces despite their tears. "I'm sorry"s and "I forgive you"s flowed freely, and before they knew it everyone was smiling.

"Girls," Puck remarked from his seat at the piano still, although in a soft, teasing voice. He too was grinning, pleased with the outcome.

"That was beautiful, guys. This is what the club is about," came Mr. Shue's voice from where he leaned in the doorway. He looked awful proud as he watched them, which elicited sheepish grins from the singers. Santana wiped her eyes and pulled out from the group embrace, clearing her throat.

"Yeah well, it's got to be good for something, right?" she joked, a wavering smile on her face. Turns out Glee was good for _a lot_ of things. A creative outlet, another extracurricular on her college application, and dare she say it... friends. Mr. Shue flashed his smile wider and beckoned for them to sit down.

"Alright, the rest of the gang should be arriving soon. Let's get ourselves together before they show." With giggles the girls (and Kurt) fixed their faces and regained their composures, each taking a seat.

They were talking animatedly about what had taken place that morning when the others trickled in slowly. It was rather relieving to be able to talk to all of them about what was going on with all of this crazy ass drama. Santana hadn't realized she'd been keeping so much bottled up inside... And she'd had several pairs of sympathetic ears at her disposal this whole time. Not that she was revealing secrets or anything like that, that's just not how Santana was. But speaking with them even using generalities made her feel better.

Quinn was the last to join them, and she sat directly in front of Santana, turned in her seat so she could face her friend.

"I can't believe how easy this is for you. They found out I was pregnant and turned on me instantly, you have to threaten them once and suddenly it's all rainbows and glitter around here," she said, although not with even a trace of bitterness. Her tone was one of complete awe.

"Well I'm not sure you were ever as scary as Santana is," Finn joked, which earned him an eyeroll from his ex-girlfriend and chuckles of agreement from the rest of the group.

"I guess not," Quinn said simply. Santana wondered why Quinn wasn't bringing up the Cheerios thing, but assumed she would take her time with reacting to that news and would do so in private. That made Santana feel guilty, knowing that she'd been offered her spot back on the Cheerios and yet Sue barely acknowledged Quinn existed any more. Quinn seemed satisfied with not returning, but Santana just couldn't bear the thought of not being a part of the squad. She was surprised at how much that little fact had gotten her down, and now that that wrinkle had been smoothed out, she felt a hell of a lot better.

They spent the rest of the time simply going around and riffing on their favorite songs of the moment, joining in when they knew a song and simply listening when they didn't. It was very relaxing, and just what Santana needed after such a stupidly stressful day. Goofing off with the rest of the club was a great distraction, if anything. And it was obviously great for Brittany, who had finally returned to a normal palor and was grinning wildly, dancing off the cuff to whatever the other kids were singing despite if she knew the song or not. This was a relief for Santana, who was beginning to worry that her own crap had started to affect Brittany far more than it should. Seeing her so carefree and happy made Santana feel the same way, if only for the length of Glee Club.

Artie had just started a hilarious rendition of "If You Leave Her" with Kurt, using Mercedes and Matt as their props for the song. Everyone was in stitches as Artie sang the girl's part and Kurt sang the boy's, swaying and acting out the song with Mercedes and Matt acting like puppets in their whimsy. Just as the song was reaching it's climax, Santana felt her phone continually vibrate. She checked it and frowned at the unfamiliar number. Without saying anything she got up and answered, her greeting mingling with the last few lines of the song the boys were singing until she had reached the choir room door, where she stood with one hand over the opposite ear. When they realized she was on the phone, everyone took five, chattering in quiet voices so as to allow Santana to hear her caller. When she realized who it was calling, her face fell.

"Yes, this is she," she said into the phone, and her eyes flicked over to Brittany. Brittany frowned and hurried over to her friend, unsure what was going on. She waited with a pain faced as Santana held up a finger, gesturing for her to just hold on. When the others noticed their faces, they hushed and waited, watching Santana with keen interest. Santana nodded her head even though the person couldn't see her. "Yes. Yes, thank you. You too." She snapped her phone shut and exhaled deeply, closing her eyes and wrinkling her face up slightly.

"San, who was that?" Brittany asked as she fidgeted. So much for Brittany finally relaxing; the woebegone expression had returned to her face in seconds.

"That was the hospital," Santana answered, trying to use a tone that let Brittany know not to fret, but failing. She looked over at the rest of the Glee kids, her eyes flickering between Puck and Finn. "They had the results of the paternity test." Mr. Shue got up from the stool he'd been sitting on, giving her a worried look.

"Do you guys want to do this in private?" he asked, gesturing towards his office. A couple of the kids scowled at him for attempting to take the drama away from where they could watch it unfold. Santana shook her head. Why put it off? They'd know as soon as either boy walked back out of the office who had gotten the news.

"Santana?" Puck asked, setting his guitar down and walking over to her. Finn didn't follow, instead rooted where he sat, eyes squeezed shut. "Who?" Santana waited a few seconds, wanting to allow them the freedom they had before one of them found out they were going to be a dad for just the tiniest bit longer. Once she spoke these words, their lives would change forever. She wasn't ready and she knew sure as hell the boys weren't either. With a sigh, she locked her eyes with Puck's.

"It's Finn's."

After the initial shock, Puck was the first to react, glancing over at Finn.

"What do you know, it's actually yours this time," he said, trying to throw a joke but falling flat. Quinn looked at him incredulously and shot him a dirty look. Santana ignored him, her eyes fixed on Finn's crestfallen face. She wished now they'd been in private, if only for the first few moments of dismay and disbelief.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice soft and low. She wasn't sure who she was hoping to be the father, but in this moment it didn't matter. She walked over to him and sat on the floor in front of him, unconcerned with whatever the rest of the Glee Club members were doing. She wanted so badly to reach out and take his hand, or touch his shoulder, do something to let him know she felt for him and that she understood. But she didn't. He was probably angry with her for doing this to him. The fleeting thought that maybe she should have gone through with that abortion after all crossed her mind as she watched the devastation spread across Finn's face.

"I just... need a little bit..." Finn said slowly as his head dropped into his hands. She could tell he was trying not to cry. Without thinking any further about it Santana laid a hand gingerly on his knee, peering up at him with worried eyes. Rachel looked on concernedly, noting the tense moment, but could not stand to keep her mouth shut.

"It's over with us, Finn. I understand that this is a lot for you to handle but I don't feel it would be beneficial for us to remain a couple." Santana wondered vaguely how Rachel could be so callous, and was about to say something when Finn did.

"Do you think I really care right now? Do you think that our relationship is suddenly that important, more important than me finding out I'm going to be a father?" he said in a low voice, not even bothering to look at Rachel. "I'm sorry but that's garbage," he spat, covering his face again with his hands. With that Rachel flounced out of the choir room, head held high, even as tears coursed down her cheeks. No one else made any moves. "This whole thing is garbage," Finn continued in a somber voice. "I'm freakin' sixteen years old. I made the mistake of letting a high school whore talk me into sleeping with her. And I got her pregnant. Now I'm _really _screwed. If that's not garbage, I don't know what is."

As if the contact burned, Santana drew her hand back from where it had been resting on Finn's knee, her face drawn into a pout. She had been expecting him to be upset, yes, but... He'd had warning didn't he? He'd had time to think about the possibility of the baby being his. Certainly he'd acted like he had: he'd been supportive of her, making the calls needed and had all this big talk about being there for the baby and telling her she wasn't alone. Didn't that happen just this morning? Where was that compassion now?

Santana sat there completely speechless when Quinn stepped up, a hand on Santana's shoulder in quiet reassurance. Quinn's hand snaked down her arm and grabbed her elbow, pulling her up off of her feet. She felt Quinn push her towards the choir room door gently. But her feet wouldn't move.

"Finn, stop talking. Before you say something else you'll regret," Quinn told Finn imperiously. Finn looked up at her from between his fingers and frowned slightly as if he didn't believe Quinn's words. She didn't back down, raising a single eyebrow at him. "And trust me, you'll regret those words soon enough." A bleary look around the room revealed that the rest of the Glee Club was staring open mouthed at Finn. They couldn't believe what he'd said any more than Santana could. When Finn saw this, he jumped up, brushing past Quinn and Santana as he headed for the door, cheeks flushed.

"Santana, I'm sorry," she thought she heard him mumble as he left the room. She couldn't be sure but maybe that was what it was. Wordlessly Brittany came to her side and took her hand, swinging it slightly as she tried to get Santana to look her in the eyes. Santana let herself crumple into her friend as she began to cry. She understood where he was coming from but why did he have to be so God damned mean about it?

With a crash, the choir room door flew back open. To everyone's surprise (as evidenced by several loud and conspicuous gasps) it was Finn. He made a bee-line for Santana and Brittany, and stood awkwardly in front of them as Santana continued to cry. He felt ashamed of himself... What was he doing making her cry like that? What kind of man behaved that way? That's what he wanted to be, right? A man? Not a scared little boy. Everyone else in the room promptly left at the silent urge of Mr. Shue, who was done being witness to this tangibly private moment.

Without acknowledging him verbally, Brittany carefully slipped Santana over to Finn, and his natural reaction was to clutch her close to him. Brittany gave him a measured look that had a clear meaning... _You fix this, and fix it now_. After placing a quick peck on Santana's cheek, she followed the other Glee kids and left the pair alone to their business.

Santana was so tiny in his arms, and she felt frail to him as she looked up, completely and utterly confused as to why or how she ended up in his embrace. Confusion quickly gave way to feelings of hurt and embarrassment. She pulled herself from his grasp, or at least attempted to. He didn't let her, instead hugging her tighter. With a hiccup she relented and gave up. Like she could really outmuscle him. She stared into his eyes, her pain fairly obvious.

"What the hell did I say?" he whispered, shaking his head. "I was hurt and I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it, okay?"

"But you did," Santana retorted hotly, again finding her will to try and wrest herself from his hold. "You meant every word. It's fine, Finn. I can do this on my own. I don't need you." Lord knew she didn't need _him_. He released her, and allowed her a few seconds to fume, as she had every right to.

"Santana, I take it back. Can you just... give me a little bit to come to terms with this? I need some time to get used to the idea."

"_I_ didn't get any time," Santana threw at him, arms crossing. "I slept with some stupid jock to try and help him out and I got knocked up. It didn't mean anything! _That's_ garbage! You're supposed to have kids when someone you care about. Not a one night stand."

"I know, Santana. Trust me, I know that. It was a mistake. But it happened, right? And now..." He let his gaze rest on her stomach.

"And now," she said simply, nodding her head slowly. Finn was right; she didn't like to admit to the fact, but it was the truth. This wasn't what either of them had planned. Santana almost scoffed at herself. Yes, because people _plan_ to be teen parents. They meant nothing to each other. But they had to deal with the situation they, and no one else, had gotten themselves into. Together, with whatever connotations that held for them in the future, they had to face the biggest challenge of their short sixteen years.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Me again! Look at this, you barely had to wait for an update! WOOT WOOT! Carry on dear readers!**

Santana hated nothing more than waiting. Part of her felt like she should be there when Finn told his mother the news, but he'd told her that since she'd done it alone, he could too. It would probably be easier for him that way anyway, she thought, explaining to his mom that he'd had random sex and it had lead to a random baby being made. Finn was supposed to call and tell her what was going on when he was done dropping the bombshell for the second time in his life, although at least this time they had solid proof it was his.

She and Brittany were sitting on her front porch with their legs dangling over the edge, listening to a single iPod, each with an earbud in one ear. Santana was growing restless though as time went on, the wait wearing her thin patience down even further. It was already getting dusky out. "Let's go to the park," she announced suddenly, hopping up and taking the earbud out of her own ear. That would give them something else to do besides just sitting. Brittany went along with it, handing over the other earbud to Santana, happy with the change in plans. She would never deny the chance to go to the park anyway, and Santana knew that.

"Race you to the swings!" Brittany cried excitedly, taking off down the sidewalk for the park, leaving Santana to catch up to her as she shoved the iPod into her front short's pocket.

"No fair!" Santana called after the tall blonde, although she easily caught up with her. They ran the entire six blocks to the small park they'd played at since they could walk, neck and neck. Each girl dove for a swing, Brittany landing stomach first and laughing. Santana sat as quickly as she could, but she knew Brittany had already won with her dive. "Cheater!" she teased, slightly out of breath. "You know I can't belly flop anymore!"

"I won fair and square," Brittany retorted, still swinging on her stomach. She knew Santana wasn't really angry that she had lost. "Run faster next time!" Santana stuck out her tongue at her friend, and dragged her feet in the sand as she swung slowly. She watched as Brittany changed positions, now sitting in the swing properly, and swung herself higher and higher.

"Woo! Yay Brittany!" she cheered, clapping her hands for her friend. Brittany just laughed and continued swinging, high enough so that the chains went slack and Brittany jolted the swing set when the chains pulled taught again with a pop on her swoop back towards the earth. Santana didn't feel like trying to keep up with Brittany, but she did manage to pick up momentum, if only to entertain her momentarily.

Sighing impatiently she took out her phone and attempted to text Finn. "I can't text and swing at the same time," she observed out loud, slowing herself down after she'd messed up the word "what" several times due to the motion of the swing. Brittany simply shrugged, as best she could with her arms stick straight, and both hands on the swing chains as she swung down.

"Who can? I can barely swing and stay concious at the same time," she said honestly. Santana hid an amused expression at her friend's admission. "Did Finn text you?"

"No not yet. I'm just asking him if he told her."

"Your baby will be cute at least," Brittany said loudly over the chains popping again. "Maybe the baby will have your mouth and Finn's eyes. That would be cute!" Santana thought it over for a few seconds before nodding, her swing now completely stopped.

"It totally would be. I hope the baby is tall like him though," she added, looking off to the right as she mentally pictured a meshing of Finn and her features onto a tiny person. Who was she kidding, any of her offspring would be smokin'. She must have said that comment outloud because Brittany called out to her questioningly.

"Can babies _be_ smokin'?" Santana opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by her phone beeping, alerting her to a new text message. She flipped open her phone. "_Finnocence, 9:33pm: yea. meet me jamie's in 20_". She frowned at the curt message. She didn't exactly want to talk with Finn face to face at the (only) local coffee shop, especially when he was bound to be... emotional. She had her own crap to handle; she didn't lean on anybody when she told _her_ parents. But at the same time, she wanted to hear what his mother had had to say, even if she wasn't sure exactly why. Plus she did like bawl on him yesterday. Maybe she owed him.

"Britt, I gotta meet Finn at Jamie's. Do you want to wait for me at my house?" Santana asked. Brittany's face fell a little bit at the thought of Santana leaving her even for a tiny bit. Lately it seemed like she was always running off without her. "I'll bring you back a shake," Santana crooned with a smile, knowing Brittany wouldn't pass up ice cream in any form.

"Okay! Only if it's chocolate." With that, Brittany flew from the swing, landing gracefully on her feet in a perfect landing. She turned and held a hand out for Santana's.

"Totally," Santana replied, taking her best friend's hand and hopping up. They walked back to Santana's house, and Santana walked on grudgingly as Brittany let herself in the front door, intent on watching a "baby" movie that Santana would never let her watch if she was there with her.

It was only a few blocks to the coffee shop, and Santana arrived just as Finn pulled up and parked by the curb. He waved at her as he turned the car off and pulled the key out of the ignition. She lifted her hand lazily and wiggled her fingers slowly, acknowledging him without being too obvious. She stood outside of the door and waited for him, watching him climb out of his car and walk over to her with interest, checking him out. He didn't look like he'd been crying. That was good at least; she wouldn't have to deal with that. She could not handle man-tears, that much she knew. The urge to run away lessened as she realized he wasn't a mess over whatever had happened with his mom. Another good sign.

He smiled and wordlessly opened the door for her, and they sat in a corner booth, furthest away from the counter and all four of the other patrons.

"I kinda feel like we should order something..." Finn drawled slowly as Santana just stared at him, obviously waiting for him to spill. She didn't suppress the sound of frustration that escaped her lips. "I'll just... go by myself..." Finn left her sitting there by herself as he ordered a coffee. He looked at her and motioned towards the menu, and she shook her head no. She could feel herself growing more irritated as she sat. She had wanted to get this over with quickly and get back to Brittany, but he was making this a big production. She chided herself slightly (_very_ slightly) for feeling that way and reminded herself that Finn was just this kind of guy. Slow. When he rejoined her with his drink in tow, she pounced.

"So, what, did you tell her?" she asked, allowing the impatience she was feeling to show through in her tone. Finn didn't seem to notice. Slow in more ways than one, Santana thought with a frown. She hoped the baby didn't inherit _that_.

"I told her, yeah. She didn't believe me, at first, because of the stuff with Quinn... But I showed her the results of the paternity test and that kind of did it," Finn told her, taking a sip of his drink. "It was easier than I thought it would be."

"Well that's good right?" Santana pressed, secretly relieved that it hadn't been a huge ordeal. She wanted to ask what exact words he'd used to tell her, but didn't. She sat back against her seat and crossed her arms.

"Yeah, I guess..." She could sense his hesitation and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"But?"

"It kind of sucked that she was so okay with it. Like she was waiting for me to screw up..." he told her, his voice low. Santana frowned at that idea; even her parents were upset originally. She could see how this would be a big deal to Finn. Reaching a hand across the table for his hesitantly, she gave him what she hoped was a sympathetic look. She rarely showed sympathy, so she was deliberating on what it might look like and if Finn would get it. Apparently he did though, and he smiled in a slightly sad way.

"I'm sure it's not like that. She just knows there isn't much she can do about it..." Santana said tentitively. Man this was harder than she thought. Why was it so easy to muster up feeling feelings and words of advice for Brittany or Quinn?

"Did you tell her I'm keeping it?"

"I told her _we're_ keeping it," Finn corrected automatically, his eyes lingering on her hand which still rested on his. She flicked her gaze rapidly between his face and their hands. Quickly she removed her hand and placed both into her lap. Nope. She was not doing this.

"Yeah, we, whatever," she said airily with a little toss of her head. _We_, yeah right. "Did she cry? My mom cried." Not exactly the right thing to say, but she went with it like she meant for those words to come out.

"She did a little. She's worried about the future... But she brought up some interesting stuff. Stuff we should talk about probably," Finn said slowly, as if he wasn't sure he really wanted to, or if she wanted to. Santana glanced at her phone for the time. Brittany would only be a fourth of her way through whatever Disney movie she'd chosen to watch. She had time.

"Like?" Her hands made their way back onto the table, although this time they remained strictly in front of her. No where near Finn's hands.

"Well I'm going to keep working at Sheets N' Things. Being the assistant-assistant manager is not as bad of a gig as you'd think," he told her with a little grin. She didn't reciprocate, keeping her face stoic.

"Do you expect me to work?"

"No... Growing a baby is enough work, isn't it?"

"Yes," Santana agreed. So far this was going well for her.

"You're on your parent's insurance, right? So no medical bills?"

"None." She enjoyed that this was in question-answer format, it made her feel like she was in charge. Finn seemed relieved at that tidbit of news, understandably so. He took a few more gulps of his coffee, and offered the cup to her. She reached out her hand to accept, but in mid-reach realized that she couldn't. Finn realized it at the same time and caught himself.

"Oh. Right. Caffiene." He looked at her oddly and cleared his throat. "Speaking of eating habits..." he started to say, and Santana couldn't help but roll her eyes. Was he seriously going there right now? "You're not still drinking that... crap... Sue has all the Cheerios drinking, are you?"

"No. I stopped the day I found out I was pregnant," she told him, glad she could be honest. Sure, it wasn't originally her idea, but when Quinn asked her to stop, she had. It totally counted.

"So you eat like a normal person now?" he persisted, skeptical. She rolled her eyes.

"Seriously? Have you seen how fat I've gotten? Yes, I eat like a normal person now!" she snapped. He could tell she was obviously very sensitive about this subject so he quickly changed it, before she jumped across the table and strangled him.

"Also um Burt knows. So Kurt will know..." His plan to keep her from strangling him was not going so well, as she lurched slightly forward and narrowed her eyes severely at him, threatening to really come across the table in his direction.

"But uh Burt said that since he is already adding onto to the house, he's going to add on another room, for the baby... and you... He's being really good about it all. I'm just glad he likes my mom so much. And I guess he's kind of cool too, you know, with-" Santana 's face stopped his nervous rambling. Yes, she was going to kill him, in public.

"I'm _not_ staying with you," she spat, a little more venom in the statement than she intended, but not by much. "I have a home."

"I mean like, if you and the baby stay overnights... I don't want you to be the only one who sees the baby. I'm the dad, I want to spend time with him or her," Finn said lightly, trying to smooth this over quickly. Santana could tell now he hadn't meant that he wanted her to come live with him (the horror) and was a little embarrassed at her reaction. Naturally she didn't bother to correct herself or apologize, instead keeping her cool.

"That seems reasonable I guess," she said, less defensively. She searched for something to say to make the conversation lighter again. She started to idly play with a napkin that was lying on the table. "So do you want it to be a boy or a girl?"

"A boy," Finn said automatically. She could tell he'd already thought of this already. "You?"

"A boy, definitely. Little girls are just so..." Well Santana had never spent too much time around kids to really have a way to finish that statement, but she remembered herself as a child and being a terror, whether that had to do with being the youngest or being a girl she wasn't actually sure of. All she knew is that she didn't want to be the one chasing after a kid that in any way resembled herself at a young age. Finn nodded, smiling.

"Yeah and I don't think I could handle all the pink and girly stuff. I'm just not..."

"Gay?" Santana interjected with a smirk. "I think we all know that." Finn looked a little uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat.

"Look, I have to tell you something, and you have to not repeat it," he said slowly. Her eyebrows rose, her interest piqued. He took another drink of his coffee before continuing. "Burt and my mom are going to get married."

"That's good right, you just said how Burt was cool," Santana said, not sure where his discomfort was coming from.

"Yeah, no, it's fine and all that. I mean if you had asked me awhile ago I would have said no, but he really loves my mom, and she's so happy with him... So I guess it's good. But my point is, Kurt is going to kind of be my brother." He looked at her pointedly as if she were supposed to just get whatever the hell point he was trying to make. She waited for him to make it. "So the gay jokes really aren't cool."

"Finn I was like, joking. I obviously don't care if anyone is gay," she told him, with a little roll of her eyes. _Even you_, she added to herself.

"Obviously?"

"Well yeah, with the stuff with Brittany..." Santana said, looking at him now like _he_ should just automatically know what _she_ was talking about. He evidently did, as he blanched and blushed furiously at the same time, which was really amusing for Santana to watch.

"I thought that was just a rumor..." His eyes looked like they were about to bug out of his head and she now wished she hadn't said anything at all and let him think she was a homophobe. "So... are you secretly a lesbian?" He almost sounded hopeful. Guys.

"Uh, no," Santana said, as if that should have been fairly black and white. She loved men. A lot. "I mean we make out occassionally and it's fun, but I think it's mostly just because it's Brittany, and not because she's a girl." Okay that made no sense... But she didn't elaborate further.

"Would you be a lesbian for Brittany?" he pressed, intrigued by this whole idea. She couldn't believe that she was having this conversation with Finn, let alone in a public place.

"No," she said firmly. "It's more like a party trick." She felt slightly guilty saying that, as if her admission had made her less of a friend to Brittany. "We're both totally into dudes. We're best friends. It's not anything more than fun for either of us." She didn't know why everyone felt the need to label their sexuality. Sure she'd teased Kurt more than once, but that was how she joked, and he'd never been offended by her comments. She was positive he knew it was all in good fun, or, at least fun for her. Finn seemed somewhat satisfied by her answer, and laughed.

"What are the odds that the first time I ever had sex and the one time we ever slept together you get pregnant?"

Nice change of subject, she thought with a smirk. Santana found the thought amusing but didn't laugh. It sucked too much to joke about just yet. Later she was sure this would be a riot, maybe in five or ten years. The same thing had happened to Quinn didn't it? A small smile played on her face now. Okay, _that_ was funny. But she'd been having sex (and often) ever since last year; it was more of a chance for her than it was for him to get into this situation. Poor Finn.

Suddenly Finn's smile dropped, and he looked extremely confused. "You know I wonder how it did have a chance to happen. I mean..." He lowered his head and leaned in, dropping the volume level on his voice: "It only lasted like forty seconds."

"It was thirty five," Santana corrected without skipping a beat, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Finn sat back and frowned at her.

"You counted?"

"I had to distract myself somehow." She allowed herself to smile fully at him and gave a little chortle at the memory. He'd had no clue what he was doing, and it struck her funny now, when in the moment it had only angered and exasperated her. It was the absolute most unsexy sex she'd ever had to boot! There she was trying to do him a favor, and it got her literally nowhere. Well. Except pregnant, she guessed. _Now_ she was laughing. That was almost as pathetic as Finn believing Quinn's hot tub story.

"Ouch," he said with a wince, playfully rubbing his chest as if he was pained. "That one hurt the ego a little bit."

"You'll live," she said flippantly with a little toss of her hand. "So now that everyone in the world knows about this, my parents want to meet you." She noted the completely flabbergasted look on Finn's face and went on. "They're not like Quinn's parents. Trust me, it'll be a walk in the park compared to _that_." Once she knew for sure, Santana had finally revealed who the baby's father was to her parents, claiming that he'd finally told his parents and now she felt like they should meet him. And naturally, they jumped at the chance to have him over, and she knew secretly they were just itching to call Carole and talk up a storm about what their stupid kids got themselves into.

"When?" Finn asked after a lengthy pause. Santana could tell he was unexcited about this idea, almost as much as she was.

"Tomorrow at six, for dinner. My dad's cooking," she told him. She glanced down at her phone and sighed. Brittany would be almost done with that movie by now. "So you'll be there?" It wasn't a question so much as a statement, no matter how she said it, and he nodded, not sure what other option he really had.

"I guess so." Santana stood, done with this conversation and ready to call it a night.

"Good. I'm bored. I'm going to go home now." She turned on her heel and walked off, leaving Finn very confused and wondering why she always got to leave a situation whenever she wanted to.

"Um, bye?" he called after her, completely caught off guard by her simply getting up and going. She threw a wave over her shoulder and stopped at the counter and ordered a chocolate shake to take home to Brittany. Once it was done, she paid and waved again at Finn. He still sat in the booth, clearly perplexed. She rolled her eyes at him and exited the shop, happy to be on her way back home. She really, really hoped the baby got her brains.

**A/N Part Two: Dear Brittana Shippers: I'm sorry. But also, there's still like crap tons of awesome cute Brittany/Santana moments to be had. Don't fret too much. Dear Fantana Shippers: Don't get excited just yet. Dear Everyone Else Shippers: Why are you reading this? I'm just kidding, please keep reading. No matter who you ship, please feel free to leave a comment, suggestion, or even a review if you feel up to it. Thanks peeps! **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I'm trying to get these updates out quicker, I truly truly am! THANKS TO FUFULUFF for the awesome inspiration and always listening to my ideas and assuring me they aren't total crap. I love you BB! **

Finn arrived at the Lopez household promptly at six. Both of he and Santana vividly remembered this same scenario with Quinn's parents... Except this time, the parents already knew their daughter was pregnant, and also knew Finn was the father. That would make it easier, right? Santana had assured him that her parents would be cool. They were adjusting rather well to the fact that she was pregnant, better than most parents, that was for sure. They didn't have to worry about Santana being thrown out from her home or her parents not speaking to her. He wasn't sure if he should be worried about her older brothers though... With that on his mind, he rang the doorbell nervously.

"Hey," Santana said casually as she opened the door for him. She was dressed rather nicely, in black dress pants and a shimmery red blouse that dipped down kind of far in the front. With a little smirk she saw he was staring, and she flipped her hair out of habit. Good God, what was she doing? Trying to seduce him? Too late for that ship. She straightened herself and motioned for him to come inside. "They're waiting in the kitchen..." She noticed his slightly off color palor and worried expression. Unthinkingly she smoothed invisible wrinkles from his blue button down shirt. "Don't be afraid. They just want to talk to you. Not kill you," she assured him. He swallowed and nodded, and she led him through the living room and into the kitchen where her father was cooking and her mother was sitting at the island, animatedly chatting with her husband while they waited for dinner to finish up. Santana coughed to announce their presence, pulling Finn a little further into the room. Santana's mother looked over her shoulder, and when she saw who was there she immediately stood, walking over to them quickly with a smile on her face.

"Mama, this is Finn. Finn, my mom," Santana said idly, as if this should be fairly obvious. But she still knew her manners well enough to know they needed to be properly introduced.

"Marty," her mother said, widening her smile at the scared teenage boy. He was only slightly put at ease by her demeanor, which read nothing of hate or contempt like he thought it should.

"It's nice to meet you," Finn said. He did a good job of managing to keep the shake out of his voice. Santana's father left the stove and came over to them, looking Finn up and down with scrutiny. He stuck out his hand and Finn took it, shaking it firmly.

"Alex," her dad offered. "It's good to have you here. Do you like chicken marsala?" he asked, returning back to the stove, stirring a pot of peas.

"Uh... Sure," Finn said hesitantly. In truth he had no idea what that was, but he wasn't going to turn down food. Santana could tell this and she rolled her eyes. If this is how all evening would be, she was not having it.

"This isn't the Brady Bunch," she said with a hint of exasperation. "If we're going to talk about all of this we should do it now. Otherwise Finn might die from anxiety." She looked at Finn pointedly, and he looked as if he might faint at any moment. "Seriously, sit down," she told him, scowling slightly. She motioned to a chair at the island and he sat down as if he was sitting down to his last meal. "Don't be nervous."

"He should be nervous, he knocked up our daughter and now he's here having dinner with us and no one's said a damn word about it," her father mumbled, paying too close attention to stirring peas for it to even look like a real occupation now.

"Alex!" her mother exclaimed with a frown at her husband. "We all know that! Good God, it's a wonder where Santana gets it!" Santana rolled her eyes at her parents and sat down at the island too, all three of those seated facing her dad as he cooked. She elbowed Finn needlessly. Her mother turned to Finn and smiled sweetly at him.

"I know you're probably scared, but there's no need to be. We're rational people, Ken-"

"Finn, Mama, his name is FINN," Santana corrected in a sarcastic voice, throwing her hands up slightly. "Seriously."

"At least get the boy's name right," her father agreed, stifling a smile.

"Oh good grief! I just met the boy, you know how I am with names!" her mother huffed, irritated at being called out on her mess up. Santana couldn't help but chuckle a little, and Finn just stayed silent, the family dynamic a little much for him. Her mother tried again, ignoring her husband and daughter. "What I'm trying saying here is that we are not unreasonable. Santana has already told us how you intend to be in the baby's life, and help support the baby financially. That's more than most women get when they concieve a baby out of wedlock." Santana tensed but let the comment roll off of her shoulders.

"As long as you don't lose your focus and remember that your priority is not basketball or football or being cool or cheerleading but the child you created... We've already had this talk with Santana. Not that it hurts her to hear it again," Santana's father said, returning back to his somber state. Santana didn't seem too concerned, picking at her nails and flashing Finn a reassuring smile. Nope, to her this was going rather well.

Her dad gave up the task of pretending to be occupied with cooking. "It's done. We may as well eat it. Santana, Finn, make yourselves useful." He gestured towards the serving containers on the kitchen counters. Following Santana's lead, Finn grabbed two platters and walked them over to the round kitchen table, which was already set, complete with glasses of water.

When the ladies had been seated, Finn and Santana's father took chairs facing each other at opposite ends of the table. They passed food around and fixed their plates, and Finn was about to take a bite of whatever this chicken thing was when Santana coughed to get his attention. Her parent's heads were bowed, and Santana ducked her head as well, her eyes telling him to just go along with it. He tucked his head down and waited, glancing up. No one said anything. After a few seconds her father raised his head again and crossed himself, and the other two Lopez's mimicked him.

"He's not Catholic is he?" her mother spoke, taking a drink of his water. Apparently Finn's awkwardness had not gone unnoticed.

"No, ma'am. I'm not very religious," Finn admitted. He was kind of surprised at how they prayed; that was something Quinn's family did, and just from their interaction so far they seemed very different from the Fabrays.

"Well that's fine, just know the baby will be baptized as a Catholic," Santana's father said, a slight edge in his voice.

"Alex, the baby isn't even born yet, and Finn and Santana will be the ones to decide if he or she is baptized. You know just as well as I do no one should be forced into religion." Santana watched the exchange between her parents as she chewed her food. She hated when they talked about their faith, but at least this time the direction of the conversation was positive for her. Her father let it drop. "Anyway. Where do you work, _Finn_?" Everyone noticed the emphasis Santana's mom put on his name, knowing she got it right this time. Santana suppressed a groan, instead carefully chewing her mouthful of food. She indicated to Finn that he could start eating now.

"Um at Sheets N' Things. I'm the assistant-assistant manager," Finn answered. Santana was glad he'd had a job before this whole situation arose; it was hard enough finding employment in this cow town. And him having a job at all would look nicer to her parents as well. Santana's mother frowned, raising her fork and narrowing her eyes at Finn, looking so much like Santana in the action that Finn's eyes widened at the likeness.

"Is that even a real position?" she questioned, ignoring the look on his face.

"Mama!" Santana exclaimed with a little sigh. "It's real. God." It sure sounded phony, but she'd seen his nametag herself. Plus Shue's crazy ex-wife worked there. Anything was possible.

"Santana," her father warned, cocking an eyebrow at his youngest. "Watch it." Finn was shocked that there was nothing further to it, that Santana didn't leap across the table in a fit of rage at being told what to do. No, instead she rolled her eyes slightly and turned back to her food, heeding her dad. Mr. Lopez waited until he had swallowed before he continued. "Well Santana will be starting to help me with my office work this coming week." At this news Santana sat up straighter, snapping her head in her father's direction.

"At the office?" Her attention was rapt, but her father wasn't paying any attention to her, instead pushing food around his plate. She hadn't planned on working but... working at her father's law office was a super opportunity, even she knew that. Pregnant or not, it was a foot in the door.

"Yes. Which means you'll need to actually learn how to drive so your mother and Finn don't have to drive you around." Santana was a bit more apprehensive at this news... She only had her learner's permit, and even then she was almost never behind the wheel of a car.

"I really don't mind, Mr. Lopez..." Finn started to say, but he was cut off with a wave of the older man's hand.

"I appreciate that, Finn, I do." He smiled genuinely at Finn, the first time ever. Santana could tell her dad liked Finn; he was just a bit rough at first. "But Santana's got some growing up to do, and it's obvious we need to stop the hand holding. She'll get her full license so that she can drive herself to and from work, and in the fall, school."

"Hand holding?" Santana snorted, letting her fork clatter onto her plate. Since when did they hand hold? They had no clue what she really did with her time; if that was hand holding she was surprised she hadn't been run over at the age of four crossing the street or something.

Again her father shot her a warning look, and she backed down. Whatever. It was totally not worth the fight. She knew her dad just wanted her to be independent. And hell, that's what she wanted too. So, working and driving, she could do that. Finn was already doing it, right? She couldn't have her kid thinking their mom is a loser and their dad is awesome.

Finn looked on in amazement... There really was a lot more to her than what he saw at school. The Santana he knew would not be silenced for anyone. It was weird seeing her be so obedient to her father.

"Well this will be good, Santana," her mother said offhandedly. Santana knew that her parents had already discussed this in great detail, so none of this was new for her to hear. "I just want to say this. I want to be grandma, not any of this granny or gram nonsense." She looked at Finn and Santana expectantly, but neither had a clue what to say to that.

"Um... Sure?" Finn said after a few moments passed. He exchanged a look with Santana and she just shrugged.

"Well I want to be Papi," her father followed up with, carrying on the conversation. Santana laughed, almost choking on her water.

"What? Daddy, that like... doesn't even make sense." Even her mother was giving her husband an amused look at his request.

"Why on earth would you say that? You're about as ethnic as McDonald's!" Santana and her mother shared a laugh, leaning over the table at each other and giggling.

"I just want my grandbaby to know his or her roots!" he said proudly, a hand over his heart. At this Santana gave a little shriek of elation; this was obviously very funny to her, although Finn was left in the dark. Santana grabbed up her phone and started texting on it wildly, still laughing.

"I've got to tell Hendrix and Sambora!" Her father scowled at his daughter, seeing nothing wrong with what he'd said, even as his wife's shoulders shook with mirth at the idea.

"What uh, what would the baby be? Exactly?" Finn asked slowly. He wasn't sure if he was being rude or not, but since it had just been brought up he decided to chance it.

"I am proudly half Puerto Rican and black," Mr. Lopez told him, hand still over his heart. He scowled and tossed a hand at his wife haplessly. "Marty is half Puerto Rican and half white. She doesn't care about her Latino roots."

"You know just as well as I do that we are the least _Latino_ people in the world. You only know curse words and how to order a taco in Spanish!" Mrs. Lopez laughed harder, completely enjoying this. No one seemed to care that Finn was still there.

"I call Santana _mija_, the least she can do to honor me is to have my grandbaby call me Papi!" Santana's dad fumed, throwing his hands in the air. He looked back at Finn and exhaled deeply. "I guess to answer your question, the baby would be five eighths white, one eighth black, and a fourth Puerto Rican."

"Are you sure?" Santana cut in, eyebrows furrowed at the math. Finn also looked lost. But when hadn't he the entire night?

"Yes I'm sure! When you pass tenth grade math come and talk to me," Mr. Lopez said flippantly.

"Daddy, if you want the baby to call you Papi, you're going to have to teach it yourself," Santana said, sharing a look with her mother before smiling into her glass.

"I will! Someone has to stay connected to the..."

"Do not say mother land!" Mrs. Lopez screeched, tears rolling down her face from laughing. "Do not!"

They carried on this way for the rest of dinner, laughing and teasing Mr. Lopez as he just got more and more flustered. Soon enough they agreed that Santana's father could be Papi but that was only to keep him happy. The conversation turned, and the Lopezs got to know Finn, and eventually he found himself comfortable in their fast paced, highly animated way of interacting with each other. Soon he was even joking with Santana's father. When the two started making fun of Santana, she knew her dad liked him. Much to her dismay it turned out, as having someone on his side made Finn bold, and he teased mercilessly. She knew that he knew she wouldn't react as strongly with her dad sitting right there, laughing along. She made carefully calculated notes on how exactly to get back at Finn for this later. For the time being she rolled her eyes and laughed fakely.

When dinner was finished, the two teens were left to clean up the dishes. Santana delegated the task of washing to herself and set Finn to drying. They carried on in their task silently except for the faint sound of Santana humming.

"I like your parents," Finn noted after awhile, interuppting Santana's thoughts, although she'd only been thinking what he'd just said. She nodded and handed him a plate, which he started to dry.

"They like you, too," she assured him. She turned and regarded him with a hesitant pause, her eyes searching his face. "Do you think your mom will like me?"

"If you can manage to be... not you... I'm sure she will," he joked. He noted how her brow furrowed, and sighed. "I was kidding. She'll like you." She gave a simple "hmm" in reply and began to hum, focusing again at the task at hand.

Honestly she wasn't sure; his mom was probably used to... nice people. But Santana could be nice, she was sure of it. She could be respectful and quiet and sweet. She just didn't like to very often. Anyway she had to at least try because Finn's mom was going to be her baby's other grandmother, and family is important. Whatever her transgressions or character flaws, Santana knew this and believed it with all of her heart.

She stole a quick glance over at Finn, who was dutifully drying a glass as if he was polishing a priceless heirloom. She supposed too she'd have to start being nice to Finn... She wasn't going to put herself out over it or break her back being a nice girl, but she could cut the tone and general bitchiness for sure.

Finn bumped her elbow with his, throwing her a grin when she looked over at him. It's taken him less than three seconds to test the strength of her new resolve. She bit back the insult burning on her tongue and instead swiped some of the soap suds up and flung them at his face playfully. Payback for earlier!

He had a surprisingly good reaction time and moved out of the way, but she quick fired another round and nailed him on the nose, giggling at his reaction. He could tell she was goofing, and although he was apprehensive, he snapped his dishtowel, and he heard the smack as the end of the damp towel hit her on the butt. Santana gasped in surprise and started laughing. She was happy he could dish it as well as take it. She got an mischievious look on her face and grinned, then scooped up a full handful of bubbles and threw it at him again. This time he wasn't as fast and she got him all over his face, which had them both laughing now. He reached up and wiped his eyes, and then splashed her with the soapy water, relentless. Her first reaction was to fling the sponge she'd been holding at him, hitting him in the shoulder and leaving a giant wet spot.

"I can't believe you!" he cried, faking being angry. He made as if to snap her again with the dishtowel, and she shrieked. She turned on her heal and took off sprinting around the kitchen, but not fast enough. All Finn had to do was take a few quick strides and reach out, grabbing for her waist. He missed, and Santana hit a puddle of slippery wetness left from her throwing soap suds around. She started to fall, but Finn saw what was happening and sped up, catching her expertly just before she hit the ground. He yanked her back up onto her feet and held her a few seconds longer than was probably necessary, making sure she was steady before releasing her.

He looked in her eyes, his arms still around her firmly, searching her face, the carefreeness gone and replaced with concern. She gave him a small smile, letting him know she was okay, returning his gaze. She didn't fight his lingering embrace, instead kind of melting into it. He was... strong. Wait that's not the word she was looking for... Big? No, she knew that already. Secure. Maybe that was it. She did feel safe in his arms, even if she hadn't been in any _real_ danger.

She looked into his brown eyes, eyes that were no longer searching hers, but resting easily on her face. She couldn't quite read his expression. She didn't have much time to think about it before he leaned in closer to her, causing her breath to hitch in her throat.

"You know..." he started to say, but he didn't get it the rest of his sentence out before he dipped his face and kissed her. It wasn't perfect, as it wasn't even really right because it had landed on her ear, but it made Santana freeze. Unmoving she tried to make sense of what had just happened. She decided not to try and attempt real logic right now, and did the first thing that came to mind.

"You missed," she said with a coy giggle, snaking her hand behind his neck and bringing his mouth down to hers again, kissing him properly on the lips. The kiss was soft and very unlike most kisses in her life; it wasn't hurried or rushed, without a hint of lust behind it. It was simple, sweet, and to Santana's utter surprise, genuine. With a jolt she realized what she was doing and pushed herself out of Finn's arms, tugging her shirt down and biting her lip. She brushed her hair behind her ear and looked up at him, the first time he'd ever see her unsure. "I'm sorry," she whispered softly.

Finn was looking rather dumbfounded and stood shellshocked, dish towel limp at his side. She wished he'd say something, anything. But he just looked at her with that look on his face, that look she couldn't place or even begin to understand. What was she thinking, kissing him? Was this part of her "being nice" crap? Did it mean something more than that? It felt like it did... And that's why she was where she was, apologizing. Since when did Santana Lopez ever offer an apology for her actions, let alone her normally too-much-to-handle kisses? What the hell was going on here?

"I'm... going to go home now. Thanks for... yeah. Dinner and stuff," Finn said, stammering and stuttering all over the place. He tossed the dishtowel onto the counter and left in a hurry, leaving Santana to try and wrap her mind around what just occurred.

* * *

**A/N Part Two: So I really need some feedback on this. I never flat out ask for reviews, but that's me asking. Please and thank you LOL. Comments suggestions on all this?**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Hiiiiyeee It's me! Slow on the update, I apologize. I was seriously stuck. Thanks to Krystie though I got through it! Thanks new buddy! As always my Twinkles saw me through the end stages of this chapter... Always there! Thanks babe! **

**Now this is going to be short, but the next chapter will be long. No worries, mk? Read on darlings!**

Santana sat on the floor of her bedroom surrounded by maternity clothes early Monday morning. Quinn had taken it upon herself to unload all of her no longer needed garments onto Santana, thinking they could be of use. Unfortunately Santana definitely did not have the same tastes as Quinn, at least when it came to style of dress. She knitted her eyebrows at the sheer amount of _dresses_ that were strewn around but didn't comment to Quinn, who was sitting on the edge of Santana's bed looking through an old photo album Santana hadn't even known she'd had. Reluctantly Santana held a yellow shift up to her chest, letting the skirt fall over her folded legs. As much as she wasn't a dress person, she was even less a yellow person. But Quinn gave her an approving smile.

"That would look great on you, San. I think I wore that when I was still early on in my pregnancy... It might fit now." Quinn watched Santana expectantly, obviously waiting for her to try it on. Santana gave a little huff and shucked off her sweat pants and big t-shirt and pulled the dress on, standing to let it fall as it should. Quinn's smile widened and she gestured towards the mirror hanging on the bedroom wall. "You look lovely." Santana raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Really, Santana. Wear it to school today!" Santana peered at herself, and had to admit that although the getup was not her at all, it did look halfway decent. And it had just enough give in the front that her slight weight gain didn't strain the fabric, which is more than could be said for most of her wardrobe.

"It's not that bad," Santana admitted, grabbing her brush from her dresser and doing her hair in front of the mirror.

"So how did things go with Finn Friday?" Quinn asked idly as she returned to flipping through the photo album. Santana bit her lip, unsure if she wanted to tell Quinn the whole story or just the part before they'd kissed. She decided to leave that out for now. But before she could reply she heard her mother yell up the stairs.

"Santana! Finn's on the phone again."

"I'm busy," Santana shouted back, rolling her eyes when Quinn looked at her questioningly.

"Did he do something wrong?" her mother yelled again, sounding overly interested.

"Mama! No! I'm busy. Just tell him I'm busy, God."

Santana's frown returned and she laid her brush down. Finn had been blowing up her cell phone with calls and texts all weekend, although he hadn't tried calling the home phone until Sunday afternoon. The boy was relentless, but Santana was so not ready to have this conversation with him. She had decided to be nice to him, and she wasn't used to turning a boy down without completely cutting his self esteem into tiny pieces. She needed to think carefully of how to say "I fucking hate your Frankenteen guts and don't want to be your girlfriend" in a much more gentle way. No, she had no interest in being Finn's girlfriend, that she was sure of. She really was sorry for that kiss, and Finn was only making her more sure of that with his endless phone calls.

"So?" Quinn asked slowly, waiting for Santana to explain what was going on. "What exactly happened?"

"Just... don't worry about it, Quinn." Santana tried to brush her friend off, but Quinn did not give in that easily, her stare remaining the same. Santana huffed a little and tossed a hand in the air, relenting. "He came over, my parents liked him, vice versa. Now I kind of think he wants more."

"_Dating_ more?" Quinn pressed, looking extremely intrigued by this idea. Finn and Santana together was a ridiculous idea, even Santana knew that. She didn't need Quinn to tell her.

"Which is _so_ not happening but makes total sense because I'm such a ten," Santana added as if it was just too true to deny. "Even pregnant I'm a ten." A quick glance at Quinn revealed that stupid knowing look she always had nowadays. What could Quinn have possibly read into with that conversation? Not in the mood, Santana looked over at her alarm clock for the time and picked up her bookbag by her door. "We still have to go get Brittany. We're going to be late for school, not that I really care, but I'm trying not to fail out of tenth grade."

Santana was still not ready to talk to Finn when he'd appeared at her locker between second and third period. Brittany was sifting through her backpack looking for her favorite glittery gel pens and Santana stood waiting, tapping her foot impatiently when she felt someone come up behind her and touch her shoulder. She slowly turned her head, ready to hiss and spit at whoever was stupid enough to put their hands on her without her permission. When she saw it was Finn, she visibly startled.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked nervously, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he waiting for Santana to reply. She wasn't about to entertain this crap from him; she'd have to squash this business right away. Keenly aware that Brittany was in earshot, she turned to him with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Listen up, Finnocence. It's time we laid down some ground rules. Rule number one." She held up her index finger and when she felt her head weave she wondered if she looked as dangerous in this stupid yellow dress as she would have if she was wearing her Cheerios uniform. "We aren't dating. I told you before this all began that I didn't want to be with you. Nothing has changed, okay? What happened..." She paused, trying to articulate the words in such a way that whoever was eavesdropping (oh, and people were eavesdropping, she could tell) would have no idea what she was talking about. He opened his mouth to say something but she held up a hand at him and continued on, figuring he wasn't too dense as to not understand her meaning. "What happened doesn't change that." Her irritation only grew as he looked like he was about to attempt to speak again. "I'm not fucking done!" she snapped, and Finn sighed resignedly. "So if you've got these cotton candy images of us being some lovey dovey ish, you better knock that out of your puny mind right now. Because it's not happening. I don't do that. And if I did it wouldn't be with someone who jizzed in his pants from a single kiss." The look of shock on his face didn't go unheeded by Santana and she felt a slight pang of guilt. Okay that last part was mean, and _mean_ mean. It's not like the guy could help it. And besides, once they'd actually started doing the deed, he'd lasted for a bit, which was surprising given his... problem. She shook the thought out of her head. That's exactly what she _didn't _need to be picturing right now. She recrossed her arms again and cleared her throat. "Whatever. My point is. I'm only tolerating you for the baby. Clear?" Satisfied she'd said her piece, she gestured for him to speak, her eyes daring him to challenge any of what she'd just said.

"I was going to say the same thing," he said slowly. Well she hadn't been expecting that. She stared at him for a few seconds, trying to reason this. She'd envisioned fevered pleas, tears as he asked her to reconsider. Not this. Despite her hurtful dig, he looked relatively stoic now. And... She searched his face a little harder. Was that seriously relief etched on his features? Relief that she agreed with him and hadn't wanted to be his girlfriend?

"Well then whatever" was all she could muster, turning and yanking Brittany up off of the ground and tugging her along down the hallway. Santana didn't care if she still hadn't found those damn pens, it was time to go and now. A little surprised of course, Brittany grabbed up her bag and linked her pinkie with Santana's but didn't question why they were storming off. Finn reached for Santana and again she felt his hand on her shoulder. She stopped in her tracks and whipped her head around, her eyes flashing with the dark storm brewing.

"Santana, don't leave it like this. I'm just agreeing with your first rule. We're not dating. But you don't have to always be yelling at me either," he told her, no hint of fear or trepidation in his voice. Now he was challenging her to fight his words, or at least that's what she was pretending. In reality there was no malice, only calm and a reasonable tone. No, screw him. Her eyes narrowed. Since when was she _always_ yelling? Brittany's grip tightened on her hand and Santana could tell Brittany was uncomfortable, so she didn't snap at him. Finn seemed to be struggling to find the right words to say so as to not offend her more. "I liked that girl you were Friday. I liked that Santana a hell of a lot more than this one. I liked joking with you and having actual conversations instead of you just _yelling _at me and me just standing around taking it. Can we try that at least most of the time?" Finn asked in earnest, his hand now dropped from her shoulder and by his side limply. Santana thought for a few seconds. Yes. That was doable. That was how it should be and in the back of her mind she knew this. But right now she wanted to rip his face off for not wanting her. Oh of course it made no sense, and she was fully aware of the inanity, but she was a girl with a lot of pride and this one hurt a bit.

"Fine," she finally retorted, as evenly as humanly possible. She started walking again, pulling a rather perplexed Brittany along, face turned forward. "See you at Glee Club. We can discuss the rest of the rules there," she tossed back at him. Before they turned the corner she glanced back quickly, to see Finn walking the other direction and shaking his head. It wasn't eloquent but at least they had an understanding, and that's what counted.

"San," Brittany said slowly as if she were thinking, interuppting Santana's thoughts. "I have a question. And don't be Mean Santana when I ask okay? Because it's been bothering me." Santana could do nothing but sigh and nod her head. She'd wanted to brood over this Finn nonsense some more, but supposed it could wait. Brittany started to swing their hands, which were still joined by their pinkies. She bit her lip and made a hmming sound. "Soooo, you and Finn aren't dating."

"Right," Santana agreed firmly, silently praying this wasn't going anywhere too ridiculous. She was glad their class was not that much further away.

"Well my mom and dad always told me, that when two people are in love, they make a baby," Brittany drawled on. Santana furrowed her brow, unsure of the direction this conversation was heading. "And people who are in love are usually dating, or like engaged or married or something."

"That's how it's supposed to work, Britt, you're right," Santana assured her friend like one would tell a child monsters weren't real. "But Puck and Quinn weren't in love, and they had Beth," she reminded Brittany. Thank god they were almost to third period.

"Well, I know, but they dated," Brittany insisted. Santana nodded; this was true.

"Puck and I were also sleeping together, and he and Mercedes had their... Thing," Santana spat, unwilling to call whatever the hell Mercedes and Puck had had for a day a relationship. "It's not perfect Brittany. It's really complicated."

"I wish it it wasn't because it makes my eyes cross," Brittany said with a little pout. They'd finally arrived at their class. Santana gave Brittany a peck on the cheek and sighed.

"You and me both, Britt."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N I OFFICIALLY LOSE. That was the slowest update in the history of forver. I apologize. I am not going to repeat it again. I've just been so... uninspired lately and it was getting to be a chore. However I have a new course of action and we should be all well and good now. :) If you're still with me, give yourself a pat on the back!**

Not only was today the last day of school before summer break, it was also Santana's first real obstetrics appointment. Her mother had set it up for her at the clinic, and she and Finn were to go together and meet her and Finn's mother there after one final Glee Club session for the school year. Santana was a little excited... Besides just a general check up, she'd been informed that they might be able to find out the baby's gender. It wasn't a foremost thought, but it was something she wanted to know. She wasn't even put off by the idea of Finn coming along.

They'd laid down the rest of their rules: Santana wasn't allowed to call Finn Frankenteen anymore, Finn wasn't permitted to even suggest a name like Drizzle, they were to make decisions regarding the baby together, they had to share cost of setting up the nursery at Santana's house, Santana had to tell Finn of any new changes that occurred that had to do with the baby, Finn was never under any circumstances to sing to Santana, they had to be honest with each other.

The clencher and groan inducer for Santana had been the rule that they each had to try and be open with their feelings and crap like that. Santana was also not allowed to sleep with anyone because the thought of the baby between Santana and some random guy just freaked Finn out enough to where he insisted this was a rule. That one didn't overly bother her because it's not like she wanted to perpetuate this "whore" rep anyway, even if she was sure she'd be stuck with it for the rest of her highschool career now.

With these rules agreed upon and in full effect, getting along was a lot easier for the two of them. They tolerated each other's presence much longer than ever before. Santana was beginning to think that they just might be able to actually raise this baby together without her killing Finn.

"Alright guys! Go on and get your summer started! I'll see you all here next year," Mr. Shue told his students, waving them out of the choir room for the last time that school year. They'd played some dorky singing games and had gone around the room and each said something they'd enjoyed that year in Glee Club. By the end everyone was crying. Santana took solace in the fact though that she would be more than busy and summer was only a few months long anyhow. Before they knew it, they'd be back here, rolling their eyes at Rachel and groaning about lame assignments even if they knew they would have fun with them anyway. She, Brittany, and Tina were the last to leave and walked together to their lockers, laughing about Kurt's attempt to pop n' lock.

"And he was like," Brittany said before convulsing around, throwing her arms and legs around randomly, mimicing Kurt's epic failure. This set the other two to howling, tears coursing down their cheeks.

"Oh God, it was exactly like that," Tina added with another laugh. Brittany beamed, re-linking pinkies with Santana.

"That totally topped Rachel's attempt at krumping, which I thought was impossible," Santana giggled. When they reached Santana and Brittany's lockers, Finn was waiting, his back against the wall and his nose in a book. Santana looked him up and down and smiled at him. Nicely, even. "Hey, Finn. What's with the literature? School's out, or haven't you heard?"

"I seem to know that somehow," he retorted, more comfortable with her brash nature than ever before. He closed the book and brandished it cover-side out at her so she could see for herself. It was a baby book. Santana's brows rose appreciatively, and she gave a small noise of approval. She'd have to have him detail the important bits to her later on. "Are you ready to go?" Finn asked her, standing upright. Brittany looked at Santana with a confused face and a small pout sprouted on her lips where a smile had been only seconds before.

"Where are you going?" Brittany let her pinky fall from Santana's and instead took up her entire hand, clinging. "It's the last day of school, we're all going down to the lake... Rachel and Mercedes planned it and we're going to feed the ducks and dance and have hot dogs and..." Brittany faltered, trying to think of other awesome things they had planned, anything that would lure Santana to skip out on whatever she was going to do with Finn. "And stuff." Santana sighed and swung their hands slightly, her face apologetic. She knew that ever since she'd started her job at her dad's office, she hadn't been spending as much time with Brittany, and it was obviously starting to take it's toll on her best friend.

"We have to go to my baby doctor appointment, Britt. The doctor wants to see if the baby is healthy. It's really important," Santana explained. She noticed how Finn was watching her, eyes intensely resting on her face. She ignored his rudeness and smiled at Brittany. "I can come after?"

"Okay," Brittany readily agreed, her smile returning. Santana was happy she was pleased with that compromise. "I want to go with you." Of course _she_ wanted Brittany to come along, but she hesitated and looked at Finn. She wasn't sure if he wanted this to just be a "them" thing or if he would be find with Brittany tagging along.

"Yeah, that's cool," Finn said, nodding his head, almost absentmindedly as he glanced at his phone for the time. "We've gotta meet our moms at the clinic soon though, so we need to leave now."

"Okay well good luck at the OB! I'll see you guys out at the lake!" Tina told them, taking that as her cue to get moving. She waved goodbye to the trio and Santana flashed her a smile. She was really starting to enjoy Tina's company, even outside of Glee. She was nice and not fake, which were attributes Santana was coming to realize she liked in a person.

"Yay I get to go to the baby doctor!" Brittany said excitedly, clapping her hands. Santana gave a short laugh and Finn couldn't help but smile either at how happy Brittany was. Without wasting any more time, they gathered the last of their things, and said good-bye to McKinley High until they were forced to return in a few months.

They walked to the parking lot and got into Finn's car, with Santana riding shotgun. Finn took off in the direction of the highway, the fastest way to the hospital from school. All of the windows were rolled down, and Finn was blaring some rock song that was totally not Santana's genre. She reached to change the station, but heard Brittany was singing along, a hand out of the window, waving to the beat of the music. Finn was singing along under his breath as well, although she could just barely hear him. Sighing, she decided she could tolerate it. Thankfully for her sake they weren't on the road for too long before they reached the hospital so she wasn't subjected to the atrocity for an unbearable length.

"Thank god," she exclaimed as soon as Finn cut the engine and the music stopped. She got out of the car and once Brittany was at her side, they walked into the hospital and easily found her own mother and Finn's waiting for them at the OB/GYN waiting room. Santana greeted her mother and then smiled warmly at Mrs. Hudson. This was her first time meeting the woman, and she wanted to make a good impression. "Hi! I'm Santana. It's nice to finally meet you," she said in her most bubbly voice, drawing Finn's mom into a tight hug. She had been right in assuming she was a hugger, as the older woman happily embraced her back. Santana ignored the looks of surprise on the faces of Finn, her mom, and even Brittany as they watched the act. They really shouldn't be _that_ shocked. She knew how to win people over!

"It's lovely to meet you as well," Mrs. Hudson gushed, obviously taken with Santana. "I'm surprised I haven't before this."

"Well she and Finn aren't really... involved," Mrs. Lopez said hesitantly.

"Yeah they are so not dating," Brittany confirmed, nodding her head sagely. "Santana _always_ says "sex isn't dating". But it's like this big thing, that they're not dating. Even if my mom and dad say that when people are in love they make a baby. And people in love date..."

Santana reached and pinched Brittany on the back of her arm discreetly, eyes wide in horror at the long, revealing, and completely inappropriate ramble she'd just gone on. Mrs. Hudson looked at Santana peculiarly, as if she wanted to ask something but wasn't sure if it would be out of line or not. Santana could feel her mother's eyes burning through the back of her head and was positive she would have some questions to answer later. So this _had_ been going well. God damn it Brittany!

"Santana Lopez?" the receptionist called out. Santana secretly said a private thank you to whatever powers that be for the timing on her being called back into the exam room and began to follow the woman into the back. When the entire party moved to come along, the receptionist stopped.

"I'm sorry, but... Who are all of you? We only allow family back in the exam rooms." Santana answered easily, pointing to each person around her as she spoke.

"This is my mother, the baby's father, his mother, and..." Santana paused for a split second to think of a relationship for Brittany, even if she'd just pissed her off. "My sister." The receptionist rose her eyebrow skeptically, noting Santana's tanned skin and dark features were vastly different from Brittany's fair complexion and light eyes and hair. Santana stood her ground, tilting her chin up, daring the woman to call her a liar.

"Okay," the receptionist said, backing down, which Santana had fully expected. Brittany grabbed for her hand and smiled at her warmly, thankful Santana had included her. Santana just gave her a look that told her she better not make her regret it, which Brittany seemed to understand. Santana was happy they could communicate wordlessly because at times like these, her words couldn't be trusted to be pleasant and most of the time words just failed Brittany altogether. She wondered if she could teach Finn... Because honestly words failed him just as often as they did Brittany.

Once back in the exam room, the group settled into a nice healthy hum of conversation, which was thankfully not centered on anything Brittany had said a few minutes before. The teenagers spoke easily of the coming evening out at the lake and Carole detailed Burt's plan for the nursery at their home, which had Mrs. Lopez more than excited as they discussed window placement and how Kurt was super excited to be in on the decorating aspect. Finn and Santana shared a look at that news, although they were both wise enough to say nothing. Kurt decorating their child's room was a little... weird. But they both also knew that was Kurt's "thing" so they let it go. Just as Carole and Marty were debating on co-sleeping and cribs, the doctor came in.

"How are we doing today, Lopez crew?" he asked with a little chuckle, smiling at the many faces in the cramped room. He shook Finn's hand heartily and clapped him on the back with a thud. "Dad?"

"Yes, sir," Finn answered with a lopsided grin. Santana could tell he was excited to see the baby, a first for him. Her stomach did a little wiggle at the thought, which she ignored with ease. The doctor smiled and winked knowingly at Mrs. Lopez and Carole.

"Kids sure do grow up fast, don't they?" At this Santana's attention turned quickly to her mother, whose face had gone a bit red, as had Carole's. Before either woman could properly respond, the doctor began to ask Santana some basic questions which she breezed through, and then it was time for the ultrasound. The doctor didn't even have to tell Santana to raise her shirt or bring down her pants slightly; after three ultrasounds she thought she got the drill now. He squirted the cool jelly on her abdomen and set to waving the image wand over her stomach.

All five faces were intent on the ulstrasound's monitor, the two older women practically falling over themselves with coos and awws, though the picture wasn't very remnicsent of a baby quite yet. Santana found herself smiling, noting the flickering heart with a guarded amount of joy. She glanced over at Finn, who was smiling goofily as he watched the baby on the screen. Brittany looked confused, but was speechless, to Santana's relief. She turned her attention back to the screen, focusing on what seemed like a heavy amount of activity from the baby. She was slightly amazed that that was inside her... It still hadn't really sunk in, not even after all that had happened so far. To think that not too far in the future, that blotchy speck would be a baby in her arms.

"Everything looks good here," the doctor said in a cheery voice, interuppting her introspective ramble. "Do we want to know the sex of the baby?"

"YES!" Carole and Marty exclaimed in unison. They looked at each other sheepishly and Mrs. Lopez waved a hand at her daughter and Finn nonchalantly.

"I mean. If _they_ want to," she said with a little cough. Santana nodded eagerly, and knew Finn wanted to know too.

"What is it?" Finn asked, taking Santana's hand in his own, bracing himself for the news. Santana didn't need any bracing; it was either a boy or a girl. It's not like he was about to tell them they were having a kitten or something. She frowned for a few seconds as she thought about that but quickly snapped to. With another nod of consent from Santana, the doctor moved the wand over a bit lower on her belly and paused to scrutinize the screen.

"Looks like you're going to be the proud parents of a baby girl."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: I had to get this little bit out before we really start going. I have it all planned out (FOR ONCE) so now it's just a matter of me writing it. If you're still reading, drop me a line or a review. The bigger response I get, the faster I'll update. Tell you what, ten reviews, and you'll get the next chapter by Sunday. I just need to know people are still around and reading, LOL!**

"Little girls are nice," Brittany said soothingly from the backseat, trying to reassure her friends as she looked over ultrasound pictures the doctor had printed for Santana and Finn to take home. They were on their way to the lake, although the other two were quite somber and not really in the mood to screw off with their friends. "I think you'll like having a girl," Brittany insisted. Tilting one scan to the right and skewing her own head to the left, she squinted. "But are you sure it's not like a sea monkey?"

Santana sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest. She wasn't genuinely super totally upset, but she had wanted a boy... or had at least figured it'd be easier than a girl. _Girls_ get pregnant, after all. She glanced over at Finn, who was driving with a preoccupied look on his face. Preoccupied and _something _else. Finn was normally easy to get a read on because he was so simple, so he had to be thinking hard about something. And not in a positive way.

"Are you mad?" she asked him softly, knowing that Brittany was too engrossed in trying to decipher the ulstrasounds to pay them any attention. Finn shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not mad. I'm glad the baby is healthy," he told her dismissively, his eyes focused on the road in front of them as if he'd never driven this route before in his life. She exhaled deeply and crossed her arms, knowing he wasn't being honest with her.

"Disappointed maybe?" she tried again. Neither one of them had been jumping for joy at the fact they were having a girl, but the news seemed to trouble Finn more than it did her.

"I admit I am disappointed," he said after a few moments. He checked his side mirrors before switching lanes needlessly and she sensed he was avoiding really answering her question. Relentless, she waited for him to go on, staring him down.

"Why?"

"Well you wanted a boy, I wanted a boy..." Finn said hesitantly. She gave him a look. That seriously couldn't be what was inducing this near mope. "And Quinn had a girl," he admitted in a low voice. Ah. She turned slightly in her seat so she could see his face better, slighty intrigued by what he could possibly mean. She waited patiently as Finn gathered his thoughts. "The last time I was in that hospital for an ultrasound, was when I thought Quinn was having my baby," he started to say slowly. He glanced at her from the side of his eyes, and she nodded. Yes, she remembered that. "And I just remember getting the news that it was a girl. And then all of the thoughts and stuff that came along with that... And she wasn't mine." He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. He looked over at her briefly. "That probably sounds dumb to you." She shook her head.

"No. It doesn't sound dumb. It makes sense," she told him. She wasn't being honest and she hoped he couldn't tell. It _didn't_ make sense and it _did_ sound dumb. Quinn's baby wasn't his. This one was. Anyway whatever. It's not like the baby was going to change genders just because they wanted her to.

With a little jolt she realized the baby wasn't "it" anymore. _She_ was a_ she_. A _her_. She felt her skin prickle and watched goosebumps crop up across her arms. A pink, ribbons and bows, tea party, Barbie doll loving _girl_. She sat slightly dumbfounded for a few moments before deciding it was too much to think about, so soon. She turned away from Finn and stared out her window, attempting to end their conversation. Much to her chagrin, he started speaking again anyway.

"I don't know, it just brings me down I guess."

"At least you know this baby is yours," Santana tried, still very much not wanting to talk about this anymore. But it was obvious Finn wanted to talk. And she had to try. It was in the stupid rules. "So any feelings... you want to feel..." she was trying hard to think of the right words to say, but this was so hard and felt so forced to her. "You can feel them. Because, like, she's yours." She flipped her hair out of discomfort, not looking at Finn, who she could tell was watching her from the outer boundries of his line of sight. "Or whatever."

"It's just a lot to deal with," he went on, still attempting to catch Santana's eye as he drove. Santana shrugged, turning to him with a nonplussed look on her face.

"If it's too much I can go away, disappear to an aunt's house or something," she told him with a wave of her hand. She didn't mean it; she was just tired of the subject. He could tell and chose to ignore her.

"Anyway," he said, pushing past her comment. "That baby book had some interesting things in it."

"Oh?" She wasn't genuinely interested right now but at least he was talking about something else other than the fact he was having girl feelings.

"Yeah. What do you know about babies?" Finn asked slowly, knowing he could easily offend her if he wasn't careful.

"I don't know," she responded as if that was a stupid question. She frowned because what she did know didn't add up to much. After scouring her brain for a few seconds she added: "I know you're not supposed to shake them." Finn laughed.

"There's a start I guess. I think we should take some sort of classes though."

"It would be nice to not feel so clueless," Santana declared. She quickly covered her own anxiety on the subject with a slightly mean grin in his direction. "For you. Nice for you."

"I'm being serious here, Santana," Finn said with obvious frustration in his voice and on his face. Santana rose a single eyebrow at him and scoffed, turning to face the car window yet again. She wasn't going to deal with his attitude. And apparently Finn wasn't going for hers either. "I'm tired of you acting like that," he practically growled.

"Like _what_, Finn?" Santana snapped, once again facing Finn. She looked him up and down with a frown, eyes flashing. "Act like what?"

"I don't know, Santana, a bitch?" he said with a shrug, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. Santana scoffed and sat up straighter.

"Are you serious right now? You're calling me a bitch? _The mother of your child_?" She used the most condescending voice she could muster on the last sentence. Cliche seemed to fit this conversation so she went for it. Finn didn't seem to pick up on this or just didn't care; he was too incensed to detect sarcasm.

"Quit being a bitch then! Can't you just talk to me like a normal person? You don't seem to have issues communicating with Brittany, but when it comes to me you just-" he threw one hand up in the air as if waving away a fly. "I hate that."

"When the hell did you grow a fucking pair, Finn Hudson?" she shrieked, shaking with rage. How dare he? He was the one that had been playing coy and stupid, then overshared, and then kept pressing! Didn't he realize this was a crap ton of things to take in at once? Did he not get that this was hard for her and that they needed to take all this baby stuff one little thing at a time? Hell they just found out the gender, wasn't that enough for one day?

"Since I learned I was going to become a father," he replied in earnest, his tone far more reasonable than hers. She could reach over and strangle him right now for getting her riled and then trying to act like he was the calm voice of reason when he'd all but started this. Of course, he was going on fairly calmly now, and she fought back the urge to physically hurt him. "I want to be a good dad."

"I want to be a good mom," she said hesitantly. She'd had this talk with Quinn, but no one else. Especially not Finn. She'd hoped to have a handle on this situation before it ever came up. Unfortunately that just hadn't happened yet.

"I'm afraid I'm going to screw up," Finn admitted, running a hand through his hair with a pained look on his face. Santana mirrored his expression. She felt exactly the same.

"Me too," she said in a low voice.

"That's why I snapped at you. I need you to take this seriously. Because it's serious."

"I know that, Finn. I know that."

"She deflects," Brittany piped up from the back seat, for the first time in many minutes. Santana twisted in her seat to give Brittany a look. Her friend merely shrugged. "I heard Quinn say it once."

"That's true," Finn agreed with a nod of his head. "You do deflect."

"Shut up, Finn. You don't know me," Santana tossed, again shutting down. Where did this guy get off? And why was Brittany speaking?

"I've been _trying_," Finn almost whined. Santana was sure he was trying to be honest or whatever but GD it if he wasn't just coming off annoying. At this point she just wanted to disagree with him so she wouldn't have to agree, if only to make him mad.

"You haven't."

"You guys just keep arguing about nothing," Brittany spoke again, sounding as if listening to them fight was exhausting her. Santana eyed Brittany up and down with muted disdain.

"You're the one who brought up the fact that I deflect," Santana retorted. She wasn't sure how many more ways she could express displeasure at this entire car ride so she threw her hands up in the air and groaned.

"The fact?" Finn pressed, and she could tell he was suppressing a grin. God damn it! She'd said that hadn't she? She grimaced and looked at him menacingly.

"You know what Finn, I'm going to deflect you right in the face!"

"I think parenting classes are a good idea," Brittany piped up, another effort to make her friends shut the hell up already. Finn just turned his eyes back to the road and chuckled. Okay so he'd won one, and Brittany had provided her with an out to this petty arguement. Not that she wanted one. She realized that she was drawing this out for no reason and promptly chalked it up to hormones. It was the first time she felt legitimately taken over by the chemical changes in her body brought on by the being pregnant. She let that sink in and frowned. The hell if she couldn't control herself any more... She rolled her eyes to her self. Well it wasn't like she'd had very good self-control in the first place. She took a deep breath and then blew the air out of her lungs slowly in attempt to calm herself.

"I like that idea," she said evenly. Brittany flashed her a smile, settling back in her seat and peering at the ultrasounds again. Finn glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "The parenting classes. It's a good idea." Finn said nothing, but smiled to himself, which naturally elicited another eye roll from her. She turned to look out the window again, happy that was over.

With that settled, they returned back to silence, with a few more confused remarks from Brittany concerning the sonogram she still insisted on studying. Santana was still perplexed at her feelings and although she was sure it really didn't matter, about Finn's as well. He did call her a bitch. And she had to admit, it wasn't entirely unwarranted. With a small "hmm" under her breath, she decided to come back to this at a later date. For now, they were here to celebrate their last day of school and kick off the summer right with their friends. Already it was proving to be a highly interesting break.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Lots o' dialogue for you but here we are!**

Brittany was over at Santana's place, sitting idly watching Santana get ready so they could go out to the lake that night with a few of the members from Glee Club. They'd been out of school for three weeks and were already bored of summer, and had been meeting at the lake like any bored teens in a small town would have to resort to every other day or so. Santana didn't even mind spending so much time with people she once considered major losers. Rachel had tried to organize the get together tonight, but thankfully Tina and Mercedes took over, so it may actually be something worth showing up to for them now. Only the Glee Club girls and Finn, Puck, Mike, and Matt were coming, as Artie had an obvious disadvantage and Kurt had no desire to spend any time around a natural body of water. Santana was lost in her closet, rooting around for some jean shorts that would fit. After trying on her last pair to no avail, she flung them down in a fit of anger.

"I'm so friggin' fat!" Brittany looked mildly bored and was playing with her sunglasses in her hands. She glanced at Santana and shrugged.

"You look fine, Santana." Santana snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Look!" Santana lifted up her shirt, her normally flat stomach now rounded ever so slightly. To a normal person it would look like she'd just had a big lunch, but to the two normally svelte athletes Santana might as well have gained twenty pounds over night. "It's all fat!" Brittany stared at Santana's belly, her eyes wide. "I know! It's awful! What am I supposed to do now? I've got like, no shorts I can wear." Santana waited for Brittany to say something to make her feel better. She looked at her expectantly, but Brittany just kept looking at her stomach. "Brittany." A few more moments passed, and she tried again. "Brittany." Nothing. She was starting to get irritated. "Brittany! Britt!" Brittany snapped to and shook her head slightly.

"Sorry. When I'm staring, I can't hear."

"What do I do?" Santana asked, pushing past her friend's comment like normal.

"Well what's wrong with what you're wearing now?" Brittany asked, gesturing towards the cut off sweatpant shorts and oversized t-shirt Santana was still wearing from when she ran earlier in the afternoon.

"That's totally 80's and I refuse!" Santana protested. "And the shorts feel too tight," she added with a little tug at the back of her shorts, a frown on her face. Brittany sighed. Already this baby was causing Santana to act more snippy than usual, which was saying something.

"Leggings, long tank top," she suggested. Santana just looked at her blankly, but she liked the suggestion. She surveyed the contents of her closet again and plucked a heather grey tank top and a pair of black leggings out. She offered the outfit out to Brittany for approval, and after a nod quickly changed. Brittany smiled triumphantly at the final result.

"You look good! Now throw on some jewelry and let's go already. Quinn is going to be here in seven minutes." Santana grumbled to herself but continued getting ready, hemming and hawwing over what earrings to wear. She heard someone thunder up the stairs and knew it wasn't Quinn from the speed the person was going.

"Santana!" Her door burst open, revealing her brother Hendrix. "Hey, Quinn is downstairs waiting for you two." She eyed her brother with a wrinkled nose.

"What did you have to run for?"

"Just felt like it." He gave Brittany a smile before turning back to his sister. "Mom and dad are letting you go out again?"

"Yeah. And?" Her brother shrugged one of his shoulders.

"I'm just saying, maybe you should be staying home more now. Since you're-" he waved a hand in a circular motion over his own stomach. Santana rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, it's a Glee Club thing. It's as innocent as a lamb."

"It's not like anything worse can happen," Brittany added, and she giggled at her own joke.

"Ha ha," Santana deadpanned, rolling her eyes again. "Thanks for the concern, Hendrix. But we're going now." She grabbed Brittany's hand and her overnight duffelbag, and brushed past Hendrix.

Quinn was talking to her mother downstairs, chatting animatedly. Santana took stock of her friend as the two finished their conversation. Quinn looked good post-baby, almost as good as she did before she was pregnant. She was wearing a light pink sundress, and her hair was up, twisted into a ponytail and clipped up, loose tendrils framing her face. Already she was sunkissed, her cheeks and the tops of her shoulders slightly tanner than the rest of her skin. Yep, Quinn Fabray was back in action. Satisfied with her assessment, she greeted her friend. "Hey Quinn. You ready?" Quinn looked at her two friends and nodded, smiling.

"Ready as ever. Bye Mrs. Lopez!" Santana's mom chuffed and patted Quinn's shoulder.

"See you later darling. I'll see you later too, Brittany. You girls have fun!"

"Bye Mama!" Brittany chirped, using the same name for Santana's mother as Santana herself used, out of habit.

"Bye dear," Mrs. Lopez smiled, not minding it at all, since Brittany was practically a daughter to her anyway. She looked at her biological daughter and cleared her throat. "A word, sweetheart." Quinn grabbed Brittany's hand, and Brittany let go of Santana's.

"We'll wait in the car," Quinn said knowingly, and the two left the house, leaving Santana and her mother alone. Santana did not have to wait long before her mother started in on her.

"I know this is just a Glee Club thing, but there will likely be alcohol," she began. Santana made as if to say something, but her mother held up her hand. "Santana, I was once your age. I know how it works. I've never said anything before because you're my daughter, and I know you're a good girl, underneath the snark and Ice Queen image, and that you're smart. But now that you're pregnant, I need you to be even more aware of your actions at these types of things. You know it's not okay to drink, right?" she asked, ducking her head slightly so she was more on eye level with her daughter.

"Yes, Mama, I know that. No drinking, no jumping on trampolines, no sushi, and no crack," Santana told her sarcastically. She shifted uncomfortably. She wasn't home often and the past several times Santana had gone out, she hadn't been around to express these concerns. Santana's mom was not usually one for these kinds of talks. Obviously. It felt foreign and awkward for both of them.

"Good girl. And be careful, okay? Watch out for yourself." Santana nodded, sensing she was almost done. "You're a smart girl," her mother reiterated. "Use that to your advantage."

"Can I go?" Her mother kissed her forehead and sighed.

"Yes, you can go. Have fun, baby." Santana gave her mother a smile and walked towards the door and opened it.

"We'll probably crash out there, or at Brittany's or something," Santana called over her shoulder as an afterthought. She was about to continue on her way when her mother stopped her.

"I'd prefer it if you stayed here tonight," she said tentatively. She wasn't used to giving rules and boundaries just as much as Santana wasn't used to her doing it. Santana turned her shoulders slightly, rooted where she stood halfway out of the door, one hand on the doorknob.

"It's just the lake, Mama. It's not Vegas or whatever."

"Baby, it's just with you being pregnant, I don't know that you staying out all night and all that... It just doesn't seem appropriate." Santana rarely saw her mother unarticulated, but this dealing with her pregnant teen daughter seemed to be her undoing in that department. She knew if she pushed she would get her way, but she was debating on if it was worth the upset.

"Maybe," she said tentatively, pausing because she really wasn't sure what she was going to say to that. It seemed stupid to her, but again, probably not worth the fight and Quinn and Brittany were waiting for her in the car anyway. Her mother let out a deep sigh, placing a hand over her face as if this conversation were hurting her.

"This is silly. You go and have a good time with your friends. Stay out at the lake or at Brittany's. I just stood here and told you you were smart and that I trusted you," she said, placing her hand on her hip. Santana gave her an odd look, confused but not willing to extend this conversation by asking what exactly was wanted of her.

"I'll text you and let you know where I am for the night?" she said, lilting her statement as a question. Maybe that was a good compromise but she couldn't be sure. This had never been an issue before.

"Yes, that works," her mother agreed quickly. Santana could tell she didn't like doing this, at all. Which frankly was fine with her. She could handle herself anyway. She waited a few more seconds before gesturing towards the door. Her mom nodded her head and waved her arms. "Yes, yes, go on. Be safe." With that Santana flew from the house, happy to get away from that scenario as quickly as possible.

* * *

"Penny for your thoughts?" Rachel had come up behind her, disturbing her introspective reflections. Santana scooted over so there was room for Rachel to sit on the end of the dock, even if she didn't exactly feel like her company right now. Or ever. But the fact that she didn't want to shove Rachel into the lake was still progress, right?

Rachel settled herself down beside her, and removed her flip flops so that she too could dangle her feet into the water. They watched the boys try to drown each other for a long time, Brittany and Tina cheering them on from a safe distance. Santana smiled when Finn dunked Puck, and gave a small chuckle when he hollered in triumph. She noticed that Rachel was also smiling. Ah. She sighed lightly, shifting her weight more forward.

"You love him, don't you?" she asked of Rachel softly. Her toe trailed the water as she swung her foot over the top of the lake, skimming it's blueish surface.

"I don't really know any more. I thought I did, and sometimes I still think I might," Rachel admitted, her normal high and mighty air completely gone. She must have taken note that Santana wasn't her usual bitchy self and let her own guard down. They were just two girls sitting on a dock, not the dangerous popular girl and the high strung Gleek, for a few moments at least. "With all of the baby drama going on, he's changing," Rachel said with a hint of sadness in her voice. She looked at Santana pointedly. "In a good way, for you and your baby. He's going to be a good father, you know." Santana nodded, still watching Finn in the water. Yes, even she could tell Finn was going to be a good dad. He would be there for his child, and support it. Love it. "But as he shifts from being this awkward teenage man-child to the man he is becoming, he's making it harder for me. I like kids, but I can't be overly involved in this." Rachel gestured to Santana's baby bump, but Santana wasn't offended.

She hadn't felt the same way about Puck when he got Quinn pregnant, but she could understand that it was an entirely different scenario, first of all because all that was was sex. Secondly, they'd known that Quinn wasn't keeping Beth from the start. They'd also known that Santana was keeping her baby. It wasn't the same as sharing your guy with another girl, emotionally at least, for nine months. Finn was going to be committed to her in one shape or form for the rest of his life if they had this kid together. He was already weaving his way into her life as it was, calling to check on her daily and teaching her how to drive. Santana wondered how much Rachel had thought about this, but didn't feel the need to ask. It was obviously enough.

"It's selfish, but I have dreams and goals of my own, and they don't revolve around kids, my own or my significant other's. Not yet. And he is going to be raising a child with _you_. You're going to be an intricate part of his life. And I refuse to try and compete with that. I simply won't do it." Again Santana understood where the brash brunette was coming from, prickling her nerves slightly. Since when did she "get" Rachel Berry? She pushed past the disgusted feeling and nodded with a sigh.

"Does Finn know this?" Santana asked, turning her head slightly to face Rachel. She wasn't sure if past that giant scene in the choir room if the two had actually spoken or not. Rachel nodded her head slowly.

"He does. We've talked about it... in great detail. I think we're really over for good this time."

"I'm sorry for that, Berry. I thought you guys really had something." Rachel just smiled sadly, her gaze returning back to their friends in the water.

"I thought so."

"I'm sorry for... what I did. While you were dating..." Santana was spared from having to apologize when Rachel cut her off.

"Santana, it's seriously almost a non-issue now. Let's just... move past it. But I accept. For the team, we can't have any more animosity than we already have." Rachel looked back out at the water pensively, and Santana followed her gaze. Rachel continued to speak, neither girl making eye contact. "We weren't dating technically anyway. And it's not like you didn't get punished in some way, shape, or form." Santana nodded. True enough. Getting pregnant was the ultimate consequence for having sex with someone else's... whatever Finn and Rachel are to each other. Or were. She understood why Rachel held her no ill will.

The two conceded to mutual and not unfriendly silence, and when the others emerged from the lake they rejoined their group of friends and they all proceeded to build a fire. And by "all", mostly the guys, as the girls ordered them around as the boys found timber to start their fire and declared pieces of wood too wet or too dry, spawning plenty of immature jokes from both genders. They went on and had a grand time, everyone but Santana drinking and getting pretty far gone for the most part. Santana didn't grumble, knowing full well she couldn't partake even if she wanted to. Besides, Tina and Mercedes were absolutely hysterical drunk, and she got enough laughs in over the course of a few hours than she felt she ever had when they were in school.

Well past midnight, the fire had died and everyone else had fallen asleep under the stars. Santana lay awake, one arm under her head and the other at her side. It was hot, so she'd simply laid on top of her sleeping bag instead of between the insulated layers, like most everyone else as well. She plucked grass with her free hand and tossed it back at the ground in an anxious manner. She wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep out here, as she normally didn't, at least not with the threat of all the bugs and coyotes and whatnot lingering in the back of her mind. She'd conceded this once, mostly because Brittany had wanted to. Just as she closed her eyes to try to sleep, she heard a rustling of tall grass.

Her eyes shot open, wide with fear. Turning her head quickly, she saw what she thought was Finn crawling nearer to her across the ground, avoiding a sleeping Tina and Mike in the effort. When it became obvious it was a person for sure, she relaxed. As he got closer it was clear it was Puck and not Finn at all. His presence might not be exactly welcome but he wasn't a coyote or axe murderer, at least.

"Scoot," he slurred when he got to her, motioning with his hands. She could smell the alcohol on his breath still and couldn't resist the urge to chuckle. He'd had probably more beer than anyone else and was plenty drunk. She scooted anyway, and let him lay close to her on her sleeping bag. He roughly adjusted her so that she was laying her top half on his chest, and she normally would have protested except for the fact she knew she could run faster than him if it came down to a bear jumping out of the woods or something. Especially since he would definitely not be steady on his feet. She lay her head down on him and brought a hand up to rest on his shoulder.

"Hi," she whispered, not wanting to wake anyone else. She could only imagine how this would look if anyone saw, but wasn't overly concerned. What worse could they possibly think of her?

"Hey," he whispered back. She angled her head up so she could look at him, and he smiled. "Can't sleep?"

"Not really," she admitted, laying her head back down. She wasn't going through the effort of being a bitch; she was wound down for the night and she was sure he wouldn't remember this tomorrow anyhow.

"Me either."

They lay there together, simply breathing in the night air and being. After a few minutes and without warning, he kissed her. It was quick, but the force behind it meant something. What, she wasn't sure, but definitely something. She debated on reciprocating but before she could decide he did it again, this time longer, harder, and with tongue. She reached a hand up for his face and gave in, closing her eyes and enjoying the kiss as it deepened. He wasn't with Quinn right? She wasn't with anyone... This was okay. Them kissing, this was okay. It'd been so long since she'd had the chance to be physical with anyone, let alone Puck, and she really didn't feel like passing up what seemed like a prime opportunity to release some pent up sexual frustrations.

She could feel his hand creeping up between their pressed bodies, and didn't think to stop him as he easily slid a hand up her sleep shorts through a loose pant leg. She felt her heartrate quicken; it'd been so long (for her) since she'd been touched in that way. All sexual activities had stopped once she'd found out she was pregnant, as per Finn's request.

_Finn_. Stupid Finn! Stupid Finn and his stupid rules! They'd said no sex. This was definitely, definitely heading that way. What was she thinking anyway? She was pregnant. She didn't need to be fucking Puck. That's what got her where she was now, sex without thinking about consequences. And if she didn't stop this now, she'd just be perpetuating this cycle of dumb choices.

"No," she said quickly, using both hands on Puck's chest to scoot herself away from him. When there was a good foot or so between them, she crossed her arms over her chest and drew her legs up, a frown on her face. Since when had Santana ever said no? She knew he was thinking the exact same thing when he looked at her confused, his eyes still hazy from alcohol.

"What do you mean, "no"?" he asked, and if Santana wasn't sure _she_ was sober, she'd have thought she had imagined the hurt tone of his voice.

"Puck, I can't. I promised Finn."

"Promised Finn what?" he pressed, sitting up on an elbow and giving her a hard stare. It wasn't hard to tell he was displeased.

"That I wouldn't have sex until after the baby is born," she explained softly, crossing her arms tighter. She wasn't entirely happy about this sudden moral integrity she was forced to have, but she couldn't break the rules she'd made with Finn. She was carrying his baby. That pretty much settled it in her mind.

"Oh. The baby." The change in his voice made her frown into the darkness. What was with everyone and feelings today? He sighed deeply and held a hand out towards her stomach, laying it on the sleeping bag and not touching her at all. She moved herself backwards a little more so that there was no risk of him touching her, even accidentally.

"Yeah, because of the baby." She watched his face for a few moments, trying to decipher it. Unhappy, check. Still drunk, check. Regret? "It wouldn't be right. Do you understand?" He nodded, the hand that had been laying too close for comfort now straying up to her face, cupping her cheek. He ran a thumb over her bottom lip as he looked at her sadly.

"I do."

"What is it?" she asked in a barely audible whisper. If _she _wasn't one to get all touchy-sensitive-feelings, then Puck definitely wasn't. But she asked anyway.

"I just really wanted a fuck," he answered flippantly, removing his hand quickly from her face and turning to lay on his back again.

"Puck..." She knew that for sure wasn't it. Or at least not all of it. She was prepared to wait, and she did, the silence just about as pregnant as she was. That's what she felt like she'd done all day anyway: wait for people to spill their guts out to her. It was getting old but she supposed there wasn't much she could do about it.

"Is it bad to say I kind of wanted her to be mine?" Puch said after a few moments. Santana didn't answer because the answer she had was harsh and scathing. So she said nothing. Puck didn't seem to mind, and then she realized it was probably a rhetorical question as he went on. "Just... Quinn didn't really give me much of a chance to be a father. And I know I could do it. I'd be a good dad." Santana couldn't contain the scoff she felt pressing at the back of her throat. He turned his head and looked at her with a hurt expression. "Hey. I never said a good boyfriend. A good dad. I'd be a good dad."

"Puck you have no business being a father. You're seventeen. No one needs that," Santana told him, trying to use a soft voice but failing at hiding her disgust. Who the hell would want to be a parent at this age? If she could rewind, she'd never have slept with Finn, would get on birth control, and keep her legs closed. Puck was just so stupid sometimes.

"I know. But. Everyone just thinks I'm this fuck-up..."

"You are," Santana interjected, trying to tease him, but Puck didn't pay her any attention.

"And having a kid practically forces you to not be a fuck-up."

"Your logic is a little skewed, but okay," Santana admitted. True enough. Once you were about to become a parent, you weren't allowed to be a screw up anymore. Look at her, she'd started a job, was slowly but surely learning how to drive, and she'd just denied sex. She would never admit she was a screw up to begin with, she felt she wasn't, but she was definitely on the right track here. "But why don't you just try not being a fuck-up? Stop throwing kids in dumpsters, stop vandalizing cars, whatever else you do. No eighteen year minimum commitment involved. You don't need a kid to force you to change. Just do it for yourself." Puck's eyes were wide at the end of her comments, and he looked at her as if she were Jesus or something.

"How'd you get so smart, Santana? That was actually good advice," he said in a shocked voice. Santana smiled and uncrossed her arms, scooting closer to Puck again. She promptly rested her head back on his chest and sighed.

"I've always been pretty brilliant," she teased. Puck gave her a small, friendly kiss on the top of her head.

"Well remind me of all of this in the morning, will you? I have a feeling this conversation will be not much more than a fuzzy memory by the time I sober up fully." Santana nodded her head against the fabric of his shirt and closed her eyes. Now Puck was silent, and she too said nothing, instead listening to the steady beat of his heart underneath her ear. As their breathing became more shallow, the night sounds that surrounded the lake filtered in, creating a soothing lullaby. No longer worried about bugs or coyotes or axe murderers, Santana nuzzled herself under Puck's arm and fell promptly asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I'm officially the worst updater in the WORLD. If anyone is still reading this, _KUDOS TO YOU_. Updates should be happening more regularly now and I hope to goodness I can stick to that. Feel free to pester me relentlessly for updates. ... It actually works_._ (I promise!)**

_Honk. Honk. Honk. _

Santana turned in the mostly empty parking lot of Sheets N' Things, restraining from bursting out into laughter at the sight before her. Brittany had the keys to Santana's new car that her dad had bought her once she'd started to learn to drive, and she was pressing the "lock" button on the remote, causing the car to toot it's horn at each press. This fairly delighted Brittany, who was gleefully dancing around and making the car honk in time to her movements, a huge smile on her face, much to Quinn's chagrin. She was still in the car, door open, rummaging around for her phone she'd misplaced somewhere between her home and Sheets N' Things. Santana was content to let Brittany play with it as they made their way through the lot to the store's front entrance, but Quinn was getting more and more irritated at the other blonde's silly game.

"Brittany! Please! At least wait until I'm out of the car! I'm being deafened!" Quinn yelled, throwing an angry look over her shoulder in Brittany's direction before returning to her task. Santana stood by a cart return and waited, though she was eager to get inside the store. Finn was getting off soon, and Santana, Brittany, and Quinn were meeting him to go to Carole and Burt's wedding reception that was to start in an hour. The two had gotten married earlier that day quietly in a court house, with just their sons present, but the reception promised to be a large affair, full of people and food.

Santana was a little nervous and didn't want to be late, having only spent minimal time around Carole and even less time around Kurt's father. She had no desire to give a bad impression, especially not after Brittany's slip up the first time she'd met the now Mrs. Hummel. After the reception, Finn was taking her, Brittany, and Quinn back to the Hummel residence to show off the almost completed nursery, which Santana was anxious to see, and then he was going to take Santana clothes shopping as all of her clothes and even a lot of Quinn's maternity wear were just not cutting it anymore. Twenty two weeks seemed to be the magical time that Santana just started ballooning, to her horror. She glanced back at her friends again and tried not to laugh.

"Oh please! You obviously can still see! You're still looking for your phone!" Brittany called back to Quinn in a sing-song voice, still dancing merrily.

"Dumbass, I said _deaf_, not blind!" When the horn sounded again, Quinn stood up and slammed the car door, having finally found her phone, her face red. "Brittany! You go and take that back to Santana right now before I resort to smacking that blonde head of yours!" Quinn openly seethed, and Santana was kind of happy that it wasn't her being a grouch for once. Brittany stopped dancing and sidled up to Santana in an apologetic manner, holding out the keys for Santana to take.

"Here. I can't be trusted with this wonderful thing." Santana took the keys and shoved them into her purse, then patted Brittany on the shoulder.

"I'll let you play with it all you want later," she assured her friend, and instantly Brittany's smile was back. They waited for Quinn to catch up and then the three walked into the store, immediately spotting Finn.

"Hey!" Finn called, his face errupting into a huge grin once he'd spotted them. He chucked off his apron and tossed it at Howard, who frowned but went to go hang it up in the employee's locker room. Santana couldn't help herself but to smile too, genuinely happy to see Finn.

The two shared a quick embrace as had become common practice for them over the past month and a half, spawned by what Finn percieved to be a life-threatening first car ride with Santana in the driver's seat and what Santana just saw as the first time she pressed down on the accelerator when she was supposed to press down on the brake. Ever since then, whenever they'd stepped out of the car alive, they'd hugged out of relief to still be breathing. Eventually, that "We didn't die!" hug turned into a "hello" and "goodbye" one as well. Santana didn't mind it, coming to enjoy the brief moments when their bodies were pressed together, the smell of Finn's cheap cologne and the feel of his arms around her, as odd as it seemed. She was pretty sure it was because she wasn't getting laid. It was just another thing she chalked up to her baby hormones.

"You guys ready to go?" he asked as they broke apart, still draping an arm around Santana's shoulders. They all headed to Santana's car and Finn happily agreed to drive. Then started the game that had become quite common place: Name the Baby. They would throw out names and everyone was supposed to react as truly as they felt. Santana had few ideas but was extremely picky, and Finn had far too many ideas. Brittany's were mostly ridiculous but Quinn often thought of pretty names both Finn and Santana liked. They would all argue and eventually pick the best name out of the round, and then it was added to the list Santana kept in her purse.

"Hannah!" Brittany suggested, one of her more normal suggestions.

"If that's because of Hannah Montana, the answer is no, Britt," Santana said, a file in her hands as she preened for no reason. She'd been imaculate before she'd left the house, but she pretended to "fix" her nails anyway. Brittany frowned and sat back in her seat.

"It wasn't..." Brittany argued under her breath, and Santana knew very well that's exactly where she'd gotten the name.

"Tilly!" Finn exclaimed with a snap of his fingers. "Like that game, Tilly-Winks. I loved that game when I was a kid."

"Tiddly-Winks?" Quinn questioned, an eyebrow arched perfectly as she gave Finn a confused look.

"Tilly, Tiddly, same thing," Finn said flippantly as he shrugged.

"No Tilly or Tiddly," Santana said firmly.

"Dora?" Brittany piped up again, and Santana felt this warranted her to turn around in her seat and shake her head vehemently at Brittany's idea.

"No. Way."

"Carmen is pretty," Quinn said thoughtfully, a finger poised on her chin as she mulled this one over.

"_Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego_?" Finn and Brittany sang out at the same time, happy grins on their faces that they both thought of the same thing. Santana shook her head again.

"No go."

They carried on this way, only adding "Charlotte" and "Sierra" to Santana's list by the time they reached the REC building just outside of Lima. The huge yellow tin building was a sight, but it was the only place big enough for everyone who was invited to convene. Already mostly full, Finn had a hard time parking, but eventually did. They all hopped out of the car, and as they all started to walk towards the entrance of the building, Santana noticed how nervous Finn looked and fell into step beside him as the other two walked ahead. Brittany and Quinn didn't seem to notice, Brittany pestering Quinn about something or other, and Quinn getting more and more annoyed. Santana touched Finn gently on the elbow, and when he turned his head to look at her she gave him a small smile.

"You okay?" Finn asked her, furrowing his brow at her. "You seem pretty happy." Santana gave a short laugh and nodded.

"I'm fine. Are _you _okay? You don't look too hot there, stud," she replied, her voice soft and not it's usual snarky tone. Almost as if she liked him. It was true, during their driving lessons she'd come to appreciate Finn a bit more, maybe respect him. Yeah, she definitely liked him at least. He was a good guy if you overlooked his IQ and his awkwardness. He was calmer than her, much more patient, and that came in handy more than once during their driving adventures. Plus he was funny, and even though he liked shitty movies and music, he let her pick what they listened to and watched. And he liked to take her out for burgers, which she particularly enjoyed. Finn shrugged his shoulders but shook his head.

"I have something I want to give you, but I'm not sure how." Santana froze in her tracks, and Finn walked a few more steps before he realized she'd stopped, but Brittany and Quinn kept right on walking. He turned around to face her and moved in a little closer to her. "I think maybe now is a good time."

Santana looked at him with wide eyes, every fiber of her being telling her to run the hell back to her car and drive away. _Something_ for her? The tone that he used wasn't promising, and the fact that he seemed nervous was not a good sign for her. What if it was a freaking promise ring or something? Or worse, an engagement ring. Her blood suddenly ran cold. She was not marrying Finn over this baby, screw that!

Despite her face, he reached into his pocket, and Santana started to panic further, her breath hitching in her throat. When Finn took his hand back out of his pocket, though, he didn't have a box, a bag, or even a plastic globe like the rings from a candy machine come in. Instead he held a scrap of blue fabric. Noting her expression duly now, he shuffled his feet a bit and held it out to her, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. She took it carefully and looked from the material to Finn, confused.

"What's this?"

"That's my geegee. My dad gave it to me before he died... And I gave it to Quinn when I thought..." Santana acknowledged what he was going to say with a knowing nod of her head, saving him from saying it. "Anyway, I got it back, and I wanted to give it to you, for our baby. It's kind of special to me." She let out her breath in a rush of air, automatically tearing.

"Finn... That's... That's really sweet. Thank you." Sure the thing had a stupid name, but just the mention that it came from his dad, and knowing what she knew about him from Finn's rambles in the privacy of her car during lessons, she understood how much this meant to Finn. Finn's father died when Finn was very young, and he hadn't known his father except for the stories his mom shared with him. And now that they had combined households with the Hummels, this was one of the few pieces he had of his dad, having moved out of their home and gotten rid of most of their old furniture. The fact that he wanted the baby to have it was oddly touching, and Santana felt her throat tighten. A few tears fell and she wiped at her face with the back of her hand, embarrassed at the uncharacteristic display of emotion. This baby was making her a mess, but she knew Finn wouldn't care right now.

"You're welcome," Finn said softly, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn't comment on the fact she was crying, but moved to stand between her and the building, blocking anyone coming out of or standing outside's view of her. He waited until she had regained her composure and said nothing, but took her hand as they resumed their walk to the reception. The two shared a lingering look before entering the building, dropping each other's hands as Finn opened the door, allowing Santana to go in before him. Before she did, Santana carefully tucked the geegee away in her purse, and throughout the rest of the evening kept sneaking a hand inside to feel the bit of blanket, ensuring that it was kept safe.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Nanaanana! Updaaaaaaate! :D If this chapter seems familiar, a dear friend of mine did a similar oneshot some months ago with loosely the same idea. She was kind enough to let me borrow the scene and mold it into this chapter. Now MONTHS later it's finally getting posted up haha!**

The text was ominous: "_Meet me at Motel 8 . Be there. Santana_". She kind of liked it that way, knowing Finn couldn't imagine what the hell she would want, and despite himself he would let his imagination run wild as he finished up his shift at Sheets N' Things. She sat back easily at the kitchen island and drummed her fingers on the counter.

Of course, she had her own wandering thoughts about the evening... Most of which she was pretty sure came out of left field, but let herself entertain them anyway. And naturally her first thought was sex.

Motel sex didn't _seem _like a wonderful idea given the situation they were in now, but maybe the second time would be different since she was carrying his kid? She quickly derailed that train of thought. He didn't even really like her like that. And she was sure she felt the same. Or maybe not? She didn't really know, her head was so confused lately. Finn was nice. Like, really nice. Genuine. She'd never had a guy treat her the way he did before... He was patient and teased her and made her feel like he actually wanted her company as opposed to... Well, just sex. She almost laughed at herself for being the shallow one in this dynamic. Not that she just wanted sex... She actually liked Finn.

And he gave her that damn geegee. She frowned, scooting back in her stool and hopping down carefully, making her way to where she hid the scrap of fabric. Taking it out of her purse, she lifted it to her face and rubbed it on her cheek. Though it was practically a relic, it still maintained most of it's softness.

The geegee meant something more serious than either one of them cared to admit... Their touches were lasting longer, gazes lingering a bit more than normal, smiles more frequent. Or was she imagining that too? She sighed and put the blanket back, tucking it away securely.

No, she'd told him there was no chance in hell they would ever be together. And she knew that he knew her well enough to know that she meant it. At the time anyway.

She had a basic plan in mind for the evening anyway, and it would make Finn happy enough. She found it odd that she wanted to make him happy, but she was going with it for now. What she did have planned would be interesting she was sure, but definitely not sex. She heard the little voice in the back of her head mutter "_Sex isn't dating_" and she stopped in her tracks. Since when did she become such a horndog? Those baby books she finally got around to reading were not lying when they said being pregnant messed with your libido in a big bad way. Too bad she couldn't do anything about it.

Eventually nine o'clock rolled around and Finn found himself outside of the same Motel where he'd lost his virginity to Santana. He was debating on whether or not to go in when he saw her, walking up the sidewalk, a large box in her hands. They greeted each other and stood awkwardly for a beat before Finn offered to take the box from her. She happily unloaded her burden onto him and with a hint of secrecy and anticipatory glee led him through the doors. They didn't stop at the front desk, instead walking up a flight of stairs to the second story. Santana took a left, and Finn trailed along, knowing she'd tell him what was going on when she was good and ready, and not before. She took a cardkey out of her back jean's pocket and swiped it at the door of room 209, and let them in. Finn could contain himself no longer.

"What are we doing here, Santana?" Santana didn't reply right away, instead taking the box from him and setting it on the only bed in the room and opening it. She lifted an XBox 360 controller out and brandished it at Finn.

"I figure we need to make sure you don't develop an irrational fear of motels after that last time," she said simply, a sly smile on her face. Finn searched the box himself and found a copy of Halo 3. His face lit up with sheer childish joy, and he looked at Santana in disbelief, and she knew she had hit her mark with this one. Boys were easy to please really.

"This is awesome! I'm totally down with this idea." Santana looked smug, happy with her excellent planning and marvelous idea. She was in fact very pleased with herself, and even more pleased that he was into this.

Without further ado, Finn hooked up the game system to the TV that was in the room, and the two settled down on the floor with their backs against the end of the bed, and started to play.

"Are we staying the whole night here?" Finn asked nonchalantly as he easily took out Santana's man within the first round, grinning while doing so. Santana scowled and waited for her screen to reload. They'd only been playing for twenty or so minutes and losing wasn't very fun for her, even if it was just a stupid game.

"Seriously, I paid for the whole night, so we're going to get our money's worth," she replied, as bitter as any sore loser would be. She took the opportunity to stretch out her legs.

"Awesome."

The two of them played on through the night, engrossed in their game. Finn won easily for the first hour or so, continually killing Santana within five or six minutes of beginning gameplay. Eventually he took pity on her and started to teach her the ropes, explaining some of the more subtle nuances of the game. Santana had never been one for video games but with Finn's pointers and time she slowly got better and better. Finn quickly regretted showing her how to play the game properly, but persevered, joking and teasing with Santana late into the night.

"I'm kind of tired," Finn announced when it was almost two in the morning. Santana had been kicking his ass left and right, and she could tell he didn't feel like hearing her gloating and talk smack any longer. She shut off the game and shrugged.

"I get it; you're tired of losing," she said matter-of-factly. She got up from the floor and stripped off her shirt right in front of Finn, not caring if he saw anything. She noticed with a little bit of satisfation that Finn was staring. Why wouldn't he, she was a raging beauty. Suddenly she realized he was probably looking at the Buddah belly she had going on, so she turned as she slipped her pants off, embarrassed but not showing it.

"Don't..." Finn said softly, still sitting on the floor in front of the TV. Santana tossed a sharp look over her shoulder at him, questioning what he meant. Surely she wasn't so fat that he was demanding she put on clothes to sleep in! "You never let me see your baby belly," he said, explaining his outburst. He motioned for her to turn around. "I want to see."

"I don't think so," Santana said, pulling her hair out of her ponytail. "In fact, hand me my shirt, I'm putting it back on." Finn shook his head.

"I'm not going to. Let me see first." Santana eyed him incredulously. "Come on, Santana!" Rolling her eyes, she turned her back completely to him and squatted down so that the shirt was in arm's reach. She was about to grab the damn shirt herself when Finn dove for the article of clothing, and hopped up from the floor. He waved it at her teasingly, a doofy smile on his face that she just wanted to smack off right then and there.

"Have you lost your fucking mind? Hand me my shirt," she barked, still squatting. Her stomach wasn't visible as she had her knees drawn to her chest, and she was determined to stay that way until Finn stopped being an ass and gave her back what she wanted. Finn paid no attention to the fact she was just getting more pissed, and made as if to put the shirt over his own head. Santana's eyes widened and she reached a hand out, fingers splayed. "NO! Don't! You'll stretch it! That's one of my favorites!" she screeched.

"Stand up and try to stop me," Finn threw back. It must have been the fact that it was late combined with the sting of losing to her at Halo that made him feel so bold. That, and the fact that they were the only two in the room. Again he acted as if he was about to put the shirt on, which elicited a squeal from Santana. It also caused her to stand up, unthinkingly, blinded by the intense need to preserve her shirt. Only when Finn grinned did she realize what she'd done.

Automatically her hands flew to her stomach, attempting to cover herself from his view again.

"Oh come on, you're being ridiculous. You're adorable!"

"I. Am. Not. Adorable!" Santana seethed, and Finn couldn't help but laugh. In her matching pink panties and bra, hair disheveled, a perfectly round baby bump, and pure hate seeping through her pores, he found her adorable. It struck him odd that he thought this way, but couldn't ignore the fact. "I am hot!" she yelled, not caring if the walls were paper thin. "I am smokin'! I am a sexual, sensual, erotic Goddess! I am not _adorable_!"

"Whatever. Come on, put your hands down," he said, more in earnest than teasing now. "Please?" Santana shook her head violently.

"I'm fat, I'm not going to let you see me like this." It dawned on Finn why she was being so unreasonable: she was insecure with her weight gain. He was sure that the accumulating pounds were frightening for her, since she had always been "a slip of a thing" as his mom would say. Because he was a dude he didn't totally get it, but could sympathize if he tried. He noticed how it was harder for her to sit down or get up now, and how when they'd had to move the seat back in her car to make room for her expanding waistline she'd openly cried.

"You're not fat," he told her gently. He moved a little closer to her, and she scowled harder, brow furrowed. "You're not fat at all. You're hot and smokin' and all that other stuff. And beautiful. You're beautiful pregnant," he said softly with a small smile.

The words probably weren't exactly right, Santana thought, but they were sweet in a Finn way. It was the first time anyone had called her beautiful... And she let it get to her. She hesitantly lowered her hands and she fought to rationalize revealing herself to him... She was only going to get fatter she decided, might as well let him remember what she looked like before she turned into a whale. At twenty three weeks pregnant, she still didn't look way too huge yet, but she remembered when the first tell-tale bulge had freaked her out so badly. She didn't like to think about how much she'd grow in her last weeks of pregnancy.

She visibly shuddered when he placed his hands on her stomach, his hands slightly cool to the touch. He didn't seem to notice, instead getting on his knees and kneeling down by her, eye level with her belly button. One hand lay to one side of the bump, his pinky brushing her hipbone. The other gently rubbed small circles around her belly. His caresses made her stomach do little flips, and she suddenly felt tingly and uncomfortably warm. If he didn't seem so intense right now she'd have said something snarky to make him stop, but she let him continue, his eyes fixed on the swell where their child was growing. She placed a hand on her hip and leaned back slightly, making it more pronounced. Finn began to speak in a low, soft voice.

"Hey baby in there. Hey baby... It's daddy. How are you doing?" he crooned, and Santana could not suppress a smile. Now _he_ was adorable. Closing her eyes, she realized she could get used to this. It felt nice. Of course, Finn was doing it for the baby, but she still liked it. She let herself sigh contentedly. Then suddenly she felt an odd sensation, as if something had struck her from the inside. Her eyes flew open in horror and she gasped. "Did you do that?" Finn asked, his voice excited, looking up at Santana with huge stunned eyes.

"I didn't do it!" she exclaimed, a little scared. Then she realized who did and her face broke out into a huge grin. "It was the baby! That's the first time it moved!"

"And I felt it?" Finn said in shock. He turned his eyes back to her belly and promptly covered it in quick little kisses. Santana didn't mind; her emotions were soaring. She'd never really related too much to the pregnancy, tangled up in preparing for the baby to be here she never really sat and thought about the phase she was currently living through, the fact that she was really growing a human inside of her. And here the baby just made itself known, to both of them at the same time. It was amazing... A heartbeat is one thing, but being able to physically feel it move? That was extraordinary, even to Santana who normally didn't get sentimental about anything.

"That's so fucking cool!" She couldn't help herself, and pressed her hand against her abdomen where Finn was not touching. With a tiny shock she realized this was the first time she'd ever held onto her stomach in any sort of maternal way. In fact she'd conciously avoided it, avoided touching it or letting other people touch it. Even her hugs were odd, only using her upper body. But now Finn rested his hand over hers and smiled up at her adoringly, almost clutching her.

"That was our baby!" Finn gushed, and Santana just nodded, a huge smile plastered on her face. _Their_ baby. _They'd_ done this. Finn had helped her make this tiny creature she was carrying, that she suddenly felt a longing ache for.

Before she knew what was happening, Finn rose up and she sank down at the same time, and their lips crashed together, Finn reaching for her and caressing her cheek with the backs of his fingers. She gave in, melding into the kiss, giving a soft moan into his mouth. As soon as she realized what was happening she stiffened, her mouth going slack against his onslaught. When he noticed he stopped, pulling away. He searched her face, confused and a little afraid of what they'd just been doing.

"Did... I don't know what..."

"I don't know either," Santana admitted, wiping her mouth, embarrassed that she'd gotten away from herself. She met his gaze for a few seconds before shrugging her shoulders. "Pregnancy hormones?" she offered, hoping he'd take that as an excuse, maybe a pardon.

"Pregnancy hormones," he agreed. "Although I'm not pregnant..."

"Osmosis pregnancy hormones," she suggested quickly, knowing that that sounded ridiculous as hell. But Finn took it, latching on to this theory.

"Definitely." They stood avoiding each other's eyes for a few agonizing moments before Finn coughed. "Maybe it's time to sleep..." She agreed with a hearty nod and turned away politely, crawling into the motel bed as he stripped down to his boxers. She looked at him warningly as he made to move towards her.

"You're not sleeping on the bed. Floor." She indicated the paisley carpet with a sweep of her hand, and tossed a pillow on the ground for him. He opened his mouth to protest but she shot him a look that stopped him in his tracks. He swallowed and nodded, knowing it was not worth arguing and he probably shouldn't be anyway.

"Floor. Right."

He found an extra sheet in the motel's closet, and settled down onto the kind of scary carpet. He tossed a bit before deciding there was just no getting comfortable. Santana noted his resignation with a bit of guilt and flicked off the lights, slipping underneath the covers of the queen sized bed.

Truthfully she knew he could have handled sleeping in the same bed with her. But she was pretty sure _she_ wouldn't be able to. Even as she lay there with him out of sight, he was on her mind. The kiss replayed over and over in her mind and she kept telling herself to stop. It was a weird, out of character moment, and she should just ignore it. It didn't mean anything. If sex with him didn't mean anything, kissing definitely didn't mean anything. She should just stop thinking about it and go to bed.

But she couldn't. So she lay there, turning over and trying to find a semi comfortable position, which her belly and crappy motel bed were not aiding her at all in, and fighting with herself to just sleep already. Sneaky thoughts kept slipping in and she sighed exasperatedly. Could she really not control herself if it came down to it? She was disappointed with herself if that was the case. She should try at least. If it turned out to be too much, she could kick him out again, right?

"Finn..." she called in a whisper. "Finn. You can come in the bed..." She waited to hear him sit up, to shuffle over to her. Instead she heard a soft snore. Frowning, she sat up, eyes straining in the dark to get a good look at him. Yep, he was sleeping. Out like a freakin' light. Sighing, she laid back down and once again tried to fall asleep. Eventually she did, drifting off to a dreamland that would only serve to make tomorrow even more awkward than it was already bound to be.

**A/n Two: Does this seem a bit fast to you guys? I'm having terrible pacing problems. I want to finish this story but I don't want to leave too much out to where you guys are like "WTF Cait. What is this!" Let me know! :D**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N I am the worst updater in the world... I just haven't been that inspired lately. Yes, despite the smatterings of Fantana we were given in some of the latest episodes... Since we're on hiatus though I should be able to write more quickly. This chapter is short but the next chapter is already written and, I have to say, is pretty good. ;) So if you're still here, awesome! We've still got several chapters left here! **

The end of August was hot, sticky, and plain uncomfortable for Santana even when she was inside with air conditioning. It was even worse right now, stuck out in the heat with Finn as they stood outside the community center, waiting to get into their parenting class. They had gotten there early for once, and no one else had even arrived yet.

They stood on the sidewalk under what little shade the flimsy awning of the building provided and talked easily, carefully avoiding talking about what had happened in the motel almost a month ago. They were now skilled at skirting the topic and hardly talked about each other anymore. Almost all of their conversations were baby, work, car, or the upcoming school year related now. Santana felt this was almost definitely a regression... But one they needed. They had a baby on the way, and kissing randomly was just better forgotten than discussed.

Besides, they had enough trouble as it was, seeing as school started back so soon, Kurt had decided to redecorate the nursery for the third time, and Finn had started back for football conditioning. Plus they still had these parenting classes to get through, and that alone was a hassle.

The first time they came, only a couple weeks ago, it was apparent that they were different from the other parents there. All of them were couples, most of them having planned their pregnancies. Finn and Santana were the youngest there by at least a decade and a half, and one of the few who weren't married and the only pair not even dating.

The instructor was friendly and helpful, but the high school students could feel the other parents judging, watching them with scrutiny when they were given a task to practice or asked to help demonstrate. And who could blame them really, Santana knew one of the mothers-to-be had tried for years and had four miscarriages before finally having a pregnancy that took. She couldn't blame her for finding Santana's situation slightly mocking. How easy it was to get pregnant, how unwanted at first, how almost haphazard becoming a mother had been. Santana understood, and instead of bonding with these women like she supposed she should be, she distanced herself. Besides she wasn't there to make friends, really.

Finn too was a bit quiet in the classes, but that was to be expected as he was completely out of his element. He had younger cousins, but he'd never dealt with any actual babies before. The same could be said for Santana, and the two were often bewildered by the information they were given, although they picked up fast. The course was only three Saturday's worth of classes, and today was their last one. Santana wasn't sure they were that much closer to being ready for their new baby than they were before.

Eventually the instructor arrived and unlocked the community center's door, letting them in and prepping them for today's activity, and slowly other parents trickled in and pretty soon they started the class. It ended up being a rehash of everything they'd learned the other two days, and Santana was surprised she remembered most of it. She'd never had a head for math so preparing formula was the worst. Luckily, she planned on breast feeding exclusively, so she didn't really need to know that part. The rest she could handle if she could just remember half of it.

They were handed their fake babies and she noticed how Finn's face lit up. They named their baby Jim Bob, despite knowing that they would be getting a baby girl in real life. Finn liked this part with the dolls, which while it prompted many gay jokes, she held them in tactfully and hoped that his enthusiasm for dealing with a fake baby would transfer easily to the real one when she got there.

After reviewing everything from diapering to burping to feeding to not shaking a baby, the class was made to give one giant round of applause and they were all handed certificates. Santana held the thin paper in her hands, staring at the words telling her she'd completed the classes and was a "baby expert". Yeah right.

She frowned but when she glanced over at Finn she saw that he was smiling that doofy grin. He felt accomplished, and she supposed she should too, but she still had her doubts. Fake babies and fake scenarios weren't anything compared to the real thing, she wasn't stupid enough to believe that. But she learned a lot of things she didn't know before, so that much could be said. She hoped they could fill the gap between playing house and actually having a baby at home when the time came.

After they left the community building, they had to go up to the high school and get registered for classes. Santana was nervous, just knowing she'd see her teachers and at least a handful of the Cheerios set her on edge. When the last school year had ended, they'd all known she was pregnant, true enough, but now she _looked_ it. There was just no way to hide her belly now, and she worried about the stares and comments starting anew. It wasn't hard before to squash all of that, but now it was obvious and she had something to constantly remind everyone of her condition.

"What about Nikki?"

Santana snapped her attention to Finn, having almost forgotten she was with him despite him driving. She cracked her neck and sighed.

"It's not bad but it's kind of boring," she told him, knowing if she wasn't honest their daughter would be stuck with some stupid name. "I did think of something for her middle name." Finn looked a little put out that she'd denied one of his suggestions yet again, but nodded.

"What is it?"

"Brinn. Brittany and Quinn put together. Since they'll be her god mothers or whatever."

"I actually like it. Plus it rhymes with Finn," he said happily. He looked at her excitedly, a new idea in his head. "Her first name should rhyme with yours," he suggested. Santana raised an eyebrow as Finn drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought.

"I'm going to save you the trouble of thinking too hard. The only things that rhyme with Santana are Banana, Fantana, Shoshana, and tons of other crappy names," she told him. He looked sad about this so she went on quickly. "It's fine though. We'll find a good name for her when the time comes. A middle name is a good start," she assured.

"Yeah, you're right," Finn agreed, and he seemed happy enough again.

They arrived at the high school and Finn parked the car, getting out and going around to open Santana's car door for her. When she still hung back, he took her hand.

"I know you don't want to, but you might as well get it over with. I think people might be impressed with the fact you're even coming back at all."

"Wow, thanks, Finn," she said with a roll of her eyes. She was sure he didn't mean it the way she took it, but she was hormonal and weird and kind of just wanted to yell at him for even thinking that was okay to say.

Finn didn't rise to the bait, having gotten used to this over the past little bit. It had taken a few of her random outbursts of hate, but he finally learned when she was just a little off and wisely ignored her or agreed. Besides, this was nothing compared to when she was really angry. So he simply tugged on her hand, and she groaned and got up. With a little more assistance from Finn, she was out of the car and the two walked together towards the building.

Fortunately, they were either late or early for registering, and the only other students around were underclassmen or people she didn't know anyway. She couldn't help slouching a bit when Mr. Shue walked past them at the registration tables, stopping to say hi.

"Hey guys! Are you ready for another year?" he asked them both brightly. Finn nodded and grinned, but Santana merely made a non-commital mmm-ing noise. Mr. Shue looked at her sympathetically, but not for long, resuming his cheerful attitude as he looked her up and down, gesturing towards her stomach. "You look good, Santana. When are you due?"

"Middle of November," Finn answered quickly, his excitement for the impending event showing easily. Mr. Shue laughed and gave him a hearty slap on the back.

"Ready, huh? Well good. You're both still singing for Glee right?" Mr. Shue asked, his face suddenly serious.

Both of them nodded, knowing that this was important to Mr. Shue and he'd need them. Glee Club definitely still wasn't cool, and they couldn't afford to lose any members, pregnancy or babies be damned. And Santana wasn't about to quit one of the only things she had going for her at this school. She had a feeling she'd need something to keep her sane until the baby was born, and after. No there was no way she wouldn't be in the club this year.

"Great! That's good to hear. I guess I'll be seeing you guys in two weeks then!"

With that Mr. Shue left them, and they got signed up for the classes they needed and booked it as fast as they could out of the building. They were almost out when a booming voice shouted Finn's name. Santana didn't even have to turn around to know it was one of the football guys, though his name escaped her at the moment.

"Hey, Azimio..." Finn said, trying to muster up some sort of friendliness which Santana automatically picked up on as being forced. The burly guy who distracted them from their exit looked Santana over with scrutiny, eyes resting on the swell of her stomach. He flicked his gaze back up to Finn and gave a nasty grin.

"Hey, _Daddy_. You sure it's yours this time?" Azimio barked, laughing at his own jibe. Santana looked to Finn with a look that she hoped would convey her desire to just leave this alone and just go. There was no reason to stay here and talk to Azimio and Santana was sure this would go nowhere helpful. Instead Finn narrowed his eyes and took a step towards Azimio.

"Yeah. I am," Finn answered defensively. Santana frowned as she watched Finn square his shoulders and stand up taller, and reached for his hand. The other boy caught this and gave a short chortle.

"I don't know how you can be so sure with that one," Azimio said, gesturing towards Santana. "Hell, how do you know this baby isn't Puck's too? Or any other dude's." Finn took another step towards him and Santana pulled futilely on his hand, but Finn didn't pay her any mind, his face angry and turning a bit red.

"Don't talk about Santana like that." Finn was firm, his face close to Azimio's. Santana swallowed and looked back and forth between the two guys. It wasn't that she didn't have faith in Finn's abilities, she just knew Azimio would kick his ass.

"Finn, don't. It's not like I haven't heard it before," Santana said quickly, another tug to Finn's hand just as useless as the first two; Finn ignored her, wresting his hand from hers gently but firmly.

"No. Gear up your gay jokes. Talk about me all you want. I don't care, but she's the mother of my child and you're not going to talk about her like that," Finn practically growled, backing Azimio closer to the hallway wall. Azimio rose both eyebrows but didn't say or do anything. "Got it?" Finn slammed his hands into Azimio's chest, sending him into the wall. No one else was around to see but Santana looked around anyway, reaching for Finn yet again.

"Let's go before you get yourself expelled before the school year even starts," she said, keeping the edge out of her own voice as best as she could. She wanted to smack Azimio in the face, sure enough, but it wouldn't do any good and it would do even less good for Finn to start something. They just needed to get out of there. Thankfully Finn listened and Azimio didn't heckle them any further as they left.

Once they were at the car, Finn slammed his hand on the roof and let out a strangled growl. Santana simply watched, unsure of where this was coming from and a little frightened, having only seen Finn truly upset a handfull of times.

After a few moments Finn seemed calmer, running his hand over his hair and blowing out a large breath of air.

"I'm sorry, I just. I don't think I can deal with that every day. Remember when you scared all those kids in the hallway after everyone found out you were pregnant? That wasn't your job, that was mine. That's my baby, and I need to protect you from... people like that," Finn said, jerking his head towards the school. "I don't think that'll be enough to stop anything but at least Azimio will get the word spread around that I'm not going to be passive when it comes to this."

Santana nodded slowly, understanding where Finn was coming from and feeling a hint of pride as her heart swelled. He wanted to protect her... Well, for the baby's sake. She smiled at him and nodded again.

"Thanks, Finn." She didn't say more and she didn't need to, because Finn didn't expect her to. He was just doing what he thought was right.

"Yeah. Ice cream?" he asked with a grin, and she rolled her eyes.

"Do you even have to ask?"


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Na na na na na! See, updating. Updating good. Read on guys! I know you're probably tiring of the chase, but trust me. It'll be worth it. **

Santana was now very used to being unable to sleep, as had been the trend for the past month. Whether it was the baby or anxiety (her new unwanted friend) or the fact that they'd started back to school or whatever, sleep just wasn't a good friend of hers anymore. So she lay there in the dark, watching the numbers change on her alarm clock and sighing when another ten or fifteen minutes passed and she got no more closer to drifting off.

Squeezing her eyes, she chanted to herself in a breathy whisper: "Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep!"

Of course, it didn't work, but it was worth a shot. Her mind began to wander, thinking of the motel fiasco, reviewing every detail she'd learned in her parenting classes, and almost dreading her upcoming seventeenth birthday. Then her thoughts were interrupted by her phone going off on her nightstand. Probably Brittany with a nightmare or something. She reached out for it and glanced at the glowing screen.

To her surprise, it was Finn calling. She couldn't imagine what he would want at this time of night and almost ignored the call, but just as it was about to go to voicemail she picked up.

"Hello?" she said slowly, her voice low.

"_Were you sleeping_?" Finn asked. "_If you were I'll just hang up_." Santana sighed. He couldn't have texted like a normal person?

"No," she admitted. "I wasn't. Did you need something or were you just randomly calling people to see if they're sleeping at..." She glanced at her alarm clock for the time. "Two in the morning?" Finn chuckled and Santana cracked a small smile. He was in a good mood.

"_Kurt has my mom cooking all these microbiotic vegan vomit-inducing meals and I was just really jonesing for some real food. I'm starving. And I know how much you like to eat. You wanna go get something with me_?"

"Finn, it's two am. I'm in my PJs," she told him, not understanding why he wouldn't just know that. It would take her at least twenty minutes to get ready.

"_Dude, no one is going to care. Throw on a sweatshirt_." Santana rolled her eyes. She was not a "throw on a sweatshirt" kind of girl and didn't plan to become one any time soon. "_Come on, Santana. Just once. I really want a freakin' burger_."

She sucked her teeth, hemming and hawing over the choice. Suddenly she found she was practically starving... She gave in. Just this once couldn't hurt, could it?

"Fine, whatever," she said, feigning disdain. "I'll be ready in five minutes."

"_I'm already here, so whenever you're done just come down_." Santana frowned got up, looking out her window and down onto the street below. Sure enough, there Finn was, idling in his crappy piece of shit car. He saw her and waved, smiling. She shook her head in disbelief.

"You don't play around, do you?"

"_Trust me, if you've been eating what I've had to this past week you'd understand. Sweatshirt_!" She could see him miming putting on a shirt and chuckled.

"I'm coming, God." She hung up the phone and went to her closet, digging for her Ohio State hoodie Sambora had given her a few years ago before he'd graduated from there. She tugged it on and frowned when she noticed that it was a bit tight. Oh well. She was already going out with no make-up and in her pajamas. What difference did it make?

After running a brush through her hair she quietly crept downstairs, and walked outside and down the sidewalk to Finn's waiting car. The door was already open for her and she hopped in.

"See, you look fine," Finn told her, looking her up and down appreciatively. Santana squirmed a little bit and flipped her hair with her hand.

"Yeah well. I'm totally smokin' in anything."

"I dig the bump, too," he added as he reached over and patted her baby belly. Santana scrunched her nose, not sure whether that was a compliment or not. She decided he wouldn't chance pissing her off when he'd drug her out of bed at this time of night. They rode the rest of the way just listening to the radio and it wasn't long before they pulled into Lima's only all night diner. Grabbing a booth, Santana wasted no time ordering when the waitress came to help them.

"We'll need two burgers, an order of fries, an order of onion rings, maybe some wings..." Santana carefully scanned the menu, and her face lit up as she poked at it eagerly, having found what she _really_ wanted. "And a chocolate milkshake!" She closed her menu and handed it out for the waitress. With a flick of her eyes at Finn, she shrugged. "And then whatever he is having." Finn tried not to stare at her in awe at her order, but failed slightly. She raised her eyebrow at him as if daring him to say something.

"I'll have uh... Just a burger and some fries. And a Mt. Dew." The waitress disappeared to fill their order, leaving the two alone. Finn chuckled and sat back against the back of the booth, his eyes settling on Santana. "Did you think of something for that new Glee assignment?"

"Mmhmm, I was thinking about doing an Aaliyah song," Santana told him. She leaned forward, letting her excitement for her idea show through, and started to detail her song choice for him, animatedly moving her hands as she talked. Finn liked this, when she was passionate about something. It was kind of hot, with her eyes sparkling and her words coming strong and with little room to breathe between sentences. The fact that it was for Glee Club just heightened the attractiveness of the whole thing for him.

Before she could finish, their food arrived, but once it was on the table Santana completely forgot she'd even been talking. She turned her attention to the plethora of goodies in front of her and began to eat voraciously.

"And I thought I was the one who was starving," Finn said with a laugh and then he took a huge bite of his burger. Between mouthfuls he tried to speak with Santana, but she would only make small noises or shrug in response, forcing him to give up for the time being and just focus on eating. Surprisingly she was done at the same time he was, and she groaned, a hand resting on her stomach.

"I might have overdone it," she said with a wince. "The baby doesn't like to be crowded." Finn decided it was safer not to comment and just laughed nervously. He paid the bill and after he helped Santana up and out of the booth, the two headed out of the restaurant. Once outside and walking down the side of the building towards the car, Santana gave another little groan.

"That's what happens when you try to clean out the diner's kitchen," Finn joked, playfully bumping against her shoulder. When she didn't yield, he stiffened, automatically knowing he'd gone too far and suddenly afraid.

"Are you calling me fat?" she asked him, stopped in her tracks, her jaw dropped. "Are you fucking calling me fat?"

"No! I'm... not... Wh-what? N-n-o! You're not fat... Well you've gotten kind of squishy..." Finn waffled, stammering for the right words that would make this go away. Apparently those weren't the right ones, as Santana's eyes widened and she took a step closer to him and smacked him on the chest with her open hand. "But it's not your fault!" he exclaimed, rubbing the spot where she'd hit him. She knew she hadn't really hurt him, as he was huge, but it felt good to strike him.

"Finn Hudson! I am carrying your baby! I am not fat! Giant fucking dick!" she yelled, smacking him again. Finn stepped backwards away from her, fearing for his life.

"I know! I'm sorry! Like I said you're not fat just squishy!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. The rage on her face was obvious as she began to shake slightly.

"I AM NOT FAT! I AM PREGNANT, YOU ASSHOLE!" She rose her hand to hit him again but Finn grabbed her wrist and spun her, pinning her against the brick wall of the diner, hand above her head. She looked at him confused, anger still boiling under the surface of her bewilderedness. She opened her mouth to yell at him again but he stopped her deftly with a kiss, hard and lingering.

He pressed himself against her more, and felt her melt against him, giving into the liplock with little resistance. He loosened his grip on her hand and let her go, and she brought both of her hands up to rest on the sides of his face, using the wall as leverage to push herself up on her tiptoes so she could deepen the kiss. He tangled one of his hands in her hair, the other quickly found it's way to the hem of her sweatshirt. Not caring that they were in public, she grabbed his hand and encouraged him to reach inside of her clothing. He snaked his hand up and over her stomach, and cupped her breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. She broke the kiss to moan as she turned her face to his ear.

"Car, car, take it to the car," she breathed into his ear, voice slightly husky. Finn didn't argue, and they continued kissing even as they made it the last few yards to the car and Finn fumbled with the door handle. Once the car door was open, Finn laid Santana down carefully in the backseat before crawling in after her and shutting the door with some hassle. When it was shut, he lowered himself over her and smiled down at her. Santana returned his gaze, more than willing to be in this position with him. She reached for his face and pulled him down, resuming their makeout session.

Again Finn's hands roamed underneath her shirt, but this time she stopped him before he got too far and had him sit up, giving her enough room to tug the offending article of clothing off over her head. With a grimace Santana realized the shirt was stuck, and she couldn't quite get it off the rest of the way.

Finn saw her struggles and braced himself over her with one hand on the car door, the other helping to distangle Santana from her sweatshirt prison. During all of this his hands had become sweaty, and at this most inopportune time his hand slipped down the door, tripping the door handle and setting the car door ajar, the pressure of him still trying to lean on the door sending it flying open, and caused Finn to land with his weight effectively on Santana's chest, knocking the wind out of her.

As she fought for breath, he could feel her punching him weakly, and before he knew it she kicked out with her legs, sending him ass over end out of the car. He landed with a thud and an oof, and he sat there on the parking lot's asphalt dazed while Santana struggled to regain the use of her lungs. Once she had, she said nothing, simply remaining lying down and breathing deeply. Finn recovered first, groaning as he heaved himself up off of the ground.

"You okay?" he asked, peering back inside of the car. Santana had an arm thrown over her eyes, and she shook her head.

"This is _so_ stupid."

"Well yeah..." Finn mused, shuffling nervously. "I don't think it's normal to make out and then almost kill each other." Finn waited for Santana to speak, but she didn't. He leaned over her, looking down at her. She felt his hand rest on the elbow of the arm she still had covering her face. "Are you sure you're okay? Should we go to a hospital or something?"

Santana sighed deeply, the burn in her chest remaining. She was sure she was fine physically, and she could feel the baby stirring. Finn hadn't ever landed on her belly at any time anyway, so she knew the baby was okay, too. Her head on the other hand, was a mess. She took in a ragged breath, deciding she just needed to get this over with.

"We can't keep doing this." The statement was made softly, but in a firm manner. She waited for his reply to come back, his confusion...

"What? As far as I'm aware this is the first time this has happened..." Finn started to say. Ah, there it was. She deftly cut him off before he could go further beyond what she was actually trying to say, realizing some time ago, that like Brittany, you just had to tell Finn straight up or he'd be lost.

"The kissing, Finn," she clarified, taking her arm away from her face and meeting his gaze, which was still focused intently on her face. "The random kissing and then going on and pretending it never happened. It just has to stop, okay? It's not good for... either one of us."

"What if it wasn't random kissing? What if we tried to make it work with us? Like a real boyfriend and girlfriend?" Finn asked, and Santana knew from the ease and speed in which the idea came that it wasn't a new one for him. She shook her head slowly.

"We can't."

"We're already having a baby together," Finn persisted, although he was gentle about it, watching Santana intensely for her reaction.

"That's exactly right, we're having a baby. We don't need any more pressures on us. We have a baby to think about." Santana sat up, and Finn reached in to help her, righting her. Finn simply nodded.

"That's fine. For now. But I just want you to know, up front, since we have to be honest... I'm not happy about it. But I'll wait until you're ready." He seemed so sure of himself that Santana almost believed him. She _wanted_ to believe him.

"And if I'm never ready?" Santana countered, an eyebrow raised at his audacity. Finn looked her over thoughtfully, a hand reaching to brush hair out of her face.

"Something tells me you will be."


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: This is what happens when you've lost all your mojo. Total filler, all of it. But it's cute and whatnot so that's okay right? Technically this could have been one short chapter and then a longer one, but I decided to just do them together. The next chapter is good I swear and you can have it by Friday. Bringin' back the drama! **

Brittany had come over un-Godly early on the morning of Santana's birthday and unceremoniously roused her from bed with a kiss attack on the sleeping girl's face. Santana swung an arm out half-heartedly in an attempt to swat at her friend, but since Brittany had a lot of practice at this, she ducked easily.

"Happy birthday, Santana!" Brittany squealed, jumping softly on the bed on her knees in an attempt to further awaken Santana. "Come on sleepyhead!" Santana groaned and sat up, knowing it was no use even attempting to remain sleeping.

"Thanks, Brittany," Santana deadpanned, stretching her arms out in an effort to warm life back into her body. The baby started kicking, bringing a smile to her face. She placed a hand on her belly and giggled. "Britt, feel." She reached for the other girl's hand and placed it where she knew the baby would strike next.

When a tiny foot collided against her hand, Brittany's entire face lit up. She promptly moved her hand and lifted up Santana's night shirt, laying her face on Santana's bare belly, her cheek pressed against the uncovered swell. Santana could feel the baby stirring, and knew Brittany could feel it too from the huge grin plastered on her face.

"You know what the baby said? She said "Happy Birthday, Mommy!"" Brittany informed her triumphantly. "What a nice baby!" Brittany placed a kiss on Santana's stomach and smiled up at her friend, eyes twinkling with anticipation. Santana couldn't help but giggle again. "When is she coming out?"

"Not for another two months, Britt." Brittany's face fell slightly but then picked up right away.

"That's okay. Come on Birthday Girl! Let's go downstairs. I have a surprise!" Santana obliged, tugging her shirt back down and gently rolling out of bed. By the time she padded down the stairs and made it into the kitchen Brittany was hanging streamers from every available surface.

"Britt. We don't do birthdays," Santana reminded her friend, speaking slowly and grabbing the roll of crepe paper from Brittany's hand. Brittany stole it back with a giggle and resumed her task, ignoring Santana's grabby nature.

"_You_ don't do birthdays," Brittany corrected, twisting the pink paper and looping it around the edge of the kitchen island. "I do birthdays. And I do them very well!" she chirped, crinkling her nose at Santana and smiling. Santana sat down on a stool at the island, resigned to let Brittany do what she wanted. It was like this every year, only this year, Santana had no extra strength to make Brittany stop with this birthday insanity. Her pregnancy was taking a toll on her, sucking her energy and made it too hard to properly argue with almost anyone anymore, let alone her best friend. It looked like this year Brittany would win, and there would be a party.

"All I ask is that there be no sleepover," Santana said with a sigh. She took up the roll of Scotch tape sitting on the counter and tore off a piece of tape and handed it to Brittany. Brittany used it to hold her crepe loops in place. She looked up at Santana and pouted, opening her mouth to speak. Santana rose a hand to stop her protests before they started. "Nuh uh! That's totally lame, okay? I'm turning seventeen, not seven. No sleepover!" Brittany just pouted harder, but relented. The smile returned to her face as she pulled a banner out of the bag of party supplies.

"I still get to throw a party!"

"Who all is coming to this party?" Santana asked, ripping more tape for Brittany to use for the banner. She watched as the blonde stretched upwards, hanging it in the archway between the kitchen and the living room.

"Well you know, the regular people."

"Glee people?" Santana questioned further, already knowing the answer was yes. She wasn't sure when the fact that her best friends really were Gleeks would sink in fully, and she still questioned it often.

"Since you quit Cheerios we don't really hang out with any of them, and well. Cheerios and Glee," Brittany explained easily, making sure Santana knew that this wasn't a big deal at all. She didn't mind it, and Santana shouldn't either. Santana nodded, accepting.

"When are people coming? I want to take a shower and -" She was cut off by the doorbell. After giving Brittany a questioning look, she got up and padded slowly to the front door and swung it open wide, revealing Finn.

Her face faltered for a few seconds but then picked back up. They hadn't talked for a few days, ever since the injuring-each-other-in-the-car fiasco. She could tell Finn felt awkward, but he was there at least.

"Hey."

"Hey... I know I'm early but I figured Brittany could use some help. Since, well, she's Brittany," Finn said jokingly. Santana rolled her eyes, thinking that Finn was only slightly more useful than Brittany, but she smiled anyway.

"She probably could." She was still blocking his way into the house, but didn't realize it until he cleared his throat.

"Going to get that baby out of the way so I can come in?" he asked with a laugh, and she laughed back, moving.

"Just get inside, loser," she teased. Finn came in, but turned around rather suddenly and exited the house again. Santana watched him go back to his car and open the door, an eyebrow raised as she watched him tug a giant box, wrapped in bright red wrapping paper and with a huge white bow, out of the back seat. He brought it back with him, grinning.

"It's for you," he told her, unable to hide his happiness. She decided he must have been pretty excited about whatever was in that box. He carried it inside and laid it carefully on the floor of the living room, Santana shutting the door and coming to stand by it. "You should open it!"

Santana thought this sounded like a great idea (it was her birthday, after all), and with Finn's help she sank to the floor beside it.

"Brittany will be mad I opened one early, but I won't say no to a fancy box..."

Santana tore the paper off, and again with Finn's help got the box open, revealing what looked like some sort of instrument case. Santana held off on her frown and opened the hard case, and indeed, it held an instrument: a black guitar with white detailing. Santana had to admit it was pretty, she might have even said beautiful if she'd been that into music. She looked at Finn questioningly.

"You... got me a guitar?" she said lightly, not wanting to seem ungrateful but not really understanding why she had a guitar on her living room floor.

"Well, yeah..." Finn said, frowning. "You don't like it?""

"It's not that!" Santana said quickly, almost waffling as she tried to come up with something nice to say. "I love it, it's very nice and all... But..." She faltered for a few moments, at a loss.

"Wait. Your name is Santana, and you don't play the guitar?" Finn asked, and after getting a look at Santana's face to confirm, started to laugh. "That just figures."

"My brothers don't play either," Santana added, her chuckling joining his booming guffaw.

"Hendrix and Sambora? Oh geez, the guitarist gods are weeping somewhere," Finn crowed as he burst into another round of laughter. Brittany, having heard them, came into the living room and held her hands on her hips, frowning at the sight before her.

"Santana! You opened a gift? No one else is even here yet!" She looked confused and then gestured towards what Santana had opened. "Why is there a guitar? You can't play the guitar."

"I'll learn," Santana offered, looking at Finn pointedly. He smiled, happy his gift wasn't totally useless after all. Santana realized it probably cost him a pretty penny, and knowing how hard he'd been working lately just made this more special. "It's pretty enough."

"Maybe Puck can teach you!" Brittany said enthusiastically, suddenly the idea of Santana playing the guitar not so far fetched and sounding better.

"Maybe," Santana said slowly, taking the guitar out of it's case and holding it in what was left of her lap. Brittany nodded her head at her great idea and smiled happily at her friends before flouncing back into the kitchen.

"Puck's not that good," Finn said suddenly, causing Santana to pause in her admiring her new guitar and look up at him.

As far as she knew Puck was a decent guitarist; at least from what she'd seen in Glee club and in the privacy of his room. But, she didn't say so, instead turning back to the guitar and plucking a few strings experimentally.

"Artie could help you learn how to play," Finn suggested, and Santana glanced at him just in time to see his shoulders shrug. His tone was light on the surface but she was acutely aware of the bite that lie just underneath of that.

"He could, yeah. Is there a reason you don't want Puck to teach me?" she asked curiously, strumming again absentmindedly. The guitar made a pretty sound, though she couldn't identify what notes, if any, she was playing. When he didn't answer her she coughed. "Honestly," she added, invoking their number one rule. For once it wasn't biting _her_ in the ass.

"I don't know, I just don't trust him to do something like that and not try to make moves on you," Finn finally replied after another long pause. She set the guitar down and sighed heavily.

"You're not wrong I guess, but I don't think he would," she said, although even as the words left her mouth she knew it was probably a lie. Puck was Puck, and hell, she was still Santana. And while guitar lessons didn't seem that intimate, she knew with their reps it could quickly be taken there.

Finn didn't respond, suddenly interested in a piece of lint on the carpet. She watched him toy with it for a few moments before sighing again.

"I'll ask Artie."

"That makes me feel better," Finn said, his own sigh more like a breath of relief. Santana was posed to ask another question, but quickly shut her mouth, picking up the guitar and putting it back in its case.

She already knew why it would make Finn feel better that Artie teach her how to play as opposed to Puck. Artie wasn't a threat to Finn on pretty any subject except intellectually, but she knew what Finn appreciated most was the fact that his moral integrity would keep him from ever trying to get with Santana. Not that Santana would ever go for a guy like Artie, and that probably made Finn feel more at ease too.  
Puck, on the other hand, was not only an ex, but a slightly more serious one, and one that could easily best Finn. Not wanting to risk bruising Finn's ego and a little more than willing to feed into his protectiveness of her, she understood.

Looking him over, she realized she understood this very well. Smiling, she extended her hand to him.

"Awesome. Now help me up and let's go make sure Brittany isn't trying to make a cake."

* * *

"I guess it's my turn to tell you not to be nervous?" Finn joked, giving Santana a grin. They were riding in Finn's car and on the way to his grandparent's house for dinner, just a week after Santana's birthday. She'd agreed because her due date was approaching and she'd still never met that side of the family, and Finn had done more than his fair share of family time with the Lopez's. It was only fair and in fact she suggested it herself, after a little push from Carole.

As far as Santana could tell, the Hudson home was out in the middle of God forsaken nowhere. They had already driven an hour away from Lima and they hadn't seen buildings of any kind for most of it, just countless fields of corn, soy beans, and cows. She gave him an unamused look and turned back to stare out the window at the passing scenery, despite it being just as boring.

"I'm not nervous," she informed him, still looking out over the fields. Finn's mother had liked her easily enough, and although she was a bit wary of meeting Finn's extended family, she doubted there was much to be nervous about. From what Carole said they were old fashioned but very nice, nothing she couldn't handle.

"Good, because this is their road right here." Finn turned onto a gravel road and they drove for another twenty minutes.

"Do they live on a farm or something?" Santana asked after getting tired of counting the cows all around.

"My grandpa has beef cattle, yeah," Finn answered. "And they have a couple horses and goats, but it's not a real farm, like Old McDonald or something."

"Mmm." Santana was not much for farms, having never set foot on one, and it just figured Finn would be from a family of farmers. Probably military farmers. With the image of cows throwing grenades to amuse her, the ride seemed to be more tolerable.

In fact it didn't last another five minutes. Finn pulled up a long driveway, a large white house looming at the end. Santana perked up, eyes scanning the yard. There was a barn set back a little ways from the house, another outbuilding, a round pen containing a giant black horse, and when she spotted chickens running loose her eyes widened.

"They can just roam like that, like cats?" she asked in disbelief. Finn parked under a giant oak tree and nodded.

"Yeah. They're chickens, not wild animals."

Santana was still shocked, and when Finn opened her door for her and helped her out, she kept a wary eye on the feathered creatures. They seemed to pick up on her discomfort and she could have sworn she saw a glimmer of evil in their eyes as a few came closer. Santana sucked in a breath quickly and stiffened at their approach. Finn noticed her reaction and laughed.

"They're not going to bother you. Come on, Maw Maw is expecting us and she hates it when you're late."

Santana mouthed "Maw Maw?" to herself but followed Finn closely, the chickens keeping their distance as they walked up onto the front porch.

Before Finn could reach for the door, though, it flew open, a big burly looking guy in overalls, a cap on his head, and sporting a giant grey beard joining them on the porch. Finn brightened while Santana's eyes went wide.

"Hey Grandpa," Finn greeted the bear of a man. The man clapped a hand on Finn's shoulder and studied him for a few seconds before breaking out into a grin of his own.

"Well if it ain't our quarterback," he said appreciatively, giving Finn a shake. "Almost forgot you were coming down." He turned his attention to Santana, his smile faltering for a split second as he tried to place her.

"Grandpa, this is Santana," Finn explained, and he stressed her name, giving it more importance. Recognition registered on the old man's face and he smiled at her, tipping his trucker hat in her direction.

"Nice to meet you, Santana. You're a pretty one, that's for sure. Good job there, Finny boy." Finn got another hearty smack on the shoulder and both men laughed, although Finn gave Santana an apologetic look as he did so. Santana smiled politely and ducked her head in response, a little out of her element. "Maw Maw's got dinner almost ready; you two better git on inside. I gotta fetch me somethin' from the shop," Grandpa Hudson said, passing by the pair with a little squeeze to both of their shoulders. Santana leaned close to Finn and bumped him with her elbow.

"What's he getting from the shop? The moonshine?"

Finn laughed and shook his head, opening the door and escorting Santana inside a large mudroom. A dog barked, and a woman shouted at it to be quiet, and then the mudroom door opened, revealing a pleasant looking lady in sweats and her silvering black hair tied up in a pony tail. She smiled happily and threw her arms around her grandson. A small black dog threw itself at his ankles, jumping up and down excitedely before coming over to Santana and sniffing her curiously.

"Finn! You're early!" the older woman exclaimed, backing out of their embrace and taking in Santana with a fell swoop of her gaze down the teenager's body. "And you must be Santana!" She chuckled to herself as she patted Santana's stomach, then gave them both a wink. "Or at least I sure hope so."

"Hi," Santana offered, holding out her hand. Maw Maw gave her extended hand an odd look and pushed it aside, instead enveloping Santana into her arms as best she could with Santana's belly in the way.

"Goodness we don't shake hands around here. You're carrying my great-grandbaby; you're practically family. And in this family, we hug." Santana nodded slightly, a little taken aback. Finn watched with amusement, unable to hide his grin.

"That's true."

"Well get in here, get in, we're about to sit down and eat," Maw Maw said, ushering them into a small dining room just off of the kitchen.

Within a few minutes Grandpa Hudson wandered back in, not bringing anything in with him, Santana noted, sharing a secretive smile with Finn, who just chuckled. He motioned as if he were drinking something, and Santana almost snorted.

"Glad to see you've got a sense of humor. Good thing, humor's important. All the Hudsons love a good laugh," Maw Maw informed them, interuppting their immaturity to bring in a pot of noodles. Santana and Finn shared a quick glance and Finn coughed, covering another outburst.

"Here, let me help you, Maw Maw," Finn offered, and his grandmother didn't turn him down. Once everything was on the table, Grandpa Hudson said a quick grace (the kind Santana prefered; she found a growing fondness for the elderly man sitting across from her), and they all fixed their plates.

"So Finn, how's school?" he asked around a mouthful of spaghetti.

"It's going well. I have all B's and A's, Glee Club is getting ready for Sectionals, and the football team isn't doing too bad," Finn answered, knowing that's what they wanted to hear.

"Santana, how about you? How're your grades?" Maw Maw asked, passing her a roll. Santana took it and set it down on her napkin.

"Thanks. My grades are actually all A's," she said, unable to hide the pride in her voice. She was never a straight A student, not ever, so she was actually kind of proud.

"Sure enough? Well that's just wonderful," Maw Maw replied, sharing in her proudness for a few seconds.

"Did you know Santana sings, too? And she was a cheerleader?" Finn asked, glancing at Santana sideways. Maw Maw seemed to find that particularly delightful.

"You don't say! I bet you have a beautiful voice; you have a naturally pleasing cadence from what I can tell. That's swell, really is. I always wanted to be a cheerleader when I was younger, couldn't afford it though," Maw Maw admitted, though her air was light and breezy and with no trace of bitterness at opportunites missed in her youth as she rambled on. "You going to go back to it once the baby is born?"

"I want to, but I'm not sure I'll have time," Santana said slowly, having not admitted that even to Brittany yet. "With work and school and the baby, I hope I have time."

"You can do whatever you set your mind to doing," Grandpa Hudson piped up momentarily before he fell into silence again, more interested in the food on his plate.

"It'll be hard but if you want you can do it," Maw Maw said assuringly. "You have someone to watch the baby once it's born?"

"Once _she's_ born, I think mom is going to watch her while we're at school. But Santana is taking a couple months off to be home with her before that," Finn explained, his eyes lighting up when he'd assigned the baby a gender.

"A baby girl, did I hear that right?" Maw Maw exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Oh it's been so long since I've held a baby girl." She looked at Santana and motioned to her husbabnd. "Grandpa and I had all boys, and all those boys had themselves only boys, too. I'm right excited to be buying something pink and frilly for once." Santana smiled at the other woman's enthusiasm despite her own distaste for things pink and frilly.

"You goin' to college still?" Grandpa Hudson asked of Finn, again breaking his silence. Finn nodded.

"I plan on it," he answered. "I'm not sure for what, maybe teaching. I'd like to coach football."

"And you, Santana? Are you going to college or are you going to stay at home with the baby and hold down the fort?" Maw Maw asked lightly. Santana caught herself before she frowned and Finn stepped in to reply before she could.

"Maw Maw, she's going to college, too. She wants to be a lawyer." Santana nodded in agreeance.

"My dad's a lawyer, and right now I'm doing some office work for his firm. It's not the same, but it's a step in the right direction."

Maw Maw and Grandpa Hudson shared a look before Maw Maw laughed.

"Well I'll be, Finn, she'll be the one takin' care of you! Maybe you'll be the one staying at home with your kids."

Now it was Finn and Santana's turn to look at one another. Wordlessly, they both agreed not to burst the Hudsons' idea of what the pair of them had going on. There was no real harm in them thinking they were dating, but Santana felt a little squeamish at the word "kids". As in more than one. Santana was pretty sure the baby she was having now was going to be her only, not just with Finn but in her lifetime. But there was no need to bring that up and deflate the happy mood in the room with that little factoid, so the two of them just laughed and nodded their heads, going with it.

"I wouldn't mind that," Finn said with another chuckle.

"All I know is it's good to hear you two still have goals," Grandpa Hudson spoke up again. "I see all this craziness, people acting like it's a crying shame to be having babies so young. And it isn't what we want for ya, Finny, don't get me wrong." He brandished his fork between the pair, locking his eyes with them each in turn. "But people think your lives are just plum ruined. I say that's bull. You got the brains, gumption, and some faith-" he ticked each item off on his fingers, "And you can do just about anything you want. Only thing that's holding people back is themselves, way I see it. So you two don't let this get in the way of what you need to be doin' to make a life for yourselves and that baby." He winked at Santana and resumed his eating, having probably said more than he planned on saying the entire day in less than ten seconds.

"You listen to your old grandpa now; he knows what he's talkin' about," Maw Maw agreed, nodding her head in reverence. She then hid a small grin as she ducked her head slightly. "At least this time anways."

The rest of the visit passed relatively uneventfully, Santana and Finn keeping up their charade of dating for the duration. Eventually Maw Maw got to talking about her own babies, regaling Santana with tales of colic, teething, and spit up as the teenagers sat in awe of her experience and knowledge, drinking in her every word. Santana got a special thrill out of hearing about Finn when he was a baby, apparently having been one with a penchant for the pacifier and getting into trouble wherever he could, while Finn just groaned and begged his grandmother to stop embarrassing him.

Grandpa Hudson disappeared into the shop while all this was going on and right as they were wrapping up their visit, he brought in a wooden rocking chair, hand crafted, and presented it to Santana with no fanfare whatsoever.

"I saw Finny brought his little matchbox he calls a car, so next time I'm over that way I'll bring it over for you. Figured you could use it; I know all our young ones and grandkids all loved to be rocked," he said offhandedly, though he was watching for her reaction discreetly.

Santana was again speechless due to the elderly man, but this time in a much more positive way. The chair was absolutely beautiful, and it must have taken hours to make... She wasn't even sure how someone went and did something like that.

"Try it out," Finn suggested, smiling widely. With his help, she sat down and gave it a few test rocks before breaking out into a huge grin aimed at Grandpa Hudson.

"This is totally awesome," Santana beamed, fascinated at how smooth the motion of the chair was. For a moment she imagined herself with a baby in her arms, rocking her daughter to sleep. She smiled even bigger. "Thank you so much."

"You bet." And with that Grandpa Hudson turned and trudged back outside to the shop, nothing else said about the masterpiece he'd created.

Finn suggested that they should probably start for home, since it was a school night after all, and Maw Maw begrudgingly let them get back on the road only after making the pair promise to visit and make sure she knew when that baby girl was on her way.

"So I adore your old people," Santana gushed unabashedly as soon as the tires on the Cavalier hit pavement again. Finn laughed, flashing his brights back on as a passing car made it out of their line of sight. She laughed too and settled a hand on his knee. "You know I was also thinking, after your grandpa's speech..." she trailed off momentarily, watching for deer. "You know when he said "the only thing that holds people back is themselves"?"

"I remember that, yeah," Finn agreed slowly, his eyes still on the road.

"I think he's right."

"Oh?"

Finn chanced a quick glance over at her before returning his gaze to the task at hand. He was waiting for her to say something more important, and she could tell, although she herself was only vaguely aware of what she was wanting to say. It was more of a feeling than anything, really... That she was being stupid for not at least trying to date Finn, or whatever it is he obviously wanted from her. That perhaps she was holding herself back by saying she was really just protecting herself, protecting both of them, from the struggles and the trials of not only raising a baby together, but by attempting to be a real couple. She tried to think, honestly, if she would date him had she not been pregnant. She wasn't sure, since the only reason she'd gotten to know him was because they were having a baby. So what did that mean, and how could she tell him all of that and explain it in just the right way he wouldn't think she was crazy?

Suddenly she felt butterflies in her stomach. Maybe this was stupid. Maybe she was just running off some of the positive energy and rush of good feelings from the Hudson household. She changed her mind quickly, removing her hand from Finn's knee.

"Work and school and all that. We can really do it, you know. If we want to."

"Oh. Yeah... He was right about that," Finn conceded, and Santana could tell he wasn't expecting to hear that. They fell into a silence that lasted the rest of the way home.

It wasn't what she had wanted to say at all, but she reigned herself in just before the words gushed out and she couldn't take them back. She knew the potential damage she could do to their existing relationship if she said the words and then had to take them back. She wasn't ready yet.

**A/N 2: I cringed re-reading this. I apologize.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho. ;) **

Santana and Brittany settled in for a night of cheesey chick flicks and stuffing themselves full of brownies and ice cream. Santana's parents were out for the weekend at a thing (Santana didn't really know or care exactly what it would be defined as) for one of her father's clients and Hendrix was staying the night at his girlfriend's house across town. So it was just her and Brittany and like three Katherine Heigl movies for the evening, which suited Santana just fine. They were snuggling on the couch and halfway through the first movie when it began to lightening outside, the flashes coming fast and quick, illuminating the sky in lit veins of electricity. At the first loud crack of thunder, Brittany had screamed and sat up like a bolt, tearing herself from Santana's loose embrace.

"Britt! What the hell?" Santana snapped, her ears ringing slightly from the piercingness that was Brittany. She then remembered that Brittany was afraid of storms, and wiped the mean-mugging look off of her face. Brittany's eyes were fixed on the big picture window, wide and slightly horrified. She pointed to the dark and ominous clouds that were steadily rolling in.

"Santana, it's going to rain!" she said fearfully. If she wasn't so cute Santana would have told her she was being ridiculous. A little rain never hurt anyone, and they'd be there curled up safely on the couch throughout the duration anyway.

"It'll be okay," Santana told her simply, pulling her back down into her arms in an attempt to get Brittany's mind off the impending storm. "Let's just watch the movie. It's almost your favorite part!" Brittany looked lingeringly at the window and begrudgingly did as Santana suggested. Santana was happy with her accomplishment, and settled back down to watch the rest of the movie. A pain in her lower abdomen bothered her slightly, but she ignored it as skillfully as she'd ignored that sprained ankle she got once in Cheerio practice, never letting it affect her routine. This pregnancy had made her body ache in ways she didn't know she could, so she thought nothing of it.

The rain started to fall, and not in the cute pitter patter way that most people could enjoy, but an absolute downpour. The lightening was still constant, with little to no pause between flashes. Thunder boomed closer now, and Brittany was beside herself.

"Santana!" Brittany whined, burrying her face in her friend's chest. Santana sighed to herself and patted Brittany's back gently.

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," she crooned. She planted a kiss on Brittany's forehead and got up from the couch. "Wait right here." She went into the kitchen and got a bottle of Smirnoff for Brittany and a bottle of water for herself, along with another couple of brownies still left in the pan. Booze would help simmer Brittany's nerves, even if only slightly. Hey, any little bit helped.

She gingerly half fell, half plopped back down on the couch next to Brittany and handed her the cheerleader beer with a smile, and she shoved a brownie into her own mouth. With a frown she felt another pang in her belly, and this time it couldn't be ignored. Brittany didn't seem to notice anything was wrong, instead chugging her drink with the skill of a frat brother in an effort to quell her fear of the storm raging outside. Santana excused herself again, and instead of heading for the kitchen she made a beeline for the bathroom.

She dropped her pants and sat on the stool, hunching over due to the pain in her stomach. With dismay she noticed the vibrant red blood in her panties... Cleaning herself up and tossing her shorts and underwear into the clothes hamper, she grimaced. This was not good. The doctors had told her some dark spotting was normal, but if she bled bright red, that meant something was wrong. She was supposed to go directly to the hospital. She allowed herself to panic for a few moments while wrapping her lower half in a towel. She could feel a slow trickle of blood seep down her leg, only heightening her borderline hysteria.

"Fuck!" She wanted to cry, but didn't let herself. She fished her cell phone out of the pocket of the shorts she'd just discarded, and called her mom. No answer. Same when she tried her dad's phone, and then Hendrix and Quinn's. "Fuck you guys! Why aren't you answering your phones?" she exclaimed with a little anguished cry. She placed a hand over her face and breathed deeply, attempting to calm herself. This wouldn't do, she couldn't freak out right now. She needed to be calm, and she needed to think clearly.

"Santana! Santana! The weather radio is going off! Santana, what do we do!" Brittany screamed through the bathroom door as she attempted to open it, although Santana had locked it behind her. Why the hell was this happening to her? She was sure she was a horrible person but why was God deciding to punish her this way? Now? "Santana!" Brittany called again, obviously terrified. Santana exhaled again and made her way to the door, opening it for Brittany, who came crashing in, looking like a deer in the headlights at Santana's towel clad waist. "What's going on?"

"Brittany, just calm down. I'm going to take care of everything." She had absolutely no idea how she was going to take care of _anything_. She couldn't drive, Brittany had just downed alchohol like it was water, and no one was answering their God damn cell phones! What was the point of having a cell phone if you don't answer it?

The weather radio could be heard cackling in the kitchen, although Santana couldn't make out the words. She prayed that it was just issuing severe thunderstorm warning (duh!) and not detailing any sort of tornadic activity. That would just be perfect, she thought to herself. She whipped her phone out again and called Finn. Thankfully he picked up after only two rings.

"_Santana_?" came his voice, slow and gravelly as if he'd been awoken from sleep. She had never been happier to hear that stupid boy's voice.

"Finn, I need you to take me to the hospital, something is wrong. Brittany is here with me and she's afraid of storms and I don't know what is going on!" The pain in her stomach continued, and she felt an ebb in the dribbling of blood between her legs. "Come now, please, please come right now! I'm..." The word "scared" did not leave her lips, she wouldn't let it, not with Brittany standing right there. "Just please, hurry!" She knew she probably wasn't making any sense but she hoped he understood the urgency of the situation.

"_I'm coming, you're at your house right_?" His voice was muffled, and she realized it was probably because he was pulling a shirt over his head or something like that. Good, he was on his way, he was coming, she wouldn't be stuck dealing with this practically alone for too much longer.

"Yes," she replied, voice wavering.

"_I'm on my way, sit tight and try to stay calm until I get there, okay?_" The line went dead and she tossed her phone onto the counter, feeling somewhat better. Finn wasn't totally useless. Brittany stared at Santana tearfully, her eyes on the splatterings of blood on the floor and on Santana's feet.

"San, what's happening? I'm frightened! It's storming and you're bleeding," she wailed, unable to catch her breath. Santana was starting to feel a little light headed.

"Brittany please, you can't do this right now. Do me a favor, okay?" Santana said in a voice much smaller than her normal one. Brittany nodded tearfully. "Go up to my room, and grab me some shorts, okay? There should be black ones on my bed. Bring them to me." Brittany turned tail and Santana could hear her clattering up the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her. She decided to sit down and wait there on the bathroom floor, a feeling of dizziness taking her over. She hurt, and it didn't feel like it would let up any time soon.

It took Brittany longer than it should have to find the shorts Santana had sent her for, and by the time she came back down the stairs Finn had arrived. He let himself into the house and shouted for Santana, who feebly yelled back that she was in the bathroom. Brittany ran into him on her way there and he followed her to where Santana sat, propped against the toilet. Blood was slowly soaking through the thin towel, and Finn gasped at the sight.

"Jesus..." he muttered, unable to absorb what the scene meant. Santana reached for him, and he automatically stooped to her level and scooped her up effortlessly into his arms. "We're going now," he said decisively, and Santana slumped against him, relieved he was finally there and unable to pretend that she didn't hurt any longer. He looked over at Brittany, who was crying openly. "Brittany, go ahead of me and open my passenger's side door." Brittany did as she was bid, still clutching the shorts Santana had sent her to get. Finn noticed Santana's phone on the counter and grabbed it, careful not to jostle Santana too much. Swiftly he moved through the house and found Brittany standing at the front door, staring at the heavy downpour, rooted in fear. "Brittany, what are you doing?"

"She's afraid of storms," Santana explained. She reached a hand for Brittany's shoulder and squeezed it. "You can do this, Brittany. For me?" Brittany gulped but looked resolutely out at the rain and lightening. With a little yell she ran to Finn's already running car and threw open the passenger's side door and the backdoor on the same side, hurtling in, and gave another shriek.

Finn quickly carried Santana out and placed her in the seat, shutting the door carefully behind him before jogging around to the other side of the car. Without any further ado Finn took off, although visibility was basically nothing. The rain was too heavy and even on their fastest setting, his windshield wipers couldn't keep his view clear for more than a split second at a time. He'd never had to drive in frickin' torrential downpour before. The going was slow, and Finn cursed under his breath in an effort to keep himself calm.

"Santana, just hang on, okay?" he said as they turned a corner, and he hoped this was the right street. Santana merely nodded, her head heavy. They couldn't be too far from the hospital, right? She tried to ascertain where they were from the buildings around them, but none of them were distinguishable from large blobs of dark. Watching the rain streak down the windows only made her feel sick with worry, so she closed her eyes.

"SANTANA!" Brittany yelled, and she can feel a hand on her shoulder shaking her.

"Britt, I'm okay... I just can't look at the rain any longer," Santana explained, only opening her eyes to look into Brittany's. Brittany calmed and sat back in her seat, but her hand remained on Santana's shoulder.

"Can we get there faster?" Brittany asked, her voice slightly whiny.

"I'm going as fast as I can," Finn said tersely. His eyes were glued to the road, both hands gripping the wheel until his knuckles turned white. He realized that they'd passed the entrance for the ER, and he carefully pulled over and turned around. They hit a curb turning into the parking lot, but no one says anything; the girls just gasped at the jarring that occured. Finn didn't bother to park, pulling right up to the ER doors.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N I know that last chapter was mean. But I think you might forgive me. ;) **

Without saying anything to anyone, Brittany jumped out and ran into the hospital, and they could hear her shrieking as a crack of thunder sounded. Finn got out of the car and lifted Santana out of her seat, carrying her to the doors as quickly as he dared. They were met with a wheelchair, two paramedics, and a nurse, who Brittany had alerted despite her hysteria.

Santana was swept off, and Finn and Brittany were urged to wait in the waiting room. Neither liked this of course, and frankly Santana didn't either, but she reassured them that she would be okay even if she wasn't so sure. The nurse whisked her away into the back, and she was taken to a doctor right then. She was vaguely aware that she was indeed still wearing a towel, for some reason that didn't seem to matter. She answered all of the questions she was asked, but had no chance to ask any of the questions swirling around her head, her first and foremost "_Will the baby be okay_?" She was poked and prodded, shoved into a hospital gown, hooked up to an IV, a few other machines she didn't know what were doing, and given an ultrasound. She'd been waiting alone in a room for ten minutes when Finn burst in, a relieved look on his face.

"Santana!" he came and sat on the edge of her bed, carefully as he could.

Grateful that he'd come, Santana threw herself at him, hugging him tightly and starting to sob. She was scared out of her mind and no one was telling her what was going on. Didn't they know how scary this was?

"Shh shh, it's okay," he whispered softly, stroking her hair and laying her back on the bed. He lie beside her and wrapped her up in his arms again, kissing her temple. "It's okay. Everything is going to be fine, okay?"

"I wish they'd come and tell me something, anything," Santana said raggedly. She wiped her face but remained clinging to Finn, contact which he didn't try to break. "I was bleeding, there's _something _wrong... What if the baby..."

"Don't," Finn said sharply, his embrace tightening around her. "Don't say anything else. Let's just wait and see what the doctors find out." Santana nodded slowly but burst into tears, and Finn consoled her the best he knew how, never letting her see his own fear and anguish as he held onto her and tried to brush away her tears as they fell rapidly.

She had calmed slightly when a doctor other than their obstetrician came in, clipboard in hand and a couple of nurses flanking him. The nurses went to work, one checking Santana's vitals and the read outs on the monitor they had placed around Santana's belly, and the other being slightly invasive and changing out the gauze pad she'd been sitting on, weighing it to see how much blood Santana had lost. The medical team consulted each other in quiet voices for a few moments, speaking in terms neither teen understood.

"Okay, Ms. Lopez, you've had a placental abruption, which is where the placenta detaches from the wall of the uterus," the doctor explained after what felt like an eternity. Santana had no idea but that sounded like it was really bad. She tried to sit up a bit more but the doctor shook his head.

"No no, lay back down. Now in your case, it's a very small detachment... Your baby's heart rate is very strong, and she's not showing any signs of distress."

"That's good then, the baby will be fine?" she asked, doing what the doctor said and laying back against the pillows on the hospital bed. Finn grabbed her hand and squeezed it, and they shared a hopeful look before returning their attention back to the doctor.

"Everything is going to be fine, but we're going to keep you here on bedrest for a few days. Even as you've been here, the bleeding has slowed... That's a great sign. As long as it doesn't get worse, you'll be able to go home."

"If it does get worse?" Finn asked, again squeezing Santana's hand.

"If the bleeding progresses then we'll have to deliver the baby," the doctor answered, flipping through Santana's charts hurriedly and scanning them.

Santana's heart jumped into her throat. She wasn't due for another two months, she couldn't deliver now. Instinctually she placed a hand on her belly, as if attempting to protect her unborn child, to somehow convince it that she needed to stay where she was as long as possible. The doctor looked up from her charts and fixed his gaze back on the couple.

"You're about thirty two weeks into your gestation; if it comes down to it and we _have_ to deliver, your baby has a high chance of being born healthy. If the bleeding doesn't slow further in a couple of hours we'll start giving you steroids to help the baby's lungs develop a bit faster, and we'll stave off delivery for as long as possible. We're going to have to wait and see, but from what we know now, it looks like we can avoid going down that road. Let's stay positive, and take it easy." The doctor seemed pretty sure of himself, and the nurses looked calm and the one gave Santana a reassuring smile.

"Thank you, doctor," Finn said, sounding more relieved than Santana felt. "We were pretty worried there."

"This kind of thing happens more often than one might think," the doctor explained nonplussed, nodding his head to agree with himself.

"Did... Did I do something to make this happen?" Santana asked quietly. Her mind raced to all the things she'd done in the past week, unable to pinpoint anything so bad as to warrant this sort of thing.

"No, Ms. Lopez, you didn't cause this in any way, shape, or form," the doctor assured. "But you did the right thing coming in when you did. We'll get this taken care of; don't you worry. For now why don't you get some rest?"

"I think that sounds like a good idea," Finn agreed, one hand absentmindedly rubbing Santana's stomach.

Santana nodded her head, but once the doctor and nurses had left she tried to sit up, only to elicit an admonishing look from Finn and a gentle press back down onto the bed.

"I don't think so, miss," Finn told her firmly. She cocked an eyebrow at him but remained down, and didn't mind when Finn lay down beside her, pulling her into his arms and resting her head on his chest. "You heard the doctor. You need to take it easy."

As if on cue a nurse rapped on the door, and without waiting for an answer opened it, leading Brittany behind her. It was obvious she'd been crying, and when the blonde saw Santana she went wide eyed, her mouth pulled down at the corners in a scared frown.

"Brittany, Britt, it's okay," Santana crooned softly, turning from Finn so that they were spooning, and reached a hand for her friend. "Britt, everything is okay. The doctor said I'd be fine and the baby is okay, too. Come here."

Brittany did as she was bade, slowly walking towards Santana's bedside, her eyes on the floor the entire time.

"I found her in the lobby trying to hide under one of the couches," the nurse said, staring at Brittany like one might stare at a circus freak. "How she got under there I have no idea, but I fished her out and brought her to you."

"She's afraid of storms," Santana explained, for the second time that evening. Brittany nodded her head sadly, and Santana motioned for her to sit on the bed too. Finn scooted back a little bit so that Santana could as well and Brittany had room to sit on the very edge of the bed. Santana placed a hand on the small of Brittany's back and began to rub circles in attempt to sooth her.

"Well you picked one heck of a night for an ER visit," the nurse went on, ignoring the tense faces around her. "It's storming like crazy out there. Lucky you guys made it here." When she figured out that the three teenagers were in no mood for small talk she left, and Finn thanked her for bringing Brittany on her way out the door.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Brittany suddenly lowered her upper body, hugging Santana to her.

"I'm glad you're okay. I was scared you were going to die..."

"I'm fine, Brittany. And the baby is okay, too," Santana said quickly. She felt a stirring within herself and placed Brittany's hand on her stomach. "See? Feel. She's moving a lot. She's dancing for you." Brittany's frown disappeared and she gave a little giggle.

"She really is!"

Santana reached for Finn's hand and placed it on the other side of her belly, and she knew they could both feel what she could: the little life inside of her practically doing somersaults, letting them all know she was still hanging in there and that, in fact, everything was just fine.

A flood of relief came over Santana suddenly, and she began to cry. These tears were different from the many that were spilled earlier in that they were tears of joy and not fear or worry. Everything was okay. She was fine, the baby was fine. She had the two most important people in her life with her, supporting her and sharing in this ordeal. She couldn't have dealt with this alone, not without Brittany working through her fright to help, not without Finn and his obvious devotion. She cried harder when she realized how much he really took care of her... And how grateful she was for him. When no one else was there, he was, no questions asked. He showed up and took charge, and with Brittany's aid, got them here. Who knows what would have happened had he not answered his phone, if he'd not gone out of his way that night.

"I love you," Santana said through her tears, leaning towards Brittany and pressing a kiss into the side of her face. "Thank you for doing what you did earlier. You're the best friend anyone could ask for."

"I love you, too, San," Brittany answered, a little bewildered at Santana's tears but accepting, her words canceling out her actions.

Santana turned to Finn now, her crying stopped but eyes still glistening. She looked at him watching her expectantly, waiting with a small smile on his face. He knew she wasn't sad; he knew why she was crying. He understood probably better than anyone else what she was feeling in that moment.

"And Finn..." she couldn't take it any more and reached for his face, drawing his mouth to hers and kissing him softly. She pulled away and burried her face in his chest once again, sighing heavily. She'd wanted to do that for so long, and be able to back it up with what he needed to hear and what she needed to say. Finally she was ready. "I love you. I do. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to admit it, because I've known for awhile. I love you. I love you."

"I... I love you..." Finn replied, slightly taken aback by the over display of emotion and feelings that were still so uncharacteristic for Santana, but like Brittany, accepted it easily. Not wanting to ruin the moment with any more talking, Finn gently kissed the top of her head, an odd tightness in his chest.

The other two fell silent as well, Brittany wrapping her arms around Santana's middle as well as she could and nestling into her back, and Santana snuggling in closer to Finn. Finn reached over Santana and held onto both girls, watching them as their eyes slowly started closing. Brittany drifted off first, and Santana's eyes were fluttering slowly when he heard her say the words again, a quiet whisper, but one that echoed in Finn's mind louder than a scream.

"I love you."


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N Sorry for that little gap in updating! I've been trying to do it more regularly and this is definitely better than I used to, right? :P This is sort of a few mini-chapters shoved into one. Back into intensity over the next couple chapters, so enjoy the filler/fluffy-ness. :) **

Santana was released two days later, when the bleeding had stopped completely and the doctors were positive that it was safe for her to return home. They'd concluded that strict bed rest was unnecessary but warned Santana not to overdo it, and to be mindful of how much she exerted herself. Finn took it upon himself to make sure she was careful, watching her every move and snapping to attention at any little moan or groan she made, and giving her looks when he felt like she was walking around too much. It was nice, and Santana supposed it was only natural for him to be extra wary and observant.

Despite how many times the doctors told her everything was fine, she still breathed easier when she could feel the baby moving, and she made sure Finn was aware it was happening too, often reaching for his hand and placing it on her belly. His relief was just as obvious as her own during these moments, and she found herself growing more and more grateful and thankful for him.

He stayed with her the entire time she was there, having his mother bring by clothes when the weather cleared, showering, sleeping, and eating there in the hospital, only leaving her side to use the restroom and even then most times he talked to her while he was in there, shouting through the closed door. He wanted almost constant contact, and while sometimes (okay, most times) that was pretty irritating, she also thought it was kind of sweet and tolerated it well, knowing he had been just as scared as she had been and was still a bit nervous about the episode.

Santana was pretty sure that this sudden clinginess also had a lot to do with what she'd finally said to him... There was no official exchange of words, nor had they even asked each other if they were dating. It just was what it was. But she'd heard him call her his girlfriend at least twenty times to various people, the doctor, random nurses, their family, friends, with the same proud tone each time.

Surprisingly, she didn't mind. Girlfriend. It felt like ages since she'd been one of those... Not a fuck buddy, not a good ride, not a hook-up at a party, but an honest to goodness _girlfriend_. She wondered vaguely if she even remembered _how _to be a girlfriend, but figured Finn would definitely guide her along the way as he had been so far. That was why this felt so effortless; Finn was practically the girl as far as emotions went, and he took her least favorite part of relationships onto himself naturally.

When she was finally released and back home, her parents treated her as if she was made of spun sugar. She knew part of that was guilt (Burt was the first person the hospital was able to contact, with Santana's parents still out of town and inexplicably unreachable until an entire day later) but she also knew they were genuinely worried. Despite her protests, her father carried her upstairs to her bedroom upon her arrival, and her mother hovered over her for almost an hour before Santana convinced her that she would indeed be okay if left alone. Finn had wanted to stay as well, but with urging from both Santana and Carole, he eventually went to his own home, leaving Santana alone for the first time in days.

They weren't parted for long though. Santana was settling in to sleep, finally finding a position that was mostly comfortable and she'd just started to feel herself slipping off when there was a loud ping on her window. After a bit of a struggle she sat up, and she lumbered off to the window and peered out cautiously. Down on the lawn below was Finn, and she quickly opened the window to call out to him.

"_What_ are you _doing_? This isn't the eighties, you can't just throw shit at people's windows."

He shrugged his shoulders, craning his neck to look up at her. He had a bag of fast food in one hand and a few tator tots in the other. He dropped the tots to the ground out of embarrassment.

"I know but I couldn't sleep... All this baby stuff..." he explained, talking a little bit louder than he had to to be heard.

"Well, as the person who is growing this baby, I need to sleep," Santana retorted a little snarkily, but she had to admit she was happy to see him. "Come inside, come to bed with me."

Finn rose his eyebrows at her and looked off to the side of the lawn, unsure of how to take this invitation.

"Uh..."

"Not like that," Santana said quickly, shaking her head. "I don't know, just get in here so I can go back to sleep, please."

Finn did just that, entering the Lopez household through the unlocked back door and quietly creeping upstairs and into Santana's bedroom. By the time he did, she was back in bed underneath her quilt, curled up on her side and facing the door. When he came in she smiled at him and patted the empty space of mattress beside her. Finn shucked his jacket and shoes off and crawled into bed gingerly beside her, taking her in his arms. Santana snuggled close, happily sighing as she closed her eyes.

"I'm glad you're here. I think I got used to you being around while I slept," she whispered, chuckling a little.

"Yeah, I spoil you," Finn replied, his own eyes fluttering closed. They were silent for awhile, each just listening to each other breathe. Eventually Finn broke the quiet. "Are you ready to go back to school tomorrow? You sure you don't need another day?"

"No, I'm ready. The doctor said it was fine." Santana didn't even open her eyes, having no reason. She had missed two days already and while bumming it in bed wasn't a horrible way to spend her time, she knew she would have plenty of time off once the baby came and she didn't want to fall behind on her classes.

"But if you get tired or anything, or you want something, whatever it is, just text me okay? I'll drop whatever I'm doing," Finn responded hurriedly, giving her a little squeeze as he spoke. Santana knew he was still worried but she also knew that she was fine and there was nothing to worry about. That, and she was really tired.

"Finn. Go to sleep."

* * *

The fact that they were dating went over well at school. The two didn't bother hiding it, but it was definitely Finn doing a lot of the talking and telling, which was fine with Santana. Kurt had gotten the news spread pretty well before they'd even stepped back into McKinley High, and it seemed as if people were expecting it to happen anyway. Even Rachel was civil about it, though Santana wasn't expecting her not to be.

When they walked into Glee Club that afternoon holding hands, the brunette songstress beamed at them happily.

"I'm sure I speak for us all when I say that I'm glad everything is okay, Santana. We were all very worried! And I hear you two are now an item," Rachel didn't wait for either of them to confirm, already knowing it to be true. "That's just great news all around. I'm very excited for you two!"

Finn and Santana shared a confused look, and Mercedes piped up, looking rather bored.

"She's been like this all day. We just found out our competition for sectionals."

"Needless to say she's rather confident we're going to win," Kurt added, smoothing a flyaway down.

"Old people and an all boys' school; of course we're going to win!" Rachel practically shrieked, not believing any one could doubt her judgement. Everyone around her rolled their eyes. Santana was happy to see not much had changed in her absence, and sat down next to Brittany, who had squealed when they had walked in.

"I missed you!" Brittany said, hugging Santana. "My mom said I needed to let you rest, and that's why I couldn't visit. But you're rested now, right?" The blonde looked at her friend with her eyebrows knit in concern.

"I'm very rested, Britt," Santana assured her, patting her on the shoulder. Brittany seemed very relieved to hear this, and spent the rest of Glee Club with her pinky linked with Santana's.

* * *

The weeks dragged on, and Santana just got bigger and bigger. Standing in front of her bedroom mirror, Santana frowned at her appearance as she looked at herself in her bra and boy shorts.

Not all that long ago she'd been thin, so thin in fact most everyone assumed she had an eating disorder. And now look, she was gargantuan. She bit her lip as she turned to the side, her large baby belly protruding so far out she couldn't even wrap her arms around herself any more. Her face was a bit pudgier, her ass had indeed grown to what felt like mammoth proportions.

What the hell kind of sick joke was this? She remembered how Quinn had looked at Regionals... She'd been such a cute, tiny pregnant girl. And _she'd_ ballooned into a friggin' whale. She allowed herself to sulk a little until her eyes swept up her body again.

One positive though, her boobs were awesome, she noted with a smile. They'd been fine before, but now they were just... BAM. Definitely eye catchers. She grabbed the shirt she'd had laid out on the bed and pulled it on, grimacing at how tight it looked. Still, everything was covered. She tugged on sweatpants and headed downstairs. Everyone would just have to live with her looking a little... less... today.

By the time Glee Club rolled around, Santana was spent. Walking around school while lugging this baby around was hard work, and while everyone else got to practice their pieces for sectionals in the auditorium, Santana sat at the piano, plunking on keys randomly. She was bored, her back ached, and she felt pretty useless just sitting around. Brittany eventually ambled in, sweaty from dance rehearsals and a little winded.

"Hey San," Brittany called, standing by her friend and looking her up and down. "How're you doing in here?"

"I'm just miserable," Santana lamented, laying her head down on the piano. Brittany joined her, sitting atop the instrument with her legs dangling over the edge. After a few moments of silence, Brittany spoke up.

"Do you want to play the Breath Game like we used to?" she suggested, swinging her feet slightly. Santana angled her head so she could see what Brittany was doing and nodded. They used to play this while waiting for Glee Club to start, but she couldn't remember the last time they'd taken part in the silly past time.

Brittany leaned her face down towards the top of the piano and breathed on the glossy black surface, creating fog, and promptly drew a shape with a fingertip. Santana smiled having automatically recognized it.

"It's a heart."

"Right! Good job," Brittany cheered, clapping her hands for her friend. Santana chuckled at her friend and then quickly stopped, suddenly feeling a seeping between her legs. She groaned at the wet sensation as Brittany stared on in horror at the growing dark spot on her pants.

Santana was hoping she'd be able to avoid peeing herself, her mom and Quinn teasing her that she'd do it at least once. But this seemed like an unusual amount of liquid, and Brittany jumped atop the piano.

"Santana, you couldn't make it to the potty?" Brittany groaned, wrinkling her nose in disgust. When the leaking continued, Santana's eyes widened.

"Britt, I don't think that's pee..."

"Well what else have you been keeping up there?" Brittany questioned, looking at Santana from the sides of her eyes.

"I think my water broke!"


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: And here we go. :) **

It would have been utter chaos if the Glee Club hadn't been through this mess before, literally. Dodging the puddle of fluid on the floor, Mr. Schue was the first person to reach Santana after Brittany had started screaming "Help! Santana pee'd baby juice!" at the top of her lungs, her cries reaching the auditorium easily.

"Santana, we've already called your parents, and they're going to meet us at the hospital," he said quickly, helping her up off of the piano bench and steering her away from the mess and holding her firmly so she wouldn't slip.

"My doctor said not to come until the contractions were happening," Santana countered as she shook her head, although she allowed herself to be lead to a chair, still leaking slightly.

"I'd rather be safe than sorry," Finn called, having entered the room finally. He went to her side and took her hand in his, looking at her with a mixture of concern and excitement. "This is it!"

"It's not it," Santana said, another shake of her head. "I don't feel anything. I think we should wait."

Tina had followed Finn into the choir room, holding a pair of sweatpants and undies in her hands. Santana stared at the clothes for a few seconds, recognizing them from her wardrobe but having no idea how Tina had gotten ahold of them. Tina noticed her gaze and shrugged.

"Quinn said it was a good idea to keep extra clothes here, in case something happened. She said you wouldn't think of it," she explained, and Santana nodded appreciatively. With a little help from Tina and Finn, with Mr. Schue looking the other way, she started to get changed into the new clothes. When her old pants were around her ankles, Puck and Mercedes busted in, both out of breath. At the sight of Santana undressed, Puck threw his hands into the air and Mercedes turned quickly around.

"Do you people mind?" Santana snarked, mildly embarrassed but mostly for Mercedes, knowing Puck had seen it all before anyway.

"Sorry we weren't expecting you to be naked in the choir room," Puck shot back, looking away politely. "So is this happening now?" he called over his shoulder.

"It's happening!" Finn replied, supporting Santana's back as she lifted one leg to shove into the new sweatpants.

"It's not!" she insisted, getting frustrated. She would know if it were happening, and if she'd been at home she'd still be sitting around and waiting to go to the hospital. Tina gave a little chuckle at her outburst.

"Sure looks like it is from where we're standing."

Quinn came in with Artie in her wake, a take charge attitude about the blonde. Santana, still not fully dressed, sighed heavily at the intrusion.

"What is with you people... Can I finish this, please?" she asked, Tina sliding her pants up her legs as she spoke.

"Rachel and Kurt are calling parents and letting them know what is going on. We're coming, too," Quinn said, ignoring what Santana had just said. She looked Santana up and down as she stood, and gave her a small smile. "Are you doing okay?"

"Are you ready to go?" Mercedes asked, eyeing Santana nervously.

"Yeah I don't want to be here when that kid pops out," Tina added, though she said it playfully.

"I'm fine now," Santana said, gesturing towards her newly dressed bottom half. "And I think we still have awhile before you guys start freaking out."

Brittany was playing with her hands off in a corner, relieved of her duties now that people who knew what they were doing had arrived. Santana snorted and pointed to her friend. "See, she's got the right idea. Why don't we all just chill out a little bit?"

As she said the words, she felt a sharp tightening in her middle, and her eyes flew open wide from the suddeness of the attack on her abdomen. Finn squeezed her hand and Quinn was at her side in an instant, recognizing that face all too well.

"Screw that, we're out of here," Puck said, and as soon as the words left his mouth there was a whirlwind of activity. Santana was lifted into Artie's lap, and with Finn pushing the two of them in Artie's wheelchair they hurtled out of the choir room door that Mr. Schue was holding open. Mercedes and Tina ran ahead, clearing the way ahead for speedy passage, though class was in session at the moment and there were no students roaming the halls. Rachel and Kurt joined the procession shortly, saying that everyone's parents were informed of what was happening and where they were going. Finn's car was waiting for them at the front entrance, and Mike hopped out of the driver's seat and helped Finn and Puck get Santana into the back seat, piling in Quinn beside her and Tina in the front seat.

"What about Brittany?" Santana asked as they shut the doors, her best friend nowhere to be seen. Puck looked around quickly for the blonde and when he didn't find her, fixed Santana with a determined face.

"I'll go back and get her. You guys go and the rest of us will meet you there." He leaned in and gave Santana a kiss on the forehead. "You've got this, Lopez. If Quinn can do it, so can you."

"Thanks, Puck," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. "Just get Brittany."

* * *

The ride to the hospital was speedy but careful, Finn unable to keep from muttering the entire time. Tina and Quinn shot each other looks occassionally, Quinn peering over the back of her seat at Santana, watching her closely. Santana drummed her fingers on her belly absentmindedly.

If this was labor, it wasn't so bad. She had a dull ache in her lower back but she wasn't having any more contractions that she could tell. She ignored Quinn and Tina's lingering gazes and mentally checked off the series of events that were supposed to follow: labor, drugs, labor, pushing, baby. She wouldn't admit to being nervous, but naturally she was, even if she knew exactly what was going to happen to her and her poor, poor body. She thought of Puck's words and looked reflectively at Quinn, the blonde giving her a sympathetic smile. If Quinn could survive giving birth, then it shouldn't be that hard for her.

They arrived at the ER doors, and nurses were waiting for her. Again Finn lifted Santana into a wheelchair, and she was taken off, leaving Quinn and Tina to fill out forms. The doctors almost sent Santana home, but Finn insisted that they keep her there, borderline hysterical.

By the time she was put into a room and hooked up to an IV and a monitor, she started having contractions, though they were nothing worse than really bad period cramps so far. All she had to do was think of kicking Finn in the face to get through them. Quinn and Finn sat with her, the others having arrived but made to wait in the waiting room. Santana had made the decision awhile ago that no one besides Finn and Brittany were to be in the delivery room, though Quinn was highly sought after as far as laboring went, having been through it before herself.

As a particularly hard contraction hit her, she almost wished her mother was there to hold her hand and tell her everything was okay. But Quinn was there, and she was doing a good enough job keeping her sane. Finn stood off a little in the corner, unsure of what he was supposed to be doing. A doctor came in and let them know that they had awhile yet, but that Santana was doing well and that everything was going according to plan so far.

When he left and yet another contraction seized her, Finn stood idly by, his eyes wide with fear as he watched Santana's face contort in pain. Santana found herself growing more and more irritated with him, regretting letting him in here. All he was doing was standing around being useless; she and Quinn were the ones doing all the work. Here she was in an immense amount of pain, and he was being about as handy as an umbrella in a hurricane. When the contraction ended she glared at him, pointing towards the door.

"You can go now."

"I'm sorry, what?" Finn asked, stepping towards her and reaching for her hand. Santana shook her head, moving her hand out of his grasp.

"Finn, back the fuck off," Santana said angrily. "Just go. Please." Why wasn't there a sign somewhere, "No useless people in the maternity ward"?

"What? Are you seriously going nuts on me right now?" Finn asked exasperatedly, an edge to his voice. "You can't kick me out!"

Santana looked at him as if he'd grown another head.

"Going nuts? I'm sorry, but I am terrified out of my mind. I'm having a baby. I have to do this for god knows how long and it's only getting worse, and all you're doing is fucking standing there! _Sorry_ if I'm overreacting," she retorted hotly. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from him, not wanting to look at his face any longer as she seethed.

"Santana, this whole time you've always said you wanted me in here, and now you're saying you don't," Finn said, trying very hard to remain calm.

"I don't want you here if all you're doing is a big bunch of nada!" Santana cried. "That's not fair, you don't have to do any of this; you just get to stand around waiting!"

"I don't know what to do; it's not like I've done this before!" Finn countered, his face stark white. "I don't know what I am doing."

"Neither do I, Finn, but I'm fucking doing it, aren't I?"

Quinn decided to step in at this moment lest this escalate any further. This is just what Santana needed, a blood pressure rising argument with Finn in the hospital, with their baby on the way.

"You two calm down," she ordered, taking command easily since Santana was in a fractured state. She looked her friend in the face and smoothed a stray lock of hair behind her ear gently, trying to calm her down. "Santana, Finn is going to stay because he wants to be here for you and I know you want him here, too." She knew Santana conceded to her decision, if only because she was in too much pain and afraid. Quinn turned to Finn, brandishing an admonishing finger at him. "Finn, don't yell at Santana. She's pregnant and hormonal and about to push a baby out of her hooha; she's not exactly rational." Santana opened her mouth to protest, but Quinn went on before the words could form. "Let's just focus on what is important: getting this baby here." Finn nodded, and took Santana's hands in his.

"I'm sorry, I just... I want to be here and I can't stand the thought of you not wanting me here for this. It's important to me," he told her earnestly, his thumbs rubbing the backs of her hands tenderly. Santana fought the urge to tear her hands away from his as she scoffed.

"Oh, good God, do we have to do this now? Yadda yadda, I'm sorry too, just..." Another contraction hit her like a ton of bricks, causing her to stop midsentence and lurch forward, now clutching Finn's hands as hard as she could. Finn looked concerned and bent down towards her, somewhat teriffied.

"Breathe, breathe through it..." he coached timidly, and Quinn stood behind her, rubbing the small of her back hard. Santana noticed that that helped, and leaned herself into Quinn's fists.

"Finn, switch me," Quinn said with the authority of one who might know what she was talking about, and the two changed positions as quickly as possible, with Quinn now lending her hands to Santana to be squeezed and Finn applying pressure to her lower back.

"Just breathe..." Finn repeated, now more sure of himself. Santana's face was screwed up in pain, but she made no noises except those of deep breathing. It stopped as suddenly as it began and she leaned back, relieved. Finn moved closer to steady her with his arms, and he laid her back gently on her pillows.

"My fucking sweet baby Jesus, that shit hurts!" she said, eyes closing. Finn stifled a laugh and looked over at Quinn, who wasn't smiling. She knew what Santana was feeling, and what was to come. It definitely was not funny. Finn coughed and regained his composure.

"Do you need me to go get you something? That's something I can do."

"Brittany, I want Brittany," Santana groaned, sitting back up, her hand outstretched for Quinn's. She tried to curl into herself as best as she could with her belly in the way. Finn made as if to leave the room to find Brittany, and Santana cried out to him, her voice strained. "No don't! Stay here, your hands!"

Her broken sentence made sense to him, and he did as she asked, again pressing his closed fists into her back. He was surprised it didn't hurt her more, but she leaned as hard against his hands as she could while still curling forward. It was an awkward position but if it worked, it worked. When this contraction passed, Finn and Quinn shared a look.

"I'm going to go find a doctor, and I'm going to get Brittany, okay?" Quinn told Santana as she pulled a hair elastic off of her wrist and quickly put up Santana's hair into a high and loose chignon, which Santana didn't fight. Santana nodded, biting her lip. She looked up at Finn when Quinn had left and gave a small sob, tears forming in her eyes. The fact that it was really happening, the pain coming on a lot faster and more severe than she expected had started to make her panic, and she just really wanted this over with.

"Finn, I'm so scared," she said softly, attempting not to let the waterworks start. "I'm really scared! I don't know what I'm doing, and it hurts, it really, really hurts," she cried, tears flowing freely down her cheeks now as she completely failed at not crying. Finn immediately hugged her to him, if not for her but for his sake. "I can't do this," she sobbed, turning her face against his chest and weeping.

Finn was also afraid, and he'd counted on Santana being the strong one... That was what she was! She was Santana Freakin' Lopez! She wasn't afraid of anything! He had needed her to be tough and yell at him to stop being a pussy or something, and here she was almost completely desolate. He hugged her tighter and shh'd her, rubbing her shoulders.

"I know it hurts, I'm sorry," Finn said softly, still attempting to comfort her despite how lost he felt. "But you can do this. We just need to get on our A game... and bring it!" he said with a little oomph, pumping his fist in the air. Santana stopped crying and craned her head back so she could look Finn straight in the face. She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her hand, staring at him incredulously.

"Did you... did you just use sport logic on me? I'm having a baby, and you're using sport logic?" she asked slightly in disbelief.

"It applies doesn't it?" Before Santana could form a response to that, a doctor walked in the room.

"How are we doing in here?"

Neither Santana nor Finn answered, as they each felt it should be fairly obvious. The doctor nodded.

"Ah. First babies are always the scariest," he said nonchalantly, scanning over the read outs on the fetal monitor. "Your contractions are still very erratic... There's no pattern here yet."

"What does that mean?" Finn asked, knowing Santana wouldn't dare.

"We're still going to be here for awhile I'm afraid," he said, still using the same nonplussed tone as he had been earlier. Santana wanted to kill him; how could he act like this wasn't a big deal? This was huge! How long was this going to take? "Let me take a look, and we'll see how many centimeters you are."

Santana obliged, scooting herself away from Finn and shucking off her covers. With absolutely no hint at modesty, she propped her legs up, allowing the doctor access. Finn blushed wildly and looked away, and was scared for Quinn and Brittany lest they choose this most inopportune time to enter the room. Santana didn't even give two thoughts about any of it, too frazzled to be thinking clearly.

"You're still at a two. I'll tell you what, we can get you on a Pitocin drip, and that should start speeding things along. Is that something you want to do?" he asked, indicating that Santana could place her legs back down.

"_Yes_," she answered automatically, stressing the word. "Anything to get this over with sooner." She looked at Finn and he nodded.

"Whatever she wants," he agreed. No way in hell was he about to have an opinion on anything if Santana already did.

"When can I get one of those epidural things?" Santana asked as the doctor started to make his way out of the room. He shrugged at her sympathetically.

"Typically not until your contraction pattern is set and you're about four centimeters dialated. Which... I can't say when for sure will be." Santana flopped herself back against the bed and flung her arm across her face.

"That's fan-fucking-tastic," she exclaimed. "Just great." The doctor left without another word to them, which suited Santana just fine.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: You'll be getting two chapters this evening. :) Tired of making you all wait and I'm sure you guys are over it too LMAO!**

A few minutes later Quinn was back, with a confused and scared Brittany being tugged behind her. Once in the room, Brittany flew to Santana's side, crawling on the bed with her and taking her friend in her arms.

"Brittany!" Santana exclaimed, hugging the blonde, relieved to see her finally. Just then another contaction hit her, and she found herself squeezing Brittany, digging her fingers into her shoulders without thinking. Brittany said nothing, not even reacting to the pain of nails breaking her skin, instead burrying her face into the side of Santana's neck and closing her eyes.

"Santana-nana, it's okay. It's okay," Brittany said soothingly, and she started to rock back and forth slightly. Santana whimpered in response, and let out a choked cry. This one was worse than the others, lasting longer and with an intensity that made Santana's vision blur.

"Fuck!"

Brittany started to make soft whooshing sounds with her mouth, the same ones she made when she herself was upset. For some reason this helped Santana, as she focused on the noises Brittany made and mimicked them until the contraction ceased. When it was over she slumped against Brittany, her friend holding her gently and patting her on the back, still rocking.

"Santana, I'm sorry I was hiding again. Quinn told me you're not going to die," Brittany said softly, her voice no more than a whisper in Santana's ear. Santana's eyes flicked to Quinn, who sighed and shook her head.

"She was afraid for you, San," Quinn explained lightly, not wanting to get into details right now. She patted Brittany on the back and gave Santana a look. Though it was one of the last things she felt like doing, Santana quickly attempted to make Brittany feel better, remembering how she'd been present for her scare and how that had affected her.

"I'm okay, Brittany, I promise. This is just the hard part of getting the baby." Santana's voice was soft and tired, and she didn't bother moving from her friend's arms. She hadn't been expecting that contraction, and it hurt so badly she wanted to scream and cry even though it was gone. Brittany sensed Santana's wear and laid down, still keeping Santana in her arms.

"Well I'll stay with you, here, if you want me to." Santana nodded, her eyes closed against the start of yet another conctraction, her fists balling in the fabric of Brittany's Cheerio top.

"Please," Santana whined through her teeth, her face a horrible grimace. Brittany conceded, and Finn had to admit to being a little relieved. With Brittany here, that would take some of the pressure off of him, and he already knew it would benefit Santana to have her best friend at her side.

* * *

The doctor came again when Finn had sought him out, desperate. Santana was in so much pain, and that meant _he_ was in so much pain. Santana had demanded he go find that stupid idiot of a doctor and get her a damn epidural already, leaving her for a few moments with just Quinn and Brittany as he raced around trying to find help.  
The doctor checked her again and sighed, shaking his head.

"No can do," he said simply, looking at Finn with an immense amount of sympathy. Santana could be heard through the halls, screaming and berating Finn at the top of her lungs; it was no secret that her labor was a hard one. Santana looked at the doctor with wide eyes, her face enraged.

"YES CAN DO!" Santana shrieked. "Yes can do, and can do now! My God, what are you all, sadists? This is torture! My dad's a lawyer; he'll sue you for crimes against humanity!"

"Ms. Lopez... You need to calm down," the doctor said sternly.

Brittany tensed, her hands resting on the brunette's shoulders, and Finn groaned. Oh that stupid fool of a man. What made him think he could get away with saying that, and to Santana, of all people?

"Are you kidding me? You're fucking kidding me! _You_ need to calm down! I'm having a baby, you fix it, and you fix it now!" Santana screamed, and Quinn took her hands in hers, shh'ing her softly, Brittany still rubbing her shoulders.

"I'm sorry, but it's just a waiting game we have to play. As soon as we can, we will get you that epidural. Until then..."

"She carries on like this," Finn finished, and the tone in his voice automatically set Santana off again.

"Again! I'm having a baby!" she yelled, throwing her hands up into the air, almost smacking Quinn in the face.

"I know, I'm sorry. You do whatever you want to, okay?" Finn said soothingly, reaching out a hand to smooth back Santana's dark hair out of her face.

"Fuck right," Santana seethed, curling into herself as her two friends sought to comfort her with soft carresses.

The doctor left again and the four were left alone, Santana's contractions steadily growing worse and closer together. Eventually Brittany and Quinn were of little comfort to her, and she screamed at them not to touch her any more. Quinn left to take a break and inform everyone of what was happening, needing to stretch her legs and rest her ears.

"Okay, Santana. Let's try to mellow out, just a little bit," Finn suggested as nicely as humanly possible, noting the tears welling in Brittany's eyes from being yelled at. Santana paid no mind, kneeling on all fours on the hospital bed and rocking, chin tucked into her chest.

"I hate everything! I hate this room, I hate this whole hospital, I hate you! I mostly hate you! With your stupid tallness and your stupid hair and your stupid scared face and your stupid dumb stupid!" Santana yelled at Finn, finding that raising her voice somehow made the contractions slightly more bearable, or at any rate allowed her to vent the frustration and pain she felt each time her uterus was seized. It didn't matter if it didn't make sense. Santana sat back on her haunches and threw herself back against her pillows, groaning loudly.

"_When can I push_?" she screamed, although with no one besides Finn and Brittany there to answer her it was completely rhetorical, the two teenagers lost and slightly frightened.

* * *

A couple of hours later, the doctor was between Santana's legs again, checking to see how many centimeters dialated she was. He looked up at her with a grimace and shook his head. This was news he definitely did not want to have to deliver at the moment.

"It seems we have a problem... We've missed the window for an epidural."

"I'm sorry _what_?" Santana barked, sitting upright and looking like she was going to take a swing at the doctor. "How can that happen?"

"The Pitocin did it's job."

"There's no possible way?" Finn asked with a squeeze to Santana's hand, more for himself than for Santana. They'd been doing this for hours! He wasn't sure how much more either of them would be able to take, and Brittany was at her breaking point, hiding her face in the corner of the room. Santana started sobbing, pulling Finn in closer to her so she could cry against him.

"Nooooo!" she wailed mournfully. "No no no no no!"

"The good news is, since the medicine is working so effectively, it won't be too much longer. By midnight at the latest," the doctor reassured them.

"You did all you could. Thanks for nothing!" Santana cried, throwing her fist at the door as a sign the doctor should just leave now. No one needed to tell him twice. Santana sobbed again and turned her face up to Finn. "How can I do this?"

"You're going to be fine. You're tough, okay? It won't last that much longer. And then we'll have our baby here!" Finn was trying to muster up the enthusiasm they were supposed to be feeling right now, the birth of their baby looming not so far in the distance. He hoped. Santana was not overly comforted by his words but stopped crying at least. With a set scowl, she asked that he help her up. They walked the halls until a nurse told them Santana would have to return to her room; her obsenities were disturbing the other women in the ward.

* * *

By one in the morning, Santana was still only about seven centimeters dialated. Life was hell for Santana: the contractions were strong, and they hurt, and nothing she did could make them less horrifying. They tried walking, music, multiple hot showers, singing (this one lasted for less than half a contraction), watching TV, bouncing on a birthing ball, anything and everything they could think of.

Finn was also suffering, although unlike Santana, he did so silently. He diligently did everything he was asked, and got Santana ice chips and water, tried to distract her, and kept Brittany from crying for as long as he could. Unfortunately Brittany broke about an hour ago and was sent away from the delivery room in tears to go wait with their families and friends in the waiting room, Quinn joining her as she was also of little use at this point.

Finn and Santana carried on until the wee hours of the morning, with little progress as far as they could tell. When the doctor came around again at eight am, she was only at an eight. They'd gained one measly centimeter in seven hours. Santana was unable to sleep, unable to properly rest even for a few moments. By now her contractions were steady, and the baby had even moved down into her pelvis, but there it sat, unable to go any further until Santana's body could catch up. She was physically exhausted and was very close to just throwing herself out of a window, if only for sweet release from the constant pain she was in.

To her relief though, Finn was around contantly. At first she was sure he'd just be a hinderance in the process, but now she knew she couldn't have even gotten this far without him. Between fits, she was able to realize how amazing he was being. He took every harsh word she could throw at him with grace, and didn't ask to leave or even sleep once this entire time. He held her and coached her through every contraction, and took her hands and covered her sweaty face in encouraging kisses and whispers. He tried to be helpful even though she could tell he was lost and felt useless, though he was being rather brave about the whole thing. He fetched the doctor and nurses whenever she asked, for whatever reason. He fielded phone calls and visitors (which she flat out refused at this point) and updated everyone who needed to be in the loop of their progress. She could tell it was wearing on him though, and after a particularly long contraction, she pushed him away.

"Go on and go home okay?" she told him, throwing her arm over her face in exhaustion. "It's going to be awhile still, and you haven't slept."

"I'm not going anywhere," Finn replied, leaning her up and readjusting her ponytail, which was disheveled and beyond repair anyway.

"One of us needs to be rested for when this thing finally decides to get out of my fucking body," Santana argued. Finn shook his head, running his fingers over her scalp gently.

"I'll be okay. You're doing all the work here, the least I can do is stay here with you." Santana smiled in spite of herself, angling her head so she could reach Finn's mouth, pressing a lingering kiss against his lips.

"Thank you." In truth the last thing she wanted was for Finn to leave, and she was glad he didn't take her up on his offer. She braced herself for another contraction, her eyes locked with Finn's as she breathed in a shaky breath. She could do this, with Finn at her side.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N The moment we've all been waiting for. **

"Oh my god... Santana... She's... gorgeous!" Finn exclaimed, his first look at his little girl causing him to tear up. Without thinking he kissed Santana, hard, and on the mouth. If she'd been in any condition to hit him, she would have. As it was, she couldn't give a crap about anything Finn did at that moment. It was _over_, and she had never, ever felt so relieved and exhausted and sad and happy all at the same time.

The sound of the baby's cry filled the room and pricked Santana's nerves slightly. She suddenly became aware that she wanted to hurl... A nurse seemed to know what she was going to do even before she did, and held a bowl in front of her face. She didn't care who was around; she puked. The baby still cried, and they tried to place the baby onto her chest, but Santana refused, one hand out in a silent plea and the other clutching Finn's shirt still as she had when she had been pushing.

When the nausea subsided momentarily, she leaned back against the pillows and allowed herself to cry tears of relief and overexertion. Finn was torn between being concerned for her and being fascinated with his daughter, who the nurses had handed to Finn since Santana had been unwilling. He nodded consent though as they whisked her away for whatever it was they do to babies after they're born, and so the decision was made for him.

Santana was vaguely aware that Finn was there, stroking her hair and saying soft words to her, words that were probably meant to comfort her. She knew he was sponging her face with a damp cloth, catching tears and snot and sweat and wiping all traces of gross away. All she could think is that she wanted to shower, and sleep. Or sleep and shower. The order didn't really concern her, but the need for both was great.

"How do you feel, San?" he asked her, cupping her cheek in his hand and gently angling her face so she had to look at him. She was too tired to care, letting the weight of her head be supported by his hand.

"I'm like, done."

"Yeah, you're done alright! Did you see her? She's perfect!" His face lit up with absolute joy and she wished he'd disappear from her sight.

"Yeah sure. Listen, ask someone when I can take a shower..." she said, her voice husky from the antics earlier.

"Maybe you should rest first," Finn suggested. "You look like crap." He was teasing and she knew it but she wanted to kill him anyway. She'd liked to see what he looked like after going through what she just did.

"I hate you," she told him, although it was half-assed. He probably thought she was joking.

"Yeah, you mentioned that. A few times." Finn was smiling at her. She faked one back.

"Seriously though, shower?"

"Would you like to meet your little girl first?" A nurse had re-entered the room, wheeling in a plastic bassinet, interrupting them. Finn carefully laid Santana's head back down on her pillow carefully and crossed over to the bassinet.

"Can I hold her?" he asked nervously, as if she might say no.

"Of course, Daddy," the nurse replied, picking up the baby, who was swaddled in many blankets and wearing a tiny pink hat. "Now, she's a tiny thing, one of the tiniest I've seen born full term. Do you know her stats?" She effortlessly handed the baby to Finn, who looked scared as hell.

"N-n-no..." he answered, staring down at his daughter. "I'm so afraid to breathe while I'm holding her..."

"Don't be, you're doing great," the nurse told him. "She weighed in at five pounds, eight ounces. She's seventeen inches long. Great APGAR score, too." Finn just nodded and swallowed. After a few moments he looked at Santana, and very, very carefully, walked his way over to the bed again.

"Do you want to hold her now?" Santana was half asleep, but through her stupor she shook her head. Finn looked quickly at the nurse and then back to Santana. "I think you should." Santana let out a weak groan, and Finn knew that meant she conceded. He placed the baby in her arms slowly. "You got her?"

"Yes, I've got her," Santana answered curtly, more awake now. She tightened her grip on the bundle of blankets and peered down at the baby's face. The nurse was right, she was certainly tiny... Even wrapped in all of the blankets Santana could tell that. Santana didn't resist the urge to remove the tiny pink hat. Underneath the baby had a lot of dark, dark hair on her head, which was kind of surprising. Her skin was reddish and wrinkly, and she had fine hairs over her face and ears. Her little face was very smushed and funny looking, like all of the pictures of newborns she'd ever seen. She thought though that she could see Finn's eyes through all of the smushy-ness. Maybe. She looked up at the nurse. "Does she have all of her fingers and toes?" she asked, extremely serious.

"Five on each appendage, no more, no less," the nurse answered with a wink.

"That's good."

"I'd say," Finn chimed in. He had moved closer and was now sitting on the edge of the bed with Santana. She didn't mind. She even may have scooted closer to him, but she wouldn't have admitted it if asked. "So what do you think of her?"

"Hmm?" She looked up at him quickly and then back down at the baby. "She's... a baby."

In truth, she didn't know what to think. The baby wasn't overly cute or exciting at this moment in time. She didn't feel any sudden rush of love and adoration, no flood of tender or motherly feelings towards the tiny human she was responsible for now. The thought bothered her but she didn't show it, in true Santana fashion. She had just given birth and she was just expected to love the root of her pain and agony for the past twenty three hours. _Right_.

"Yeah, she is that, but..." Finn looked at her, waiting for her to continue on with a perplexed look on his face.

"What? She's nice. Very light," she said, trying not to sound as flippant as she felt she was prone to be in this circumstance. Finn frowned and looked like he was about to say something else, so she cut him off, handing the baby to him.

"Look, I'm just really tired, Finn. Let me get some rest, okay?"

"We need a name for this little cutie first," the nurse said, welding a piece of paper and a pen in their direction.

"Karlie Brinn," Santana said firmly, and she let Finn have the honor of spelling it out for the nurse to write down. The nurse nodded when she had all down and looked expectantly at them.

"Last name?"

"We haven't really discu-" Finn started to say, but he was cut off immediately by Santana as she reached for him, placing her hand on his arm to quiet him.

"Hudson. Karlie Brinn Hudson," she said quickly. Finn looked at her with disbelief on his face.

"Hudson? Really?" he asked, hopeful but searching her face as if this might be some sort of cruel joke. They'd never spoken about what last name the baby would have. It was always a conversation each had meant to start, but it just never felt like the right time. As hard as he tried, he couldn't even find a hint of a tease in her countenance. She simply nodded, looking down at the baby.

"Seriously. She should have your last name."

"This really means a lot to me, Santana," he said quietly, disregarding the nurse completely. "I'm really... I don't know, what's the right word for something like this?" He laughed a little bit, causing her to smile. "Just... thank you."

"Are you going to cry? Do I need to like, leave the room?" Santana snarked, uneasy with the obvious emotion he was feeling. She saw the hurt in Finn's face and rebuked herself under her breath. "I'm sorry. I'm just really, really tired, okay Finn?"

"It's okay," he said understandingly. He adjusted the baby in his arms and smiled widely. "She's really awesome."

Santana closed her eyes, nodding slightly. The baby would be more awesome once she got some sleep, she was sure of that. The last thing she heard before she slipped off to sleep was the nurse trundling off and telling Finn that someone else would be in to speak to them about newborn care and to get Santana started on feeding the baby.

It wasn't fifteen minutes later before another nurse was bothering her, waking her up from her much needed sleep. Finn was still sitting on the edge of the bed, and the baby was resting up on his shoulder. He gave her a grin and passed the baby to her.

The nurse cleared her throat, and Santana looked from the baby to her groggily. She had a pen behind her ear and a bunch of papers in her arms. She looked at them quickly and then looked back at Santana.

"Okay then, Ms. Lopez, I'm Nurse Henson. I'll be assisting you with the basics of taking care of your new baby. I see she hasn't ate yet. Has she cried much?" she asked, all business.

"I haven't heard a peep from her since she first came out... Is that normal?" Santana asked, suddenly worried that maybe she should be making more noise. Didn't babies cry all the time? She picked up the baby from her lap and set her against her shoulder gingerly, noting the pleasant heft the baby had despite her aching desire to sleep for years.

"It can be. Babies are individuals; she may just be a quiet soul," Nurse Henson responded reasurringly. She gestured towards Finn with a flick of her pen.

"Would you mind standing up by the bed, so I can maneuver and you can still see what's going on?" It was a rhetorical question, so Finn just moved off of the bed and stood off to the side, a slightly nervous look on his face.

"Thank you. Now, first, let's cover the very, very basics, such as changing a diaper." So she went over how do to that and demonstrated with the baby, and Santana halfway wondered if she shouldn't have brought her parenting class certificate. Then the nurse showed them how to clean the baby without getting her umbilical cord stump wet, how to put clothes on her, and lots of different ways to hold her. Santana was mildly pleased that she recalled most of this from those classes. She noticed how the baby was pretty content with being messed with, and she felt like the baby was paying attention, too. She hoped that she was absorbing some of this and might take it easy on her new parents.

"Now, you may want to try to feed her. You plan on breastfeeding or using formula?" Nurse Henson asked Santana directly.

"Breastfeeding," she answered confidently. She had already decided on this a few months back, after she read how much more beneficial it was for the baby and her. Plus it was cheaper and just more convienent for the most part. Nurse Henson nodded.

"All right then. Dad, I assume you aren't modest?" she asked Finn, as she unbuttoned Santana's hospital gown and pulled the front down. "Toss me that pillow off that chair over there, please." Finn handed it to her, and she set it on Santana's lap. Santana should have been highly embarrased to be be sitting there with both breasts exposed, but she was too tired to care and the way the nurse was doing things made it feel less like a big deal. Santana supposed she did this every day. It is her job, anyway.

For the next half hour, Nurse Henson talked to Santana about the best positions to feed the baby in and how to assure the baby had latched on properly. Finn politely looked away, instead focusing his attention on a picture of an elephant on the wall.

It felt odd, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't hurt. It was nothing compared to what she'd just gone through, though. She questioned the nurse on when she'd know if the baby was done and before the question had even left her lips she felt a sudden pressure and realized that the baby had latched. She couldn't explain why this thrilled her, or why she felt like crying, but it did and she almost did.

"Finn, look," Santana said excitedely, and Finn turned back towards her and the bed. Cradled in the crook of Santana's left arm, the baby was just sucking away like there was no tommorow. Santana smiled up at Finn proudly. "See, she's doing it!" Finn smiled right back and watched them together, unable to keep himself from stroking the top of the baby's head as she ate. Santana didn't balk at this, and she felt just a bit less tired, knowing her baby needed her.

"She's smart, like her mom," Finn said, pride obvious in his voice as he met Santana's eyes. Santana blushed slightly.

"And she's got the appetite of her dad," Santana remarked, and she winced as an unexpected pang went through her breast. It passed, and the little family was left on their own by the nurse, who assured them they would get awhile without someone bothering them.

The baby only ate for about ten minutes before she started to turn her head away from Santana and started to fall asleep. Santana upped the baby over her shoulder and patted her back. Finn was watching with eager eyes, so she passed her over to him and let him do it. Not too much time passed before he achieved the desired result: a nice big burp, and some spit up.

"Gross," Finn said, wrinkling his nose at his messed shirt. He handed the baby to Santana and shucked it off, his undershirt still clean. "I guess that's what those burp rags are for, right?" He chuckled, and settled alongside Santana on the bed, the baby between them.

Santana watched her daughter's face and Finn's alternately, her heart swelling with joy. They could be happy, she knew it. Her eyes still felt heavy, and slowly they closed until they didn't open again, lost in a well deserved and deep slumber.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: I think this might be our second to last chapter, guys. But enjoy this, and I might have a surprise for you all later. ;) Also this chapter is FOREVER long... Have fun! LMAO**

"Santana," came Finn's voice, soft and not far from her ear. "San. Sorry, but you gotta wake up. People want to see you." She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, unwilling. Why would anyone want to see her? Then she remembered, her hand reaching slowly for her deflated stomach. Oh yeah, _that_. She opened her eyes, Finn's face the first thing she saw. They smiled at each other and Santana yawned, stretching. She immediately regretted doing so, as she felt a pang in almost every muscle she never knew she had. So this is what getting hit by a train feels like.

"Can I shower first? I'm gross." She felt absolutely disgusting and she knew she smelled. Despite the care Finn took of her after, she was pretty sure she had baby goo everywhere and somehow she'd been placed on a pad that after a quick peek under the hospital sheet she could tell was soaked with blood. And she was _sleeping_ on it. Her hair was still plastered to her head and smelled of dried sweat. No way in hell was anyone seeing her like this; suddenly she was aware of how lucky (or unlucky) Finn was to be allowed this close as it was. Finn handed her a giant jug of water and she drank it, Finn angling the straw so he could hold it and she could drink with minimal effort. He watched her almost like she was a science experiment, his expression rather curious.

"Sure. You know I love you, but it's hard to stand near you right now."

Santana didn't react, instead chugging the water like she had been lost in a desert for seven years. When it was emptied, he refilled it in the attached bathroom's sink, and she drank half of that before she felt satiated. It made her feel slightly better, not even realizing she was practically dying of thirst and now she noticed, hunger. That fact was forgotten for a second when Santana looked around the room, the baby nowhere to be found. Finn already knew what she was going to ask when she turned to him, her face worried.

"The nurses just took the baby to the nursery so we could get some rest; they said they'd bring her when you woke up or she was hungry again," he explained, and Santana breathed a sigh of relief. She was okay with the baby being away for now, but she just wanted to know where she was.

"How long was I out for?" she asked, turning her face into the pillow again. She was still so very tired. Her head was swimming, unable to pick which need was greater right now: shower, food, water, or sleep. Her chest pained her slightly when she tried to turn onto her stomach, and she quickly decided that was a mistake, slowly moving back to her side.

"A half hour," Finn said apologetically, and as he expected Santana groaned.

"Do people not realize what I just did?" Santana asked rhetorically, her eyes threatening to close again despite herself.

Finn helped her sit up, not wanting to keep anxious new grandparents waiting for much longer. Their moms were working themselves into a tizzy waiting for Santana to be presentable; she was lucky he could stall them for this long.

"It sucks but once they see her and stuff you can go back to sleep," Finn offered, and Santana begrudgingly agreed. Sitting up wasn't all too much effort, but standing made her knees buckle. Finn caught her, his face pinched, as he righted her on her feet. She clung to him, and the sensation that her very guts were going to spill out from her body scared her so much she tried to sit on the floor, but Finn held her up. "Hey! What are you doing, don't sit!"

Santana looked up at him, unable to put into words what she was feeling in that moment. Everything hurt, the effort of laboring and having to push for almost five hours having taken all the energy out of her muscles, and _god damn were her guts really going to fall out_? He noticed her panic and immediately was frightened himself.

"Do I need to go get a doctor? Is this normal?" he asked, still holding her up. She wanted to nod, but she realized it _was_ probably normal.

"Fuck this shit," Santana seethed, suddenly angry. Could she not catch a break? She'd gone through hell and now her body was failing her, and hard. "Just get me to the shower. You're going to have to help me."

He nodded and as a preemptive strike scooped her up in his arms, deciding carrying her would be a good idea. He almost immediately regretted it, feeling wetness soak through his shirt. Plus, Santana smelled. Badly. But he sucked it up and deposited her on the shower seat. Looking down he saw his shirt was stained bright red, and he grimaced.

"This is so gross."

"You're telling me," Santana snarked, fumbling with the hospital gown. Her arms felt too noodely and after a few seconds of effort they dropped limply to her side. She closed her eyes and breathed in a ragged breath, only seeing one option here. "Could you get this off of me?"

If Finn was iffy about her request he didn't show it, very gingerly undressing her, mindful of his every move lest he bump her. Neither of them was phased by her nudity, Finn having gotten completely over any and all squeamishness because he knew Santana needed his help. Once she was settled back on the shower seat, he pulled her hair out of it's scrunchie.

"Quinn is probably not going to want this back," Finn mused, tossing it into the trash can that was in the corner of the small bathroom. Santana gave a short laugh despite herself, though her face turned immediately sad.

"I'm sorry I can't do it," she said in a whisper, watching him start running water in the tub, checking the temperature. She felt like a freakin' invalid, watching him take care of her. Sitting there naked, bleeding heavily, and completely unable to help herself, Santana started to cry. And cry. And cry.

"Hey," Finn said soothingly, finding the cup he'd used for her water earlier and filling it up with water from the faucet. "It's okay. I know you don't like this. But that's what I'm here for, to help you, okay? I want to."

Santana knew she was being a little bit silly but she just felt so helpless... She hated being dependent, even if it was just Finn.

"Does this feel okay?" Finn asked, holding the cup of water out to her. She dipped her fingers in, and not minding the temperature she nodded. He was about to pour the cup of water over her when she shook her head. Finn stopped, studying her face carefully.

"Do you want me to get a nurse?"

"No," she answered quickly, knowing she'd rather Finn saw her like this than a stranger. She bit her lip, unsure if she should ask what she wanted to. "Do you have extra clothes here?"

"Yeah Kurt brought some, along with some night gowns for you and... things I don't recognize. Weird bras and pad things and big underwear." Santana winced at his description but decided to ignore it for now.

"Can you get in with me?" She gestured to his shirt, which was probably ruined. "You could use a shower, too." In response Finn stepped back from her and began to take his own clothes off. When he was down to his underwear he turned around, and gave a little nervous cough.

"I uh... You sure about this? I can go after you, I don't mind."

"Please, Finn. I've seen it before, and it's not like we're going to get it on right now. Please just hurry up so I can get this nasty funk off of me."

"Well we're not going to both sit on that stool. Think you can stand if I help you?" he asked, sighing as he shucked off his boxers, deciding to just get over it. She was already naked anyway and he'd just seen her give birth. There weren't that many boundaries left between them.

"I can try," Santana offered, and with his aid she stood, holding onto one of his arms while he moved the stool out of the shower. He got in behind her and turned the running water over so that it ran from the shower head. As soon as the water hit her, Santana let out a low groan. It felt so _good_, finally getting some of the gross off of her.

Finn started in immediately, soaping her up and scrubbing shampoo into her hair. It wasn't her stuff from home, but it would have to do for now, and she sure didn't seem to mind, moaning as he ran his hands over her body and through her hair, massaging her scalp.

"Contain yourself," Finn joked, dipping his head to press a quick kiss into the side of her neck, now that she didn't smell. Santana chortled, turning to face him and return the favor, pecking him on the lips.

"Rinse me off, loser," she responded, turning back around. She let her hands fall to her stomach and reeled slightly as she felt herself. It was so... squishy! She was used to her belly being round and tight, and now it was just soft flesh. "Oh that's gross," she said under her breath, and Finn pretended not to notice what she was doing.

Once the shampoo was out of her hair and her body rinsed, he did himself, which was a little difficult seeing as he had to still support most of her weight. But he got it done, and then set the shower seat back in the shower for Santana while he went to get their clothes, wrapping himself in a towel. When he came back, his face was bright red.

"Nurse is out there, she came to check on you."

"Oh so we got caught?" Santana joked, and Finn just shook his head at her, thinking it quite natural for her to find that funny.

"You first."

He helped her into a pair of the ugly underwear Kurt had brought, averting his eyes as she inserted a monster sized pad into them. He then tried to slip her into a bra, but she protested, indicating her swollen breasts. The water pressure had hurt; she couldn't imagine confining them now.

"Not happening. Just the night gown, okay?" Finn nodded and got it on her. Santana sat on the toilet while Finn dressed, and she watched him thoughtfully. Never had she ever taken a shower with another person and not had it end in sex. Of course, that was the _last_ thing on her mind right now.

Once they were both decent, Finn escorted Santana back into the hospital room, and Santana was relieved to see the sheets had been changed and the room had been cleaned while they had been busy. The nurse was waiting for them in a chair, and she hopped up, smiling at the pair.

"Do you feel better now, Mom?" she asked, still smiling.

"A ton," Santana admitted, allowing herself to smile back, the feeling of being dirty and nasty finally gone. She settled back onto the bed, relieved not to have to go through the effort of standing any more.

"Good. The more you get up and move around, the sooner you'll recover from your delivery." Santana nodded, though she had no intention of getting up from this hospital bed for a very long time. "Are you ready for me to go get Karlie and you can have your visitors? I think they're getting antsy; and there's one girl out there who is beside herself; she keeps asking me if you made it out alive."

Santana automatically knew she was talking about her best friend and suppressed a laugh, nodding her head. She wanted to see Brittany so badly, and her mom, and her dad, and Quinn.

"Yes, please," she responded, and Finn went along with the nurse to fetch people.

The nurse arrived back with Karlie first, and Santana was surprised at how excited she was to see the baby again, considering just moments before she would have gladly skipped out on this for sleep.

"Hi baby!" she found herself chirping, scooping the baby out of the nurse's arms and clutching her closely. Karlie lay sound asleep, and Santana giggled at the way her little mouth hung open, her tiny pink lips in a perfect O shape. She was less red, although she was still kind of wrinkly. Santana laid a quick kiss on her forehead, smiling against the baby's soft skin. "I'm sorry about earlier, when I made Daddy hold you. Mommy was just really, really tired. I still kind of am," she said to the baby, watching her sleep with awe.

This little tiny thing came out of her. She made this. Besides Finn's one tiny little sperm, she _made_ this whole baby. It was kind of freaky, actually, the more she thought about it.

"But it's okay. You're here, and in just a couple of minutes you're going to meet your grandparents, and your uncles, and your aunties... They're going to be so happy to see you finally! You've kept them waiting for so long." She found herself rambling, for a second feeling slightly stupid for talking so much to a person who not only was just a couple hours old but also was _asleep_. But the longer she talked the more natural it felt, and she had to admit she liked the fact that no matter what she said, Karlie was not going to argue. That she liked a lot.

"I know it might feel like a lot since you only just got here, but you'll get used to it. Mommy and Daddy are kind of social people; well, at least Mommy is." Suddenly it struck her that she was calling herself mommy... Mommy. _Moooommmmmyyyy_. She stretched the word out in her mind, trying it out. It sounded okay, but so _weird_.

"I guess I didn't introduce myself really, did I? I probably don't have to though; we _have_ lived together for like, nine months. I think I know you." She dipped her face down to the baby's, touching her nose to her daughter's, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, the scent of baby lingering. "Do you know me, too?"

"Hey," Finn said quickly, opening the door fast. Santana looked up at him, startled out of her baby daze. "You ready?"

"Let's do this," she replied, a smile on her face, anticipating everyone's visit a lot more than she probably should. Finn looked back into the hallway and she could see him gesturing wildly with his one arm out of the door.

"Come on in and meet her!"

One by one people filed in, both Santana and Finn's parents, Santana's brothers, Kurt, and Brittany.

Santana's mother was the first in the door, going to her daughter's side and scooping her into a mindful hug, kissing her fiercely on the side of her head. Automatically she realized her mother was crying, sniffing into her shoulder. She pulled away and wiped her eyes, gazing down at the baby and reaching a hand out to stroke her cheek softly.

"Oh baby, I'm so proud of you... My little girl, with her little girl..." Marty said softly, her voice full of emotion. Santana gave a laugh, but found herself tearing up alongside her mother.

"Here, hold her," Santana urged, and her mother needed no one to tell her twice, scooping up the infant in her arms and staring down at her in awe. Everyone was a hustle of noise, gathering around the hospital bed and admiring the new baby, exclaiming over how cute she was, unable to contain their excitement.

"I think I see Finn's mouth there," Carole proclaimed when it was her turn, the second to hold the baby. Santana's father nodded in agreement, and lightly smoothed down Karlie's hair.

"She's got the Lopez locks though, look at that head of hair!" he said proudly, grinning down at his grand daughter proudly. He looked over at Santana, still beaming. "I'm so proud, Santy. She's a beautiful girl."

"Thank you, _Papi_," Santana replied, her eyes twinkling. She could see her dad's chest puff up with pride at having been called _papi_, knowing he had wanted that badly ever since the beginning of Santana's pregnancy.

"You did good, Kid." Hendrix enveloped his little sister in a hug, and she didn't even mind when he squeezed her. "She's cute!"

"Not as cute as me when I was a baby, but she's not a bad looking baby," Sambora said with a chuckle, reaching over and ruffling Santana's still wet hair.

"Don't say that about my niece!" Hendrix said in mock anger. "She's a gorgeous baby; she's nothing like her Uncle Sambora."

Santana laughed at her brothers, happy to share in their merriment. She noticed Brittany was hanging off to the side, though she was watching Karlie very intently as she was being held, now in Burt's arms.

"I tell ya, I can't wait to be up all night with this little thing whenever she and San stay over," Burt said with a chuckle, and Finn grinned at Santana, both knowing he really probably couldn't. Santana then looked at Brittany and beckoned her over to her side, and when Brittany reluctantly sidled over, Santana urged her to sit on the bed with her.

"You okay?" she asked softly. She was sure no one else was paying attention, too busy staring at the baby and Finn was going on and on and _on_ about how awesome she was, everyone quick to agree and add on to the long list of exactly why the baby was so amazing. Brittany flicked her eyes briefly to Santana before they rested back on the baby, a sad expression on her face.

"Yeah," she answered slowly, and Santana wondered why Brittany even bothered trying to lie to her as if she couldn't see right through that.

"Hey. What is it? You can tell me," Santana urged, putting her arm over Brittany's shoulder and hugging her to her side.

"I like the baby..." Brittany began slowly, still watching Karlie warily. "But maybe she doesn't like me?"

"Why would you say that, Britt?" Santana asked, a little confused. "She likes you. You talked to her so much when she was in my tummy, she probably knows your voice just about as well as mine and Finn's," Santana assured her friend with a smile. "You want to hold her?" Brittany looked at Santana for a few seconds, slowly thinking, before she nodded her head.

"Why yes I do."

"Here, Kurt, let Brittany hold her," Santana said, getting the attention of Karlie's most colorful uncle. Kurt looked at Santana like she might be crazy, holding the baby out to Brittany anyway.

"Watch her head, Brittany," Marty warned. "She can't support her head by herself so you have to hold her."

"Put her in the crook of your arm," Kurt suggested, demonstrating. Santana had no idea Kurt was any good with babies, or even knew what to do with one, but he sure seemed to be doing well with Karlie.

"And don't squeeze," Carole advised, probably the one with the least experience in dealing with Brittany but somehow knowing she should be nervous.

"Make sure you don't scratch her with your nails," Finn added, coming to stand beside the bed behind Santana, watching Brittany closely, and she didn't even have the baby in her arms yet.

Brittany looked at each of them as they told her what to do, and automatically was confused. She bit her lip, and looked at Santana, overwhelmed.

"Guys, stop," Santana snapped, knowing that Brittany was getting upset. "She's not stupid." She held out her hands for the baby and Kurt passed her over grudgingly. Karlie was still sound asleep, and remained that way even as Santana slowly slipped Karlie into Brittany's arms, helping her move her hands to where they needed to be. "There, just like that." She took her hands away and sat back, beaming proudly at Brittany, who was holding the baby just a little too high up on her chest, but grinning madly.

"She likes me!" Brittany exclaimed happily, looking down at the baby with a giant smile.

"Of course she does; she knows her Auntie Brittany," Santana told her, and she glanced up at Finn, who shot her a wink.

"Well I like you, too," Brittany said to her new niece. "I think we're going to get along just fine."

As soon as the words left her mouth, the baby started to whimper, and Brittany's eyes went wide.

"Oh _no_. Baby Karlie, don't do this to me; we're friends, remember? Don't cry..." Brittany pleaded softly, and when she started to cry she looked at Santana fearfully. "I think I broke her! I'm sorry! I can get you a new one..."

Everyone else started laughing, although not unkindly. Santana's father chuckled and stood up from where he'd sat down on the floor, motioning towards the door.

"I think our new girl here might be hungry, Brittany," he explained with a chuckle, and everyone made as if to leave.

Santana relieved Brittany of the baby, patting her gently on the back as people said goodbye and gave them their last kisses and hugs for the evening.

"We'll come see you tomorrow, once you've rested," Marty said, giving Santana a little pat on the face. "And we'll make sure the Glee kids come by tomorrow... Britt, are we taking you home?"

"Can I stay?" Brittany asked meekly, the baby still mewling in Santana's arms, getting more impatient.

"Sure, Britt," Santana answered, and she gave her mom a look letting her know it was okay.

As soon as everyone had finished their goodbyes and left the room, Santana slid her arm out of one of the sleeves on the nightgown and put it through the neck, bringing the fabric down her shoulder and exposing one of her breasts. Finn helped her get a pillow and get them both situated, and Santana did what the nurse had instructed her to do earlier. Karlie latched right away, a relief to Santana's aching chest. A sharp intake of breath from Brittany caused both Finn and Santana to snap their attention to her. She was staring wide eyed with complete horror on her face.

"What if she bites?" Brittany asked, her terror obvious.

"She doesn't have teeth," Santana explained, though she fought not to wince as the baby's jaw suddenly started working harder, her sensitive appendage now feeling a bit like a chew toy.

"Oh."

"She sure is good at that," Finn noted, not bothering to hide the proudness he felt. He was pretty sure his baby was the smartest baby there ever was.

"Where was Quinn; did she leave already?" Santana asked, suddenly noticing the blonde's absence. It was so busy in here earlier that she hadn't even realized her friend hadn't been there.

A timely knock on the door revealed Quinn on the other side, and Finn waved her in, grinning.

"There you are. We were wondering where you were."

Quinn didn't come in, standing in the doorway, her eyes locked on the baby attached to Santana. Noticing the tears standing in Quinn's eyes, Santana's face fell. She shared a quick look with Finn, and he went to the door, patting her on the back lightly.

"I'm going to go get us something to eat that's not hospital food..." he said lamely, making up an excuse to leave the girls alone. When he was gone Quinn still stood rooted where she was, transfixed.

"Quinn... Come in here, I have my tatas out on display and you're standing with the door open," Santana joked, beckoning with her free hand for her friend. Quinn snapped out of it, nodding and shutting the door behind her as she finally came in. She sat cross legged on the end of the bed by Brittany, watching Santana and the baby for a few long moments before speaking.

"She's amazing. Just perfect," Quinn breathed, and Santana caught the hint of sadness in her tone. "Like Beth was."

Brittany frowned, reaching a hand to squeeze Quinn's shoulder sympathetically. Santana bit her lip, her heart aching for Quinn. She never got to have this with Beth, only getting the small moment after her birth to say hi and goodbye, all at once. Suddenly Santana felt a sharp pang, unable to even fathom having gone through what Quinn had to. And here she was, flaunting her baby, the connection they had, and would have for years to come. Something Quinn wouldn't ever get the chance for with her own daughter.

She was in near tears when the baby finished eating, and she placed Karlie over her shoulder to burp her, finding a rag nearby. All three girls were silent, just watching the baby. Santana couldn't think of anything to say, knowing she probably couldn't think of the right words anyway, though she sure was wracking her brain for them.

"Can I hold her?" Quinn asked sheepishly once the baby had burped and settled back down in Santana's arms. Santana nodded eagerly, handing the baby over gingerly. She could hear the catch in Quinn's breath as she brought the infant closer to her, staring down at her.

"She's nice isn't she?" Brittany asked, smiling at the baby despite the heavy mood in the room, unable to stop herself. "She's my friend... She can be your friend, too," Brittany offered, looking at Quinn expectantly. Santana's chest tightened, watching Quinn's face carefully. She was thinking, she could tell, and undoubtedly about the daughter she gave up not all that long ago.

"She is very nice," Quinn agreed in a soft voice. "I'd like that."

"We're her aunts, did you know that?" Brittany went on, still smiling. Quinn looked up at Santana, questioning her.

"Her middle name is Brinn. After you two," Santana said, testing how far she could go being sentimental without making Quinn flat out cry. She was surprised when Quinn's face broke out into a grin at this news.

"Really? That's awesome," Quinn said happily. "Thank you for that, Santana. That's really special." She tilted her head to the side, pursing her lips together before looking at Santana curiously. "Where did Karlie come from?"

"It was the only name Finn and I could agree on. And she kind of looks like a Karlie." Truth be told Santana couldn't even remember where she'd heard it, only that Finn had loved it so much that he practically begged for it to be their daughter's name. Since she'd chosen her middle name, she had given in in the end. Now she was pretty happy with the choice, thinking it suited her well.

There must have been a secret code saying that they weren't going to talk about Beth, at least not now, because the conversation took a sudden upturn, and all three girls were soon busy animatedly talking about Karlie and eventually Santana detailed the horrifying event that was giving birth, grossing out Brittany and earning several agreeing nods and hums from Quinn. When Finn came back, they ate, and as soon as she was finished eating, Santana passed out, leaving the other three in charge of the baby until her next feeding, finally able to sleep.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Okay! So! This isn't the last chapter, but I'm going to leave something up to you, my readers. We have two options here: **

**1) The next chapter is our last. If this happens, there will be a _sequel_, detailing their first year into parenthood. **

**OR**

** 2) This story has 4-5 more chapters. If this happens, we'll cover the "new parent/new relationship" stuff pretty easily, and then... There will _also_ be a sequel, probably set a little into the future, likely when Santana is in college and Karlie is 3-4 years old. That's up to you guys! Drop me a review or PM and let me know what you would like to see. **

**As always thank you for being patient. Real life gets in the way of what I would rather be doing, which is writing! **

**Okay enough talking. READ ON! :D**

**

* * *

**

"I'm scared to drive... I'm going ten miles under the speed limit right now," Finn admitted, nodding towards the spedometer. Karlie had been born just barely twenty hours ago, and the hospital released her and Santana, both with clean bills of health. Frankly Finn thought it was too soon, but Santana was eager to return home, sleep in her own bed and have her daughter in her own crib.

"It's okay, we're not that far from my house..." Santana reassured him, and she glanced at the back seat. Karlie hadn't made a single peep in the past ten minutes, sleeping peacefully in her carrier. All in all, most of what Karlie did was sleep, eat, cry, and mess her diapers, but Santana was still nervous that she might explode or do something horrifying if they made one wrong move.

"You feeling okay?" Finn asked once they'd arrived home and had unloaded all of the things they had to take home from the hospital, Santana curled up on the couch with the baby at her side.

She smiled at him tiredly and nodded, patting the space beside her and sitting up. Finn sat alongside her and she leaned against him, lifting up Karlie and handing her to Finn. The proud father grinned, cradling his little girl in the crook of one arm and draping the other around Santana. Santana laid her head on his chest and smiled down at the baby in his arm.

"She's ours, you know that?" Santana whispered. She watched the baby stir in her sleep, and the couple looked at each other briefly before turning their attention back to their daughter.

"I just love her so much already," Finn said softly, giving Karlie a little bounce.

Santana wasn't so sure she understood where he was coming from. Sure she _liked_ the baby well enough, she was hers after all. _Love_ was a little far fetched at this point though, the baby having almost no redeeming qualities when it came right down to it. Or maybe she did love her and she just didn't realize it yet. She had no clue; as tired as she was and as little lucidity she felt for the most part, she couldn't judge. But Finn having these feelings, totally fine with her.

"And I love you, too."

Santana froze, feeling his gaze on her face, waiting for a reaction. She relaxed and smiled, tilting her head up to meet his lips in a soft kiss.

"I love you."

The frown that quickly followed her admission made Finn nervous, as it should have.

"What's that for?"

"I just..." Santana didn't know how to explain this, not in words that didn't make her seem like a crazy person. She decided to try anyway, expecting to fail but knowing Finn would do his best to understand. "I love you, right? You're awesome, you do things... But I don't think I love Karlie." She watched his face, her brows furrowing together as she waited with baited breath. She could tell he was thinking, and after a few moments he gave a half shrug.

"But you're going to, so that's okay."

"You're not worried about that?"

"Not at all. You take a bit to warm up, in case you haven't noticed," Finn joked, but she could see that he was bothered at least slightly by what she'd said. "Maybe it's not that you don't love her, you just don't know it yet."

"Like with you," Santana offered, and he nodded.

"Yeah like that. Besides they said in those baby books sometimes it takes some time. You're kind of at your rope's end; feelings aren't super high on your body's priority list."

"The books said that?"

"Well I'm just guessing here, since you haven't slept in like, days, at least not for more than an hour or so at a time without someone bugging you or the baby needing something," Finn explained, and Santana had to agree. She was pretty numb as far as most things went. When she was more rested, her mind would be fully able to cope with all the changes that were going on. Then the love would come.

"So we shouldn't worry about it?" she pressed, and Finn shook his head.

"I don't think so. You're not like depressed or anything right? They also mentioned that in the baby books." He looked her up and down, trying to decide for himself if she might be having issues. She sighed, closing her eyes.

"No, I'm not depressed, just exhausted. There's a difference."

"I'm sorry tomorrow you have to take care of her on your own..." Finn said apologetically, switching topics so as not to irritate his girlfriend any further. "But school and stuff... They're already complaining about me missing these past three days."

"Well it's not like you get paternity leave," Santana offered, showing that she wasn't upset. "It's okay. I'll manage." She knew it pained him to leave her and the baby, since he hadn't left them once in the past few days.

"Then I have to go to work... But I can stop in between, make sure you're doing okay?"

"Yeah," Santana agreed, happy they could make some sort of arrangement to where Finn would be around, even if only for a short time. "Until then, let's just spend today just like this. You, me, Karlie... Nothing to do, nowhere to go..." Finn grinned, kissing the top of her head and chuckling into her hair.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

* * *

That first day home was somewhat relaxing... It was a comfort to be in familiar surroundings and even better that there was no one around to bother them for the better part of the day, Santana's parents not home until late and Carole and Kurt stopping by only briefly to check that they were doing okay and to love on Karlie a bit.

Left to their own devices, the pair set into a comfortable routine: Karlie ate every three hours, almost on the clock, and they took turns changing her and burping her. Finn gamely took on even dirty diapers, which pleased Santana greatly.  
When her needs were met, they laid Karlie between them on Santana's bed and just watched her, Santana dozing off for an hour or so at a time as Finn looked on, more than content to observe each of their features in turn as they slept. He was probably the only one to think that the baby actually looked like Santana more than him; it was pretty obvious when they were both so still and peaceful.

Just when he would start to zone out, lost in the curves of their cheeks or the length of their eyelashes, the baby would start to stir, mewling for her food. Santana would awaken instantly, although groggily, and bring herself to a sitting position so that she could feed her daughter. She was kind of amused at how into the whole process Finn was, as he attempted to "help" as much as he could. Admittedly he didn't really do much, looking on more than anything, but he was more than happy to coach from the sidelines.

"Is she latched on right?"

"Feels like it."

"Well can she breathe?"

"Finn."

"Seriously, you could smother her with her boob or something."

"She's still eating, and she's moving, and she's looking up at me. I think she's fine." Santana tried to keep the edge out of her voice, but she was tired, and Finn was starting to get annoying. Remembering the fact that he was just as new to this as she was, she swallowed the scathing words she wanted to spew forth. If she wasn't the one physically feeding Karlie, she'd be concerned, too, but she wasn't sure what she could do to make Finn feel more involved.

"Do you want to do this with me?" she asked lightly, an idea coming into mind.

"How?"

"Just get behind me, and I'll sit with my back to your chest. Then you can watch and if it makes you feel better, you can pretend you have boobs for a little bit."

"That doesn't make me feel better because I don't want boobs, and thank you for the veiled gay joke, which I thought we were past, but the rest of it works," Finn said, his voice dripping with sarcasm but his expression cheerful.

"You don't even want my boobs? They're great boobs," she goaded, continuing her teasing. He laughed hesitantly and rolled his eyes, getting into position behind her.

"It's tripping me out," Finn said after a few seconds, and he scooted away, leaving Santana looking after him with a raised eyebrow.

"What is?"

"I actually pretended to have boobs for a second, and it was too much. Far too much." Finn shook his head at himself, hands reaching to grab for his pecs as if making sure they hadn't swelled suddenly. Santana looked back to the baby and sighed heavily, a slight shake of her head.

"I'm going to just go on living my life like you never said that."

* * *

Morning came of Finn's first day back to school since Santana had gone into labor, leaving the new mother home alone for the first time with her daughter.

Santana sighed and settled down onto her bed, laying on her stomach. It felt weird to be able to do that after so long, to not have her baby bump. Karlie was in her crib in the corner of Santana's bedroom, sleeping blissfully, as she had been for a few hours. Santana knew it'd be a matter of minutes before the tiny baby woke up and started howling. She still didn't understand how such a small being could make such a racket, all over food. Well, knowing her own penchant for breadsticks, she kind of did. But for now she relished the quiet.

The girls from Glee Club had just been over visiting before heading to school, taking her attention and requiring her to speak and interact with them during a time when she knew she probably should have been sleeping, something she literally almost never got to do.

Instead she had listened to them coo over the baby and fielded questions about the birth ("Didn't that, like, totally suck?"). They had talked vaguely about her return to school, although Santana wasn't sure when she would come back quite yet. She dreaded it, but she dreaded staying home far more.

The baby started crying, like Santana knew she would, and Santana rolled off her bed and went over to her crib. Reaching for the infant, she realized how much she looked like Finn when she cried.

Before the baby started crying harder, Santana lifted her gingerly from the crib and held her against her chest. She sat back down on the bed with her and started to feed her. It was still painful, and she wasn't sure it was really working, but the baby seemed to be doing okay, so she persisted. The baby was hardly patient though, and started to wail whenever Santana had to stop so she could change positions.

Then, of course, she just wouldn't stop. Santana ran through the mental list of things to check: was she dirty? Too cold? Too warm? Was something hurting her? Did she have to burp? Was she still hungry? One by one she explored these options, changing her diaper, deciding the temperature was fine, nothing was causing her pain, and she wouldn't eat so she musn't be hungry.

No matter what Santana did, the baby continued to cry and scream, through bouncing, singing, and pacing.

"Seriously! Stop crying, or I'm going to poke you in the soft spot," Santana hissed, unable to help herself from a vocal dig.

Naturally that did nothing, so Santana prayed her mother would come to her aid, or even her dad, anyone who knew what they were doing when it came to babies. She sure as hell had no clue right now, eternal crying not covered by most any book or and those classes proving almost useless in this aspect.

But no one came. She remembered that her parents were at work (too busy to stay with her on her first day at home with the new baby) and her brother of course was at school. Finally she put down the screaming infant in the middle of her bed and picked up her cell phone, the feelings of frustration too great to ignore now. She texted Quinn, asking her to come quickly. She tossed the phone onto her nightstand and picked up the baby again, resuming her efforts, over exaggerating her completely faked happiness in order to reassure the baby that everything was okay.

"Hey, Karlie, look... Mommy's happy! She's so happy, she can't stop smiling! Now you should cut the shit, and be a good girl! That would make Mommy even happier!" she chirped, unable to feel bad for her choice of words because god damn it that sound was driving her _insane_.

This recieved the same reaction as her earlier attempts at calming her, which was just more crying.

"Please, come on. I'm new at this! I don't have any idea what is wrong with you," Santana pleaded, tears forming in her eyes from frustration and failure.

"Santana?" Quinn called urgently, as she let herself into the Lopez house. Santana got off the bed and sniffed, wiping her eyes. Still holding Karlie she headed downstairs, meeting her friend in the livingroom. "What's the matter?" Quinn's arms reached for the squalling baby automatically, and Santana willingly passed her off.

"I have no idea," Santana said, feeling kind of lame. But she didn't know, did she?

Quinn was bouncing the baby and cooing at her, stroking her dark hair tenderly. She made little _hush hush_ noises, and kissed the baby's head every few seconds. Santana just sat down on the couch and watched, too drained to really care or put up much of an effort now that someone else had come along to help her. She watched as Quinn was able to calm Karlie, and couldn't help but feel completely awed.

"Wow, Quinn."

"What?" Quinn asked her, not looking up from the baby's face, which was now calm and relaxed. Quinn's face mirrored the baby's almost exactly, serene and tranquil as she still cooed and made little noises at her.

"You, with her. I can't get her to shut up for two seconds and you walk in here and she is just calm as can be." Quinn scowled at Santana.

"Well for starters did you tell her to shut up?" she said, and the little smirk that followed let Santana know she was teasing.

"If I'd thought it would help, I would have," Santana admitted freely. "I just am no good with babies, especially my own. I thought we were doing well at the hospital, and yesterday was okay..." Santana dropped off, more tears coming and falling from her eyes, which she briskly brushed away.

Quinn tisked, and bounced the baby a little more. She gave Santana a sympathetic look.

"It'll come. You're still getting used to each other. Give yourself some more time." Santana nodded, not knowing what else to say on the matter. She watched Quinn's face carefully as she stared at Karlie with loving eyes, smiling, and knew she was wishing this was what she could have had with her own daughter, even briefly.

"You would have been great at being a mommy, Quinn," Santana told her in a barely audible whisper, not wanting to really broach the subject but feeling like she might be obligated to, if not now, then eventually. Quinn's eyes remained on the baby, but she smiled sadly and nodded in response.

"One day I will be," she replied in a voice just as soft as Santana's had been. Santana got up from her seat and stood by her friend, one hand on Quinn's shoulder and the other moving a tiny whisp of hair off of Karlie's forehead.

"In the meantime," she started to say slowly, "Could you help me? You know, with this mom thing." Quinn looked at her with a genuine smile.

"Of course." She turned back to the baby and grinned. "She really is beautiful."

"She is pretty," replied Santana, taking the time to look over the infant's features. Her heart fluttered when the baby's tiny eyes seemed to fix on hers, and she couldn't help but feel happy.

Even though she hadn't had the instant bond that all of the other mothers she knew spoke of, and this was only one of the handfuls of times she'd felt warm feelings towards her daughter that weren't elicited by the actual event of her birth or being pleased with Finn's interactions with her, she was lucky. It was terrifying, it was nerve wracking, but so many people would give anything for what she had, to be holding a baby in their arms and getting the chance to love and care for it.

"I want to be good at this," Santana said slowly, sneaking a quick glance at the blonde.

"You will be. I know you, Santana," Quinn assured, her head resting against Santana's forehead as they both stared at the baby. "And if not, at least Finn seems like a good dad," she joked, chuckling a little.

"He is though; he's great with her," Santana said with a smile, thinking of how she was sure he almost cried leaving for school this morning.

"And how is he with you?" Quinn questioned, the closest she'd ever gotten to asking Santana how she felt now that she was Finn. For some reason this was just an unspoken pact... He was Quinn's ex, after all, and even though he was with Santana and they had a baby together, Santana didn't press the issue. She had Brittany to talk to about Finn things, though really there wasn't much to talk about, the couple too busy with becoming and now being parents to really focus on their relationship.

"Also great. He can be annoying, but..."

"He's Finn," Quinn finished, laughing again. "I know what you mean. But you're lucky to have him."

"I really am. And I'm lucky to have you. Thanks for coming over here... Don't you need to go back to school though? Are they going to be pissy you're cutting?"

"Unfortunately," Quinn answered with a wrinkle of her nose. "You can take it from here." With that Quinn passed the baby back to Santana, who was more than relieved that she was calmed and quieted and took Karlie eagerly.

Once she'd seen Quinn out, she wandered back into the living room and sat on the floor, Karlie laid on the carpet in front of her. She leaned over the baby, staring down at her while Karlie stared up, her eyes starting to droop.

"I'd be tired too if I'd made such a big fuss over nothing," Santana said softly, though her tone was kind. "Let's make a deal. You don't do that again, and I won't sell you to the circus. Deal?"

As if she was actually understanding and replying, Karlie opened and closed her mouth, causing Santana to smile and _aww_ outloud. It was basically nothing but for some reason it made Santana feel happy and oddly gooey inside.

"Glad we have an understanding."


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Okay! I've gotten a lot of input and I've made my decision... This story will go on for a few more chapters. I have a basic idea of what we need to see before this can end. And then we'll move on to a sequel.**

**However, there's a new catch that I hope will make everyone happy: It will be set in the future, but will contain flashbacks to major milestones and firsts... Don't ask why or how but you'll see. That way everyone kind of gets what they want. How's that?**

**Now this chapter I'm not happy with at all, but I wanted this out of the way. The next chapter we'll see Santana back at school and the Glee Club interact with Karlie, which I know some of you are looking forward to. **

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By the third week Karlie was home, Santana was exhausted. She'd had a long and ridiculous labor, had little rest at the hospital, and now during the day and late nights she was Karlie's sole careprovider. Between diapers, feedings that took forever because the baby was a pokey eater, cuddling, crying, laundry, bathing (which was absolutely terrifying at first), pacing, cooing, trying to feed herself, changing her shirt and bra what seemed like every hour because she was leaking _everywhere_, and holding Karlie while she slept because every time she put her down she would wake screaming, there was _no time_ for sleep.

Finn couldn't be there as much as he wanted since he had school and work, but he was there when he was able. That night when he got off of work he walked in on Santana sleeping on the bathroom floor in a towel (having attempted a shower) and the baby hungry in her crib.

After rousing Santana, he decided he had to do something. Santana was worn out, and if she was falling asleep on the floor, it was bad. While he helped her back to her room and got her started on feeding their daughter, he asked that Santana come and stay with him at the Hummel household, where he could take over when he was home and his mother and even Burt would be willing to watch the baby so that Santana could attempt to get some halfway decent sleep. He assured her it would only be for a few days if she wanted, not sure how she'd react to being relocated.

However, Santana could have cried she was so happy to hear the news, and being a giant mess of hormones she did, thanking Finn profusely for thinking of this.

With a call to her mother, Santana packed up for a three day stay and Finn drove her and the baby to his house. As soon as they arrived, Santana said good night to everyone, heading to the room Burt had built for her and Karlie to sleep, not caring if it was only six in the evening. She'd written out a list of what to and what not to do as far as she knew anyway, and figured Finn could handle the rest.

She'd left Finn alone with the baby for less than five minutes before she could hear Karlie wailing. When it didn't stop, she rolled over in her bed listlessly, debating on whether or not she really wanted to deal with the baby right now or if she should let her cry it out at Finn's expense. When the crying intensified, she caved. She heaved herself out of the bed with a little unhappy _oooph_. She waited at the bottom of the stairs, and looked on at the scene unfolding in the Hummel livingroom.

Finn was clearly unhappy as he tried to comfort his daughter rocking to and fro as the baby screamed. Carole stood by coaching him to little avail.

"Honey, just bounce her a little," she suggested, making the motion herself. Santana could see she was doing everything in her power not to just snatch her granddaughter from her less than adept son, and admired her for trying to let Finn do it on his own. She almost turned back up the stairs when Finn spotted her.

"Santana! Thank God! Can you take her?" he asked, and she could tell he was sorry for asking, since he had all but begged her to come here under the promise of being able to rest. She knew what he felt like, how it was to not be able to calm your own child. Not that she was any better at it, but she'd felt in the baby's four days of life she might have picked up _something_. Finn was missing out on most of the chances to really get to know his daughter, something that would make it infinitely easier to handle her. Well she'd just have to take this opportunity as it was presented to her to teach him... What she knew, anyway.

Santana shook her head no, instead gently leading him to the couch and urging him to sit down with a quick flash of her eyes. Finn sat but frowned heavily, holding the baby out for her to take.

"I'm not doing it," Santana said curtly. "You are. You have to learn, Finn." She wasn't trying to be harsh, but she also wasn't about to play hot potato with the crying baby.

Carole watched the two of them, biting her lip, still wanting nothing more than to swoop in and _save _the baby. Santana ignored her concerned stares for the time being.

"Hold her on your chest," she instructed, sitting on the arm of the couch next to Finn. She made sure she was just far enough away so that he couldn't try and slip her the baby, but still close enough she could help him.

He did what he was told hesitantly, placing the baby on her stomach in the middle of his broad chest as she carried on squalling. Santana fixed his hands so that one rested on the baby's back and the other laid over her diaper.

"Now pat her butt," she told him. When he looked at her oddly she just raised her eyebrows. "Go on." Feeling a little foolish he began to pat her bottom. Santana sighed; just from the sound she could tell he was doing it too softly.

"That's not doing anything. A little harder."

"I don't want to break her Santana!" he exclaimed, eyes wide. "She's so tiny!"

"Just do it," Santana ordered, leaning back a little when Finn moved as if to shift the baby into her arms. A warning look told him not to even try it.

He debated for a few seconds before doing as suggested, patting the baby a little harder than he felt comfortable doing.

"Keep going."

And sure enough, within a minute, Karlie's cries died down and she was fast asleep on her father's chest. Finn turned to Santana and beamed with accomplishment.

"I did it! That really worked..." He didn't bother to try and mask the astonishment he felt. Santana smiled and nodded, slipping off the arm of the couch and standing.

"You did good. I'm going back to bed now." Looking down at her soaked shirt, she sighed wearily. "After I change my shirt. Again." Finn tried to keep the fact that he was severely grossed out by her seemingly random expression of breast milk from showing, but was unsuccessful. Santana ignored it, not caring at the moment, knowing a bed was waiting for her just up those stairs. A baby free bed.

"Go change honey, and get some rest," Carole urged, and Santana allowed herself to be lead back towards the stairs. "I'll get some dinner going for us grown ups and by the time that's done you'll have had a bit of a nap."

Santana merely nodded, dragging herself up the stairs. She quickly changed, not even bothering with a new bra, and as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out cold.

When she awoke, it was pitch black outside. Sitting up hurriedly, she searched the bed for Karlie, and then remembering where she was she sighed with relief. Finn had the baby, she didn't lose her in her sleep. Although now she could add that to the list of things to constantly worry about.

She furrowed her brow when she looked at the clock, seeing that it was almost midnight. Surely Karlie would have eaten by now. She herself was starving. Heaving herself from the bed she made her way downstairs, creeping slowly because all of the lights were off.

Suddenly she was scared, thinking something must of happened, that they had all gone to the ER with the baby and just forgotten to wake her. She sped up her pace, almost thundering down the stairs. But there in the living room, the TV was on, casting a soft glow around the large room. Burt was sitting in a recliner, Karlie laying sprawled across his lap on a pink fuzzy blanket, and he was staring down at her, just watching her sleep with a smile on his face.

"Hey Santana," Burt said without looking up. Santana came over to them and sat on the floor, reaching a hand to stroke Karlie's cheek. Again she found herself relieved, finding everything was fine and actually kind of peaceful.

"Hi." She hadn't been alone with Burt... Well... ever. But for some reason this wasn't uncomfortable, both of them watching Karlie sleep.

"There's some dinner for you in the microwave if you're hungry," he offered, looking up just in time to see Santana's face light up. Food. Hot food.

"Thanks... But why didn't anyone come get me earlier? How is she not crying up a storm?" she asked, getting to her feet but still leaning over her daughter, feeling her to see if she might have a temperature or was ill somehow.

"Finn took her up to you a couple times, said you slept through the feedings," Burt explained with a chuckle. When Santana furrowed a brow he just shook his head at her, smiling slightly. "My first wife did that with Kurt. She was in such a daze, but it still came naturally to her. Like for you. You seem to be doing a great job, kiddo."

"She's alive," Santana conceded, chuckling herself. She couldn't believe she slept through feeding Karlie... But that in itself was a blessing; she hadn't been wakened from her very much needed sleep. Finn must have had the right idea coming here.

"I think that's the point in all of this," Burt said jokingly. "Go on and go eat, I've got her."

Seeing that this was indeed true, Santana got up, leaving the two alone for a second as she wandered into the Hummel's huge kitchen, returning once she'd heated her food up and fixed herself a large glass of water.

"Make sure you eat all of that, or Carole will throw a fit," Burt teased as she sat down on the couch, curling on the edge so she could be close to her daughter.

She missed her, as odd as that seemed, considering they were less than a hundred feet apart for days now. She ate hurriedly, finding herself starving, all the while watching Burt with her daughter. He must have known she was observing, because he turned his head and settled his gaze on her face.

"You know, not that I'm completely happy about this situation, but, I have to tell ya, Santana..."

She stopped chewing, having froze from being caught staring and then being addressed with what seemed like an ominous lead in.

"Yes?"

"I never thought I'd get to have this. When Kurt told me, about you know... being... The way he is..." Santana could tell he was struggling for the PC way to say "gay", she almost laughed, but she could tell he was being serious so she didn't, instead swallowing her bite of food and nodding carefully.

"I was pretty scared I'd never get to hold a grandbaby in my arms. You know I think of Finn as a son," Burt said firmly, and she nodded again, showing she understood. "I know he might not consider me his father figure, but I think the world of that kid. And I consider Karlie family just as much as I do him."

"I know," Santana said quickly. "I think of you as Karlie's family too."

"Well you know if Finn's my family, and Karlie's my family, you're stuck with me, too," he said with a laugh. Santana chuckled at this. Kurt Hummel's father, her family. This was just insane, but also felt completely plausable and right at the same time.

"That's cool."

"And if you ever need anything, you can come to me. I'll try to help you out as much as I'm able."

"Thanks, Burt," Santana said with a smile. Burt smiled as he turned his attention back to Karlie, and the two resumed their mutual silence. Footsteps on the stairs revealed Carole in a robe, slowly shuffling over to them in a sleepy daze.

"Hey you three," she greeted softly, smiling and sitting on the arm of Burt's recliner. After patting Karlie and giving Burt a rather loving look, she nodded to Santana and her food. "There's more where that came from if you're still hungry, honey. Are you feeling a little better? Finn said you'd been having a hard time."

"I feel better, yes. I just needed some good sleep I think." Truthfully now she could think clearer, and she was definitely feeling a lot more alert. She kind of wished Finn was awake so she could talk to him, or that Brittany was up so she could call her. That little bit of sleep seemed to go a long way.

"I love her," Carole said suddenly, her outburst causing Burt to raise his eyebrow at his wife, though he wasn't going to disagree, feeling the same way she did. Carole shrugged, looking down at the baby. "I love this little girl, Santana. She's a real doll."

"I might let you take this dolly here so I can get some shut eye. Goodnight ladies," Burt said with a little yawn, handing the baby to Carole and then getting up so she could take her spot. He kissed Karlie on the head. "Night, sweetpea."

After he had trundled up the stairs, Carole cleared her throat, looking at Santana hesitantly. Santana coughed, unsure of why the mood had shifted. She could tell Carole was going to say something, though she wasn't exactly sure what.

"You're doing really well, Santana," Carole said after a length, gesturing towards the baby, who was slowly starting to stir, her mouth working in anticipation for her next meal. "Can I talk to you about something without creeping you out?"

"Well when you put it like that..." Santana teased, setting her fork down on her plate and putting it on the end table. Carole looked serious, so she dropped her smile and nodded reverently. "Of course."

"I'm surprised at all of this," Carole started, waving a hand at Karlie and her. "I was worried when Finn told me... I was more than worried, I was distraught. I had no idea how my son was going to cope with something so grown up. When we thought Quinn was having his baby, my mind was a mess. And when that turned out to not be true, I can't tell you how relieved I was. So you can imagine how upset I was when I found out you were pregnant."

Santana nodded, though she kept the rest of her body very still, slightly scared at the moment. There weren't a lot of good places this track of conversation could lead, and she thought they were all getting along rather well.

"I've tried to give Finn every chance to succeed in life, and this just wasn't in the plans... I expected more from my son. Like I'm sure your parents expected more from you. I didn't really expect you both to really step up like you have. And I know this isn't ideal, for anyone right now... But I don't think I've ever been more proud." Carole was smiling now, her eyes a little teary even, catching Santana completely off guard.

"And I know it's kind of early to be saying anything, but you guys are handling this better than most married couples would. Finn is growing up, and he's becoming more responsible, and it's because of you and this baby. I think you're making him more of a man than I ever could."

"I... I'm not sure what to say..." Santana said truthfully. She hadn't looked at the situation like that, though she could see where Carole would get that from. Carole chuckled lightly, brushing at her eyes.

"Finn used to come home from school and hide out in his room playing Halo 3 all night. His whole life was football and Glee and himself... Now his whole life is this little girl, and taking care of his responsibilities and the two people he loves and cares for most. I'm sad he can't be that carefree teenager any more, but at the same time, he's doing exactly what I know he should be doing."

"And I was worried about you, too. I hadn't heard too many good things... And our first meeting was a little interesting, to say the least..." Carole raised an eyebrow at Santana. Santana blushed, remembering how Brittany had revealed Santana's primary rule, which was that sex wasn't dating. Something she surely didn't need or want to know. Could she really be holding that against her still? Carole's face softened.

"But I was wrong. You're taking on this mothering thing full force... I know right now you're tired, you're stressed, you're probably second guessing your decision a lot, aren't you?"

Santana nodded quickly, surprised at her insight. It was hard being a mom, and it wasn't exactly fun at all. She missed school, she missed her friends, she missed sleep, warm food, long showers, all these things that were just not possible right now with a new baby.

"It's worth it. I promise in the end it's worth it. When you see your baby growing, doing things you never expected them to do... It's worth it." Carole seemed so sure of this that Santana believed her automatically, a slow smile creeping over her face.

"Thank you, Carole..." Santana said softly. "I really appreciate that."

"Of course, honey." Carole stood, shifting the baby into Santana's arms and giving Santana a kiss on her forehead. "I'm going to head back to bed, if you don't mind just shutting the TV off before you head upstairs?"

"No problem."

Reunited with her daughter, Santana sighed contentedly. Sure the timing was wrong seeing as it was in the middle of the night, but she was partially rested, her hunger and thirst satiated at the same time for the first time since the baby was born. She'd had odd but rather nice conversations with both of Finn's parents... It was nice knowing they felt that way, although compliments were not her strongest suit, and Santana's heart was more than happy knowing that Karlie had grandparents who loved her so much. Her own parents weren't around too often, but when they were, they were very open with their affection for their granddaughter.

Karlie started mewling softly and as a pre-emptive strike, Santana got ready to feed her, cradling her close. The baby nuzzled against her chest and after a few seconds latched, causing Santana to wince slightly.

"Good grip there, baby girl," Santana noted, dipping her head to brush her lips across Karlie's dark and ever thickening hair, taking in a big breath of air as she did so. The baby smelled of a mixture of Santana and what took her a few seconds to realize was Finn's scent, which while new was comforting. She'd have to ask him how his alone time went with her in the morning, though what she suspected went on made her laugh to herself.

A new thing as Karlie grew was that she was awake more often... Now being one of those times. She was staring up at Santana (or what was being percieved as "at" her, though was in reality probably just the general area of her face, but Santana counted it) and Santana couldn't help but get lost in those dark pools. Her eyes, definitely, if nothing else.

Watching her daughter contentedly eat, Santana smiled. Carole was right; it was already worth it. It was worth all of this and so much more.


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: Totally not trying to be a dick about updating, I promise. I'm falling into one of those uninspired slumps again, and it's really unfortunate. Is there anything in particular you guys want to see? I can't say it will happen for sure but you might spark the inspiration again, so if you got anything, throw it out there. **

"What if I wake her up?" Brittany asked nervously, eyeing the baby sleeping in the crib warily.

Santana shook her head and pulled a onesie out of a drawer, tossing it onto the bed with the rest of Karlie's outfit for the day. She herself was already dressed, a miracle, and now with Brittany's help they were soon going to be on their way to drop Karlie off with Carole and head to school for Santana's first day back. She was more excited than she cared to admit, but four weeks away from her friends and school was about all she could handle.

"She won't. She's sleeping like a rock. Just bring her to me."

Brittany shuffled and hemmed and hawed about the best way to go about picking up the infant for a solid minute before she finally picked her up gingerly, and nuzzled the baby to her chest, leaning back so as not to keep the baby upright.

"I guess she is out..." Brittany commented in a whisper. Santana smiled as Brittany handed her daughter over, very slowly and carefully.

"See, you did it," Santana exclaimed happily as soon as the baby was in her arms. Brittany shrugged a little and sat down on the edge of the bed, watching as Santana skillfully slipped the pajamas off of her daughter and tugged on the onesie without waking her.

"It wasn't that hard," Brittany admitted. "I could have dropped her and she probably wouldn't have woken up."

Santana shot her a look and frowned, putting tiny baby pants on Karlie and sitting her up, holding her just so, so that she could get her shirt onto her.

"Please don't try that."

"I'm excited for you to come back to school!" Brittany chirped happily, beaming at her best friend. "I was getting lonely without you."

"How were you lonely? You had Quinn and all the Glee people."

"Well it's not the same," Brittany insisted, her arms folding over her chest. "And no one laughs at my stories."

"So you need me for an ego boost, right?" Santana chuckled, finally finished dressing Karlie. She checked her diaper bag to make sure she had everything she needed, and then handed it to Brittany.

"No I just really want to be funny and I'm only funny with you."

"Makes sense."

The pair trundled down the stairs, Santana with the baby and her back pack, and Brittany with the diaper bag and her own bag slung over her shoulder. Together they got everything into the car, and the drop off at the Hummel's was relatively pain free, Santana kissing Karlie several times before finally being dragged back to her still running car by Brittany, who was intent to not be late because for some reason the Glee club was singing the announcements this week. Finn followed behind in his own car, and when they arrived at school, Brittany hurried Santana along so fast that she barely had time to throw a quick wave back at him before she lost sight of him in the throng of bustling students.

Brittany didn't lead them through fast enough to where Santana didn't notice the abundance of stares in her direction, though. She was kidding herself if she thought people would let her return go by unnoticed, but it didn't really matter. Being nine months pregnant waddling around school had definitely desensitized her to unwanted attention.

Deciding to ignore the gawking, she carried on, allowing Brittany to tug her into the office, where most of the Glee Club was already waiting, all of them smiling and waving at her, but silent, motioning to where Tina was standing with a mic, speaking into it semi-seductively. It took a few moments for Santana to realize she wasn't in a phone-dating service commercial, but reading today's lunch menu. Brittany bounced up and down beside her, though she stayed perfectly silent. Santana was confused and was about to whisper something when Finn came in and snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Hey," she said softly, turning her head slightly and pecking him on the lips. Brittany automatically glared at her, and she made a zipping motion to show she would respect the quiet as her best friend wanted her to. Finn squeezed her and she pressed closer, happy to see him. They rarely had any time together, but she was hoping now that she was back at school they could at least have one decent conversation a day now. She sighed and turned her attention back to Tina, who was still speaking in that seductive tone that made her want to laugh at the entire scenario. But at least lunch was sounding super sexy today.

"And now we'll be passing the mic to Cheerio Brittany Pierce, who'll be summing up last night's basketball game against North Decatur..." Tina didn't even bother looking, holding the mic out to Brittany, who swallowed and then smiled enthusiastically, though no one else besides the people in the room could see her.

"We lost!"

"And there you have it, folks," Tina said, bringing the mic back to her mouth. "Those are your morning announcements for McKinley High, from the McKinley Glee Club." She pulled back from the mic and everyone else gathered quickly around, and Santana was visibly lost as the others watched Rachel, who was cuing them with a silent countdown from three. As she got to one and nodded her head, they all sang in a light jingly manner.

"Making morning announcements a little more fun, now head on to class and get 'er done!"

"That needs some work," Santana said as soon as the red light on the mic went off, and she could not help but laugh.

"It's all we could come up with," Mercedes added with a shrug. "Mr. Schue veto'd our other, and might I add, more _flavorful_ ideas."

"We've been over this. You can't say "chocolate sexy times" over the school intercom," Mr. Schue said defensively, throwing his hands in the air. Mercedes rolled her eyes, and a few of the others chuckled. Mr. Schue frowned and then let his happy face resume. "Let's all get going, alright guys?" He smiled at Santana and gave her a thumbs up. "Can't wait to have you back in Glee club Santana!"

Classes were boring as usual, time away hadn't changed that. She was happy to find that she'd kept up pretty well despite being sleep and time deprived, and her teachers seemed relieved. The more the day wore on the less people seemed to be staring, she noticed. Well she wasn't really doing anything to stare at, it's not like she had her daughter tied to her hip. She did have to hole herself up in the bathroom to pump breast milk, but other than that blip, here there were no outward signs that she had a baby at home.

Carole texted her throughout the day with little anecdotes about what the baby was up to, and to be expected there wasn't much, but each made her smile and the thought of her daughter having as good of a day as she was made leaving her for the first time so much easier. To everyone's relief, Karlie was taking fine to a bottle, something Santana had only attempted a few times at home but was obviously the only way Carole could feed her.

Lunch was the first time she was able to really speak to Finn, and they sat off in a corner by themselves, everyone seeming to understand that they needed some time alone. Santana picked at her food as she watched Finn devour his, and gave a chuckle at the comfortable silence they had fallen into.

"What?" he asked her, looking around. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, it's not that," Santana reassured. "It's just funny. This is the first time we've had any time to ourselves, and we're not even talking."

"We're talking now," Finn said slowly, and Santana sucked her teeth in thought, moving a carrot across her plate with her fork. She couldn't really think of anything to say.

"What have you done today?"

"Well, I've been in class all day, so I guess I was learning." He saw how that seemed uninspiring, watching Santana purse her lips. "Sorry, it's just a boring day. What about you? How's the first day back? Anyone hassling you?"

"It's going well. And no, no one's hassling me. It's been very uneventful," she replied. She felt her phone buzz and dug it out of her pocket. She flicked her eyes up to Finn's quickly. "It's your mom." She opened her phone and was pleased to see she had a picture message from Carole, her daughter's face prominent on the screen. "Aww oh my god! Look! Karlie smiled!" Santana brandished her phone in Finn's face, unable to stop from grinning madly at this milestone. The corner's of Finn's mouth automatically uplifted, and he took the phone from her to get a closer look.

"She is so friggin' cute," Finn exclaimed, his own smile mirroring his daughter's, looking over it once more before handing the phone back to Santana.

"It's so weird that she's smiling; it's like she's really a little person in there or something," Santana said, reluctantly putting her phone back into her pocket.

"Pretty soon she'll be holding her head by herself and making those baby noises at us," Finn added, still not able to wipe the grin from his face.

"I know and then she'll be sitting up and playing with us, and laughing. Can you imagine when she laughs?" Santana asked excitedly, and Finn's eyes widened.

"Good god she'll be a real person then!"

"That's so scary and awesome at the same time," Santana mused, the prospect of their daughter growing and getting older a fascinating thing.

"Mom said she's doing the bottle thing okay. How're your portable bottles doing today on their break?" Finn joked, his eyes lighting up as they flicked to Santana's still swollen breasts. Santana rolled her eyes and sighed.

"They're enjoying the time off but not so much the pumping."

"All we talk about are your boobs and the baby," Finn said reflectively drinking from his carton of juice.

"Is that a bad thing?" Santana asked carefully, trying to sense where Finn was going with this.

She knew she hadn't been being the best girlfriend, since they barely had time to _speak_ let alone anything else with everything that was going on in their lives. But how could they? They were prioritizing everything exactly right... It just turned out their relationship as a dating couple wasn't on the top of the list right now. And that was okay. Eventually things would settle down and they could work on themselves as a couple, but it just wouldn't be soon.

When she told him this, as nicely as she could, he seemed to agree, nodding his head amicably.

"I know. I still love you, you know," he said watching her very carefully. She smiled and leaned across the table, capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

"I still love you, too, you nerd," she replied with a chuckle. Just then the bell rang, and Santana sighed. "I guess I'll see you in Glee Club."

In her second to last period, Santana got a text from Carole, saying she had a hair appointment at four and was making sure that Santana would be home in time for her to leave a little early. She quickly realized that she'd forgotten to mention Glee Club to Finn's mom, which today was being held after school. Santana frowned. She had been waiting all day for Glee, and now she would probably have to miss it. Venting to Brittany via discreetly passed notes, the blonde had her own idea, approaching Santana after class as they walked to their lockers together, pinkies linked.

"Just have Mrs. Hummel bring her here. I don't think Mr. Schue would care, if it was just this one time."

Santana hemmed and hawwed over the choice for a few seconds, and eventually decided that it would just have to do. She really didn't want to miss Glee Club, at least not her first chance to actually go in a month. She was sure Mr. Schue would be okay with it. It's not like she planned on bringing Karlie every time.

"Good idea, Britt."

"I'm not only _funny_ when you're around, I'm also super smart," Brittany said with a wink, and Santana laughed, bumping Brittany's shoulder with her own and squeezing her pinky.

"I've missed you so much, like you don't even know."

"But I do know; I can tell," Brittany replied matter of factly. Santana took it for what that was worth, and quickly texted Carole to propose her solution. Carole was fine with it, and since Finn had a study hall last period, he could leave a little earlier to get Karlie from her and then they would meet up in Glee Club. Crisis averted.

As they walked to Glee Club later on, Santana could tell Finn had already made it to the choir room from the mewling that could be clearly heard in the hallway. When they walked in, Santana could not help but laugh at the sight that met her eyes. Finn was sitting on the floor with Karlie, and she was laid out on two blankets in front of him. Mike was laying alongside her, and the baby was peering at him curiously as Mike did the same. Tina too was sitting on the floor, alongside Kurt and Mercedes. Quinn hadn't gotten there yet and Artie was off in the distance. Rachel was prepping sheet music, seeming slightly ruffled by such a distraction but Santana could tell she was trying to be a good sport.

She and Brittany walked over and Santana stooped down, lightly smoothing the hair on Karlie's head down.

"Mommy missed you! How're you, baby girl? Are you having fun with Uncle Mike?"

"I've been Jedi mind tricking her this entire time," Mike said slowly, his eyes never breaking away from the baby's. "She hasn't cried once yet because of it."

"She's probably wondering why her Uncle Mike has a creeper stare," Tina joked.

"That or she's just a happy baby," Quinn chimed in, coming into the room a few seconds after Brittany and Santana.

"You're all lucky you don't have to hear her at night. She turns into satan I'm pretty sure," Santana remarked, though she said it lovingly.

"Like mother like daughter," Mercedes joked, and everyone laughed along. Pretty soon Puck and Matt sauntered in, Puck pushing in Artie, and Mr. Schue as always was late but arrived with much excitement.

"Alright guys, we won our sectionals, and now it's time to focus on regionals. Now I've been giving this a lot of thought and I think that..." Mr. Schue trailed off as he saw what had half of his Glee Club preoccupied. Suddenly his face broke out into an even bigger grin. "Is that little Miss Hudson?"

"Certainly is," Finn said proudly, and Mr. Schue came over to squat down by the baby's blanket.

"She's beautiful, guys. But what's the occassion?" he asked, looking at Finn and Santana in turn.

"It's just this once Mr. Schue, we had a scheduling conflict..." Santana explained, trying to make it not seem like a big deal.

"Not a problem. Let's not make it a regular thing, but every once in awhile is not a big deal. Music is good for babies, but I don't want you guys to be distracted from what you need to be doing while you're here."

"Yes, Mr. Schue," Finn answered.

"Alright, let's talk about what we want to do for regionals."

"Wait, Mr. Schue, I had something I wanted to say. Well, sing. You know how it is in here," Rachel said, interrupting their teacher before he could really get started. Mr. Schue nodded, and smiled tightly.

"Of course, Rachel."

"Ladies?"

Santana should have known she wasn't going to come back to Glee without some sort of song being sung... But it didn't bother her, not in the least. She picked Karlie up and sat her in the crook of one of her bent legs so that there was room for the girls to sit down around her.

They gathered around Santana and Karlie, each girl staring adoringly at the infant, smiles glued on every face. They sat down on the floor in a small mass, huddled together, edging Mike and Finn away so that it was just the girls around the mother daughter pair. Quinn and Santana smiled lovingly at each other, and before the music cued Brittany looped her arm with Santana's, gazing down at the baby in Santana's arms. Softly Quinn started singing.

_"May the angels protect you, trouble neglect you, and heaven accept you when it's time to come home."  
_

_"May you always have plenty, your glass never empty, know in your belly, you're never alone," _joined in Rachel. _  
_

_"May your tears come from laughing, you find friends worth having, with every year passing, they mean more than gold," _came Mercedes' part. And then Tina:_  
_

_"May you win, but stay humble, smile more than grumble, and know when you stumble, you're never alone."  
_

_"Never alone, never alone, I'll be in every beat of your heart as you face the unknown. Wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye. My love will follow you, stay with you, baby you're never alone." _Brittany's soft falsetto surprised even herself. _  
_

_"Well I have to be honest, as much as I want it, I'm not gonna promise the cold winds won't blow," _Mercedes sang again._  
_

_"So when hard times have found you, and your fear surrounds you, wrap my love around you, you're never alone," _Quinncouldn't help but reach out and touch the baby's hand, which instantly curled around her pinky finger._  
_

_"Never alone, never alone, I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown," _Rachel again, taking Karlie's other hand in her own and kissing it gently._  
_

_"Wherever you fly, this isn't goodbye, my love will follw you, stay with you," _Brittany repeated her line one last time, before all of the girls joined in on the last lyric:_  
_

_"Baby you're never alone." _


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: Alright readers! First off, you guys win. A tip of the hat to you all! Your ideas and comments got the writing wheels greased again... And made me remember some things I wanted to do but completely forgot! You guys are awesome. As a reward, here's another chapter, and I promise to have another up by Sunday. Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Contrary to what Santana thought would be happening, it wasn't that long before Karlie attended another Glee session: two months later and at the worst possible time. Everyone was rushing to put together the school musical, the choir room a buzz with nervous energy as everyone was busy at once. They were scattered around the room, some practiced dances, some painting scenery, and some doing last minute alterations on wardrobe. They had a dress rehearsal that evening, and opening night was two days away.

Because Santana missed most days to rehearse, she was given only a small part, but still she relished her few lines and her big part of the one song that was thrown her way. She was off in the corner with Brittany, the blonde's eyes closed as she listened to Santana sing, attempting to drown out the many distractions around her. They were interuppted by Finn, who looked slightly panicked.

"Mom can't watch Karlie after five, she and Burt have dinner plans in Akron, and you know how they are with that Friday night dinner stuff," he said hurriedly, his face pinched. Santana frowned, quickly going over her mental list. Her parents were both working, her dad off in Texas. Her brothers would both be working, too. All of their friends were here.

"Well crap!" Santana exclaimed, biting her lip. She couldn't afford to miss this dress rehearsal, and she knew she'd be letting everyone down if she skipped out.

"We're going to have to have her here with us," Finn said, though he hated to say it as much as Santana hated to hear it.

"We don't really have a choice," she agreed, though it was the last thing she wanted to do. She knew first hand how hard it was to get things done with a baby around, but she really didn't have any other choice.

It wasn't long before Carole showed up with Karlie, and she held onto the infant's car seat tightly even as Finn went to take it from her. She looked around the room at all of the commotion and shook her head.

"You know what, we can skip our dinner, this doesn't look like the best time..."

"No, Mom, that's not fair. You and Burt go have your night out. We'll deal with this," Finn told her firmly, not wanting to have to have his mother rescue him from something they really should have forseen coming. Santana felt the same way, taking the carrier from Carole and slipping the diaper bag off of her arm.

"We've got it, Mrs. Hummel," she assured.

"If you're sure..." Carole seemed reluctant, but Finn and Santana urged her off.

As soon as she was gone, Finn sighed heavily.

"I've got to practice these moves," Finn said to Santana, glancing back over to where Mike and Tina were rehearsing. It didn't matter how long they'd been in Glee Club, Finn always seemed to need a lot of extra help when it came to choreography.

"You do that, I can watch her and sing at the same time."

Santana lugged the car seat over to her and Brittany's little corner, but Brittany automatically lost interest in practicing. Instead she stooped down to the floor and unbuckled Karlie, taking the infant out of her car seat.

"Hi baby! Did you come here to see Aunt Britt Britt?" she cooed, standing with ease and resting the baby in the crook of her arm. After a few minutes Santana got impatient, though she admitted she would rather be oogling over her daughter than doing this right now.

"Come on, Britt, I need to get this one note down, or else I'm going to eff it up tonight at the dress rehearsal."

Brittany sighed reluctantly, placing a gentle kiss on Karlie's forehead before adjusting herself, facing Santana, her expression set and eyes closed once again.

"Hurry because I want to play with the baby."

Santana started in on her song yet again, but she kept getting distracted as she watched her daughter in Brittany's arms, the little baby's eyes open wide and focused on her mother. While Karlie was awake more during the day now, it wasn't in long bursts and they had to take their chances to bond when they could. Right now Santana was dying to hold her baby and smile and giggle at her, eliciting the same response which had become like an instant endorphin boost to her. After a few more moments she couldn't take it anymore, groaning and almost stomping one of her feet out of frustration.

"Let me see her real quick," Santana said, and Brittany opened her eyes and passed the baby off, frowning.

"I wanted to play with her."

"Here, sit down with me."

The pair sat on a couple of chairs and Santana handed Karlie to Brittany to sit in her lap while Santana sat facing them, and they began to start a silly game that always made Karlie giggle her weird baby almost-but-not-quite baby giggle that was rather addicting.

"Hi Karlie Boo! Say ah ha ha ha ha!" Santana chirped, her ha ha's very high but a pleasant tone. The baby rewarded her with a grin, tossing her head back and forth in a wiggly effort to better control her neck muscles. She was holding her head pretty well, but she still flopped around a lot if she got too excited, making for a wobbly baby.

"Is that funny? Is that funny to you?" Santana crooned happily, the baby wiggling even more and opening her mouth, a short bark escaping her lips. Brittany was laughing, keeping the baby upright against her front, just holding onto her torso as Santana continued to make "Ha ha ha"s and speak in a voice that was so very odd to hear coming from Santana.

She carried on for a while, and eventually got what she was looking for... A giant giggle. The sound was unrefined and choppy, but Santana knew exactly what it was, and she herself laughed from delight as Brittany did the same.

"I love that!" Brittany said excitedly, kissing the top of Karlie's head and giggling herself.

"I do, too, it's so sweet!"

"Ladies..."

Santana turned her attention away from her daughter to find Mr. Schue looking at them, an eyebrow raised.

"Santana, I know you're a mom now, and you have responsibilities, but you also have a responsibility to this club. You're not focusing at all. Opening night is this Saturday, and we need to make sure we're all ready." Their teacher looked at both girls, a slightly admonishing frown on his face. "All of us."

"Sorry, Mr. Schue... I just..." Santana really didn't know how to explain herself, because he was right. She couldn't afford this distraction, but what was she supposed to do when the distraction was her daughter?

"It's alright," Mr. Schue said, his face softening. "But let's get back on task."

Puck walked over to the small group in the corner, having heard and watched Mr. Schue get onto the two girls from afar.

"Hey, San, I need a break anyway; let me watch her while you and Brittany practice," he offered, holding his arms out for the baby.

Santana's eyes widened slightly but she regained her composure quickly. Since when did Puck even like babies let alone want to hold them? In Karlie's three months of life he'd seen her rarely, though she had to admit he was always watching Santana and Finn with her from the corner of his eyes. He seemed sincere, so she nodded.

"Okay. Can you handle her though? She's not a cheerleader or a floozy tramp; she's a baby," Santana warned, and Brittany was looking at Puck unsure.

"Shut it and hand over the kid, Baby Mama. The Puckasaurus can handle women of all ages," Puck replied, his hands opening and closing in a gesture for Brittany to hand Karlie over. Brittany did, and Puck settled Karlie against his shoulder and wandered over to where Quinn and Mercedes were sewing buttons onto shirts.

Karlie seemingly in at least halfway capable hands, Santana and Brittany resumed their task. While she sang, she watched Puck across the room. Mercedes had wandered off, and Puck had Karlie sitting up on his knees. The shirt Quinn was fixing lay forgotten beside her, and she was huddled close to Puck, smiling at the baby and him in turn. The two were entranced by the infant, Karlie smiling for them both as they talked to her animatedly.

Santana noticed Puck's face darken as Quinn spoke softly to him, leaning a little closer to whisper in his ear. He frowned slightly, his mouth drawn tight before he said something back. Quinn smiled sadly, and she rested a hand on Puck's back, rubbing in a small circle.

It was then that Brittany groaned loudly, her eyes opening and her shoulders sagging as if listening to Santana sing was the hardest thing she'd done all day.

"Can we dance now? You know all the words and you sound amazing. I just want to dance."

So with that Santana was torn from her observing, and the pair ambled over to Mike, Tina, and Kurt to start dancing. This was the easy part, because she could do these moves in her sleep after going through them once. She might not be as fluid as Brittany but she was a damn good dancer. She was helping Kurt when she heard Karlie start to cry, and she sighed. It was about time for her to eat.

Apologizing to Kurt, Santana made her way over to her daughter. Puck and Quinn were staring at her confused as Quinn bounced her, unable to put a damper on her tears. Everyone was staring, and Santana could tell Mr. Schue was getting irritated. Taking the baby from Quinn, Santana shh'd her and shrugged her shoulders.

"She's hungry is all... I'm going to go feed her. Can I use your office, Mr. Schue?"

"Sure, Santana," Mr. Schuester said with a little sigh. "Everyone, let's get to work. Dress rehearsal in an hour!"

She made her way into the adjacent office after grabbing a blanket from Karlie's diaper bag. She had just settled herself into a chair and gotten Karlie latched when there was a knock at the door.

"Got a boob out, what do you need?"

She knew it was one of the Glee kids or Mr. Schue, since no one else would be at this school on a Friday night unless they had to. The door opened and she quickly covered her exposed skin and Karlie's head up with the light blanket.

"I wasn't kidding about the boob thing..."

"Nah you're fine," Puck said as he sidled in, sitting beside her.

"Oh gross," Santana said with a roll of her eyes. She could tell he wasn't trying to be pervy, just from the way he was staring at her with those sad eyes. She wasn't expecting to see him here, and definitely not with that look on his face. "You okay, Puckerman?"

"Can I be honest?"

Santana nodded, adjusting her arms to hold the baby in a more comfortable position.

"Not really. It kills me seeing you with that baby." Puck's eyes were downcast, staring at his hands in his lap.

"This isn't really a good place to be then, considering," Santana half-snarked. He didn't laugh, or even smile a little. He must actually be down... She tilted her head, trying to get a better view of his face. "Beth?"

"Beth," Puck agreed with a slight nod of his head. "And the fact that I'm still getting over my feelings for you."

"Puck, come on. You know as well as I do there were hardly ever any feelings between us," Santana said softly; though she knew she spoke the truth, she didn't want to seem harsh. "This is about Beth and what Quinn decided for you. And it's okay to be upset about it, but don't let it ruin your life, okay?"

"That's really easy for you to say, since you _have_ your baby," Puck retorted. Santana knew she'd struck a nerve so she stayed silent. "I miss her. Can you miss someone you didn't even really get to know?"

"I don't know..."

"I mean I just named her and got to hold her... She's barely my daughter."

"Hey, stop," Santana said quickly, a hand reaching to rest on his shoulder comfortingly. "Beth is as much your daughter as Karly is mine. I'm sorry we can't be parents in the same way though."

"How was I a parent?" Puck asked, finally meeting Santana's gaze.

"Are you kidding?" Santana asked lightly, her eyes searching Puck's face. "You made the first important choice regarding her... You decided to give her to a family that could provide for her. That's being a parent, making the right choices for your kid. You and Quinn did that."

"We made the right choice, I know that... It just hurts. I don't think I'll ever get over it completely."

"I'm not sure you're supposed to," Santana admitted. "You don't really get over something like that. But I think in time, it will get easier. I think having Karlie here is a reminder, and I'm sorry about that, but at the same time, you have to realize I can't do anything about it."

"I know. I'm not mad or anything, and I don't mean to be mopey at you. I just can't talk to Quinn about this. Everytime I do, she gets really defensive or she cries."

"It's hard on her, too," Santana said. It made her heart ache to hear Puck say that... Quinn seemed perfectly fine around Karlie now, even earlier when she watched her speak to Puck, she seemed fine. She was unhappy to find out this wasn't true after all.

"I know. Like you said, time. I guess."

Karlie had finally had her fill and was squirming, unused to her face being covered up. Santana got herself back in order before taking the blanket off, lifting Karlie up over her shoulder to burp her. She noticed how Puck's eyes got that wistful look in them again.

"You know any time you need a baby fix, you're welcome to borrow this one," Santana said with a sigh as Karlie promptly spit up a little bit. It wasn't enough to get her dirty, but it was dribbling down Karlie's chin. Puck laughed as she wiped it away with a corner of the blanket, shaking his head.

"I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

The two rejoined the rest of the gang in the choir room, just in time to be shoved into their costumes and get their hair and what makeup they needed applied. Mr. Schue was rushing them, and Santana passed the baby to Finn, who within five seconds got Karlie to sleep. He carried the sleeping infant to the auditorium with Santana at his side, both of them confident she would sleep through most anything, since it was nearing eight and Karlie was normally down for the night by now.

The problem came to what to do with her while they were all busy doing the dress rehearsal... Luckly Mr. Schue had invited Emma to watch the dress rehearsal with him, and the doe eyed ginger practically jumped at the chance to hold Karlie, clapping her hands and squealing a little at the sight of the baby in Finn's arms. Since babies were nothing but a giant mess, this surprised everyone. But Emma acted as if this was as natural as putting on hand sanitizer. At least she wouldn't have to worry about Ms. Pillsbury getting her daughter germy, Santana thought with a laugh. Finn passed her off, and they were all able to get on with the rest of their evening without a hitch, the baby sleeping through the loud music nestled against Ms. Pillsbury's chest in the third row.

"I bet we'll have less of a problem getting Mr. Schue to let Karlie hang around since now he knows Ms. Pillsbury apparently loves babies," Finn whispered to Santana between their scenes, watching Mercedes and Kurt sing from the side of the stage. Santana chuckled, laying a lingering kiss on Finn's lips before pulling away.

"I wouldn't have thought it," Santana said, turning back to face the stage.

"I guess people do some pretty surprising things when it comes to babies."

"Yeah," Santana agreed. She sidled up to him, nuzzling close into his side as he draped an arm around her shoulder. Looking up at him, she sighed before speaking again. "Like Mike. Or Kurt." She paused, a slow smile spreading over her face. "Or you. I'd never thought you'd be a good dad, not before all of this."

"That's okay," Finn said with a laugh. "I had never pictured you as the mothering type. I kind of likened you to a hamster; more apt to eat her young."

"Aren't we glad I didn't eat our baby?" Santana asked teasingly, pointing out to the rows of seating at Karlie, still and quiet in their guidance counselor's arms. She didn't have to be up close to appreciate the sweet and serene demeanor of her sleeping child, having been privy to it for months now. She smiled happily, and she knew Finn was doing the same.

"Almost all of the time."


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: I think this will be known as "The Chapter That Pissed Everyone Off". I've noticed a recurring theme in some of my reviews and PMs... And it's now being addressed. I think I made a mistake declaring a second character. Over all, this story is (and has always been) about Santana's journey... Everyone else is just a supporting player. That's not to say certain people aren't more important, and won't REMAIN important... And here we're going to deal with that. My goal for this fic was to be as realistic as possible. And I see this being an actual issue, and something that would eventually have to be talked about. It's going to play out well, but that's just it... It needs to play out.**

The baby swing Kurt had bought them was now Santana's saving grace, along with the rocking chair Finn's grandfather had made her. Her troublesome four month old was past the point of just blissfully falling asleep wherever whenever with little fuss, and now insisted on being rocked, and hard. It was not what Santana considered fun, and she was having her nightly battle with Karlie, determined to get her into bed before nine so that Santana had some time to shower and then cram for her history test that she desperately needed to pass.

The baby had a different idea, wailing and refusing any sort of comfort Santana could provide. She had now settled on the rocking chair, rocking back and forth in a rhythmic pace, patting Karlie firmly on her bottom and crooning to her softly.

It wasn't working, and Santana was just about ready to lay her down and just leave her in the crib. That creeping feeling of overwhelming frustration was working it's way up, and Santana just wouldn't deal with this anymore. How hard was it to fall asleep if you were already obviously tired?

"I'm just letting you know this right now: you're fine. You've been fed, burped, you have a clean diaper on, you're not sick, you're fine. So I'm going to put you in your bed, and I'm leaving your ass there. I love you but I'm kind of tired of listening to you bitch about nothing," Santana said, her tone one of easy explaination. She carried the still crying baby upstairs, though her wails lessened with each stair. She laid the baby down in her crib, and after a quick kiss to her forehead and a brief goodnight, Santana left the bedroom and shut the door, admittedly a little relieved to have dealt with that.

As soon as she did though, her mother was calling up the stairs to her. Sighing, Santana wandered into the kitchen where Marty was waiting for her, gesturing to the small mountain of bottles and pump fastenings stacked in one side of the sink.

"Santana, come on now. I need this cleaned up before you go to bed, understand?" she said as she moved to put the clean dishes in the dishwasher away. "You know I don't ask you to do much around here, but you need to keep up on Karlie's things. Some days this house looks more like Babies R Us than a home."

"Sorry, Mama," Santana said wearily, setting to her task immediately. In the past she might have tried to get out of something like this, but she was past arguing, knowing it would only extend the length of the chore. Besides these bottles needed to head back over to Finn's house for the upcoming week, and the pump things had to be cleaned every night anyway; she'd just forgotten.

Santana's mom sighed as she put the last dish away, and she came to stand behind her daughter, a hand on her shoulder.

"You're doing a good job, sweetheart. Your father and I are proud of you."

"Random, but thanks," Santana said, unwilling to accept a compliment that easily. Her mom had raised three children, and she was only raising one. She didn't see the reason for congratulations. Her mother just laughed, squeezing her shoulder before letting her hand drop.

"Your dad's going out to another conference this weekend, and I'll be going with. We'll be gone a week or so."

"I'm used to you being gone; it's fine," Santana assured, her ears straining for the faint crying of a baby. There were none, to her relief. Karlie must have finally fallen asleep.

"I know. I wish we were here more, but you seem to be handling everything well," Marty went on, her statement lilting more like a question.

"As well as could be expected," Santana agreed. She really needed to get into the shower, and her patience was already worn from earlier. She didn't have time for a heart-to-heart with her mom at the moment. Marty seemed to sense this, kissing her on the back of her head.

"There's my girl. If you need anything just give a shout."

With that her mother padded out of the kitchen, leaving Santana to hurry through her job, her thoughts swirling. Give a shout, _right_. While her mother wasn't unhelpful, she wasn't present enough to really impact how Santana did things... Most of taking care of Karlie she had to learn on her own or by asking Carole, who was always prepared with sound advice. Whenever Santana asked her own mother, she was pushy, to the point that Santana always regretted asking. Her dad had become involved in a rather large case, and her mother seemed to accompany him almost everywhere. Not that they weren't _ever_ home, they just weren't around enough to suit Santana. So she'd learned to get by without much of their assistance.

By the time she got everything washed and dried, the clock read nine, and she rushed upstairs to the bathroom, quickly showering. She wanted to get straight into studying, but her phone went off as soon as she had settled on the couch and cracked open her book.

_BrittyBritt, 9:32 - San I hate history. Can you help me?_

Santana sighed. It wasn't like this was an unusual occurance; Brittany often needed her help with homework and things like that. Punching out a quick reply, Santana decided it would probably be easier for her to learn it if she was helping her best friend out. But it was already late.

_Me, 9:33 -_ _Sure, Britt. Sleepover?  
_

She wasn't surprised when Brittany answered affirmitavely, and the blonde was over in less than ten minutes, already dressed in her pjs and lugging her backpack and clothes for the next day in a duffel. The two girls set up study camp right there in the livingroom, and armed with their books, highlighters, and two bowls of chocolate ice cream, they set to memorizing facts about the Civil War.

Eventually it got past midnight, and Santana could barely keep her eyes open, her vision bleary. She looked up from her study sheet to her friend, and couldn't help but laugh. Brittany was obviously past caring, laying on the floor with her book over her face.

"Hey, Britts, you ready for bed?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Brittany said, sitting up and letting her book slide to the floor. "I don't think osmosis is working too well for me anyway."

They ambled their way upstairs, and Santana didn't even need to shh Brittany, the blonde falling into her bed wordlessly. Santana went to Karlie's crib to check on her, and as she was expecting, the baby was passed out, a fist curled close to her face. After saying a silent thank you that she was out and looked like she would be for some time, Santana turned out the light, crawling into bed beside Brittany.

Without thinking anything of it, Santana responded when Brittany moved closer, slipping her arms around her waist. Santana sighed wearily, her eyes fluttering closed. She felt Brittany shift, rolling in her arms to come to face her.

"San?" Brittany whispered, her face mere inches from Santana's.

"Mmm?"

Brittany didn't say anything further though, and to her surprise, Santana felt her lips on hers. In her haze Santana excused it as a goodnight kiss, something that wasn't uncommon with Brittany, but when she felt the blonde's hands cup her face and the kiss wasn't ending, she jerked her head back in shock. She was certainly awake now, staring into calm blue eyes with her confused brown ones.

"Wh-what? Brittany, what was that?" she asked, unable to reason in her own head what Brittany was thinking.

"It's been a long time since we had lady kisses, I just thought..." Brittany trailed off, her eyebrows furrowing. Santana could tell she wasn't expecting to be denied. "The timing didn't feel right?"

"Brittany, I'm with Finn. I have a baby... I can't have lady kisses with you anymore..."

"But you love lady kisses," Brittany countered, though Santana could tell she wasn't arguing, just trying to understand.

"I used to, yeah... But I can't now. It wouldn't be right to do that to Finn."

"What if Finn doesn't care?" Brittany pressed, and Santana had to fight to not just go along with her idea right then and there.

She missed being intimate, whether it was Finn or Brittany, she missed it. Not that she and Finn had any sort of sexy times, but they were intimate in other ways. Their time spent together with Karlie, and even alone, carried a lot of emotional significance to her. She wondered if that type of intimacy outweighed the kind she'd always had with Brittany; even outside of lady kisses, they were constantly touching and being close. That was just as important to her as her and Finn's intimacy.

"Finn would care, Britt," Santana said, gentle but firm. She didn't want to lead Brittany on. The blonde frowned, her lips in a pout as she toyed with the loose end of Santana's ponytail. Realizing what she was doing, she drew her hand away quickly, putting her hand between her knees.

"Sorry..."

"No, Britt, we just can't make out or..." Brittany nodded, knowing what Santana meant without her having to actually say the words out loud.

"We can still cuddle?"

"I don't ever not want to cuddle with you," Santana said reassuringly, taking Brittany's hand in her own and squeezing it. "I don't want anything to change besides the other stuff we talked about."

"Finn doesn't mind that you like cuddling me?"

"I don't think so..." Santana said slowly, her brows furrowing. Not that she ever really thought about it like that. That facet of her and Brittany's relationship had always been well established. She couldn't say she really cared if Finn had an issue with that or not.

"But if he did, would we have to stop?"

At this Santana's blood ran cold. She'd never thought about the fact that eventually her touchy-feely ways with Brittany might have to taper off... That would kill her. Brittany was her best friend, and she loved her... She loved Finn, too, she knew that. How could she love them both, her affection for them so different yet so similiar? She wracked her brain for a precursor, something that would tell her what she could or couldn't do, what each Finn and Brittany might be okay with... And nothing came up. This was entirely new and foreign to her, and it was kind of scary.

"San?" Brittany questioned, biting her lip. Santana let out a ragged breath and turned over, her hand letting go of Brittany's as she faced away.

"It's late, Britt. We have school tomorrow... Let's talk about this later."

"No. I want to talk about this now," Brittany said, and her roughness of her voice let Santana know she was holding back tears.

"Brittany, I love you, okay?" Santana said softly, but she didn't turn back to face her friend. "But I love Finn, in a different way. And I love Karlie, and I don't want to mess her up by doing something stupid. Let me think this through, and I promise, we'll talk about it."

"Do you have to talk to Finn?"

"I do, yeah," Santana admitted, though she had no idea where that conversation was going to lead. She didn't want to hurt Finn, and she didn't want to not be with Finn... She loved him. She needed him, even. But he needed to know her inner turmoil. Honesty was their "thing", and even though if Brittany hadn't brought it up, she probably never wouldhave thought of it, now that she was aware of this issue, he had to know. He could help her; any time she'd let him in, he'd been able to understand her and listen to her, and provide sound feedback.

"I kind of hate Finn," Brittany said angrily, and Santana could feel her turn over, and if she knew Brittany at all, her arms were crossed over her chest. Santana sighed, flipping over and taking Brittany in her arms. Sighing deeply, she rested her chin on her friend's shoulder.

"No, you don't. This was bound to happen eventually, Brittany. We'll talk through it, or whatever it is high functioning, capable adults are supposed to do, and everything will be fine."

"Happily ever after?"

"I hope, yeah."

* * *

**A/N 2: Now I don't expect people to not be mad. I'm aware most everyone is going to be unhappy. But at the same time, go back and read the story. This vein did not come out of nowhere. Have a little faith, and I promise I'm not going to make you wait long at all for a resolution. You can't please everybody, and I'm not trying to. As I said above, my goal was to be realistic. Fantana shippers, do not lose heart. I'm not planning on doing away with Fantana (at all!). But this is something they need to discuss, and will be explored as sensitively as it can be. **


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: So this story is like never ending. I told myself I'd be done at 40 chapters. Just... not happening. Who knows at this point. **

* * *

Laying sprawled across her bed, Santana had Karlie on her stomach, tummy to tummy, and she was holding her hands in her own. She smiled as big as she could, overemphasizing her facial expressions, and the baby was entranced, flailing her legs behind her as she kicked madly, mouth open wide in wonder as her mother talked. The conversation wasn't anything interesting, but it suited the infant just fine and suited Santana even better if it kept Karlie entertained.

She was waiting for Finn to come over after his shift, having told him they had something they needed to talk about. He hadn't seemed nervous at all, but she had butterflies in her stomach. She had no idea how he would take this, how he would react...

Finn seemed a little old fashioned, but she remembered their conversation way back when she was first pregnant at Jamie's... He knew. He knew what her and Brittany's relationship was like. But she also knew he wouldn't see this coming. They never talked about it. But maybe they didn't have to, maybe Finn really did just _get_ it. He made sure Brittany was always included in everything, and he never seemed to mind having her around. At this thought Santana relaxed. Maybe she didn't have anything to worry about.

However, once Finn had finally arrived and she'd told him, his face darkened.

"You want to still have sex with Brittany?" he asked, not looking at her but at their daughter, who was in her bouncer on the floor between where the couple sat. He played with her foot, very obviously ignoring his girlfriend's gaze.

"No, Finn, it's not that... I need to know that you're okay with us being... intimate..."

"Again, you want to have sex with Brittany," he stated crossly.

"No. You're not understanding me... Or maybe I'm not explaining it right..." she told him, swallowing. This wasn't going well at all. After thinking quickly, she tried again. "I don't want to stop being close with her, because we're together. And not "close" as in sex, close as in..." she fumbled, searching for a way to say exactly what she meant. "Like just hugging and cuddling and stuff..."

"So... what you do already," Finn said, looking at her oddly. She nodded her head slowly. "Not sex but the other things, the constant touching, the inside jokes, the calling her when you're feeling down things." Again Santana nodded. He _was_ getting it!

"Yes, that. That kind of intimacy. That's all I meant."

"Santana, she's your best friend. Isn't that what girls, like... do?" He wasn't mad anymore, but she could tell he was starting to wonder why the hell she brought this up.

"I don't think all girls do..." Santana admitted, her turn to avoid his gaze. He shrugged, reaching for her and bringing her into his arms. She sat in his lap, legs curled beneath her. Now she was looking at him, waiting for what he would have to say to that, her face slightly pinched. She didn't know this would be that nervewracking, or that it really would matter this much what Finn thought.

"Well it's okay if that's what you guys do. That's you and Brittany, it just is what it is, right?" he said, smoothing a strand of hair behind her ear out of reflex.

"Right! That's all," Santana agreed, unable to stop herself from smiling. She knew he would understand.

"Why exactly did we have to talk about this?" he asked with a chuckle, kissing the side of her head. She faltered for a few seconds, unsure of what he meant. Seeing her confusion, he explained. "I knew going into a relationship with you that Brittany was a huge part of your life. None of this is a big surprise or anything."

"It... it's not?"

"No... I mean I do pay attention; I'm not completely stupid," he joked, hugging her tightly.

"You're not stupid at all," Santana told him, smiling up at him. "Thank you."

"Thank _you_ for thinking enough of me to want to make sure that was okay," Finn replied. "For some reason this makes me feel like, good inside and stuff."

"Warm?" Santana asked, and Finn nodded. She knew what he meant. "That's our type of intimacy. We really are good together, Finn. You don't make a big deal out of things."

"You like that I let you boss me around," Finn said with a laugh.

"Well there's always that, too," Santana agreed, placing her arms around his neck. "How about I boss you around right now?"

"Oh?" Finn asked, the word lilting sharply as one of his eyebrows rose, watching her with an amused expression.

"Mmhmm," she said slowly, smiling knowlingly.

She leaned in closer to him, her eyes closed. When her lips were millimeters away from his, he closed his eyes too, puckering his lips slightly. But she didn't come any closer, making no moves to bridge the distance between them.

"Why don't you go fix me a sandwich?" Her voice was low and sultry, and if she hadn't just asked him to make her food, he'd probably have ravaged her right there in the livingroom. She knew it was mean, but it was also kind of hilarious at the same time.

"How can you make that sexy?" Finn said, bursting out laughing. "Only you would lead a dude on like that. Tease." She laughed as he shook his head and rolled his eyes at her, dumping her unceremoniously from his lap. He made as if to get up, but she reached out for him and took him by the wrist.

"Hey," she said quickly, and Finn turned his head just in time to get caught right in the middle of her assault, mouthes colliding.

They melted into a tender kiss, her hands coming to rest on the sides of his face, her eyelids fluttering. They were good together, that much was true. Finn was sweet, caring, and he understood her little idiosyncrasies. Even if in the end it hadn't mattered to Finn, she was glad she had talked to him about her concerns about Brittany. She was slowly figuring out that perhaps Finn was pretty adept at reading her for a reason. Maybe there was definitely more to them than she had given him credit for, even as they were dating.

With this thought she deepened their juncture, adding tongue. Finn groaned appreciatively, and he shifted her back into his lap, hands firmly on her waist, his thumbs under her shirt and rubbing the soft skin of her hips in small circles. She hadn't been conciously withholding this type of closeness from Finn, but it was then she realized she hadn't so much as let him get to second base since... Well since she got pregnant. She tried to dismiss the slight feeling of guilt that conjured up, telling herself they were moving at a slow pace for a reason. She wasn't going to make the same mistakes she had in the past, even if she'd already slept with Finn before. Nevertheless, a new awareness of her lack of putting out made her a little panicky, and she leaned into Finn more, pressing herself as closely to him as she could. He responded accordingly, hands creeping up her sides.

They were jolted from their make out session by Karlie mewling slightly. Breaking away from Finn the same time he released her, she wiped her mouth, reaching for Karlie's bouncer and giving it a few taps, thinking the motion might calm her before she started to wail.

When Karlie just cried harder, Santana couldn't help but laugh. The irony. Or the cosmic forces telling them not to have sex again ever until they were old, reminding them of what happened the first time they'd slept together. Either way, Santana took heed.

She picked Karlie up out of the seat and brought her to her chest, automatically smelling the source of Karlie's discomfort.

"Oh my god, child, you are _so _gross," Santana commented, her nose wrinkling from the stench. "I thought breast fed babies weren't supposed to have gross poops?"

"Tell that to Karlie," Finn said, scrinching his own nose.

"Save yourself," Santana told him, coming to a stand slowly. "I'll change her, you go fix me that sandwich."

"Fair," Finn said enthusiastically. He hopped up quickly and headed into the kitchen, leaving her to deal with the dirty diaper. When he came back, he almost dropped the paper plate he'd put Santana's sandwich on.

"What happened here?" he asked, eyes wide in horror at the scene before him.

"She exploded green!" Santana cried, holding a diaper over Karlie at arm's length, one arm covering her face as she winced. "It's everywhere!"

"I can see that!"

There was bright green baby poo all over, covering Santana's hand and Karlie alike, some smudges on the carpet and on the baby's onesie. A pile of used wipes lay on the original dirty diaper a few feet away. Santana was in near tears, gagging into her arm, while Karlie was on the other end of the spectrum, very relaxed, smiling at her mother and flailing her legs, only making the mess worse.

"Oh god, stop, just stop that!" Santana shrieked. "Finn, help!"

"Take her to the tub! Forget the wipes," Finn said, abandoning the sandwich on the coffee table and coming to Santana's aid, picking up Karlie under her arms and holding her out at arm's length in front of him. "Run ahead of me and go turn the faucet on!"

Santana did as she was bade, dashing up the stairs all the while cringing and holding back sobs. She ran the water in the bathtub and scrubbed at her hands, using a large amount of soap before Finn came in behind her. She moved out of the way and he held Karlie over the tub, jerking his head at the showerhead.

"Grab that!"

Turning the spigot over so that the water ran from the showerhead, Santana practically yanked it down from it's hook. After testing it quickly for temperature she started to spray the baby with it, and reluctantly used her hand to get the poop off of her daughter's skin.

"Gross, gross, oh god, gross, gross," Santana exclaimed, her facial expression pained as she set to the detestable task. Karlie didn't care, her arms and legs kicking excitedly as she smiled at Finn.

"You're evil," Finn stated, his voice full of awe. "Pure evil."

After Santana had gotten it off, she grabbed a rag and Karlie's baby soap. Finn relaxed, getting to his knees and holding Karlie upright in the tub as she sat on the bottom, his hands holding her firmly in place so she didn't slip as Santana started to properly bathe her.

"I have no idea how she did that," Santana said with disbelief, soaping up her daughter's body and rinsing her off. She shook her head, mystified still. "Karlie, _why_ would you do that to Mommy?"

"It wasn't so much _to_ you as it was _on_ you," Finn clarified jokingly, but Santana was in no mood, her face dark. As soon as Karlie was washed, Santana lifted her out of Finn's hands and wrapped her in a towel, Santana rubbing the baby's skin gently to dry her. Finn turned to help when he saw a smear of green on Santana's right cheek.

"Oh gross, it's on your face!"

Santana felt for her face, and running across the feces she gasped, her eyes widening in horror.

"How did that happen?"

Finn wrinkled his nose, grabbing a clean rag and wetting it, going to Santana's aid as she held their wriggling child in one arm.

"I don't know, but that's disgusting."

Suddenly Santana's face screwed up, tears falling fast as he dabbed away at the spot on her cheek.

"Santana, it's okay; it's coming off," Finn reassured as chipperly as he could, wiping the last traces of nasty away. "See? All done. Back to your pretty self!"

"I don't feel pretty!" Santana lamented, swiping her nose as it began to run.

She couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed, and this was just the icing on the cake. If the Santana she was a year ago could see her now, she'd be ashamed. Letting a boy see her like that, and not even caring if he did... Hair a mess and in slouchy clothes, bags under her eyes... For some reason it got to her, even though she hadn't thought about her appearence in so long. That just caused her to cry harder, the fact that she just hadn't _cared_.

"I haven't felt pretty in months! I just had baby crap on my face!"

Finn fumbled, taking the baby from Santana and attempting to wrap an arm around her shoulders. She refused, tears still cascading down her face.

"You're pretty! You're so pretty, even with crap on your face and snot running from your nose!" he tried, but this only made it worse.

"I have mommy all over me! What happened to that hot, gorgeous girl I used to be? The one who wouldn't step out of the house with her pajamas on and the one that could make boys drool just by sending a look their way and made all the girls jealous?"

"She turned into a hot, gorgeous _mom_, is all! And boys still totally drool; I drool all the time, and also girls are _so_ jealous of you, and also I like your sweats!"

"This is not helping! I'm all mom-ified, and I don't wanna be that; I wanna be how I used to be! I know I was at least mostly vain but now look at me, I don't even care how I look, not even for you, and you're my boyfriend! My boyfriend I don't even put out for!"

"Hey now, stop," Finn said gently, a hand coming to rest on her cheek. She sniffed, looking at him through tear blurred eyes as he ran his thumb over her jawline. "I think you're gorgeous and actually I have never found you hotter than since you became mom-ified. So you don't have to worry about that. And the not putting out thing, that's the last thing on my mind, and I know on yours. I'm not like the guys you hooked up with before, Santana; you don't need to have sex with me to keep me interested."

"Because we have a baby together," Santana countered, but Finn stopped that train of thought before it could run off it's tracks and lead to crazier places in her mind.

"Because there is and always has been more to you than that hot sex machine image," he corrected, "And that's what I'm here for."

After a few more moments of sobbing, she regained at least a part of her composure, allowing Finn to take her into his free arm and squeeze her to his side, her head resting on his chest as she sniffled and breathed deeply.

"Thanks, Finn," Santana said softly, much more subdued now than she had been during her outburst. She almost started crying again, thinking about how ridiculous she was being, putting up more of a fuss than her infant daughter ever had.

"Look, why don't we get Brittany to watch the baby this Friday, and you and I can go out? Get all dressed up, eat somewhere nice... All that. Not that we need to get all dressed up but I figure maybe you might like that? Non-mommy time?"

"I'd like that," Santana agreed, exhaling her last shaky breath before the heaves of her chest became even again.

"Then we have a date!" Finn declared, kissing the top of Santana's face as she smiled happily, tears forgotten. "Now, let's get some clothes on this baby before she explodes in the towel."


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: Alright! There was a bit of a wait on this because I had OD'd on Brittana. It's true, and I'll admit it. I pulled myself out of it and got this chapter for you guys, though. :D Now, I know it's not exactly what everyone wants, but, I really don't want to have to change the rating to M, so I kept most everything implied. It's better for your imaginations this way though. **

**Please drop me a line and let me know what you think on this one. I have my doubts but I mostly feel good about it. **

* * *

Karlie stared wide eyed as Brittany growled, imitating a dinosaur and making claws with her hands, swiping at the air. After she got used to what Brittany was doing, Karlie's face relaxed, and eventually the baby let out a giggle, smiling widely at her aunt. Brittany screeched in delight, looking over at Santana who was putting on the finishing touches of her make up in her vanity mirror.

"She loves Dinosaur Brittany!" Brittany exclaimed happily, and Santana chuckled, having watched her friend's reflection in the mirror as she got ready for her date with Finn.

"I think she learned to love Dinosaur Brittany," Santana said with a laugh. She carefully checked herself over one last time, and happy with the results, she turned to face her the blonde and her daughter. "You sure you're okay hanging out here tonight? I can always call Quinn or maybe even Tina and they can come over, too," she offered, but Brittany just shook her head.

"Nope, me and Karlie will be fine. We have stuff planned."

"_Stuff_?" Santana asked, getting up from her vanity to rifle through her closet for a pair of red heels she knew she had somewhere. Finding them semi-easily, she slipped them on.

"You know, Karlie and Aunt Brittany stuff. Not really any of your business," Brittany said playfully. As if she knew what Brittany had said, Karlie giggled. Lowering her face to the baby's, Brittany grinned. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

"As long as she's alive when Finn and I get home."

Santana stood in front of Brittany, gesturing to herself.

"Whatcha think?"

The blonde appraised her friend, eyes narrowing as she hummed slightly. Picking up Karlie, she continued to scrutinize her.

"I like the dress; you've always looked good in black though," Brittany mused, pointing offhandedly to the halter topped dress Santana was wearing, lowcut and stopping just above her knees. "And the hair is great, I love that." Santana ran a hand through her loose waves, fingers brushing the barrette she'd used to hold back one side. It hadn't taken long to do, but it was definitely better than the ponytail she had taken to wearing again. "Make up is simple but perfect. Yep, San, you clean up good." The two shared a grin, Santana's hands moving to her hips.

"Helps that I've lost most of the baby weight, too," she added, smoothing the fabric of her dress over her stomach. She wasn't yet to the size she was before she got pregnant, but the few extra pounds gave her some pretty sweet curves.

"Yay for drinking boob juice and not formula!" Brittany exclaimed, waving Karlie's arms for her as the baby just grinned, though she had no idea what anyone else was so happy about. "Now go downstairs and get going. You made Finn wait down there for like half an hour already."

Santana took a deep breath, knowing she was right. It wasn't like this was their wedding day or anything; they were just going out for the evening. Finn had made reservations at a really nice restaurant in the nearest city, and she had decided that after they would go to a movie. It wasn't an extravagent plan, but it'd been forever since Santana had seen a movie, let alone watched one in the theatre, and they _never_ had time to eat out. For them it was as exciting and exotic as a trip to Paris.

Once they'd made it downstairs and Finn finally got a glimpse of Santana, he swallowed hard. She noticed, unable to stop the smug smile from spreading across her face, and did a slow spin, enabling him to take in the entire view.

"You look amazing, Santana," Finn said earnestly, his eyes intensely staring into hers.

"Thanks, Finn."

"Your hair is so pretty, and that dress..." Finn trailed off, looking her up and down again. Santana basked in the hungry look he was giving her as he met her gaze again, chuckling softly. "That dress."

"Yeah yeah, I bet you can't wait to get it off later," Brittany said with a roll of her eyes. She shifted Karlie so that she was sitting on her hip. "Quit being gross and leave already. Say bye to Mommy and Daddy! Bye-bye!" Brittany waved and looked at Karlie expectantly.

Karlie gurgled, but mostly in response to the fact that she was now playing with her own hands, entranced by her newly discovered appendages.

"Bye, baby," Santana said, coming over to kiss Karlie on the top of her head, despite her disinterest. "Have fun with Aunt Britt." She gave Brittany a quick peck on the cheek, then looked at her with one eyebrow raised. "You have all of her things here, all of our information is on the fridge and in your phone, and Quinn is on standby if you need her. Don't kill my daughter if you can help it."

"I can help it," Brittany said seriously, nodding her head. "You two have fun."

"We'll be back before midnight," Finn assured, though he was speaking to Karlie when he said it. "Be a good girl, for God's sake."

Brittany then ushered them out of the door, tossing Santana her coat and then waving goodbye.

"Okay bye now!"

With the door shut unceremoniously behind them, Finn took Santana under his arm as they laughed at Brittany's eagerness.

"I'm sure Brittany can handle it," Santana said reassuringly, though Finn had made no comment about leaving their baby with Brittany. He simply nodded, grinning.

"Everyone's going to have a good night, I can just feel it."

* * *

And Finn was right, it was a good night. The drive to dinner was pleasant and full of animated talking, each of them feeling like they hadn't spoken to the other in ages. They talked about school, basketball, Glee Club, what their friends were up to, work (which was rather onesided because Santana had yet to return to work, unable to find time let alone energy), and naturally the conversation fell to their daughter. They expressed happiness at how well she was growing, already rolling over and not that far away from sitting up completely unassisted. They were debating on when they should try and start solids when they pulled up to the restaurant.

As they went inside and Finn told the maitre d' of their arrival, Santana smiled widely, her arm threaded through her boyfriend's. The place had very dim lighting, soft music in a language she didn't know, and secluded tables and booths scattered spaciously around the restaurant. The atmosphere was definitely low key and intimate, and Santana was automatically relaxed as they were shown to their table. They ordered water to drink and then peered over the small and nondescript menu they were given.

Santana frowned very slightly as she scanned it, finding she couldn't pronounce most anything on it. She flicked her eyes to Finn's face and saw his confusion, letting her know he had no idea what any of this was anyway.

"Is this French?" he whispered, turning the menu so that he could see it from the side. "Maybe it's upside down..."

"It looks like French," Santana confirmed, though she was hardly an expert on foreign languages.

"What the hell do we order?"

"Let's just ask the waiter to recommend something, that way we don't look totally clueless," Santana suggested. Finn nodded, setting the menu down on the table. He looked at her sheepishly.

"I should have checked out what I was getting us into; I'm sorry, Santana," he said apologetically. She shrugged her shoulders, simply smiling. She couldn't be angry; even if they had no idea what they were going to be ordering or if they'd even like it, this was really nice of Finn. Reaching for his hand on top of the table, she winked.

"You think they have breadsticks here?"

"Dunno; do you know how to say "breadsticks" in French?" Finn said with a laugh. He squeezed her hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, returning her smile.

"The only French I know is "_Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir_?" and I got that from a Christina Aguilera song," Santana joked, although Finn seemed just more confused. She looked at him for a few seconds, waiting for it to sink in. When it didn't, she sighed. "It means "will you sleep with me tonight" or whatever."

"_Ohhh_, got ya," Finn said after another moment, a look of realization crossing his face. He suddenly grinned, leaning in closer to her and whispering. "Probably the only French worth knowing anyway."

Santana almost snorted out loud, quickly regaining composure as their waiter magically reappeared in front of them. Finn handled the ordering rather effortlessly, acting surprisingly smooth and as far as Santana could tell the waiter had no clue that they were lost. Whatever the waiter recommended was long and sounded a bit like a phlegm-y sneeze, but Finn smiled and Santana clapped her hands joyfully.

"That sounds dee-light-ful," she said, drawing out the word in a silly voice she never would use normally. Finn looked at her from the side of his eyes and she could see him shake slightly as if he were trying to keep from laughing, biting his lip before nodding at the waiter.

"Mm, yes, quite," Finn added, handing the menu back to him. "And also we shall be needing some breadsticks."

The waiter gave them an odd look but trundled off with their order written down. As soon as he was out of sight, Finn burst out in a guffaw.

"Delightful? It sounded like snot!"

"What about you, Mr. "Yes, Quite"! And I've never heard you use the word "shall" in your life!" Santana almost crowed, wrinkling her nose at Finn and giggling.

"What, we're in a fancy place! Can't we talk fancy?" he said, lifting his nose in the air and twirling his wrist.

"Indeed you're correct, my fine sir," Santana said in her affected voice, tipping her head and waving her hand at Finn.

"Am I, fair lady? Then we shan't waste another moment talking like common folk." Finn picked up his glass of water, and with his pinky erect he drank from it, causing Santana to laugh more.

They carried on this way even as the waiter returned with their breadsticks, and they tore at the sticks rather daintily and paid no mind to if anyone was watching them or not. It felt so good to be silly and weird, instead of serious and responsible. Knowing that the clock would eventually run out on their evening, they took full advantage of acting like silly teenagers. The irony of coming to a very grown up restaurant on a night supposed to be spent in an adult manner and instead resorting to behaving like the seventeen year olds they both were was not lost on Santana, though she had to admit she did not care one bit. She was very much enjoying her and Finn's game, although it ended abruptly as the waiter brought their food.

The pair were suddenly faced with two plates of something neither teen could identify. It looked nothing like snot at least, an oblong hunk of something on a bed of cous cous with a side of brussel sprouts. Finn lingered over his serving for a moment, and the waiter stood by expectantly. Santana poked hers with a fork and then sighed deeply, looking over at their server with an eyebrow raised.

"Okay I give up. What the hell is this?"

"_Langue de Boeuf Braisee au Madere_," the waiter said smoothly, smiling widely at her. When Santana just continued staring at him, he clarified. "Braised beef tongue."

Santana's eyes widened in horror as Finn backed away from his plate, and she shook her head slightly at the waiter.

"Why the hell would you bring us a cow's tongue?"

"It happens to be a very popular dish in France," the waiter replied, his brows knit together as he explained.

"We're in Ohio!" Santana argued, waving her hand around.

"In a _French_ restaurant," he countered, though he did so politely.

"_Olé_, waiter guy, _olé_," Finn said as he put his fork down in defeat.

"That's Spanish," he replied cooly, and Santana could tell he was getting a little fed up with them. She tried to contain both her disgust and her amusement at the situation, failing slightly as she shook with mirth. Deciding enough was enough, she cleared her throat and smiled up at the waiter, who was still looking rather miffed.

"I think we'll be needing more breadsticks," she said, handing her plate back to the waiter. "And none of this, please."

* * *

After that little blip, the rest of the evening went fairly well as they filled up on breadsticks and eventually made it to their movie. It was one of those romantic chick-flicks, not that Santana was really into those, but she hadn't seen a Katherine Heigl movie in forever so it was time to catch up. Finn readily agreed and they sat in the back row, feeling a bit over dressed for the movie theatre but not really minding, since it was dark anyway. Santana happily snuggled up to Finn, nestled close to his chest for the duration of the movie, cheek resting against the fabric of his button down shirt. She loved being close to him, secure with one of his arms draped around her shoulders as he traced small circles on her bare arm, causing little goosebumps to pop up on her flesh despite herself. Quick glances snuck at his face revealed a content smile, one she mirrored as well. He just felt good, and natural, and _right_. She couldn't really explain why, all she knew is that she didn't ever want the movie to end.

During a slow part, they made out a little until Santana got distracted by the film when it picked back up, then they let off until the next lull in the plot. Halfway through the movie things were getting a bit heated, and Santana had to stop herself from moaning out loud as she felt Finn's hand creep further and further up her thigh.

"Not here," she whispered, reaching for his hand and sliding it down to her knee. "Later, okay?"

"Why not here?" he husked back, dipping down so he could kiss the sensitive skin of her neck. Her eyelids fluttered as she tilted her head back, allowing him better access.

"There's people," Santana replied, though her resolve was definitely waning. How many times had she done things with Puck or Brittany in a movie theatre and not even cared one bit? And she wanted this badly, though she hadn't really realized it until the opportunity was presented to her. It'd been almost a year since she'd had any sort of physically intimate contact with anyone, and well, the same could be said for Finn.

"They don't have to know."

Again his hand was slinking back up her thigh, and she spread her legs in instinctive response. He almost had a finger underneath the band of her thong when she pulled him away again, shifting her body away from his. When he looked at her, eyes slightly glazed from lust and want, she bit her lip.

"I want to, trust me, I really, _really _want to, but not here and not like this. I'm sorry," she said quietly, watching his face for any signs of irritation. He sighed and laid his head back on the back of his seat, but he nodded.

"You're right; you're right," he agreed with a sigh. He turned so that he could face her. "You deserve more than something in the back row at the movies. More romantic."

"Oh?" Santana asked, an eyebrow raising slightly. No one had ever said something like that to her before, and the concept was foreign. She was honestly more worried about being caught than the lack of atmosphere.

"Yeah. Listen... after this... Do you want to get a hotel room? Not like that place where we..."

"Made our daughter," Santana filled in, seeing how Finn was struggling to find a way to describe the awkward hour they spent at a seedy motel where she took his virginity. He nodded, then paused for a few seconds in thought before he spoke again.

"Speaking of which... You're on birth control right?"

"Breastfeeding is kind of a birth control, but I'm on the Depo shot now," she answered.

"They give shots at Home Depot?" he asked, confused. She closed her eyes for a few seconds before answering him, the mood almost faltering.

"No, Finn. It's birth control; it's just a shot so I don't have to remember to take pills," she explained evenly.

"So no babies?"

"No babies," Santana said with a nod of her head. No way would she want to take that chance again; she had no plans on having any more kids any way.

"Do you want to?" he asked, watching her carefully. She thought for a few moments, Finn stroking her cheek softly as he waited patiently. "We don't have to. I told you before that we don't have to have sex to keep me interested. But if you want to, I want to... For the right reasons this time."

"I do want to," she answered with a smile, pressing her face into his hand a little more. "Tonight." He grinned back and then checked his watch.

"When is this supposed to be over again?"

* * *

Before she even knew it, there they were in the hotel room, one that probably cost more than she wanted to know, Finn pushing her up against the door as her fingers fumbled with his shirt buttons. His pants and her panties were already laying forgotten on the floor, their rush to be near each other making sure those were the first things to go. They were engaged in a heated tongue wrestling match, one that went on for what seemed like forever until they both had to stop to gasp for air, oxygen vital to living, after all.

Taking this break to allow Finn to hoist her up higher on the metal door, his hands sliding her dress up her thighs, Santana groaned. She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his.

"Tell me what the right reasons are," she said breathily, and Finn took his time in answering, kissing down her jaw and attacking her pulse point, sucking on her neck for a few moments before disconnecting with a wet _pop_.

"Because I love you, and it means something," he answered in a low voice. He smiled at her adoringly, just staring at her. She returned his smile and her breath hitched in her throat. Sounded like logic to her.

* * *

"How do you feel?" she asked on the way home, a little past one in the morning. No way could they stay at the hotel all night long, not without giving Brittany more of a warning.

Instead they had laid around after the deed, basking in the after glow, happily resting breathlessly in each other's arms, and after awhile they pulled themselves out of bed and put themselves back together to head back home.  
Finn smiled, reaching for her hand and holding it over the center console. He looked at her briefly and grinned wider.

"Is it lame to say I feel everything?"

"No, I guess it's not," she answered, chuckling.

The experience they'd just had was a far cry from the one when they'd concieved Karlie. While that time had been awkward and sloppy, this had been tender and careful, the heft of what they were doing not weighing down either of their consciences. It was right and real, neither of them regretting their choice. There was no second guessing, no painful drawn out excuses as to why they did what they did, no rushing off on their seperate ways into the night.

Santana had expected more pressure, more being caught up in her own head if they ever had sex again. She was relieved to find out nothing else had mattered except her, and Finn. He treated her like a gentleman, and even though there were a few false starts, it was a beautiful event. He had kissed and cherished every part of her as if he'd never seen her body before, though he'd seen it at it's worst, and he'd seen it in better condition as well. Never had anyone been so respectful of her own needs and desires, and she found almost no need to direct him, as he seemed to just understand her and the process as if this were the two hundredth time and not the second time.

They rode along in contented silence until they reached Santana's home, and then they quickly went inside to relieve Brittany of her duties.

The blonde was wracked out on the couch, drooling slightly, and the baby was laid on blankets inside a laundry basket at her side. Santana couldn't help it when one of her eyebrows rose, but figured it was probably better she didn't know. Not wanting to wake Brittany, the couple said their goodbyes quietly and Finn kissed Karlie goodnight. She watched him leave, and as soon as the car pulled out of the drive she went to the laundry basket to retrieve her daughter, heading upstairs to change and put the baby in her crib. When she'd showered and got into her pajamas, she went back to the living room to check on Brittany, surprised to see the blonde awake.

"Hey, Britts... I'm back," she said softly, although that was obvious.

Brittany was sitting on the edge of the couch groggily, rubbing her eyes while trying to look at the time on her phone. Santana sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist, kissing the side of her head. "It's late; why don't you just stay the night?"

"When did you get home?" Brittany asked sleepily, leaning her head against Santana's shoulder. Resting her chin on the top of Brittany's head, the brunette sighed tiredly.

"Around one thirty. It's almost two thirty now."

"You were late..." Brittany said softly. Santana didn't have to look to know her friend's eyes were closing.

"I know, I'm sorry... Something came up," Santana explained.

She gently tugged Brittany to her feet and lead her up the stairs, knowing she wasn't going to make it home tonight. She elaborated further even though she was sure Brittany wasn't processing anything she was saying.

"You guys did it?" Brittany asked, apparently understanding more than Santana thought she would in her haze, falling into Santana's bed just moments before Santana did. Santana nodded, her own eyes heavy with the need for sleep.

"Mmm."

"Did you make a twin?"

Having nothing to say to that, Santana just pulled Brittany in her arms so that they were spooning, burrying her face in her best friend's golden locks. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, nestling close to Brittany's lithe form.

"Go to sleep, Britt."


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N: Okey doke guys! The chapter after this one will be your last. I do plan on getting the first chapter of the sequel ready to launch the same day I finish this story off, so you won't have a gap. Hopefully by Sunday! Read, review, do what you do. :D **

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"Anyone else miss the days when we were a Glee Club and not a rag-tag group of baby nurses?"

Santana deftly ignored Tina, patting Karlie heavily on her back as she paced the length of the choir room, softly cooing to her crying daughter. The rest of the gang were watching her, offering bits of unecessary advice after they had all attempted to calm the squalling baby.

They'd been attempting to think of numbers for Regionals, having won their sectional this year, but the arrival of Karlie had provided a most insistant distraction. Santana's brother had brought her over when he had finally had enough, unable to calm his niece and starting to worry that there was really something wrong with her.

Santana had known better than to think she was sick, and after swiping a finger along the five month old's gums discovered the true culprit of her displeasure... Her first budding tooth. Santana hadn't realized getting a tooth in would be so hellish, but apparently it was as the baby was a complete mess, drooling profusely and gnashing her jaws together, tears streaming down her face as she gave frustrated cries.

"Isn't whiskey supposed to be good for teething?" Mercedes mused, and everyone quickly cut their eyes to Puck. He looked at them incredulously and raised his hands defensively.

"What? It's not like I have any here!"

"We're not giving my daughter alcohol," Santana said irritably. Finn had been sent off to the drug store for teething tablets, something she'd seen on the shelves of the pharmacy but never understood the point of until this moment, and he was taking forever.

"Distract her?" Brittany offered, though she didn't get up to attempt, chin resting on her hands defeatedly, knowing it wouldn't work just from how long Santana had been at it.

"Just set her down," Artie suggested nonchalantly. Mike frowned at him and shook his head in a disgusted manner.

"She's upset; why would you not want to comfort her? She'll think no one loves her and become a sociopath or something."

"Not quit accurate," Rachel chimed in, her head tilted to the side at Mike with her eyes narrowed. "But leaving her at this point would probably only make matters worse."

"Let me try, Santana. You need a break," Quinn said sympathetically. She got up from her seat by Matt and held her hands out to take the baby, and Santana passed her off without a second thought, giving Karlie a quick kiss on her very red face.

"Where's Finn again?" Mr. Schue asked, coming back from his short trip to the office where he'd gone to retrieve sheet music for a song he just knew would kill at regionals.

"Here!"

Finn hurried in, brandishing a bag from the drug store in front of him as if it were a prize. Santana met him and took a small bottle from the sack and quickly scanned the directions. One tablet every four hours, may cause drowsiness. Sounded good enough to her, quickly opening it and fishing out a single pink tablet.

"Bring her here, Q," Santana said, and Quinn did as she was bade, the baby having only started crying harder once she got her in her arms.

Her open mouth was to her mother's advantage, and Santana popped the tablet into her mouth and rubbed it around with her fingertip, making sure it dissolved completely before retracting her finger. She scooped her up from Quinn's arms and held her close, the baby giving up and laying against her chest, a most pitiful picture as she sobbed and fisted a hand in her mother's hair.

"My poor baby, that tooth is mean to you isn't it? Trying to come up and give you something to bite with, so mean mean mean," Santana crooned, stroking Karlie's hair softly. It was only moments before her crying quieted, and everyone took their seats, Santana and Finn looking at Mr. Schue apologetically.

"Sorry," Finn offered, though he shrugged his shoulders. Normally when they brought Karlie she wasn't a bother at all, but still these times when she caused a scene made them both feel guilty, knowing it wasn't fair to their teammates.  
Mr. Schue seemed unbothered though, his smile large on his face.

"It's under control now," he said happily. Brandishing a piece of paper at them, he grinned wider. "I have some news about regionals that is kind of exciting!" He waited a few seconds, everyone's attention rapt on him. Santana shifted Karlie in her arms and hoped it was worth the dramatic pause. "We're going to have to make a weekend trip out of it this year... The competition is going to be held in Chicago!"

Everyone started wooping and hollering, clapping their hands with excitement. Chicago was a big city, nothing compared to Lima. The opportunity to go and see the sights and experience city life for two days was enthralling.

Santana automatically thought of the public transit, remembering how Brittany expressed a desire to ride a real train almost every day in the eighth grade. She grinned hard at the prospect, and turned to tell Brittany about the trains in Chicago when Karlie gave a pathetic whimper, rubbing her face into Santana's shirt and gurgling, drifting off to sleep.

She frowned, rubbing small circles on her daughter's back, realizing she probably wasn't going to get the chance to take Brittany on the train after all. She couldn't spend a weekend away from Karlie, and no way would everyone want a baby tagging along on their trip. She couldn't take the bus with a car seat anyway, and no one would want to share a room with a baby who woke up at six thirty every morning and had to have relative quiet at nine pm, no matter if it was a Saturday night or not. And she couldn't drag a baby all over the city of Chicago when everyone else wanted to go sight seeing, probably late at night.

She looked at Finn, who was celebrating merrily, high fiving all the guys. He wouldn't want to stay back, and really, he was their male lead, he _couldn't_. That meant she would have to not go.

Brittany noticed that Santana wasn't joining in their gayety and furrowed her brow at her best friend.

"What's the matter, San?"

Mr. Schue took a break from practically skipping around the room with joy to look at Santana questioningly, since she was the only kid not wigging out over his perfectly awesome news.

"Santana? Something wrong?"

"I'm not going to be able to go to Chicago, Mr. Schue," she said, trying not to let her disappointment show through. Everyone stopped their laughter and high fiving to turn and look at her, confused.

"Why not?" Tina asked. "You can't miss it; it's Chicago! They have the best pizza ever!"

"The baby..." Finn said slowly, finally realizing. Santana fought not to roll her eyes at him. It was very like him to forget something like this in the heat of the moment.

"But you _have_ to. We need twelve to compete, and I'm not dealing with Jewfro on a four and a half hour drive to Chicago and back," Kurt said, and everyone else shuddered at the thought of having to replace Santana with Jacob.

"I can't leave her, and I can't take her," Santana said simply, her voice lifeless. This killed her, it really did... She wanted nothing more than to be able to go with all of her friends and compete, experience the city, everything. She just couldn't, and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

"Well the competition's not for two weeks; I'm sure you can work something out between now and then, right?" Quinn said, optimistic and smiling.

"My parents won't be around to watch her, Finn's work and have lives, I don't trust my brothers over night with her and they wouldn't want to anyway," Santana explained lightly, thinking of how Hendrix had brought Karlie to her when there was a problem. He couldn't do that if she was in Chicago. "There's no one to keep her, not for that long."

"We can talk to my mom about it and maybe she can switch some shifts around," Finn offered, taking the same route as Quinn and remaining positive. Santana sighed, the baby shifting in her arms slightly in her sleep.

"I know you're trying really hard, but I'm not asking your mom to watch her at the expense of her own responsibilities. She already does enough for us. It's just not fair."

"Well if you seem so set about just not even asking anyone..." Mercedes started to say, and her tone automatically set Santana on edge.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just I have my priorities, and this time Karlie just doesn't fit into this equation."

"Why can't we just take her?" Brittany asked, her eyes flicking to Mr. Schue who looked halfway horrified at the prospect of taking his Glee Club's biggest distraction along to an important competition.

"If Ms. Pillsbury went, she could hang onto Karlie when we're practicing and competing and stuff. She loves her," Mike suggested, nodding his head at his own idea.

"We will need another chaperone," Kurt agreed.

Everyone was watching Mr. Schue now, noticing the change in his expression once Emma was brought into the mix.

"How are we going to get her there? The buses don't have seat belts; I can't put her car seat in there. And how will we sleep? Who here wants to share a room with me and a baby?" Santana said, eyebrows knitting together as she dealt them a dose of reality.

"What if we didn't take the handicapable bus?" Artie said after a few long moments of thoughtful silence from the group. Santana arched a brow at him. "If we take the regular bus and your car, I could ride with you and then you have a place for the baby to ride."

"Artie..." Mr. Schue said, remembering how big of a deal this was for Artie the other time the club had agreed to let Artie get his own transportation. Artie waved his hand, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's cool, yo. Plus me and Santana can chillax to some old school R&B. It's totally not a big deal," he assured. Santana laughed, imagining that though they weren't really that close, she and Artie could possibly have some fun on a small road trip together. They did have pretty similiar musical tastes, at least.

"And you, me, and Karlie can just share a room, that's not so bad right if we have to get another room?" Finn said, looking at Mr. Schue.

"Guys, this is still a school sponsored event, I can't have you two sleeping in the same hotel room," Mr. Schue answered. He rested his chin on his hand, thinking.

"I'll share with Santana, I don't mind. We don't even need a double; we can share a bed," Brittany said quickly, and Santana nodded cautiously, though she hated to start thinking this was even doable before they thought out everything.

"I'll have to talk with Principal Figgins about it, but I think I can make him see reason... Without Santana we simply can't compete," Mr. Schue said. He looked at her pointedly. "You're okay bringing her all the way to Chicago? I know that's quite a journey, and she's so young..."

"If it all pans out then... I really want to go, Mr. Schue," Santana said, biting her bottom lip. "But I understand if we can't."

"Let's not set anything in stone until I've talked to Figgins and Ms. Pillsbury, but it seems like a tentative plan," he answered with a smile.

Santana beamed one back, more than happy that at least they had a pretty good strategy, if everything came together right. She didn't want to get too excited in case it didn't, though, so she cleared her throat, the smile disappearing from her face.

"A tentative plan is better than nothing," Finn agreed. "But if she can't go, I can't go either. I can't let her suffer alone. I'm Karlie's parent, too," he said firmly, and Mr. Schue nodded his head, obviously thinking.

"I understand that, and I think that's admirable, Finn. It might also provide a little extra push to get Figgins to agree."

"Would it help if I talked to Ms. Pillsbury?" Santana offered quickly, knowing Figgins could be worked over easily. Mr. Schue could handle that.

"A good idea," Mr. Schue said, nodding his head yet again. "I'll formally invite her to chaperone, and then you can speak with her about keeping an eye on Karlie while we're competing."

"Everyone's in then? Taking Karlie to Chicago?" Santana asked, casting a look around the room at her teammates. Everyone nodded their heads.

"It's that or we can't go at all," Rachel said with a little sigh. "Thank you for trying, Santana."

"Yeah, plus, we really have to win regionals this year. I'm tired of losing the big ones," Brittany added frowning at Sue's trophy case, mocking them all with it's trove of shiny awards.

"Well, that just goes without saying," Rachel responded with a little flip of her hair.

* * *

That night, Santana lay in bed, Finn stretched out beside her and Karlie sleeping in her crib. She couldn't sleep for worrying about this Chicago trip. She had to wait until Mr. Schue talked to Emma before she could ask her about watching Karlie, though she wished she could just get it over with. She was sure the redhead would go along with it if she worded her request right... It was only for a couple hours tops, rehearsals and their actual performance. The rest of the time she'd be able to keep Karlie with her, or Finn could take her.

She smiled at the memory of Finn saying he wouldn't go if she couldn't, pleased with the loyalty he showed. She turned to him and told him this, laying her head on his chest.

"You can't be the only one to miss out on things; that's not right," Finn said simply, wrapping an around around her and stroking her dark tresses carefully. "And I don't want to be in Chicago without you. It wouldn't be any fun and I'd be thinking about you sitting at home the entire time anyway."

"That's sweet. But if I can't go, you guys are pretty much out anyway, so you really don't have to worry about that," she said with a little chuckle. "But it's the thought that counts."

He chuckled along with her, his hand now running up and down her bare arm as he caressed her lovingly.

"Mmm. I like when your parents aren't home, by the way. I can just lay here with you, or..." He dipped his face down to catch her mouth in a kiss, pulling away after a few seconds with a grin. "Or _not_ just lay here."

She grinned back, snuggling closer. Ever since they'd done it that second time, they were pretty much having sex whenever they could. Not that that was often, due to hectic scheduling, timing, and sometimes just plain being too tired to attempt such a strenuous task. It was almost always hurried or interrupted, often both, but it _did_ happen, and that was enough for Santana in the end.

In typical guy fashion, Finn could stand to do it a lot more, the old adage of "once you start, you won't want to stop" being more than true. But he was polite about it at least, always an eye out for cues she might be in the mood and fast to back off if it turned out that he had read her wrong. Like right now.

"Good night, Finn," she said with a small sigh, her eyes closing sleepily. She felt Finn do a sigh of his own, though his was for a different reason. He seemed resigned to just sleeping though, laying a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"Night, Santana."


	42. Chapter 42

**A/N: I'm sad to see it end, but it has been a heck of a journey. I'm debating the sequel only because I feel not too many people are still following the story. So if you're out there reading, speak now or forever hold your piece. If there is enough interest I'll continue on as planned, but if it turns out your attention has waned, that's fine also. :) Enjoy!**

* * *

In the end, everything worked out to Santana's favor: Mr. Figgins had approved a seperate room for her, Brittany, and Karlie, though she'd had to pay for it, and Ms. Pillsbury readily agreed to double as a chaperone and Karlie-sitter. She'd almost been honored that Santana had asked, which Santana still found a little odd but she went with it because she was truly grateful to the quirky guidance counselor, especially now that they were actually in Chicago and having their sound check. It was pure chaos, someone (Brittany) forgetting to grab their bows from the choir room and someone else (Rachel, though she wouldn't admit it, Santana knew) had neglected to bring their choreography notes. It was a good thing this team had a history of making do and winging it.

Glancing out between the curtains from backstage, everyone else rushing around in a flurry, Tina shouting about losing her lucky rabbit's foot and Quinn assuring Brittany that it wasn't real for her own comfort, Santana craned her neck, looking for Ms. Pillsbury. She found her after a few moments not far off to the side of the stage, talking with an elderly woman. They were obviously talking about the baby Emma had sitting on her hip, and Emma glanced up at the stage just in time to catch Santana's eye. She pointed to her, looking at Karlie and smiling widely, gesturing towards Santana again. Santana grinned, waving her hand wildly. Karlie didn't seem to realize it was her, though she smiled her one-toothed grin regardless. One thing about being raised around a large group of people, her daughter knew no strangers, that was for sure.

"Santana, you ready? Mic check in five," she heard Puck yell, though he moved quickly out of earshot to hustle everyone else along. She waved one last time to Ms. Pillsbury and Karlie before turning around, ready to get on with business.

The sound check went off with out a hitch, and they got to mingle a little bit with the other teams, though it was a little awkward for Santana because she had retrieved Karlie from Ms. Pillsbury as soon as they were finished so as not to take advantage. The other high schoolers gave her odd looks as she socialized, speaking quickly and smiling disarmingly at her competition. It wasn't often they actually did something like this, so she took quick advantage of the opportunity to intimidate the other teams, set them on edge a little bit.

It was harder because of the adorable baby she was lugging around, causing people to coo and aww over her when they needed to be quaking in fear because of her mother. After a few minutes she handed the baby to Brittany in order to be more effective, a few fakely sweet compliments on girls' outfits and even a little light flirting with some of the better looking boys. Finn seemed to understand her angle, watching her with an amused expression as she did so. Quinn soon joined in her endeavor, and as a catty team they worked even better, the two sharing knowing smiles and delighted grins when they walked away from someone after giving them something to remember them by.

As time drew nearer for them to gather back into their groups and head back to the hotel to get ready, she drifted towards Finn, finding her boyfriend engaged in a football discussion with some giant boy with a deep bass voice. She looped her arm in his as she waited for them to shut up, sizing up the other boy as a tight end, if only from his sheer size alone.

"Oh, this is my girlfriend, Santana," Finn said after a few moments, after realizing she was there. "Santana, this is Drew, he's on the Pistol Whippers." She gave him a tight smile before turning to Finn.

"We need to get going; we have to rest our voices. First place doesn't win itself."

With that she drug him away, a quick wag of her fingers over shoulders as a goodbye for Drew. When they were a little off from the others, she furrowed her brow at her boyfriend.

"You're not supposed to be friends with them," Santana said.

"Welcome back, Bitchy Santana," Finn said with a laugh, squeezing her hand. "Don't sweat it. We've got this in the bag."

"I'll be more friendly when we're holding a first place trophy and staring down a trip to Nationals," she retorted with a flip of her hair, and he laughed again, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and hugging her to his side. She smiled, leaning up on her tip toes to plant a kiss on his lips.

"Don't ever change, Santana. I love you too much like this."

* * *

Though it was the typical set up for every time they competed, and one Finn and Rachel had done last year at this same competition, Santana could admit to being nervous. She stood at the auditorium doors to the left of the stage, waiting for the music to cue up, conspicuous in her bright red dress amongst patrons filtering in and out at random intervals. She looked over at Finn, yards away at the other entrance and gave him an anxious smile.

"You're going to do great," he assured her, beaming her a giant, confident grin.

"You can talk, you've done it before," she countered under her breath, smoothing her hands down over the front of her dress. They could hear the announcer over the speakers, and having drawn the first slot this go around, she knew they were up soon.

"Hey," he said softly.

She looked at him, swallowing. She had sung before in front of a bunch of people, sure, but a whole song, just her and Finn? She tried not to let her nerves get to her, but it was a little daunting, to be sure.

"Seriously. You'll be amazing out there. I believe in you." She let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, a genuine smile on her face. Knowing she had his support, and seeing how at ease he was as they were about to go out put her fears to rest, and just as their music started, winked at him.

"I love you, you giant nerd," she told him, eyes twinkling.

"I love you, too. Now let's get out there and knock 'em dead."

"Better than breaking our own legs, don't you think?"

Finn didn't have time to respond, throwing her a wry grin as he opened the door in front of him as she opened her own, adjusting his headset one last time before they entered the auditorium.

They walked in unison, careful quick steps timed perfectly after so many rehearsals, staring at each other as Finn sang and Santana watched him adoringly.

"_For the way you changed my plans, for being the perfect distraction, for the way you took the idea that I had, of everything that I wanted to have, and made me see there was something missing._"

A few beats and Santana took over, hands itching at her sides to gesture in some way, but keeping them at her sides with her fists closed, channeling the flood of emotions she felt from both performing and singing this song with Finn, one that seemed so perfect for them, into the action. _  
_

"_For the ending of my first beginning, and the rare and unexpected friend. For the way you're something that I'd never choose," _Santana winked here, not missing her next lines._ "But at the same time, something I don't wanna lose, and never wanna be without again."  
_

They had now reached the stage, climbing the stairs as the first line of the chorus rang out, their voices strong and blending together._  
_

_"You're the best thing I never knew I needed. When you weren't here, I had no idea."  
_

Meeting at center stage, Finn took Santana in his arms, holding her closely as they started to move, the actual steps a blur in her mind as she got lost in the moment, finding herself swimming in Finn's eyes._  
_

_"You're the best thing I never knew I needed, now it's so clear. I need you here, always."  
_

Santana started the second verse, rolling out from Finn's grasp before he twisted her back into him, ending up with her back to his chest. Pressing against him she grinned, her heart soaring along with the notes of the song. She looked out in the crowd and found Emma and Karlie easily, her daughter sitting up in her lap, watching the dancing and singing figures of her mother and father in a dazzled manner. Finn had found her, too, and after a few moments of staring out at their child met Santana's eyes again. _  
_

_"My accidental happily ever after, the way you smile and how you comfort me. I must admit you were not a part of my book, but now if you open it up and take a look, you're the beginning and the end of every chapter."  
_

Finn grinned, obviously finding the words as fitting as she did, watching her with loving eyes as she flitted around him. They didn't often have deep discussions about this sort thing, but every lyric rang true and spoke to their very souls, not only about each other, but for their daughter as well.

The rest of the gang joined them on stage now, swaying in the background to provide soft vocals underneath their last run through the chorus.

_"You're the best thing I never knew I needed. When you weren't here, I had no idea. You're the best thing I never knew I needed."  
_

The music slowed, the others a low hum as Finn sang lowly._  
_

_"Now it's so clear, I need you here."  
_

Coming to rest in her boyfriend's arms and glancing up at him, Santana found her daughter's face again and was unable to stop the corners of her mouth from turning up. She breathed in quickly, her last word sung as strongly as she surely felt it._  
_

_"Always."_


End file.
